That Snowy Night (Into The Fire Book 11)

by J. H. Croix

  But it was as if he could read my mind as he reached across the console, sliding his hand onto my thigh. “If it’s easier for you, you can drop me off at the curb. You can’t go to the gate anyway.”

  All of the sudden, I knew the answer. “I’m walking you to security,” I said.

  His eyes widened in surprise, and I smiled. I liked surprising Alex, even over something this small.

  We didn’t talk while Alex got his bag, and we walked together through the parking garage into the airport. I waited while he checked in. Of course, he didn’t check a bag. The man had packed enough clothes in his backpack for two weeks, which I thought was pretty remarkable.

  He reached for my hand as we began to walk toward security. I looked around at all the other people hurrying past us through the airport and wondered if anyone else’s heart was breaking like mine.

  When we got to the area before he would get in line to go through security, he stopped and turned to face me. He let his backpack slide off his shoulder and rest on the floor by his feet.

  Capturing both of my hands in his, he searched my face quietly. “Did you decide about coming out to visit over your break? You can tell me next week if you’d rather think about it some more.”

  I had decided, but I was such a chickenshit that I’d been afraid to tell him. I swallowed through the tightness in my throat and nodded.

  “Is that a ‘yes, you’re coming’ or a more general ‘yes, you decided’?” A smile teased at the corners of his mouth.

  “Yes,” I whispered. “I’ll come. Though I’m not sure how I feel about you getting my tickets.”

  I could only bear to look at him for so long, so I dropped my eyes to the floor and stared at our feet. I’d worn a pair of tennis shoes, as he had, after he commented he needed something comfortable since he had to be on the plane for over twelve hours.

  He released one of my hands, then lifted my chin lightly with his knuckles. I looked in his eyes again and hoped he couldn’t tell I was about to cry. The sheer joy contained in his gaze set my heart to pounding crazy hard.

  “Awesome. As soon as I land, I’ll take care of the tickets and send you an email. Okay?”

  “Okay.” I couldn’t seem to speak above a whisper.

  There was an announcement over the airport speaker, and a family hurried by us, one of the kids dropping a bag. A woman scooped it up, and they kept moving.

  “I should go,” he said.

  “Okay.” My vocabulary had deteriorated, it seemed.

  Alex wrapped me in his arms, giving me one of those hugs that made me feel so secure. I burrowed my head into his chest and breathed in his scent, hoping I wouldn’t forget it.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Alex

  April

  “When did you say Delilah would be here?” Holly asked.

  I glanced at my watch as if the time itself would tell me when. Holly, being my ever-obnoxious sister and always quick to notice every detail, added, “You don’t have a fancy watch with a calendar on it, dude.”

  Nate let out a chuckle from across the table. Glancing back and forth between them, I replied, “I know. Three more weeks. That’s when her break from school is.”

  “How is nursing school going for her?” Holly asked, her eyes bright and curious.

  “Good, I think. I know when I was visiting, she did homework every night and then online classes three times a week.”

  “Do you know how far into her program she is?” Holly chimed in with another question.

  “Uh, no,” I replied. “Is that something I should know?”

  Holly pursed her lips. “Yes, dummy. You flew all the way across the country to spend two weeks with her and paid for her to come back here for another week. You should know everything.”

  “About her nursing school program?” I was genuinely mystified.

  Nate, being the best friend he was, leaned his elbows on the table with a sympathetic gaze. We were at Wildlands Bar, a favorite local bar and restaurant. I had run into Nate at his plane hangar when I went out to take care of a few repairs on another plane, and he’d suggested we come by here for dinner. Of course, Holly met us here as well.

  “Holly thinks you’re in love. By extension, that means knowing absolutely everything about a woman, no matter how irrelevant it is to your relationship,” Nate offered with a grin.

  “Does Nate know everything about your work?” I asked, looking at my twin sister.

  “Sure,” she said sharply.

  When I flicked my eyes toward Nate, I knew he didn’t. “I bet he doesn’t even know your schedule tomorrow. Or next week, for that matter. And I bet you don’t know his.”

  Holly bit her lip and then stuck her tongue out at me.

  “Nice, that’s mature. I’ll talk to Delilah and find out where she’s at in her nursing school program.”

  “If she moves here, she can do her nursing internship at the hospital,” Holly said excitedly, actually rubbing her hands together.

  “I don’t know if we’re at the moving-across-the-country stage yet.”

  Just hearing Holly’s suggestion had my heart giving a funny little tumble in my chest. Even if I lived where Delilah did, whether that was here or North Carolina or somewhere else, I knew I’d have to play my cards just so to convince her we could have something real. She took cynical and guarded to new levels.

  Holly gave me another pointed look. “Well, Delilah sure as hell isn’t gonna consider it if you’re all doubtful. I hear all these amazing things about people who meet long distance and fall in love. They learn all the stuff about each other before they actually live together. I think it’s a really cool way to get to know someone. You should take advantage of the distance.”

  “Says the girl who married my best friend from childhood. You two have known each other since before you can even remember,” I muttered.

  Nate chuckled and leaned back in the booth, resting his arm across Holly’s shoulders. “He’s got a point.”

  Holly shook her head and let out a little harrumph. “Well, it’s not like he’s known Delilah since they were kids. I’m just trying to talk about his situation, not mine.”

  “What did you say?”

  Delilah was silent on the other end. Her sigh filtered through the phone line, and I sensed she was annoyed. Meanwhile, I was shocked and confused.

  “My father is sick.”

  I remembered how she had carefully avoided introducing me to her parents, even after I had asked her about it. I was becoming painfully aware of how little I knew about Delilah. It wasn’t just the status of nursing school. It was everything.

  “How sick?” I asked.

  “He’s dying,” she whispered.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, my voice coming out rough. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

  Trying to imagine her face, I pictured her eyes looking at me suspiciously because I knew she didn’t like it when I asked personal questions. Just now, I was starting to feel like she was never going to let this thing with us be anything more than at arm’s length. In our case, there was almost an entire continent between us.

  “I don’t know. I don’t talk a lot about my personal life. With anyone. I’m not used to it. When I was growing up, I couldn’t invite friends over because of how things were at home, so it’s a habit not to talk about it,” she explained.

  “When did you find out he was sick?” I asked gently.

  “Not long after I got back from my trip over the holidays.”

  I could hear the defensiveness in her tone. I reminded myself that it wasn’t helpful for me to get upset with her for not telling me this. It wasn’t the details that I was upset about. It was realizing just how much she kept herself at bay from me.

  “Is this why you didn’t want me to meet your parents when I was visiting?”

  “I guess. Alex, don’t take this personally. My mom and I talk, but I haven’t been close to my dad. Ever. He has colon cancer, and it’s bad. My mother say
s the doctors say he’s only got a few months left.”

  “I’m so sorry, Delilah.” My words felt like they fell far too short of what she needed. I wanted to hold her.

  Because I came from a loving family, it was hard for me to imagine how she must feel. I wanted to be able to see her face. “Can we switch to a video call?” I asked, my mouth running ahead of my thoughts.

  Delilah was quiet for a few beats, the silence heavy through the phone line. “Okay,” she finally whispered.

  “I’m hanging up, and I’ll call right back.”

  As soon as I hit the button to end the call, I realized she might not answer again. I tapped to open the video call screen, hit her number, and waited. My breath came out in a whoosh when she answered. She wasn’t really a fan of video calls. I tried to get her to do them every night, and she was always squirrely about it.

  I sensed I knew exactly why. There was nowhere to look but at each other.

  “Hey,” I said softly when I saw her face. Lines of tension bracketed her eyes and mouth, and she looked tired.

  “Fuck,” Delilah began, nervously brushing her hair away from her face. “You’re so good and so nice, and I’m just not used to having anyone even ask. I hope you don’t take it the wrong way that I didn’t mention what was going on with my father sooner.”

  Crazy as it sounded, her worry made me a little happy. Not because I wanted her to be worried. No, that scored my heart with sharp claws, and I hated that she was thousands of miles away from me. Yet her worry meant she understood this mattered to me, that she mattered to me. That felt incredible, like a monumental achievement.

  “It’s okay,” I said. “I’m really sorry about your dad. Is there anything I can do to help?”

  Delilah’s pretty mouth twisted as she shook her head. “No. It’s just weird. I went over there yesterday when my mom said he might be awake. He was, but he was pretty out of it. They’re already giving him hospice care. He’s been an alcoholic his whole life, and now he’s doped up on pain medicine. I don’t mind. I want him to be comfortable.”

  “I’m glad he’s comfortable, even if he’s out of it.” I paused, trying to gather my thoughts. I forged ahead even though I wasn’t even clear on what I was trying to express. “I can’t say I know or understand what you went through growing up because my childhood wasn’t like that. I do know it would be hard not to have parents I felt like I could turn to, and I’m sorry you didn’t have that. If there’s anything I could give you, I want to give you a place where you feel like you belong.”

  Delilah’s gaze searched mine through the phone screen. I thought I saw a little flicker of something in her eyes, but I wasn’t sure.

  “I’d love that,” she finally said. “Tell me about your family.”

  “Well, you know Holly. She’s my twin sister. It was just me and her. My father is a pilot, like me.”

  “You’re a pilot too?” Delilah interjected.

  “Yeah, I hadn’t mentioned that? My job is an airplane mechanic, but I can also fly.” She smiled, and damn, that felt good. “So yeah, like Nate. You remember him from Christmas, right?” At Delilah’s nod, I continued, “My dad was a bush pilot, and he flew all over Alaska before he retired. My mom is a nurse. She’s retired. Well, not one hundred percent. She fills in when they need help in a pinch at the hospital. Before you get here for your visit, you should know Holly wants you to do your internship in Willow Brook at the hospital. She also gave me a lecture because apparently, I’m supposed to know everything about your nursing program.”

  Delilah laughed. “How is Holly? Also, next year is when I’m scheduled to do my internship.”

  I didn’t miss that she completely avoided addressing Holly’s proposal that she do it in Willow Brook, but I decided to leave that alone for now. “Holly’s just fine. My parents are still together, and they still live in the house where I grew up. Whether you want to or not, I’m not sure I can avoid having you meet them when you come to visit. Willow Brook is a small town, and Holly’s already told them you’re coming. Sorry about that.”

  She shrugged lightly. “It’s okay. I already met Holly. If I can handle her, I can probably handle your parents, right?”

  “You can handle anyone, Delilah.”

  Her cheeks went pink. “I have a class in five minutes. I should go because I need to get some dinner heated up before I start.”

  “Got it. Thanks for telling me about your dad.”

  Delilah nodded. She pressed two fingers to her lips and blew a kiss to me.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Delilah

  “Hey, Dee,” my father said, using a nickname only he ever used with me.

  When I was little, I hated it because it represented a laziness to me, like everything he did. Just as he couldn’t be bothered to keep a job, not to drink, and just generally do life, he also couldn’t manage to say my full name. Not that anything was wrong with that particular nickname. It’s just no one else used it with me.

  Right now, though, my stomach felt funny. It had that hollow feeling you get when an elevator moves suddenly, or when you’re riding a roller coaster and descending abruptly. Because he was the only one who ever called me by that nickname, there would only be a limited number of times I would hear myself addressed that way again.

  Sadness swamped me, and I actually had to close my eyes for a minute as I sat down in the chair by his bed. Opening them, I saw my father’s eyes were closed where he lay on the bed. He looked frail. His arms were thin, and his skin was papery. His color was faded. It was almost as if the light of life inside him was slowly dimming. Which, I supposed, it was.

  “Hey, Dad. How are you feeling?”

  “Like shit,” he replied with a chuckle as he opened his eyes.

  That was one thing I could say I’d learned from my dad. He was always blunt and forthright. Even about his tendency to be a “falling down drunk.” His words, not mine.

  I reached out to squeeze his hand, startled at how weak his grip was when he gave me a squeeze in return. Drawing my hand back, I laced my fingers together and rested them over one of my knees. I bounced my foot restlessly just as I did whenever I was anxious.

  My father rolled his head away to look out the window beside the bed. It was raining today, rather fitting for my mood. I felt as melancholy and gray inside as the sky was outside, and the rain represented my unshed tears. I almost jumped in my chair when he spoke, his voice raspy.

  “I know I wasn’t the best father. I hope you know I loved you, still do. I went to an AA meeting last week.”

  I was relieved he was looking out the window because my mouth dropped open in shock. He caught me as he turned back and smiled softly. “It’s all right. You can be as shocked as you want. I’ve been ragging on AA my whole life. I went because I guess I wanted to figure out one thing before I died.”

  “What’s that, Dad?”

  I felt like a little girl again. As if I was peering around the corner and waiting to see my dad do what I always wished he would do—pull himself together.

  “Well, I can’t get sober, and I don’t suppose I have time to do the steps about mending things. But I can tell you I’m sorry that I let alcohol steal my life and your childhood.”

  I didn’t realize I was crying until I felt the path of a tear roll down my cheek, cooling in the air. My dad reached over slowly to the nightstand and handed me a box of tissues. I started laughing. After blowing my nose and dabbing at my eyes, I balled the tissue in my hand.

  “It’s not worth much now, but I’m sorry,” my father added.

  His blue eyes held mine as I studied his face. He had the skin of an alcoholic. Under the surface of his pale skin was a visible map of broken blood vessels.

  “It’s okay, Dad. I’m sorry you’re sick.”

  “That’s okay too. Hell, for years, I tried to get pain pills. Never could, but I had to go to the doctor so that made it harder. Now, I’m all dosed up,” he offered with a chuckle.

&n
bsp; “I want you to be comfortable. Are you sure you’re okay that I’m gonna be gone for a week?”

  “Course I am. Your mama says you met a guy. Please tell me he doesn’t have a problem with drinking.”

  “He doesn’t.” I shook my head, kind of hard, and my chest felt really tight.

  “Tell me about him.”

  In a conversation I absolutely never expected to have, I sat there in the chair beside my father’s bed and told him almost everything I knew about Alex—how we met at camp, the ski trip, Alex buying me a ticket. Well, except for the sex. I left that out.

  I talked until my father’s eyes fell closed, and he was breathing in the soft, easy rhythm of sleep.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Delilah

  Late April

  Once again, I found myself looking out the window of the plane, marveling at the sight of the jagged mountain range below, the snow-covered peaks a stark contrast against the blue sky. The surface of the ocean ruffled under the wind as the plane lowered when we approached Anchorage.

  The minute we landed, my pulse started humming. As soon as we got the clear to turn on our personal devices, I turned mine on. It vibrated immediately with a text from Alex.

  Alex: Waiting just outside the security area. I got the emoticon with a giant smile at the end of his one sentence text.

  My heart was going insane, bouncing around in my chest with excitement. Minutes later, I was walking with a cluster of people. When we turned a corner in the hallway, I saw Alex standing just beyond the glass doors that separated this part of the airport with the non-secured section.

  His eyes were searching through the group of people. I felt a low tug in my belly when his gaze landed on me. My heart thudded hard, and my breath hitched in my throat. He smiled, and I felt my own lips curling up in return.