‘Oh, there’s always time.’
Two weeks later and I can tell by Dan that although he’s sad to go, still a huge part of him needs to be back at work, doing what he loves best. We hug at JFK airport and he brushes away my tears and tells me that he’ll be back for me before I know it.
‘I’ll ring you as soon as I get home, love,’ he calls out to me as he races for the gate, about to miss the final boarding call. ‘I’ll meet you at the moon!’
I blow him a kiss and wave till he’s out of sight. And as I watch him stride away towards the boarding gate, I think back to when I sat here by myself, not so long ago, howling crying because I thought he was with someone else. What a change a few weeks can bring, I smile quietly, walking away with a spring in my step.
Funny, but as I count the weeks down to when I’ll see him again, I often think of that hazy parallel life that I might have had, with Jack. Because who knows what would have happened if Dan had ended up with Lisa? Or if I’d given up on him and chosen a whole other life instead?
Maybe I’d have moved out to LA with Jack…maybe we’d have stayed together…maybe a whole lot of things.
As I say, I sometimes think about that other, distant parallel life that shimmered like a mirage on the horizon for a brief, shining moment. From time to time, I play it out in my mental theatre and wonder what if…but never, ever for long.
I push the thought away and now it’s all about the future.
WINTER
Epilogue
Dan is as good as his word and the following December, he’s back, in time for our anniversary. Bearing hot news too; when he was back in Ireland, he had to attend a conference up in Dublin…where…wait for it…he was offered a new job.
It’s at a busy practice in the city centre, but I can see the proud gleam in his eye when he tells me all about it. But as for me, I’m ecstatic! Because this is exactly like an action replay of our old happy life in the city. Before we moved down to Stickens, before all our problems started.
‘So Mrs Ferguson,’ he rolls over and says to me on a chilly, lazy afternoon just after he’s arrived, when the two of us are tangled up naked in bed together. But then, ever since he walked through the door, we’ve been doing an awful lot of making up for lost time.
‘What do you think of that, then?’
‘It’s amazing, honey…but…what about your mother? And The Moorings?’
I want to tack on and the Countess bleeding Dracula too, but manage to bite my tongue in time. Don’t want to even invoke her name during our romantic reunion scene, plenty of time for that later.
‘You know what? They’ll all do perfectly well without us. After all, when I was here with you back in October, everyone managed just fine. The practice was fine, my mother was fine…the world continued to revolve without me being there…it all worked out. If it’s one thing I’ve learned this past year, it’s that I’m not indispensable. Besides we’ll only be in Dublin, just a drive away, that’s all. And my mother has a full-time nurse now, so I don’t worry about her as much as I used to. Then Jules is starting her creative writing course in Cork…’
‘Good,’ I nod, and he smiles. ‘She’ll be their star pupil.’
He grins and pulls me in closer to him.
‘And then the practice will still keep on running without me. I’ve taken on a new intern who’s only fantastic, so he can stay up at the house and keep an eye on the place when we’re gone…’
Oh sod it anyway, I can’t resist asking…
‘But…well, won’t Lisa and the kids be there too?’
‘That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, love. No, they won’t. I didn’t want to tell you this over the phone, but ever since I got back from seeing you last time, it seems that she’s been actively trying to patch things up with her husband. So she told me that by the time you got back, she and the kids will already have moved back to London, to be with him. Best thing really,’ he adds kindly. ‘Harry and Sue were really missing their dad. They were slowly starting to turn me into a kind of surrogate father and it was all wrong. Those kids need to be with their real dad.’
I have to slump back against the pillows, unable to take in all of this good news.
In fact, I nearly feel like bursting into a chorus of Ding Dong the Witch is Dead from The Wizard of Oz, but somehow manage to restrain myself.
And we’re moving back to Dublin too! Where we were once so happy. Where we’ll be happy again. I just know it.
And now it’s my turn to tell Dan something else too.
Some big news I’ve been keeping to myself. Something that I didn’t want to tell him over the phone either.
‘Course, you know, sometime in the future, the time might come when we may seriously think about moving back to The Moorings,’ I tell him, lightly, teasingly.
‘What are you talking about, love?’ he says, leaning over me now and looking me full in the face, puzzled.
‘Oh, you know, I’m just saying, maybe one day you and I might just need a bigger house, that’s all. When a bit more space may just suit us. Like for instance…oh, I dunno…a house with a nursery, like The Moorings has? Say if I were having a baby, for example? If I were to ever…find myself pregnant?’
‘Annie…?’ He pulls me up to him now, his whole heart in his warm black eyes.
And that’s when I tell him. The news I’ve been secretly carrying around with me since not long after he left in October. That he’s about to become a dad. And that I’m only eight weeks gone, but that I’ve had a scan already and that everything seems absolutely perfect.
It was torture, keeping it from him all these weeks, but I had to see the look on Dan’s face when I told him, I just had to. And oh my God it was so worth it. Worth all the morning sickness, the nausea, the soreness, the constant tiredness and worst of all the secrecy; worth it all just to see the way he’s looking at me right now.
Worth it all, worth more.
For a second I think he might pass out with shock, but then as the realisation dawns on him, his whole face bursts into that lovely, wonderful, crooked smile, that I love so much. He hugs me over and over again and in all the time I’ve known him, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Dan, my Dan, this blissfully, overwhelmingly happy.
He kisses me so deeply that it takes my breath away and all I can think is: how lucky are we? If all the great love stories are about loss, how lucky are we that ours was so short lived?
Because love turned upside down is love for all that. And if marriage is all about falling in love, then my life lesson has been this: a long and successful marriage requires falling in love with the same person, not just once but over and over again.
That night, we go back to the Rockefeller Center, scene of so many romantic scenes between us and now the scene of another one. We don’t skate, just snuggle up on the benches looking down at the swarms of skaters swirling away beneath us. It doesn’t snow, like it conveniently did for us the night we first got engaged another lifetime ago, but I know just sitting here that this is a magical moment for us, one I’ll be replaying on a loop in my mind for years to come.
We’ve come full circle, Dan and me. Somehow, against the odds, we’ve made it.
‘I love you,’ Dan breaks off to whisper to me. ‘Always have, always will.’
And suddenly, just like that, our whole future unfolds in front of us like a rolling red carpet, as far as the eye can see.
Read on for Annie Cole’s (Unofficial) Guide to New York
Annie Cole’s (Unofficial) Guide to New York City
Shopping
OK, just to be clear, New York City is the shopping capital of the world. Period. In fact, let’s face it, NYC is to shopping what Cheryl Cole is to fake tan; you just can’t imagine one without the other. So for what it’s worth, here are a few ‘must-dos’ for your NYC itinerary.
1. Century 21
Located downtown on Courtland Street, right beside where the Freedom Tower is now well under way.
>
Anyroadup, as any visitor to the city will tell you, one of the worst problems – particularly with a short visit to NYC – is the dreaded jetlag. Now trying to deny jetlag is a bit like trying to deny gravity, and lying in your bed wide awake, staring at the ceiling at 5 a.m. is par for the course, worse luck. Trouble with New York though is that none of the major department stores open until 10 a.m., which leaves you stomping round empty streets for hours on end, gazing forlornly at the steel shutters down outside Macy’s and not having the first clue what to do with yourself.
But this is why Century 21 is such a minor miracle for tourists, because it opens at 8 a.m., and is far and away the city’s best kept secret. Believe me, you’ll find designer dresses at knockdown prices; and by knockdown, I mean reduced from four figures down to a staggering sixty dollars or so.
And the shoe department…oh dear God, the shoes! I know a pair of those glossy little Chanel pumps in Europe cost upwards of three hundred Euros, and may I be struck down this minute, but I got a pair in Century 21 for forty bucks. Yes, you read that right. Forty. Trust me, allow yourself at least half a day for Century 21, because you’re going to need it.
Best for: shoes and handbags.
To be avoided: if you can’t handle crowds of fellow bargain hunters shoving their elbows in your face. It’s designed for the hardier shopper, not for the faint-hearted.
2. Daffy’s
Located on Herald Square and 34th Street, though mind you, there’s a bigger, better one at Lexington Avenue and East 57th. Another discount store with the enticing slogan, ‘Dress in Prada for Next to Nada.’ Dontcha just love it? Well worth checking out, particularly for kids’ clothes and household stuff too.
Best for: absolutely anything and everything. Something for everyone, really.
To be avoided: if you’re a heterosexual male, and therefore have to be chloroformed to be dragged within a ten foot radius of a department store.
3. Lord & Taylor
Located at 484 5th Avenue and 38th Street. Oooh, you’ll thank me for this one. A New York shopping institution popular among locals, and astonishingly, for such a well located store…nearly always tourist-free.
Best for: anything from work clothes, to mid-priced stuff, all the way up to seriously trendy, catwalk-clobber altogether. You know, the sort of street-smart chic outfit you really only ever see on SJP, then wonder where she went to buy it. Here, more than likely.
To be avoided: by no one I can think of. Even blokes will like Lord & Taylor, mainly because in spite of its central location in the dead centre of 5th Avenue, it’s always lovely and quiet. No queues, no crowds, no hassle. Ever. Oh, and another tip? Bring your passport along with you to guarantee yet another ten percent off your final price.
4. Just about anything beginning with a ‘B’
By which of course I mean the mighty triumvirate of Bloomingdale’s, Barneys and Bergdorf’s. Fabulous to stroll around and go people watching in, even if you don’t buy. Because trust me, these stores are priiiiiii-ceeeey. That aside, honest to God, you’ve never seen so much mink fur on such taut, pulled-back faces. What is it about plastic surgeons that makes everyone over the age of seventy in this town ultimately wind up looking like Joan Rivers?
Best for: seeing how the other half live. And shop, of course.
To be avoided: unless you’ve just happened to cash in on the winning Euromillions lottery. Put it this way, Jackie Kennedy did all her shopping at Bergdorf’s. That should tell you everything you need to know.
Eating Out
1. The Rockefeller Café at the Rockefeller Center
Just gorgeous and overlooks the ice skating rink in winter. Very reasonable too. And who knows, maybe after a few drinks you might think to hell with it, slap on a pair of ice skates and try your hand at becoming the next Dancing on Ice star. But let me know if you end up falling on your bum with half the restaurant gaping out at you, like I did.
2. Raoul’s Restaurant, 180 Prince Street, Soho
A French bistro, with – trust me – the best French fries in the city. This place always has a great buzz about it and there’s even a fortune-teller outside the ladies room, so while you’re queuing for the loo you can pass the time being told you’ll meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger…
3. The Tribeca Grill, 375 Greenwich Street
Fab restaurant, mid-priced, and owned by none other than Robert De Niro himself. Great for movie buffs as there’s all sorts of memorabilia from his films plastering the walls, so you’ll find yourself eating your burger with Raging Bull glowering back at you. Be warned though; just because De Niro owns the place doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll be checking in your coat and asking you how you’re enjoying your stay. A mate of mine did actually think that, and ended up deeply disappointed.
4. Blue Fin, 1567 Broadway and Times Square
If you’re a Sex and the City fan, you might remember a scene where Big and Carrie meet for lunch and he tells her he’s getting married to Natasha. She then loses it and storms out as fast as her Jimmy Choos will carry her, and really, would you blame the girl? Anyway, that was all shot here in Blue Fin.
Achingly cool and full of be-suited, moneyed-types at the bar who can be found checking out the talent, particularly on a Friday night. Great for singles but not so great if you’re on a date, mainly because there’s a high chance you could meet someone else at the bar while you’re there. After all, this is New York, and anything is possible…
Touristy Must-Dos
1. The Staten Island Ferry
As the name suggests, this connects Manhattan with nearby Staten Island. The ferry goes from the Whitehall terminal in downtown Manhattan to the St. George terminal on Staten Island approximately every half hour, so you’re never waiting for too long. It’s been called one of the great short journeys in the world and it’s easy to see why. Not only do you get to see the whole sweeping skyline in all its soaring majesty, but you get a fantastic view of the Statue of Liberty too. By the way, there’s now a massive fundraising campaign on to restore the statue and their slogan is, ‘the grand old lady, who welcomed millions to America, now needs a little help herself.’ Break your heart, wouldn’t it?
2. The Empire State Building
Need I say more? Familiar to us all, and particularly anyone who bawled their way through An Affair to Remember or Sleepless in Seattle. Best done on a clear night, when the city spreads out beneath you like a magical, starry carpet. To be avoided if it’s cloudy, or else trust me, you’ll barely be able to see your own hand in front of you.
3. Central Park
Great for a Sunday morning stroll to see where real Noo Yowkers go to unwind, jog, walk their dogs, and even ride horses. Check out Strawberry Fields, a shrine dedicated to John Lennon, not far from the Dakota Building where he lived. In the summer, you can catch some world-class outdoor theatre when Shakespeare in the Park season starts, and in winter there’s nothing more romantic than a meandering carriage ride around the North Meadow. So what’s not to love?
PERSONALLY, I BLAME MY FAIRY GODMOTHER
Claudia Carroll
The fairytale ending was just the beginning…
Jessie Woods absolutely believes in fairytale endings. So
would you if you had a recession-proof career as a daredevil
TV host, a palatial pink mansion, and the dream boyfriend.
But, quicker than you can say Cinderella, her life falls to
pieces and suddenly her prince isn’t quite so charming,
her party-loving friends disappear and even her faithful
friend Visa no longer loves her…
Utterly heartbroken and jobless, Jessie is forced back
home, to live with her stepmum and two evil stepsisters.
Is it time for her to give up on the dream – or will
Jessie learn that happy endings can come in the
strangest of places?
Claudia Carroll presents a tale of princes who turn into
ever-afters…
ISBN: 978-1-84756-208-1
£163;6.99
Out now
Acknowledgements
Huge thanks to Marianne Gunn O’Connor, amazing agent, amazing lady, amazing pal.
Thanks to Pat Lynch, for all his endless patience and tireless hard work.
Thanks to the incredible team at HarperCollins Avon, it’s such a pleasure to work with the ‘A’ team!
Special thanks to Claire Bord, for all her incredible thoughts and suggestions and for being the kind of editor you basically dream about working with.
Thanks to everyone else at Avon, especially Caroline Ridding, Claire Power, Charlotte Allen, Kate Bradley, Sammia Rafique and Keshini Naidoo. I owe you all such a debt of gratitude for everything you’ve done and are doing. And somehow chatting to you ladies never, ever feels like work!
Huge thanks to the legend that is Moira Reilly, what would any of us do without you? And to Tony Purdue too, who works so hard, here in Dublin.
Finally to all the readers out there who’ve been kind enough to write from far and wide to say nice things about my books; in these cash-strapped times, I feel constantly humbled that anyone would shell out their hard-earned cash to buy something that I’ve written.
But please know it means the world to me that you’re enjoying the books, and thank you.
About the Author
Claudia Carroll was born in Dublin, where she still lives. This is her eighth novel.
Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins authors.
Copyright
Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow Page 35
