First Job (Minimum Wage Sidekick Book 1)

by Lucas Flint

  So in a few seconds James was down next to me, mopping up the water from the floor. I don’t know where he got the mop from; maybe he kept it on hand so he could clean up his prank like this quickly.

  “And Alex, I can hear you dripping water on the floor, so go to the bathroom and change into some dry clothes,” said Mom. “And try not to drip over everything on your way up there, either.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I shouted back.

  I made my way past James—who was back to chuckling at his ‘brilliant’ prank—and up the stairs, though I had to move slowly so that I wouldn’t slip in my wet shoes. I got a dry set of clothes from my bedroom and changed in the bathroom quickly. I also grabbed my extra pair of glasses that I kept on hand for whenever my main pair got cracked; they were slightly cheaper than my main pair, but they would do until I could get my prescription refilled.

  Stepping out of the bathroom, I was about to go back to my room and take a nap before I noticed James leaning against the opposite wall, his arms crossed in front of his chest. He was grinning as usual, an expression that just made me feel really annoyed at the moment.

  “James, I thought you were downstairs mopping up the water,” I said. “What are you doing up here?”

  “Already cleaned it all up,” said James. He shrugged. “It wasn’t nearly as wet as it looked. Plus, I work fast; it’s why I’m always helping my friends with their homework, because I finish my own so quickly that I always have time to help my friends with theirs.”

  “Is that why they called you Lightning Fist when you were a sidekick?” I said with a smirk.

  I was satisfied to see James’ grin vanish, replaced by an annoyed frown. “What did I tell you about calling me by that name again?”

  “You didn’t like it,” I said, “which is why I keep calling you that.”

  “Well, it’s a lot cooler than Beams, anyway,” said James, rolling his eyes. “Beams … what a stupid name.”

  “How did you know my sidekick name?” I said in shock. “Only Mom and Dad—did Mom and Dad tell you?”

  “Duh,” said James. “Mom couldn’t stop talking about your new job this morning. She’s real proud of you; of course, she was proud of me when I was sidekick, but not so proud when I quit.”

  I nodded. I wasn’t surprised to hear that, because Mom was a big superhero fan herself. “Well, I’m going to my room now. I’m really tired.”

  I tried to go down the hall, but James got in my way, blocking off the hallway. I forgot how big he was; not fat big, but muscular. Unlike me, James didn’t have any superpowers, but he was really strong and was a great martial artist, which was why he tried out being a sidekick for a while. I knew he worked out, but every time he came home, he seemed bigger and more muscular than before. I stepped back when he got in my way, looking up at him in annoyance.

  “Could you get out of my way now?” I said. “I want to go back to my room.”

  James shook his head. “First, tell me what you’re doing home early. Mom told me that you were going to be at work for the rest of the day.”

  “An accident,” I said. “Now, if you will excuse me—”

  “Alex?” Mom’s voice came up from the kitchen. “Are you dry yet? Get down here. I want to hear all about your first day at work for Rubberman!”

  I cringed. I was not in the mood to talk about my first day at work; however, I also didn’t want to tell Mom no, because I knew how she got whenever I refused her requests. I also caught a whiff of Mom’s cooking; oatmeal cookies, based on the scent, which made me want to go down and talk to her, if only so I could get a taste of those cookies.

  So I turned around and walked down the hall and down the stairs back to the first floor, with James going back into his room. I reached the kitchen in seconds, where I found Mom pulling out a fresh batch of oatmeal cookies from the oven. They were not the only batch of cookies she’d made, however, because I instantly spotted an entire pile of such cookies placed on a large plate on the kitchen table. Mom beamed at me when she saw me; she didn’t look nearly as annoyed as she’d sounded earlier, when she’d told James to mop up the floor and me to dry myself.

  “Alex,” said Mom in a bright voice as she placed the cookie sheet on top of the oven. “I see you’re both hungry for cookies.” She frowned and adjusted her own large glasses as she looked at me closely. “Alex, is that a cut on your cheek?”

  I touched my right cheek. I hadn’t realized it, but there was indeed a small cut on my cheek, although it felt healed now. I realized that I must have gotten it from the ninja; maybe he’d somehow cut my face during the fight. Or maybe I had gotten it when I crashed my bike into the street; that was more likely, given that I hadn’t been wearing my Beams helmet when I fell.

  “Oh, it’s nothing, Mom,” I said as I entered the kitchen. “Just a scratch is all.”

  “Did you get it while working with Rubberman?” Mom said, turning to face me with a bright smile on her face. “Or was it an accident?”

  “It was … an accident,” I said as I picked up one of the cookies and stuffed it in my mouth; its taste exploded in my mouth, though I kept talking. “It’s fine.”

  “Why are you home so early?” said Mom as she turned off the oven and removed her oven mitts. “I thought you were going to be working for Rubberman all day.”

  “He let me come home early because of something that happened at his base,” I said. I tried not to look at Mom when I said that, hoping that she might not inquire more into what happened there.

  Of course, I should have known better, because Mom frowned and said, “What do you mean, ‘something happened’? Take a seat at the kitchen table and tell me all about what happened. I’d love to hear it.”

  Reluctantly, I grabbed a handful of cookies and sat down at my usual spot on the table. Then I told Mom what happened; not every little detail, of course, but the general events that happened after I left the house. The largest thing I really left out was when I embarrassed myself in front of Greta; I have no idea why, given how that was probably the least weird thing to happen to me today, but I just felt embarrassed just thinking about it. I hoped that Greta wouldn’t remember that when I saw her in school on Monday. Maybe she’d be too busy with her classes to even talk to me.

  At first, Mom looked really excited about hearing about my work with Rubberman. She even asked me to describe my costume, which I did, albeit with not a whole lot of enthusiasm because I still thought it looked dorky and weird.

  But all of Mom’s excitement and enthusiasm vanished in an instant when I told her about my encounter with the ninja. I tried to make it sound as non-scary as possible, using the most casual language to describe the ninja’s attack. Unfortunately, that seemed to make it even worse, because Mom’s eyes just grew wider and wider with fear, as if I was telling her that I’d jumped off the Empire State Building without a parachute.

  “You were almost killed by a ninja?” said Mom when I finished telling her my story. She looked like she was about to faint. “On your first day of work?”

  “Mom, it’s not that bad,” I said. “I didn’t get too badly hurt. I actually managed to hurt the ninja with my laser beams. He’s probably soaking his burnt hand in some cold water right about now or something. He won’t come after me again.”

  I only said that to calm her down, because frankly I didn’t know if the ninja would come after me again or not.

  Not that that seemed to make any difference to Mom, however. She staggered backwards slightly, leaning against the kitchen counter, her hands held together so tightly that they looked like they were going to fuse into one formless blob. She sat down on the kitchen stool and put a hand on her head like she was getting lightheaded.

  “Wow, you fought a real ninja on your first day as a sidekick?” said James all of a sudden. I started and noticed he was standing in the kitchen doorway, leaning on the frame with his arms crossed over his chest. I hadn’t heard him come up, but I guess he must have come down from his room
at some point while I told Mom my story. “My first day as a sidekick wasn’t nearly as exciting. That’s cool. Twisted and dangerous, but really cool, too, bro.”

  “It’s not ‘cool,’” said Mom. She rubbed her forehead. “I mean, I know that being the sidekick of a superhero is a dangerous profession, but I thought that your first fight would be under Rubberman’s supervision. But from what you said, it sounds like Rubberman completely abandoned you and left you to fend for yourself.”

  “Mom, Rubberman didn’t know that the ninja was even there,” I said. “No one did, actually, until the ninja showed up.”

  “So?” said Mom. She was starting to sound angry now, rather than fearful. “Rubberman should not have left you alone for even a minute. That was extremely irresponsible of him.”

  “He knows that already, Mom,” I said. “It’s nothing to get worked up over. Rubberman told me that he’s not going to leave me alone again and he is going to focus on my training so I can defend myself in case I find myself in that situation again.”

  “I’m tempted to make you quit and get a different job in a safer environment,” said Mom. She stood up. “I will call Rubberman right now and have a talk with him about this.”

  Mom made a move to walk over to her cell phone, which lay on the kitchen counter on the opposite side of the kitchen. But I bounded from my chair and stood in between Mom and her cell phone, spreading my arms as widely as I could to prevent her from going around me. Mom stopped and looked at me in disbelief.

  “Mom, that would be a bad idea,” I said. “I still want to work for Rubberman. He’s really smart and I think he can teach me how to use my eye beams without blowing up stuff accidentally.”

  “Why do you need to learn how to use your eye beams at all?” said Mom. “Maybe you should just forget about your powers and get a job that doesn’t require putting teenagers in danger.”

  “It’s not that simple,” I said. “Besides, you were really excited about me working for Rubberman earlier. I thought you were a big superhero fan.”

  “I am, but that doesn’t mean I like or approve of the actions of every superhero,” said Mom. “I thought that Rubberman was responsible and conscious of the law. It sounds to me like he cares more about himself than your own safety.”

  “He’s not like that at all,” I said. “You’re not being reasonable.”

  “How am I supposed to be reasonable when my youngest son was nearly killed on his first day of work?” said Mom. “Move. Now.”

  I stood my ground. “You didn’t act like this when James got into his first fight as a sidekick.”

  “That’s because James didn’t fight an actual ninja all by himself,” said Mom. “Now move out of the way. I intend to call Rubberman right now and let him know that you will no longer be working for him in any capacity until you graduate high school.”

  Before Mom could push me out of the way, a large hand rested on her shoulder. Mom and I looked over to see that the large hand belonged to James; again, I had not heard him come closer during my confrontation with Mom. Maybe James was actually a ninja in disguise or something.

  “Mom,” said James in a cool, calm voice. “There’s no need to get so emotional about this. You know how dangerous being a sidekick is. It isn’t like Alex picked a fight with that ninja or Rubberman just held the door open for the ninja, after all.”

  “But Alex still nearly got killed,” said Mom, although I noticed that she didn’t sound as angry as before. “What am I supposed to do about it?”

  “Wait until Dad gets home and tell him about it,” said James. “Remember, Dad is the head of the house, so you need to at least get his opinion on this before doing anything. By then, you should be calm enough to think rationally; right now, you’re so overwhelmed with motherly love for Alex that you aren’t thinking as clearly as you normally do.”

  I said nothing, mostly because I had been in this situation before. James was always great at calming down Mom whenever she got emotional; I didn’t know how he was so good at it, but I figured it had to do with his skills at picking up girls. I had to admit, though, that I didn’t expect him to help me here. I knew very well that James didn’t think much of the superhero business and thought that he might be okay with Mom calling Rubberman to tell him that I wasn’t going to work for him anymore. I wondered what James’ motive for helping me was.

  Mom still looked distressed, but at the same time, I could see rationality returning to her eyes. She started to breathe normally as she said, “James, I think … I think you’re right. I shouldn’t rush a decision like this. It is wiser to wait for your father to come back home from work and tell him about it before I do anything hasty.”

  I raised an eyebrow, but still said nothing. It seemed like James had just hypnotized Mom, which made me wonder where he picked up such skills from. I made a mental note to ask him later.

  James nodded in an understanding way. “Yeah, see? You’re feeling better already. Now, why don’t you go and finish putting away the oatmeal cookies while Alex and I go to the living room and play video games?”

  “Yeah …” said Mom, who sounded a lot more calm now. “Sure, you two go and have fun. But as soon as your father gets home, I will make sure that he knows about this first thing.”

  “Of course,” said James. He looked at me. “Alex, want to come sit down in the living room with me and play video games like when we were kids? I can’t even remember the last time we played games together.”

  Still not knowing what James’ game was, I nodded and said, “Sure. I could use a game to take my mind off things anyway.”

  James nodded again, still smiling, and then led me out of the kitchen. We entered the living room, which was one room down from the kitchen, and then sat down on the sofa. Well, I sat down on it; James sat in Dad’s old recliner, pulling the lever back to make it lean backwards. He folded his hands behind his head and looked at me again, this time with a more serious expression than before.

  “Well?” I said. I glanced at the TV and the video game consoles underneath it. “Are we going to start playing or—”

  “We’re not playing video games,” said James. “I just said that so Mom would leave us alone.”

  “Oh,” I said, feeling like an idiot again. “Right. Why did you convince Mom to wait until Dad gets home? I didn’t think you liked superheroes that much.”

  James shrugged. “You’re right. I hate the superhero business. Being a sidekick is the worst. Constantly on the move, putting yourself in danger, getting mobbed by the press … it’s ridiculous. I have no idea why it’s even legal. And when I have kids, I’m going to make sure that none of them even think about becoming a sidekick.”

  “You didn’t answer the question,” I said. “If you think that about superheroes, why not just let Mom make me quit being a sidekick?”

  James sat forward in the recliner and locked eyes with me. “Because you’re my little brother and big brothers have to watch out for little brothers. Mom shouldn’t be making that kind of decision for you. Whether to continue working for Rubberman or not should be your choice and your choice alone. Can’t stand people who try to make choices for other people, even if they’re my own parents.”

  I blinked. “Wow, James, that’s the most sincere expression of brotherly love I’ve ever heard from—”

  “Also, I want you to owe me,” James continued, like I hadn’t said anything. He grinned. “Did you really think I’d do it just because I’m the greatest big brother in the world?”

  Of course not, but I didn’t say that aloud. Instead, I said, “What do you want, James?”

  “Nothing, yet,” said James, shaking his head. “But those eye beams of yours … they could be useful in the future, maybe for a prank or something. I just want the great sidekick Beams to owe me in case I need you to do me a favor.”

  “For free?” I said.

  “It’s not free if you’re paying me back for saving your job,” said James. His eyes drifted to
the living room entrance. “Of course, I could go back and convince Mom that she should call Rubberman to discuss your future employment with him …”

  “Okay, okay,” I said, holding up my hands. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do. Just as long as it doesn’t put my secret identity at risk or is illegal or anything.”

  “Well, I can’t guarantee the legality of whatever I might ask you to do, but sure, I won’t put you in a situation where you might lose your license,” said James with a wink. “I know how important it is to keep your identity a secret, so you don’t need to worry about that.”

  I sighed in relief. “Good. So do you actually want to play video games now or—”

  “Nah,” said James, pushing the recliner’s foot down and standing up. He glanced at the clock on the wall. “I’ve got a date at ten and I can’t be late, so see you later.”

  “But I thought you were taking a break from girls,” I said as James left the room.

  “College girls,” James said with another wink. “Working girls, on the other hand, are a totally different game.”

  “How so?” I said.

  “You’ll understand when you get older,” said James. “Or laid. Whichever comes first.”

  Before I could think of a snappy comeback to that, James was gone, leaving me feeling slightly embarrassed and grateful, as I usually did whenever I interacted with James. I supposed that it was good of him to keep me from losing my job, but now I worried about whatever he might ask me to do later on. Given his penchant for pranks, I doubted it would be anything good.

  But that was something I’d have to worry about in the future. Right now, my biggest concern was what Dad would say once he heard about my first day of work. Knowing how he was already predisposed against superheroes, I didn’t think it would be hard for Mom to convince him to take her side on the issue.

  CHAPTER NINE

  When Dad got home later that day, he and Mom sat down and talked about my first day of work. I didn’t sit with them; instead, I stayed in my room, pretending to browse the Internet on my phone, but actually straining my ears to try to catch whatever they were talking about. Unfortunately, because my room was on the second floor, I could not hear much, especially because Mom and Dad were not speaking very loudly, although I did hear a phone ringing before it was answered. I could barely focus on anything because I was so worried.