Donuts & Daydreams

by Maddrey, Elizabeth

  “That’s good. You deserve a little break. You work hard.”

  “This from the lady who spent her Christmas patrolling the streets of Arcadia Valley.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m a cop. Without family. I might as well take my turn so someone who’ll benefit can have the day off. Speaking of that, though. I brought your gift.” Gloria pushed the wrapped rectangle across the table.

  “Thanks. I got you this.” Jonah tugged the envelope out of his pocket and handed it to her. He was probably supposed to open the thing...but it was already better than what he’d gotten her simply because it was a real gift.

  “When I saw that, I thought of you and knew you needed it. And if you already have it, I can return it.”

  He took a deep breath and tore the paper, revealing the latest cookbook by one of his favorite chefs. He’d eyed it at the bookstore when he was shopping for gifts on Christmas Eve, but had held off in case someone got it for him. When none of his siblings did, he’d planned to get it himself later this week. His fingers itched to snatch the gift card out of her hand. “I don’t have it yet. I’ve been wanting it, though. Thanks.”

  Gloria opened the envelope, her eyes dimming as she pulled the printed gift card out. “Oh. Nice. Thanks.”

  He winced. “I wasn’t sure...I mean...I don’t usually get things for friends. You know what? Let me get you something else.”

  “No, this is fine. It’s great. Really.” She tucked the paper into the breast pocket of her uniform and emptied her coffee. “I guess I should get back out there.”

  “Let me grab you a box for the other donuts.” He stood, his gaze falling on the cookbook. Maybe she did care. “Gloria? Would you be my date for Micah’s wedding?”

  She pressed her lips together and there was a frantic edge to the way she shook her head. “No. Jonah...we’re just friends. That’s all we can ever be. I’m sorry. I...I have to go.”

  Jonah’s heart sank as he watched her flee the bakery. That was the last time he was listening to his brother when it came to dating. Jonah might be half in love with Gloria, but that was his problem. He’d get over it—over her. Eventually.

  2

  Gloria rang the doorbell and tucked her hands in her pockets. She heard kids hollering inside the house and smiled in spite of the heaviness of her heart.

  Constance Espinoza, the wife of her fellow police officer, pulled open the door with a broad grin. “Gloria! What a nice surprise. Come in out of the cold.”

  “Thanks, Constance.” Gloria stepped in and pulled off her gloves, stuffing them in the pockets of her coat. She unwound the scarf from around her neck. “Is Felipe around?”

  “Of course. He’s back in the den. Let me take your things. Can I bring in some coffee? Maybe some cookies?”

  “I don’t want to impose...”

  “Nonsense. I’ll be right in. You go. And if Ava’s in there trying to convince her dad to give her more chocolate, send her out to me, would you? It’s time for us to read and get her ready for bed.” Constance folded Gloria’s coat over her arm.

  “Thanks.” Gloria wiped her feet on the mat inside the door. Should she take off her shoes? They weren’t super wet and she didn’t plan to stay long, might as well keep them on. She headed down the hall to the kitchen and turned in to the den. Felipe was parked in a leather recliner, sock-clad feet up, his small daughter in his lap. The picture on the TV flickered, but the sound was off.

  “No, Ava. I’m pretty sure mama wouldn’t go for that.” Felipe kissed his daughter’s head. “Isn’t it bedtime for you?”

  “You put me to bed?”

  Felipe kicked the recliner closed and started to stand, pausing as his gaze landed on Gloria. “Looks like I have company. I think it’s mama’s turn tonight.”

  Ava’s lower lip poked out. “But I want you.”

  “I know, Corazon. I’ll check in on you later. Go read and get ready for bed.” He kissed her again and gave her a little swat on the bottom to get her moving before grinning at Gloria and putting his feet back up. “Did you just finish work?”

  Gloria nodded.

  Felipe gave her a long, measuring look. “What brings you out tonight?”

  Gloria rubbed her damp palms on her jeans. “I was hoping you had a few minutes to talk. I...need some advice. But if you want to put Ava to bed, I can wait.”

  “No, it is good. Constance loves to read with the girls. Have a seat. What’s on your mind?” He reached for the remote and switched off the TV completely.

  Where did she even start? She settled into the second recliner but leaned forward, clasping her hands. Felipe knew her history. He was one of the few people in Arcadia Valley who knew all of it. “Jonah asked me to go to his brother’s wedding.”

  Felipe frowned. “Aren’t you in the wedding?”

  “Yeah. Serena’s one of my best friends. But all the other attendants are married. To each other. Jonah and I are the only single people. I guess he thought it made sense for us to pair up, too.”

  “Hmm. And you said no.”

  Gloria sighed. “Like I’ve said no every time he’s asked me out for the last two years.”

  “He’s persistent.”

  She smiled weakly. “I guess.”

  “Why does he keep asking? It is odd, isn’t it, for a guy to do that when the lady in question has made it clear she’s not interested?”

  Her cheeks warmed. “I’m not completely sure I made it clear. We’re friends. Good friends.”

  Felipe nodded. “I see.”

  Constance came in with a tray. She slid it onto the end table between the two recliners. “Coffee. Decaf, so don’t worry. And some cookies the older girls helped me make this afternoon. They might need to be dunked in the coffee.”

  “Thanks, mi alma.”

  “Yeah, thanks. I’ll try not to be much longer.”

  “Please. You’re always welcome here, you know that. And when Felipe takes time off, he misses the job, so it’s good you came and can fill him in on what he’s missing.”

  Gloria chuckled and watched as Constance left the room. “You’re not missing anything. It’s slow around town right now.”

  “Figured. That’s why I went ahead and took the vacation time. Back to Jonah. You haven’t told him?”

  She shook her head. “I haven’t told anyone in so long...I don’t even know how to work it into conversation. And until Jonah came to town, it wasn’t an issue.”

  Felipe sipped his coffee contemplatively. “The way I see it, you have three options. One, you can let things keep on the way they are. At some point, he will give up and move on. I’m guessing that’ll be sooner than later. Two, you can tell him you’re already married. That should get him to stop asking you out. Or, three, you can track down your no-good husband and file for divorce.”

  “I can’t...I made those vows. I meant them.” Her heart ached. She didn’t love the man she’d married anymore. They’d been apart for too many years. She didn’t even know if he was alive. And with the way he’d been living when he kicked her out, it was a real possibility that he wasn’t. Still, she wasn’t going to be the one to end things. The way she read the Bible, she owed it to him to be willing to try to reconcile. Maybe at some point her faithfulness would lead him to Jesus.

  Felipe sighed. “I still think you’ve given him more time than anyone would require. You’ve been here what, eight years now?”

  “About that.”

  “What will you do?”

  “You really think Jonah will give up?”

  “I would have a long time ago.”

  Gloria reached for a cookie. “I guess I’ll wait a little longer. Before I could tell Jonah, I’d need to tell a lot of other people first. It feels like opening Pandora’s box.”

  “I’d consider it lancing a boil. But I won’t push. Yet.”

  “Thanks.”

  He shrugged. “I’m not sure I did anything. But let me say one last thing?”

  “Okay?”

 
“Jesus said it best in John eight—the truth will set you free.”

  Gloria nodded, her stomach clenching. Maybe he was right. Maybe that was the better, smarter, course of action. But she couldn’t go there. Not yet.

  * * *

  At her apartment, Gloria changed into sweats and her Marine Corps sweatshirt. She only wore it around the house. Not many people knew she’d served for four years before coming to Arcadia Valley to be a cop. For that matter, none of her life before Arcadia Valley was widely known. She wandered into the second bedroom that she used primarily for storage, though she had vague plans of turning it into a study someday. So far, that had translated into some cheap bookshelves on one wall and stacks of boxes on the other. She’d lived here going on nine years and still lived like this was a temporary stop.

  She hefted the only box that sat alone on the floor and carried it into her bedroom. Sitting cross legged on her bed, she took a deep breath and lifted the lid. Gloria fought a sneeze at the puff of dust and gently lifted out the uniform cap and set it aside. Underneath was the certificate she’d received at her promotion to sergeant. She managed a slight smile as she set it next to the cap. There it was.

  Swallowing the lump that formed in her throat, she took the photo album from the box and placed it in her lap. She hadn’t opened it in almost five years. Was this walk down memory lane really necessary? Before she could talk herself out of it, she opened the cover and blinked back the tears that filled her eyes as her gaze landed on her wedding photo.

  She and Frank both looked sharp in their dress uniforms. They’d met at Parris Island, trained together, sweated together, complained together, and somewhere in there, forged a friendship. After graduation, when they both ended up heading to the Military Police Basic Course, that friendship slowly morphed into love. When they’d finished school, they’d taken weekend liberty and found a Justice of the Peace to make it official.

  Gloria sighed and turned the page. She traced her finger over photos of their first apartment together but skipped over the postcards and letters he’d sent when he’d been away on temporary duty. More pages flipped and the brief happy period of the marriage was over—they just hadn’t known it yet.

  Deployment was hard on marriages where one spouse was a civilian. But when both spouses got deployed to different places it had to be a little worse. They were both in harm’s way and schedules never aligned, so even if she’d had a chance to call or link up with him online, he was rarely free.

  And then he’d been injured.

  She’d gotten emergency leave to see him in the hospital. But then she’d had to go back overseas, while he’d been shipped home for recovery. And while he was getting used to his prosthesis, Gloria had learned the value of prayer and, thanks to the Chaplain, found Jesus. Then, finally, she’d gotten to go home, only to discover that Frank had found an addiction to pain killers and Darla. Maybe Marla? The woman’s name wasn’t important, but she symbolized the end of everything.

  Gloria snapped the photo album shut and tossed it aside. She peered into the box. There were a handful of letters, most were missives she’d sent that had been returned unopened. Brushing an errant tear off her cheek, she loaded the memories in the box and settled the lid on. Maybe Felipe was right. Maybe it was time to take action and end things.

  Her phone rang and she pushed the box to the end of the bed as she checked the caller ID. Serena. Gloria forced a smile as she answered. “Hey.”

  “Hey, yourself.” Serena’s voice was full of enough pep to power a small country. “Five more days!”

  “You ready? It’s not like you were sitting around while you were planning this thing. I’m not even sure how you plan a wedding while you’re filming a movie.” Gloria tucked the phone between her ear and her shoulder and scooted off the bed. She grabbed the box and carried it to the other room. Better to leave it there, out of sight. Maybe in time, she could get it out of mind as well.

  “I think we are. The only thing left is the cake, and Jonah assures me he has that under control.”

  Gloria frowned. “I guess he’s had practice twice now.”

  “Yeah. Though I’m not sure how he’ll manage to be groom and baker some day. Maybe he’ll go ahead and contract that one out.” Serena paused before clearing her throat. “Do you have a plus one you need to tell me about?”

  Gloria huffed out a breath. “No.”

  “Okay. Just asking. Thought maybe you might have ended up needing to sit with someone...”

  “Fishing like this is unattractive. Jonah asked me. I said no. I thought—hoped, even—that you’d at least understand.” Gloria pressed her hands to her eyes. Did she just need to explain the whole sordid mess to the world to make them understand? Her stomach twisted. She couldn’t. It was humiliating. And heartbreaking. She didn’t want to deal with everyone’s pitying glances and conversations that tiptoed around any topic that might relate to marriage.

  “I’m sorry. I’m trying. But...I don’t get it. The two of you are great friends. You hang out all the time when the family gets together or if there’s something going on at church. You stop by the bakery practically every day and flirt with him. So what’s the deal?”

  “I don’t flirt.”

  “Girl, you do.”

  No. She didn’t. “We talk. Banter, maybe. But it’s not flirting. Unless you’re saying I flirt with the guys on the force, too?”

  “Maybe you do?”

  “No. I’m just one of the guys. It’s how we talk. I can’t help it that Jonah doesn’t understand that. I’ve been as clear as I can.”

  “I still say you have feelings for him. Tell me I’m wrong.”

  She couldn’t. But she also couldn’t have those feelings. Shouldn’t. Wouldn’t. She might not love the man she was married to, but she could choose not to fall in love with someone else. “I can’t. But it doesn’t matter. There’s no chance for us, Serena. Could you please let it go?”

  Serena sighed. “I want you to be happy.”

  “Not everyone gets a fairytale ending. Besides, it’s not like I’m some gorgeous Hollywood starlet. I’m just a cop who’s more at home in jeans and work shoes than a skirt and blouse. Speaking of that...”

  “Nope. You have to wear the dress. A fancy pantsuit is not the same thing. Besides, you look amazing in it.”

  “Says who?” Gloria winced. “Never mind. Don’t tell me. I can guess. I’ll wear it. But I draw the line at heels.”

  “Fine. Wear the ballet flats. Can I still seat you near Jonah, even though you’re not officially going together? We decided not to have the whole bridal party at one table. Micah and I will have a little round table just for us, the rest of you will get scattered around.”

  That was better than being up at a head table on display. But sitting with Jonah...would be fun, provided he could just be a friend. “Okay. Now, what do you need me to do between now and the wedding? I have a little time.”

  “I’ll text you a list. Thanks.”

  “You got it. Micah tell you where you’re going on your honeymoon yet?”

  Serena laughed. “Nope. He’s keeping that close to the vest. I’m sure it’s going to be great. Are you okay?”

  “Of course I am. Text me that list. ‘Night.” Gloria ended the call and let her shoulders slump. Maybe she should’ve said yes to Jonah. Would that have been wrong? They could go as friends, couldn’t they? They’d done that for lots of things over the last two years. Somehow, a wedding was different. Maybe it was knowing how he felt about her that changed things? Maybe it was understanding that she felt the same way.

  Even though she knew she shouldn’t.

  * * *

  Gloria pushed through the door of A Slice of Heaven and breathed in the heady scent of yeast and sugar that permeated the air. A hint of coffee wound through, accenting the aroma, and making her mouth water. Her gaze wandered down the glass display cases before coming to rest on Micah at the register. Her eyebrows lifted. Usually Jonah was out here when
she stopped in.

  “Hi, Gloria. What’ll it be today?” Micah set his book aside and stood.

  “Maybe I’ll go for the cliché and get one of those chocolate frosted donuts and some coffee.”

  Micah chuckled. “Have you tried the apple spice?”

  “You mean orange spice?”

  He grinned. “Those were yesterday. We have apple today.”

  “Guess I’ll be walking some of my patrol this afternoon. I’ll have one of each. Did you have a good Christmas?”

  “We did. I think Ruth was hoping you’d swing by after you got off work.”

  Guilt wormed its way through her. She’d thought about going, but it had been a long, boring day, and she hadn’t been up for all the happy couples. With Jonah asking her to the wedding yesterday, she’d probably made the right choice. At least when he’d extended the invitation they’d been alone. If he’d asked in front of the whole crew she might not have been able to say no. “I didn’t want to intrude. Christmas is a family thing.”

  “We consider you family.” Micah’s smile was gentle, offsetting the hint of chastisement in his voice. “I thought you knew that.”

  “I do. It’s just...” She sighed and reached for the bag holding her donuts. “You know how complicated this is, don’t you?”

  Micah shrugged and punched buttons on the register. “Do you need a to-go cup or will you stay here?”

  “I’ve got a few minutes if it won’t bother you.”

  “Not at all.” He took her money and dropped change in her palm. “Might even join you for a minute or two. I could use my afternoon jolt of caffeine.”

  Gloria nodded. She dropped the bag of donuts on one of the tables before carrying her mug to the coffee station and filling it. Clearly Micah wasn’t going to volunteer any information about Jonah. Which meant she had to ask. “How’s Jonah?”

  Micah’s eyebrows lifted. “About like you’d expect.”

  “So...he’s fine?”

  Micah just looked at her.

  She hunched her shoulders and sipped the coffee. She really needed to figure out a way to budget beans from The Beanery into her life. The grounds in a tub from the grocery store couldn’t hold a candle to the magic Grant Ward worked. At least she managed one cup of the good stuff a day. The sludge they passed off as coffee at the station might as well be tar. She cleared her throat. “I don’t understand why he’s surprised.”