Nothing

by Henry Green

  “My dear child what on earth do you mean?”

  “The Italian business,” she said.

  “I don’t follow, monkey.”

  “Why you remember you were so keen I should throw up my job and go out to Italy?”

  “Oh that! I swear to you I hadn’t even considered it.”

  “You hadn’t!”

  “Well this thing about my marriage wasn’t on the cards then.”

  “But you do want me at the ceremony Daddy?”

  “Naturally! What sort of a father d’you imagine I am? Couldn’t you fly back?”

  “That’s all right then. All the same why did you wish me away?” she asked.

  “It’s simply. . .” he began when she interrupted.

  “Oh all right,” she cried smiling once more. “Whatever will you think? Here’s you getting married and I have to talk about myself!”

  “Then you don’t find the idea disloyal?”

  “Daddy!” she brought out with a dazzling grin. “That’s something must be entirely between you and your conscience.”

  “So you do,” he reluctantly put forward.

  “I said nothing of the sort,” she protested.

  “You see it’s never easy to explain . . .” he tried once more.

  “I didn’t suppose it was,” she agreed. “Lord there was me a few weeks back trying to tell about Philip and now the roles are properly reversed,” she cried. “You’re the one stuttering and stammering now,” she said.

  “I’ve meant to ask about Philip, Mary. . .”

  “No,” she cut in on him “this is not the moment. Let’s talk about you darling.”

  “You are sweet,” he said. “How can I oblige? What d’you wish to know?”

  “Well all of it of course! And right from the beginning.”

  “Oh that’s rather a long story,” he objected.

  “Whatever you say,” she agreed. “So we’ll keep everything for another time, very well.” Then her face clouded over. “And where d’you both propose to live?” she demanded.

  “I’m not sure my love. We hadn’t really considered that yet. Wherever will be cheapest of course,” he added with the whine of a guilty conscience in his voice. “In fact,” he went on “Jane has been making pretty much of a point how things come cheaper for two people than they do for one.”

  “Oh I’d have to find somewhere else naturally,” she admitted with what seemed to be amused if guarded acquiescence.

  “Why good Lord monkey you surely wouldn’t think we’d turn you out! Besides there’s your own future to consider. No the little I meant was it’s less expensive for the three in one flat than to live split up in two of them.”

  “And there’s Philip, and Penelope.”

  “Well yes so there is! Bless me we may have to take a larger place that’s all. And while we’re about it we might move to a less disgusting neighbourhood than what Jane and I both live in now. I must speak to Jane. Because the way this particular quarter has gone down lately is too frightful.”

  “I shouldn’t bank on Philip and me setting up shop so very soon Daddy.”

  “Why what are you trying to tell now dear?”

  “Very little. Anyway don’t let’s talk about me just this minute. Today belongs to you. It was only for when you make your plans, that’s why I said what I did. Anyway I’ll have to get a room of my own. But still, enough of that darling.”

  “However you wish Mary.”

  “Well doesn’t everything seem very strange to you?” she demanded. “Your going to be married I mean?”

  “Oh my love I’m so worried about dear Penelope!” he brought out at once.

  “Yes Daddy?”

  “She needs a man in the house.”

  “Have a heart! She’s not seven yet.”

  “I’ve such a responsibility towards Jane regarding the poor child,” Mr. Pomfret insisted. “There’s no getting away from it, cardinal errors have been made with that little thing. She’s just a mass of nerves. I owe this to Jane to get her right.”

  His daughter laughed, not unkindly. “Pen will be a match for every one of you I’m afraid.”

  “No monkey I’m serious,” Mr. Pomfret declared. “Marriage has certain responsibilities as you’ll find in due course when your time comes. I’ve taken on quite a lot where Penelope’s concerned.”

  “Oh I’d be inclined to agree with you there Daddy.”

  He laughed a bit shamefacedly in return for the broad smile she gave him.

  “Am I being ridiculous again?” he asked.

  “Perhaps you are just a little,” she replied. “Well now I ought to go out and meet Philip. Goodbye for now darling,” she said and kissed him hard. “I wish you every single thing you deserve and you’re wonderful,” she ended.

  “You’ll have me crying like Pen in two twos,” he laughed.

  •

  Mary joined Mr. Weatherby in the bar of the public house they always used in Knightsbridge.

  “Sorry I’m late,” she excused herself. “My father was making his announcement.”

  “So he’s told you,” the young man said and pushed one of two glasses of light ale towards her. “Seems rather extraordinary that they could marry!”

  “Well why shouldn’t they?”

  “After knowing each other all those years!” he objected. “When we’re engaged?”

  “I’d not be too certain if I were you,” she said looking away from him.

  “Why how do you mean?” he demanded.

  “Just what I say Philip.”

  “No one tells one anything,” he complained. “Are you trying to make out we’re not to be married any more?”

  “You know Daddy wants me to go to Italy?”.

  “How does that really alter our plans?” he asked.

  “I simply can’t apply for leave from the Department for any length of time,” she answered as she twiddled her glass of beer round and round on the table and watched it closely. “It’s rather sweet in one regard if you wish to know,” she added. “He’d prefer me away to let him get adjusted, I’m sure that’s why.”

  “Mary I don’t follow you at all.”

  “Well put yourself in their position, or in my father’s if you like! He’s embarrassed of course he must be, marrying an old flame at his age. He doesn’t care to have a grown daughter around while he adjusts himself to your mother, and marriage is tremendously a matter of adjustment you must admit Philip.”

  “I never said it wasn’t did I?”

  “Quite. I’m glad you agree. Which will make everything so much easier. For you know we’ve got to have a bit of a talk you and I one of these days.”

  “What about for heaven’s sake?”

  “Everything Philip.”

  “Oh dear,” he cried, but with a smile “this does sound ominous of you!”

  “I don’t know,” she answered. “All I am almost sure of is you won’t mind.”

  “You’re giving me marching orders?” he enquired as he watched the toe of his shoe.

  “I might be, yes,” she replied.

  “You mean to say you aren’t absolutely certain?” he asked with a sort of detachment. She turned to face Mr. Weatherby.

  “Philip you mustn’t laugh!” she warned.

  “I’m not,” he assured her with a straight face.

  “For a minute I thought you were,” she admitted and from the tone of her voice she could have been near to tears. “I’m not sure you mayn’t even have worked for this,” she added.

  “In what way?” he demanded.

  “Oh why are you so difficult to know Philip?” she asked transferring her attention back to the glass she held and did not drink from. “I think that’s the whole trouble. I can’t make you out a bit.”

  “Don’t get worked up Mary.”

  “But part of all I’m trying to tell you is, I’ll have to leave the Department; I’ve just explained I can’t ask for extended leave. If they gave it me they’d be bound to ta
ke as much off my holiday periods and so in the end I’d never get away again for ages which would be impossible even you will agree Philip.”

  “Really your Father is the most selfish man,” he burst out and raised his voice in indignation. “Entirely because he’s bent on marrying my mother all of a sudden, a thing he’s not thought of for years, he insists that you throw up a job which is a whole part of your life . . .”

  Miss Pomfret interrupted and had to shake his elbow to do so.

  “Quiet Philip you’ll have everyone listening in a moment. And anyway less of all this about Daddy please!”

  “I can’t help but . . .”

  “No Philip I mean what I say. I never bring up anything against your mother so why should you start about my parent?”

  “I wasn’t blaming him so much as I was the way he treated you.”

  “Where’s the difference?” she asked.

  “Very well then you win,” he replied in a calmer voice. “So you’re to chuck the whole career up in order to give your father time to get to know Mamma when they’ve lived in each other’s pockets ever since we were born!”

  “Go on I’m listening Philip,” she commented acidly.

  “But dear my only thought is of you!” he protested with what seemed to be some unease.

  “Why?” she demanded.

  “How why?” he enquired.

  “Did you think of me suddenly then?”

  “Well Mary isn’t that natural?”

  “Except this. When you could have done something for me, for us both if you like, you’d insist time and again, Philip, you mustn’t upset your family! It’s they who’ve come first always, isn’t that so?”

  “I don’t know what you’re referring to,” he said.

  “You made one great mistake Philip,” she explained in hushed tones. “I told you once but you wouldn’t listen. And that was we should have married, then told them all at your mother’s beastly party, and only then.”

  “Now who’s being offensive about parents?”

  “Oh Philip I only said about the party, I didn’t breathe a word against your mother though probably I might have if I tried. No, and now it may be too late!”

  “What may be?”

  “Our engagement Philip!”

  “You don’t mean to say you agreed to go through the ceremony with me just to stop our parents’ marriage!”

  “Don’t be disgusting! Of course not.”

  “See here Mary,” he said with what might have been firmness “there’s no good in your getting cross. The fact is you’re not a bit clear at the moment and I can’t make sense out of all you say.”

  “I meant things might be too late now for us to marry Philip.”

  “No, look, of course it’s for you to decide, but don’t rush this! You’re all on edge which is only natural. Go to Italy by all means, give yourself a chance to think everything over. But I’m bound to tell you throwing up your job on a whim as you are must affect me. I mean to say, what serious man wouldn’t consider, well you know. Honestly that does seem childish!”

  “There you are!”

  “Where am I?” he demanded.

  “But you don’t think of me in the least, ever,” she angrily protested. “If I talk of giving up my job you merely make threats about the effect it will have on you! Not that I care my dear in the least, so there!”

  “I was trying to suggest what was best.”

  “So you believe my interests lie in marrying you Philip?”

  “Not at all,” he answered warmly. “I’ve nowt to offer. I’ve never been able to believe you ever would. From your point of view it must be madness.”

  “Well well!” she said and smiled on him. “Oh I know you’ll think me awful but I must have more time. Still I wish you could have been decided like this all through. Oh Philip I have been miserable, truly I have! At moments.”

  “I don’t suppose anything’s been very gay for anyone except our sainted parents,” he replied.

  “There you go again!” she wearily complained.

  “Sorry. Forget it. Now how shall we leave all this? I know you will be annoyed but one thing I do bless my lucky star for, that we didn’t put our engagement in the papers. No,” and he raised a warning hand at the expression on her face “don’t say it! If marriage is a long grind, as they make out, of give and take then my feelings for my family are just one of those bad patches you’ll have to get used to. And I warn you there’s no one will ever get me out of them. Anyway go to Italy dear and see how you feel when you do come back.”

  “Oh no Philip,” she burst out, turning scarlet, “you’re not to be so bloody to me!! Here take your beastly ring, I’m off!”

  She almost ran out. He went rather white and cautiously looked round the saloon bar, presumably to see if anyone had noticed. No one appeared to be watching however. After which he finished both light ales and then left with much composure.

  •

  “Well she’s given him back the ring Richard,” Miss Jennings announced as she opened the door to Mr. Abbot.

  “Good God, can’t have been worth much then!”

  “No, no Mary has to Philip, not Jane to John.”

  “I thought all was settled between those two,” he said carefully as he folded his overcoat on a chair. “The children that is at least,” he added.

  “Why my dear you haven’t heard anything about John have you?”

  “No Liz but after what’s happened to the couple of us nothing in human nature can ever surprise me again.”

  “You are sweet. I like you so much better when you begin to be cross with Jane and John. And once upon a time I really thought you never would be!”

  He coughed and rubbed his hands together before her fire.

  “Rotten summer we’ve had,” he said.

  “Yes Mary’s given him back the ring,” Miss Jennings insisted.

  “And has Jane had hers yet?” he wanted to be told.

  “I don’t know. Oh d’you think so? I would really terribly like to see it. Because if he can’t do better for Jane than Philip was able to manage for John’s daughter the fur will simply fly my dear, you’ll see.”

  “Would she go as far as to chuck the thing back in his face?” Mr. Abbot enquired smiling.

  “Jane? Why you don’t want that surely Richard? Not now any more you can’t?”

  “Not sure my old wishes will have a great deal to do with anything you know, not where they’re concerned anyway.”

  “Why did you ask in that case?”

  “Curiosity never killed a cat in spite of all they say Liz.”

  “But if you’re so curious, then you do still care what happens to Jane! Oh Richard you can give yourself away at times so terribly!”

  “Well don’t you mind about John?”

  “I just won’t let myself.”

  “Nonsense my dear of course you’d like to know if he’d made up his mind not to marry Jane.”

  “I could still do with a small little satisfaction of my own if that’s what you mean,” she answered. “But I won’t allow myself to care about how the man behaves afterwards.”

  “Not much between us then probably,” he admitted.

  “Now what are you getting at?” she demanded, smiling with obvious pathos.

  “We’re in the same boat right enough it seems.”

  “Then don’t you start to rock the thing by yearning after Jane!”

  “Oh Liz as I told you once before I’m ‘just a thanks a million’ old soldier now.”

  “Well I say it’s John should be thankful all his life to me and so should Jane be for you.”

  “Why?” he asked. “What’ve we done towards ’em in the long run?”

  “But my dear,” she cried “I’m ever so clear about it all!” Her voice was genuinely light and gay. “It was we who rendered everything possible for those two, which made me so restless and cross at one time. They’d simply got into the habit of getting old, Jane even gloried in l
etting herself go, now don’t protest, and when she saw I was beginning to make something of John she grew so jealous she just couldn’t stand anything.”

  “Where do I come into it then?”

  “Why by being the sweetest man in the whole wide world and so enormously modest you can’t even lift a thumb! Don’t tell me she’d have been able to carry on once again with John if you’d as much as raised your little finger!”

  “Did you let John off without a fight Liz?”

  “Oh I’m different,” she admitted in honeyed accents. “There’s a fate on me Richard darling! Whenever I get involved with a man he always goes back to some first love old enough to be my mother.”

  “Never heard such poppycock in all my life,” he gallantly protested.

  “Ah but you don’t know, you can’t.”

  “A lovely creature like you,” he insisted.

  “Then why aren’t I married now?”

  “Often wondered and then by Jove one day I saw the whole thing in a flash! Fact is Liz you’re so damned honest and that’s a wonderful quality, rarest thing on earth nowadays! You just frighten ’em off when they can’t measure themselves up.”

  “Richard is this a compliment?”

  “Certainly is!”

  “If you go on like it you’ll make me cry,” she beamed upon him. “Because you’re the kindest sweetest man I think I’ve ever met. Oh you’ll make a woman so happy one of these days!”

  “D’you believe that?” he demanded almost fiercely.

  “As much as anything I’ve ever uttered in my whole life!”

  “Because when Jane won’t have me I doubt anyone else will now,” he muttered.

  “Don’t be so absurd! I tell you any woman would be proud and honoured Richard! And what d’you dare to mean by ‘now’?”

  “I’m no’ getting any younger Liz.”

  “I can’t make you out at all,” she protested. “D’you feel old?”

  “Can’t say I do,” he replied.

  “Well where’s the trouble then Richard? As I’ve told you before but you simply won’t listen!”

  “I don’t remember exactly Liz?”

  “Why so far as I’m concerned I prefer older people, older than myself I mean. And you once said such a sweet thing to me when you were on the subject.”

  “I did? You do?”