Life In Death (Book 1): Surviving Death (The Struggle)

by Holmes, Ethan

  “Good, we’re heading back to the rendezvous spot,” Frank said.

  “Meet you there.”

  As they pulled in back home, Anna met them at the door.

  “Steve, need you in here,” she screamed.

  “What’s wrong,” Frank and Steve yelled in unison.

  “It’s Karen. She started having a stroke a few minutes ago,” Anna called back.

  Steve rushed in to find Karen on the floor, barely conscious. Her face was still contorted. Kim, Joan, and Kathy sat over her crying. They felt helpless, watching their friend die.

  “Did you give her any aspirin?” Steve asked

  “Yeah, a few minutes ago. I gave her three,” Anna replied. Tears flowed down her face.

  “Ok. Hand me my bag,” Kim came up from behind him and handed him his medical bag. He took out a large syringe and a bottle of cloudy liquid.

  “What is that, Dad?” Will asked.

  “tPA. It’s a medication that will dissolve the clot lodged in her brain,” Steve replied while he pulled on the plunger, sucking the medication out of the bottle, being careful to remove all of the air bubbles. He took the needle and injected the medication directly into the vein in Karen’s left arm. He disposed of the needle in a sharps container in his bag and turned back to Karen.

  “Karen? Look at me,” Steve said calmly.

  She looked at him, still unable to talk.

  “Good. Just stay calm. This isn’t your first rodeo. We just have to ride this out. The medicine will work soon,” he said.

  Minutes passed and Karen’s face began to return to its original shape.

  “How are you feeling,” Steve asked.

  “Tired. Head hurts,” Karen whispered.

  “I bet. Come on. Let’s get you to bed. The aspirin that Anna gave you should help with your head soon,” he said as he scooped her up into his arms.

  Steve followed Anna upstairs who opened one of bedroom doors for him. He laid Karen on one of the beds and covered her with the blanket while Anna took off her shoes. He took out a blood pressure cuff out of his bag and checked her blood pressure. It was slightly high, understandable considering what she just went through. He tucked her arm back under the cover.

  “How’s that,” Steve asked, while he stroked her hair.

  “Better. You’re so sweet Steve. If I were only 30 years younger,” Karen replied.

  “Oh please. You’re still a smoking hot gal,” Steve said.

  Karen smiled. “See? You’re too sweet.”

  Steve laughed. “Get some sleep. I will check on you in a few hours. Ok?”

  “Ok,” Karen said as she closed her eyes.

  Steve got up and headed for the door. They all went downstairs to the kitchen.

  “Is she going to be ok,” Frank asked.

  “I don’t know. This is her fourth stroke in the past five years. I don’t think she will survive a fifth. I think I may have to increase her medication. The risk with that though is she may start bleeding internally if we take it too high,” Steve said.

  “Sounds like we don’t have a lot of options,” Frank said.

  “We don’t,” Steve replied.

  Frank walked into Karen’s room a few hours later to check on her. She laid there motionless. Frank walked up to her and grabbed her shoulder lightly.

  “Karen. Wake up,” Frank said softly.

  No response. He grabbed her neck lightly with his hand, checking for a pulse.

  “Oh God…” Frank said. Her skin was cold and he could not find a pulse.

  “Steve! Get in here,” Frank screamed.

  A moment later, Steve burst through the door with his bag. Frank moved away to give Steve some room.

  Steve checked her pulse and put his ear to her chest to check for heartbeat and breathing. He found neither. He took a flashlight out of his bag and checked her pupils. They were dilated and unresponsive. Steve slumped and slowly put his flashlight back into his bag. He got up off the floor with his bag and turned toward the group. It was at this moment, everyone realized what was happening. Everyone burst into tears. Isabelle walked through the crowd.

  “What’s wrong mommy,” the girl asked.

  Anna couldn’t answer through her sobs. Frank knelt down to her.

  “Miss Karen is gone, baby,” Frank managed through his sobs.

  “She’s right there, daddy,” she said as she started to cry.

  “No baby. She’s in heaven,” Frank said, trying to control himself.

  Isabelle started to cry uncontrollably. Frank took the child into his arms and they both cried together. He picked her up and took her downstairs.

  They all gathered by the grave they dug for her the next morning and lowered her carefully into it. The crying hadn’t stopped. She’d been with them since the beginning. They all missed her. No one knew what to say. Finally, Frank stepped forward.

  “I miss you Karen. None of us would be here without you. How are we supposed to move on without you? Without seeing your smiling face every day? Without hearing you pray for us? It feels like I’ve lost my mom all over again,” Frank said through his sobs.

  Steve stepped forward and wrapped his arm around Frank. “Karen wouldn’t want us like this, crying over her. She would want us to keep moving forward, together. She knew how close we all are, because she was the one who cemented that bond between us. If anything, she would want this to make us stronger,” Steve said with tears streaming down his face.

  They all stood there and Kim took out Karen’s bible.

  “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9,” Kim read from the book.

  Frank half chuckled, half sobbed. “I can’t tell you how many times Karen recited that to me.”

  Kim continued reading. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulations, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble. Corinthians 1:3.”

  Kim kept reading for nearly an hour. They all stayed for nearly an hour after that.

  Frank looked at Steve. “Let’s go home.”

  “Yeah. I think it’s time. Come on everyone,” he said as he put his arms around Kim and Will.

  One by one they all went toward the house until it was just Frank, Anna, Isabelle, and Tommy.

  “Go on to the house. I’ll be there in a bit,” he said as he kissed Anna on her forehead and then kissed Isabelle on hers.

  “I’ll stay and help,” Tommy said reaching for the shovel.

  “Thanks, Tommy,” Frank said. Tears still streamed down their faces.

  Frank and Anna laid in bed that night. Frank couldn’t get Karen out of his mind. With Karen gone, how would he keep the groups morale up? Would it ever recover to begin with? Anna shifted in the bed to face him. She put her hand on his chest.

  “You ok,” she asked.

  “Not really,” Frank said.

  “The sadness will fade. It will just take some time,” Anna said.

  “I hope you’re right. I really do, for all our sakes,” Frank said as he held her closer.

  “Haven’t you learned anything? Women are always right,” Anna said jokingly.

  Frank chuckled. “Guess I still have a few things to learn.”

  She leaned in closer and caressed his chest.

  “I can always teach you,” she said softly.

  “Oh really,” he said. At least he had a glimmer of hope.

  The next day, the group was moving much more sluggish than usual. Losing Karen was still too fresh to talk about. Everyone mostly kept to themselves, choosing to continue mourning in their own way. Frank and Steve did inventory of the goods they procured yesterday. Anna played doll house with Isabelle, while Joan read a book to them and Toby in the corner. Jim was out tinkering with the vehicles. Tommy helped Natalie in the kitchen. Kim picked up where Karen left off with her crocheting.
Will helped Kurt with radios. Jesse made a wooden cross to go on Karen’s grave with some tools they found in the basement. Spirits were at an all-time low, and Frank knew it. He didn’t know how to cheer the group up or even if it was the right time. He knew they all needed their space for a while.

  He saw this a lot. Every time his team lost a man, the team was useless for a few days. Everyone thought about the one they lost. It is a fact of life, and he could not control it. He was just glad they didn’t have any alcohol in the house…that he knew of. Finally, Steve broke the silence.

  “Do you think that we should talk about this with everyone,” Steve said.

  “No.” Frank’s heart sank a bit having to say it. “I know you may need to but it isn’t the time. We have to give them a few days, otherwise we could make this worse.”

  “I know. I just feel a bit helpless,” Steve said.

  “Same here. You could always just talk to me. We’re brothers. We have to take care of each other,” Frank said.

  “Thanks, Frank,” Steve said, feeling slightly better.

  Steve knew that Frank would do anything for them and would always have their best interests come before his. He also knew that Frank became very close with Karen and it possibly hit him more than everyone else. He didn’t know how Frank kept it together better than everyone else.

  Frank and Steve were just finishing up when Jesse came into the room with his creation. It was a wooden cross made from some 2x4s he had found around the house. It was beautifully engraved with the words ‘Karen McQuillen. Loving friend and Mother to us all.’ He had stained it a gorgeous, dark cedar color and it had a thick coat of polyurethane.

  “How does this look,” Jesse asked. His fingers colored from the stain.

  “This looks great! I’m sure Karen would love it,” Frank said as he inspected the cross.

  “This looks really good. You have got some talent,” Steve said.

  “Thanks guys. I didn’t know her for very long but she was a sweet lady. This was the least I could do,” Jesse said.

  “Thanks Jesse,” Frank said.

  “Do you want me to wait to put it in,” Jesse asked.

  “No. We finally stopped crying. I don’t think anyone wants to relive it,” Frank said.

  “Ok. I’ll go and do it now,” Jesse said as he left the room.

  Jim met Jesse at the door. Frank could overhear them talking. Jim complemented him on the cross. They parted ways and Jim came into the room.

  “Oil changes are all done,” Jim advised, rubbing grease off his hands with a shop rag.

  “Good. Thanks Jim,” Frank said as he wrote down the last item on their inventory.

  “I’ve got nothing else to do. Want to go hunting? Take our minds off things,” Jim asked.

  “Sure. That sounds pretty good. Go ask the others if any of them want to go. Make sure they know that they don’t have to.”

  “Will do. Oh, and uh, Frank,” Jim called out on his way out of the room, leaving his back to Frank.

  “Yeah?” Frank looked at him.

  Jim turned his head to the side, glancing at Frank. “I never said it before but uh, thanks…for everything,” Jim said, feeling embarrassed, then walked out.

  “You’re welcome,” Frank responded, a little puzzled.

  Frank looked at Steve. Steve smiled. “You’re the one who holds us together. Everyone knows it.”

  Frank was outside checking his gear when Jim walked up. Frank noticed him coming up behind him.

  “Ready to go,” Frank asked.

  “Whenever you are,” Jim said, eating a nutrition bar.

  “Wait for us!”

  Tommy and Nick came running up behind them with their gear on.

  “Thought you guys weren’t coming,” Jim asked.

  “The ladies talked us into it. They figure it would be good for us,” Tommy said.

  “Smart girls. You guys ready,” Frank asked.

  “Yep,” Tommy said.

  “Good. We’ll hit the usual areas. Let’s go,” Frank said as he started walking towards the van.

  A few hours into their hunt, Frank and Jim sat in a blind they had set up. The two had not spoken in hours, lost in their own thoughts. The two laid out bait to attract more deer into the area about 50 yards away from their blind, but hunting was the least important thought on their minds. Like everyone else, thoughts of Karen dominated their minds.

  Frank’s head shot up. He thought he heard something. He started to scan the area in the direction where he thought he heard the noise. Frank raised his rifle.

  Frank heard the noise again. Something broke a twig. It was getting closer. From behind a tree, a large doe walked out toward their bait. The doe was being very cautious, scanning the area, sniffing the air. Frank was about to take the shot when he saw something else behind the doe. The doe had a fawn following her. It couldn’t have been more than a week old. Frank lowered his weapon and spared the two. He knew that if the doe was killed, the fawn would die. Frank looked at Jim, who looked disappointed as much as Frank was. Looks like they would go home with nothing. Frank noticed something else behind the doe, who was directly in front of them. It looked like some branches moved about 200 yards away. He motioned to Jim, pointing his two fingers at his eyes and then motioned in the direction of the movement. Jim looked then shook his head, not seeing anything. A moment later they heard the snorting huff of a buck. Frank nearly jerked from hearing the noise. He motioned around to try and see behind the doe, wishing she would move. His wish was finally granted. The doe shifted to the other side of the pile of corn, revealing large buck. It was the biggest white-tailed buck either of them had seen, at least 12 points. They both started to shake with excitement. Frank raised up his rifle waiting for his opportunity, waiting for a shot on the broad side of the buck. He looked at Jim and lowered his weapon. He motioned for Jim to take the shot. Jim looked bewildered at Frank then raised his weapon. The buck made it to the bait that it was searching for. The buck finally turned broadside to have a better angle at his meal and revealed the perfect target. He controlled his breathing waiting for the moment between heartbeats to take his shot. Not that he really needed to. A target this large, this close, was an easy shot to make. The moment came and he took the shot. The buck twitched, stumbled then fell. The doe took off into the distance. The fawn was trailing behind her, trying to keep up. Frank and Jim exited the blind and walked up to their prize.

  “Perfect shot. Nice work,” Frank finally broke the silence.

  “Thanks,” Jim said as he reached down and lifted up the buck’s head to inspect the rack. “This is the best I’ve ever got. Wish we could mount this thing,” Jim could not help but be excited.

  “That is definitely a prize kill,” Frank said. He couldn’t hide his excited voice either.

  Frank took out his radio and gave it two mic clicks.

  “Bravo here,” Tommy came over the radio.

  “We got a nice buck. How are you two doing?”

  “A whole lot of nothing out here. Want us to head over? I got the dolly.”

  “Yeah, sure. Be careful,” Frank said.

  “Copy.”

  Frank put away the radio. Jim put the head down and reached into his bag for his rope. Frank took off the broom stick he had attached to his pack. Together they hoisted up the buck, suspending it from a tree branch. Jim gutted the animal, taking out all the organs and entrails. He was just finishing up when Tommy and Nick walked up.

  “Jesus! That things as big as a bus,” Tommy said.

  “Yeah. This will feed us for a while,” Nick said.

  Together they lowered the kill onto Tommy’s dolly and strapped it down. Jim and Nick began dragging the dolly.

  “Damn. This thing is heavy,” Nick said.

  Frank heard some rustling leaves in front of them. He motioned for them to stop and he dropped to his knee. They all followed suit pointing their weapons out in every direction. He motioned for them to stay. He got up and moved slowly
toward the source of the noise.

  As he drew closer, he heard a snort.

  ‘A snort? What the hell?’ As soon as the thought went through his mind, a feral pig burst from the bushes heading straight for Frank. Frank lowered his rifle and put a round directly between the eyes of the boar. It barely flinched, continuing its charge, squealing as it ran toward him. Two more shots rang out from Frank’s rifle, hitting the same area of the boar’s thick skull with expert precision. The pig wavered, shaking his head, feeling the concussion Frank just dealt. Frank let another shot loose. This one finally broke through the skull, scrambling the boar’s brain. The boar fell, twitching. Frank approached the animal. Tommy came up next to him. Both weapons fixed on the animal. Tommy kicked the animal’s hoof, trying to confirm that it was dead. The animal did not react.

  “I can’t believe that fucking happened,” Tommy yelled.

  Frank starred at the boar, smiling.

  “What’s the smile for Frank? That thing could have killed you,” Tommy said.

  “I knew that it wouldn’t. Looks like the dolly is going to get heavier. Jim, let’s string this one up and get it cleaned.”

  Frank reached for his radio.

  Anna beat him to it. “Alpha come in,” she sounded a bit worried.

  “Alpha here,” he responded.

  “Are you guys ok?”

  “We’re ok. Had a run in with more dinner. I’ll explain when we get back,” Frank said.

  “Copy that,” Anna ended the conversation.

  “Let’s get this cleaned up and get home,” Frank said.

  “I think I’m going to need to help pull all of this…” Tommy said, finally regaining his composure.

  As the group pulled back into the yard, everyone came outside and saw the prizes the men had brought home. Tommy recalled the events for the group.

  “And this badass over here just stood there putting round after round into the dome of this thing and didn’t even flinch. Look at this.” He pointed at the boar’s skull. “This thing was running full sprint at him and he managed to group these rounds in an area the size of a fifty cent piece.”

  Kurt knelt down to inspect the shots. “You know that you’re a scary man, Frank?”

  “I know. Came with the job,” Frank said with a snicker.