Breaking the Rules

by Suzanne Brockmann

  Then, after she went into her room, he could dash down to the drugstore and be back without either of them ever knowing he’d been gone.

  Jenn didn’t let Danny carry her over the threshold when they went into the hotel honeymoon suite.

  It was more than merely impractical when it came to caring for his recent injury. It was … too much for her to take after the wedding vows and the rings and that incredible kiss he’d given her at Mr. Fudd’s command …

  You may kiss the bride.

  She felt as if she were doing role-playing make-believe with a lover who was far more into the game than she was.

  It was doubly strange, because she’d always thought of Danny as someone who had a little trouble living in the moment. He worried a great deal about his family responsibilities, and he always seemed to carry those worries with him.

  And yes, she knew he had to be different when out on one of his SEAL team missions. He would have to focus intensely, in order to keep himself and his teammates out of peril. Jenn suspected, at those times, that he compartmentalized and just pushed everything else aside.

  Kind of the way he was doing right now.

  Tonight, she was his full focus, and it was rather disarming.

  She’d felt that focus before—on the night that he’d seduced her. He’d pretended to read her palm and, because of the lines on her hand, accused her of being too pragmatic.

  She’d proven him wrong by leaping into bed with him. Or maybe she’d proven him right, because having sex with men she’d just met was not in her usual no-nonsense repertoire.

  Of course, Jenn had outdone herself tonight, in terms of nonpragmatic behavior. Or maybe this was pragmatic—marrying a man in order to help him save his brother from a terrible, life-threatening situation at home. But it should have been done quickly and quietly—matter-of-factly, minus the trumpet fanfare.

  It definitely had felt weird to do it this way, all fancy and formal, with the dress and the uniform and the flowers and the pictures and the honeymoon suite.

  Still, Dan was so clearly enjoying the entire experience, Jenn didn’t have the heart not to smile back at him as he opened the bottle of champagne that had been waiting for them in their suite, chilling in a bucket of ice.

  There were roses, too—three giant bouquets—strategically placed around the spacious room.

  Everything was lovely—and Danny was, too, dressed as he was all in white, with those colorful rows of ribbons adorning his broad chest.

  He poured them both glasses and handed her one and smiled into her eyes as he touched his flute to hers and gave a toast. “To my beautiful wife, Mrs. Jennilyn Gillman.”

  She’d surprised him at the chapel, when she’d declined to keep her own name. He’d clearly expected her to. He’d also clearly been charmingly pleased that she hadn’t, and she didn’t have the heart to tell him that it was a strategic move on her part. Although she had no idea if presenting such a unified front would help them gain custody of Ben, she knew it would be useful in the coming months when dealing with his schoolteachers and doctors—with all of whom she expected to have a large amount of contact.

  And okay, yeah, maybe she was also guilty of being sappy and sentimental, but part of her liked the fantasy elements that accompanied the tradition of a woman taking her man’s name. There was a sense of ownership there that went both ways. She was his woman, his wife. And he was her husband, her man.

  And she certainly liked the idea of Dan Gillman being her man.

  “You’ve been really quiet,” he said now as he gazed at her with those chocolate-brown eyes. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m a little freaked out,” she admitted, taking another sip from her elegant glass.

  “I’m not,” he said as he set his wineglass on the sideboard, his movement sure and commanding. Maybe it was the uniform, but he seemed bigger, too. Older and supremely confident. Not that he wasn’t all those things before, but somehow, tonight, it was amplified. “I was, though—a little bit. Right before the ceremony.” He smiled. “Zanella actually thought I was going to faint. I mean, I wasn’t, but … I guess I was looking a little pale. I do remember thinking, Holy shit.”

  “I think that’s where I am right now,” Jenn confessed.

  “Mine was a good holy shit,” he said as he took her glass from her and set it down next to his, turning back to her with a smile.

  “Mine’s … heavy disbelief,” she told him. “Mixed with a little fear, you know. Of the unknown.”

  He laughed as he took her hand and gently pulled her into his arms. She had to tilt her head to look up into his eyes, which was very nice.

  “That’s kind of funny,” he told her, “because for the first time in forever, with you by my side? I feel like I can finally handle anything that the future brings.”

  His soft words made him romance incarnate, but he took it a giant step further by leaning down, taking his time to look into her eyes before kissing her. It was a replay of the kiss he’d given her in the chapel. Sweet but thorough. Tender but laced with fire. And Jenn felt herself melting as she kissed him back.

  And then, in unspoken but mutual agreement, she helped him out of his uniform, even as he helped her out of her dress.

  And, God, he was beautiful, with sun-kissed skin covering well-defined muscles. Yes, he was still a little too skinny, a by-product of his recent tour of duty and ensuing hospital stay, but she knew that would change as soon as he was cleared to start working out more strenuously.

  It amazed her that he could look at her with the same ardent appreciation, but he did, and it wasn’t an act.

  Please God, don’t let it be an act …

  As Jenn fell back with him onto the bed, she pulled herself away from his kisses long enough to remind him, “I’m on top.”

  “Works for me,” he said, kissing her again, even as he rolled himself onto his back.

  Which left her straddling him, exactly where they both wanted her to be. He was hard, and she was ready—God, she was more than ready. It had been so long …

  But she was also hyperaware of his bandaged leg, and she told him, “Don’t you dare let me hurt you.”

  “You could give me a safe word,” he suggested, grinning up at her, even as he teased her with his body, sliding himself against her.

  “I’m serious,” Jenn said, but kind of blew it by laughing, because it was impossible not to laugh when he was smiling at her like that.

  “I can tell that you’re very serious,” he countered.

  “I’m going to be mad if I have to rush you to the hospital after this. So slow and easy, okay? We’ve got all the time in the world to attempt to break the bed. Well, not this bed. But our bed.” God, they were going to have to go shopping for a bed.

  Danny’s eyes were half closed, and he’d caught his lower lip between his perfect white teeth as he just kept that gentle motion going, sliding himself against her. “Slow and easy also works for me,” he told her. “Any other rules I need to know about, Mrs. Gillman, ma’am? Because I’m waiting on your green light …”

  Jenni leaned over and kissed him, and he seemed to take that as the go he was waiting for, because as he kissed her back, he simultaneously reached between them and shifted his hips and—God!—pushed himself home.

  She heard herself moan even as he did the same, and yes, God, yes, it felt so good, but he’d skipped a step.

  “Condom,” she said, in between kissing him back, even as she moved on top of him, pushing him more deeply inside of her.

  “Oh, yeah,” he breathed. “God, Jenni, that’s so good …”

  He was caught up in the moment—she was, too. But she was also the one who could get pregnant, so she forced herself, if not to stop, then at least to reach over toward the box of condoms he’d tossed onto the bedside table.

  But Danny knew what she was doing, and instead of helping, of shifting them closer, of pulling himself out and protecting her, he held her in place with one hand and grabbed
her wrist with the other, stopping her.

  “What if we don’t,” he breathed as he gazed up at her, and God, he was actually serious.

  “I could get pregnant,” she told him, but despite her dire warning, she didn’t move, didn’t pull herself off of him.

  “We’re married,” he said, as if that meant something.

  Jenn shook her head. “Danny, I don’t—”

  “I do,” he said. “I meant it when I said I do.”

  She was astonished. “You want us to … have a … baby?”

  He was nodding yes before she’d finished her question. “Someday. Yeah.”

  She was staring down at him with her mouth open, but she managed to close it and ask, “Someday like in five years? Because that’s really different from someday like in nine very short months.”

  “It’s Las Vegas,” Dan said, and at first his words seemed to be a non sequitur. But then he added, “Let’s gamble. Let’s make tonight special. And if we end up with a souvenir …”

  “A souvenir … ?” Jenn repeated with disbelief.

  “That just means it’s meant to be. We’ll be ready if we need to. Jenni, I love you. Don’t you get it? I didn’t marry you because it’s convenient. I married you because I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  * * *

  Dan’s very naked wife was looking down at him as if he’d just spoken to her in Hungarian or maybe Vietnamese.

  So Dan backpedaled. “It’s okay if you don’t want to,” he told her. “I was just … I don’t know, I guess I got a little drunk on the … romance of it all. Our wedding, and then, making love to you after all this time of not being able to …? But I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. I really don’t, and okay, shit, I’m lying. I’m, like, ten seconds from coming because you’re so goddamn beautiful, and Christ, this feels so good—”

  She leaned down and kissed him, which was close to the opposite of what he’d expected, which was for her to pull herself off of him so she could hand him an apology and a condom.

  Instead, she kissed him, and while she kissed him she moved, pushing him even more deeply inside of her, which wasn’t just close to it, it was the opposite of what he’d expected.

  And Danny stopped kissing her long enough to breathe, “Ah, God, baby, are you sure …?” Because although his estimate of ten seconds had been an exaggeration, it hadn’t been that big of an exaggeration.

  And Jenn wasn’t sure—he knew that, because he knew her—but she didn’t say it. She only said, “I’ve never done this before. Not ever,” as she kept that movement going. Languorously slowly, she lifted herself off of him, then pushed him deeply home. Again. And again.

  “Me neither,” he gasped. He’d never, ever wanted to gamble before this—not when it came to sex without birth control. And it sort of made sense, because he’d also never before made love to a woman who was his wife.

  “Never?” Jenn asked him. “No temptation?”

  “None.” Jesus, she was beautiful, and she was his, and he pushed himself up to meet her as she lowered herself down. And even though she was a big woman, he was even bigger, and it made her close her eyes and moan and—Christ, yes—grind herself against him, which pushed him still even more deeply inside of her. It was an unbelievable turn-on, especially when she looked down at him with such sheer desire in her beautiful eyes.

  “So good …” she breathed as she pulled herself up and then started the whole long, slow slide back down, all over again.

  “Jenni,” he gasped, it was all he could manage, but she somehow knew that he was trying to tell her that, God, he was going to come, and that the idea of his doing so without a barrier between them was going to blow his mind, because if he did get her pregnant, it was for-freaking-ever. And he wanted that, more than he’d ever wanted anything or anyone, and Jesus, he wanted to roll her over onto her back and slam himself into her, because he knew that she loved it hard and she loved it ferocious and physical, same way he did, because she was his perfect match in every way and she was his. And yeah, slow was nice, he definitely liked slow, too, but it had been so long …

  She somehow knew at least some of that, and she moved faster and harder, with short, deep strokes that were pretty damn close to exactly what he wanted, especially when he pushed himself up to meet her with enough force to make her gasp.

  And Jenni came first, and she came with such abandon, it was beautiful to watch, and he tried to hold on, because he wanted it to last forever.

  But he couldn’t do it, because she started to laugh—it was that good—and when she smiled down at him with such love and trust in her eyes, he knew once again that he’d finally found what he’d spent his entire life searching for. And he felt such a fierce and joyful rush of possession—mine!—he let go.

  And it was crazy how primal it felt, as if he were claiming her, marking her, and waves of emotion filled him as he felt his release surge inside of her again and again and again, as she gripped him and clung to him and sighed her pleasure.

  And then it was over, but it wasn’t over, not really. It was just beginning—their wonderful, crazy life together.

  And the magnitude of what he’d just done—what they’d just done—settled gently down around him as he held her tightly, as they both caught their breath.

  And it didn’t freak him out, didn’t frighten him, didn’t provide even the slightest sliver of doubt.

  On the contrary.

  He was awed by the strength of his feelings—by her feelings, too, and by the knowledge that she’d already sacrificed so much just to help him, just to be with him, to be part of his life.

  She’d given up her job, her home, put her career ambitions on hold …

  And Dan knew, right then and there, that she was not going to be the only one to make sacrifices for their impromptu little family—or, after tonight, maybe their not so impromptu slightly bigger family.

  “I love you,” he whispered, and he felt her sigh and smile, her face still pressed against his neck.

  “I believe you,” she said. She lifted her head to look at him and he saw an echo of her words in her gorgeous eyes. “And I love you, too. It feels pretty miraculous, doesn’t it? I wish I could go back and hear you say I do again. I think I didn’t quite believe it at the time.”

  “I do,” he told her, putting all of his conviction into the words.

  She smiled and kissed him and whispered, “I do, too.”

  “Hmm,” he said, “does this mean we also get to do a replay of the consummating of our vows?”

  Jenni laughed at that, pushing his hair back from his forehead as she gazed down at him. “Are you trying to get me pregnant?”

  “I might be,” he admitted, pulling her down to kiss her again.

  She laughed as she kissed him back, because, yes, he was starting to get hard again, and she felt it because he was still inside of her.

  “I was thinking,” he said quietly, “that it’s time for me to leave the teams. Maybe go to work full-time for Tommy Paoletti. For Troubleshooters Incorporated—you know, his personal security team?”

  He’d surprised her again. Completely.

  “That way I wouldn’t be gone all the time,” he continued. “And we wouldn’t have to wait five years. We could go for it, knowing I’d be around when little Phil or Jill was born.”

  Jenn laughed. “Phil and Jill Gillman?”

  “Kids love it when their names rhyme,” he told her, unable to keep a straight face, which gave away the fact that he was kidding. At least about the names he’d chosen for their unborn children.

  He pulled her down to kiss her again, even as he shifted his hips, pushing himself more deeply inside of her. Another few minutes, and he was going to be fully ready for round two.

  “What do you say, Gillman?” he asked her when he let her up for air.

  And she smiled at his use of her new last name. But her smile faded as she got serious. “I think,” she said, “that you
are an extremely romantic and passionate man. And I also think you should sit with this idea, and see how you feel about it in a few days or weeks. And I also think,” she added quickly before he could protest, “that I’ll support you, completely, whatever choice you make. But I went into this relationship with my eyes wide open. I know what it means to be married to a Navy SEAL, and I’m prepared for that. So make sure your decisions are for the right reasons, okay?”

  Danny nodded. “I really—”

  “Shh.” She cut him off with a kiss. “We’ll have a lot of time to talk about this tomorrow. Right now? I’m pretty sure you can’t get me any more pregnant than you may well have already gotten me, so … If you’re still thinking what I’m thinking, and I’m pretty sure you are”—she moved against him, and smiled—“Yes, I do believe I can read your mind …”

  He laughed and kissed her. And he knew without a doubt that meeting and falling for Jennilyn was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

  CHAPTER

  TWENTY-THREE

  FRIDAY, MAY 8, 2009

  10:04 P.M.

  Neesha had learned her lesson and was back to erring even further on the side of caution.

  She hid in the shadows, in the courtyard of the apartment building where Ben’s sister lived, just watching and waiting in the still of the night, while nothing moved.

  In all of the hours that she’d been there, she’d watched plenty of people come and go. All had been in a hurry. But then the foot traffic slowed and lights went off all over the compound.

  To her dismay, she’d fallen asleep at some point, and she jerked awake, her heart pounding, as a man and a woman came into the courtyard, arguing loudly. As they went into their first-floor dwelling, Neesha realized that the light was on in Eden’s apartment. The bedroom window, which looked out over the courtyard, was aglow. But then, as she watched, the light went off and the window went dark.

  She almost stood up, almost crept to the stairs so she could climb up them and scratch at the door before they fell asleep, praying that she was right and that they were on her side and would help her.