Love Never Dies

by Loren Lockner

  “Suddenly Dad realized that part of her was in him, and he was in her. It was almost as if some sort of telepathy had instantly developed between the two. When she entered a room he didn’t have to turn around to instinctively know she was there; he could feel it by the warmth in his chest and the glow in his heart.”

  “You have got to be kidding,” said Paul disgustedly.

  “I wish I were, and it’s that unbreakable bond between my mother and father that finally killed him.”

  “What?” gasped Angie, her dark brown eyes widening.

  “It’s true. When I was twenty-four my mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. From the time of her diagnosis to her death, only a scant five weeks elapsed. My father had no time to prepare himself for her death and upon her passing sank into a deep depression. I myself was too aggrieved to understand that my father needed help. One day, four months later, when I returned home after an evening of drinking and carousing with my buddies in an effort to forget the memory of my mother’s frail face and wasted body, I saw my father hunched over in his comfortable old chair where he’d watch TV beside my mother when she was alive. He had aged ten years in those four months, his hair turning prematurely white even though he was only fifty years old.

  “He sat in the chair with a picture album spread open upon his knees and scanned photographs of our family. I remember kneeling down to watch his fingers caress a worn and cherished photograph of my mother; one that had been taken in 1967 right after he’d met her. The sadness in his eyes was so pathetic that I wanted to cry at his obvious despair.”

  “‘She’s gone now,’ he said to me, as if I didn’t realize my own mother was dead. ‘I know,’ I answered, and reached out a hand to pat his thin knee.”

  “‘There’s no more warmth,’ he moaned. ‘When she died she took half my soul with her and I can’t exist on this earth without her; without the other half of my soul. What am I to do son? Where am I to go and who am I to talk to? There’s no comfort in my life, my bed, or my heart. ’”

  The air hissed from Angie’s lungs but Seth continued, oblivious to her distress.

  “I remember I uttered some useless words of hollow comfort, but they did nothing for my father and the next day as I left him to go to work, I never realized it was the last time I’d see him alive. That evening, when I arrived home, I found him sitting in his office with his head drooping; a bullet-hole placed accurately through his skull. His note was brief and to the point. ‘When your mother took my soul, I didn’t realize it would take my life as well. I cannot live without her, so I must seek her.’ He was only fifty years old.”

  Angie gulped and whispered softly. “So you really believe your father had only half a soul when your mother died?”

  “Yes. I believe that when she died the essence of his soul went with her body into her grave or even perhaps to heaven. I’m not sure about the hereafter, that’s a whole other realm to contemplate within itself, but I do know my father was an empty shell after she died. Without his soul mate there was no reason for him to linger upon this earth any longer.”

  “So what you’re really saying,” said Paul, trying to lighten the somber mood and the expressions of horror mirrored on his sister and girlfriend’s faces, “is that having a soul mate has certain drawbacks?”

  “And certain benefits,” responded Seth. “But it’s not for the faint of heart. We all believe that when we love and marry we will love forever, living to ripe old age and dying within a couple of weeks of each other to rest side by side in a cemetery of our choice. That’s a wonderful fantasy, one I cherish myself; but you see, they didn’t bury my father in a churchyard next to my mother where he belonged. Because he committed suicide and was a Catholic, Dad couldn’t be buried inside the church walls.”

  “That’s terrible,” exclaimed Julia, watching Seth’s face narrow grimly at the remembrance of his father’s fate.

  “So what did you do? I can’t believe you couldn’t bury your father next to your mother! That’s ludicrous!” exclaimed Angie heatedly.

  “I had her disinterred and buried her and my father side by side in non-denominational cemetery. It was the least I could do in honor of their undying love. I would expect my children to do the same for me if that happened.”

  Paul seemed about to retort but the waitress arrived, laden with heavy plates of steaming Mexican food. The four ate quietly, Julia occasionally stealing furtive glances at Seth’s quiet serious face. The sad story of his mother penetrated her heart and she recalled some previously forgotten words he’d stated at the beginning of their love affair.

  “You’re my soul mate,” he had said, and suddenly Julia realized Seth expected her to share her soul with him, just like his mother and father had done so many years before.

  “So are you ready for my family’s Christmas Eve madness?” asked Paul, collecting the four gifts he’d wrapped just that afternoon and depositing them into a large red paper bag with handles.

  “I think so. I’ve been warned about what to expect,” replied Seth, adding another log to the fire he’d built only minutes before. It now burned brightly in the lovely living room, casting dancing shadows over the fragrant Christmas tree they’d erected only three days previously.

  “Remember that my Grandma Rose is nice, but nosy. She will be asking everything about you from your deodorant brand to if you ever had braces. I swear she works for the CIA.”

  Seth laughed. “I’ll be on my guard. So you’re off to Angie’s now?”

  “Yeah, I need to deliver the gifts for her folks and then head over later to Mom and Dad’s to finish putting together Mom’s exercise bike. Dad’s about ready to pull out his remaining hair. Julia’s coming here right?”

  “In about forty minutes.”

  “Don’t tell Angie what I got her. If you do I’ll kill you!”

  “I would never spoil another’s special moment. She’s one lucky lady and the diamond pendant is lovely.”

  “I like it too. Ah, Seth? About that stuff you said the other night. Angie’s been going on and on about it and, well, I’m just more than a little distressed about her fascination with your story.”

  “It’s not a story, it’s the truth.”

  “Yeah, well. I think she wants me to exchange our souls or something. Look, I love Angie and all, but I’m not sure I want to die if she kicks off.”

  “No one can force you to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with.”

  “But I’m not like you Seth; so intense and determined about everything.” He paused and gazed at his friend who poked the healthy glowing fire. “You’re planning to do it with Julia aren’t you?”

  “It’s crossed my mind.”

  “Does she want to?”

  Seth straightened and shrugged. “I haven’t asked her, but I get the feeling she would.”

  “Shouldn’t you get married first or something?”

  Seth grinned. “You know Paul; marriage is second to exchanging your soul and one doesn’t depend on the other. Marriage is for others—the lawyers, the children, the parents. A soul mate, that’s just for the couple, no one else. Don’t worry about it Paul. You know I would never do anything Julia didn’t want.”

  “It’s just that you’ve become so close so quickly.”

  “That’s true.” Seth sighed. “You know Paul that I would never intentionally hurt your sister.”

  “But if you become soul mates and you die, what’s to become of her?”

  “It’s not going to happen. I take my vitamins every morning,” Seth quipped, but Paul didn’t laugh.

  “Don’t joke around. She’s my twin sister you know. Sex is one thing, but this soul mate stuff is scary. I love Julia and just want what’s best for her. Please Seth; think long and hard before you make an irrevocable decision for her.”

  “You’re afraid I’ll leave her?”

  “No. I’m confident you wouldn’t do that. But everyone dies someday and Julia’s already involved beyond any chance of
recovery.” He snorted and shook is brown head. “Listen to me, preaching to you like I’m some sort of paranoid minister. I’ll see you tonight around six then.”

  “We’ll be there.”

  “I hope you like clam chowder, because if you don’t you’re in big trouble. It’s a Christmas Eve tradition at our house; fresh sourdough bread and New England clam chowder. If you don’t like it, I’m warning you as a favor, just force it down. It’s only once a year after all—but its Grandma’s recipe and she doesn’t take kindly to dissenters.”

  Seth grinned again. “Warning noted and palate prepared. See you tonight.” Paul shrugged into his wool overcoat and disappeared through the door whistling a poor rendition of Joy to the World. Seth swung into action. He had only thirty minutes to prepare.

  Julia didn’t bother to knock, confident Seth would have left the door unlocked for her, and she entered the warm hallway and hung her coat. The condo was peacefully quiet and filled with holiday cheer. She and Angie, under the benevolent gazes of their football-watching boyfriends, had decorated the flat with wreaths, tinsel, and red velvet bows. Yesterday, Julia noted, the men had erected a five-foot tall tree and placed roughly thirty ornaments among its fir branches glistening with tinsel and dozens of multi-colored flashing lights. She’d brought a few old wooden ornaments carved as Santas, elves, and angels to finish off the tree.

  “Seth?” she called. When no reply was forthcoming she ventured further into the cheery condo.

  “Seth?”

  It was then she noticed the glowing fire and involuntarily moved toward it, passing the stately tree to gaze at the makeshift mattress placed before the hearth, rose petals adorning its snowy white sheets. Seth had spelled out the simple words ‘I love you,’ in red blossoms and her heart swelled. She noticed an ice decanter near the fire housing the telltale foiled neck of an expensive bottle of champagne. It might be only one p.m. in the afternoon, but Seth had planned his seduction well.

  “So you’re here,” murmured his rich voice behind her and she turned and gaped at him. Seth was dressed only in faded blue jeans, his ebony hair brushed away from his forehead as his slate gray eyes ate her up.

  “Yes,” she managed. It didn’t matter how many times they had lain together, the impact of his physical being always profoundly affected her. After each time, Julia would swear that lovemaking could never get any better, but that was a lie. Each encounter was awesome in its intensity and passion, and she knew this time would be no different.

  Seth didn’t hesitate. “I want to give you my soul.” The soft words were shocking in their simplicity and directness and she dropped her forgotten carryall bag on the floor.

  “Alright.”

  Julia didn’t remember him moving, but suddenly Seth was so close she could smell the vanilla lotion he preferred as she gazed into his gray-flecked eyes. His head bent down, his sweet kiss removing any remaining doubts she might have had.

  Seth’s hands were slow and deliberate as they gently removed her white blouse and let it float to the floor. He propelled her to the dancing fire and in the flickering light of the hot flames he removed all her clothing and lowered her down among the rose petals.

  “I love you so much Julia. Please don’t be afraid because I’ll help you.”

  His reassuring words were followed by his lips trailing over her body and visiting those places he’d enjoyed so often before. His mouth lowered and she gasped, arching for him. He was almost lazy in his seduction and she wanted to beg, to cry out for him to hurry, but he was not to be rushed. His fingers and his mouth made sure she was ready and finally, an eon later he poised above her, suddenly taking her with sweet intensity.

  “Oh!” she cried out, and then begged him to never stop.

  “Never,” he whispered hoarsely, driving faster and then slowing, always staving off his climax as he waited for her, patiently anticipating the right moment. Finally she was close and Seth peered intently into her passion filled face.

  “Now!” he cried, “take my soul sweet love,” and Julia willed her life to him. A stabbing, heart-rending pain tore at her chest and she gasped in agony, vaguely aware that the same excruciating pain was mirrored upon his damp face.

  “Julia,” he gasped raggedly, as she whimpered. Then, as suddenly as it began, infusing warmth spread over her like an expensive brandy and soothed her torn heart. It flowed and surrounded the stricken muscle before refilling the empty space.

  “Ah,” she gasped in relief.

  “Much better,” Seth sighed, his powder gray eyes closing for a moment and savoring the encompassing warmth of her freely given soul. He opened them to find her dark green eyes gazing at him in wonder.

  “You’ve given me half your soul,” she whispered.

  “It’s true my love. Our souls are intertwined now, mingled together for eternity and never to be parted until death. Thank you my sweet, sweet girl. Thank you for your unrestrained gift and because of it, love will never die. We will live inside each other forever.” He lowered his suddenly weak body gently upon her and she cradled his fatigued frame, kissing his hair before sinking powerlessly into a numbing, healing sleep.

  For two hours they lay thus, the fire ebbing as the room finally chilled. It was the creeping cold that finally awakened him and Seth moved from his soft cushion, pulling her into the confines of his arm. She stirred and murmured his name, nestling against him like a purring cat.

  “Are you awake, love?” he asked.

  “Yes, yes, I think so.”

  “Any pain?”

  “None at all,” she answered. “And you?”

  “Not now, though for a second I was certain I’d expire inside your arms, my heart torn out by some merciless unseen knife.”

  “So your father was right?”

  “I never once believe he lied, though others in my family often scoffed at his story.”

  Julia kissed his neck drowsily. “I suppose we should take a shower. I have to drop off those clothes at the homeless shelter. It completely slipped my mind.”

  “No wonder,” joked Seth, sitting up and stretching his long arms. He gazed into the final glowing embers of the dying fire. “Come join me in the shower, love.” His eyes were tender as they rose and he draped the king-sized blanket around them before both moved as a unit to the distant bathroom.

  It was no different on the surface. They joked in the shower as he asked her how she got the scar on her elbow and they shared childhood bicycle crash stories and tales about family traditions.

  “So tonight, you will be subjected to the most ingrained tradition of the Morris household,” Julia teased.

  “I like traditions,” said Seth. “I miss them and would be happy to adopt yours.”

  “Well then, just a word of warning. I’m sure Paul warned you about Grandma’s clam chowder and fresh baked sourdough bread, but we also exchange one Christmas Eve gift tonight and you have to guess what’s inside. My father guesses a tie every single time.” Seth grinned, truly looking forward to supper at the Morris’.

  It was no different as they gathered their clothes and Julia blow-dried her hair. It was no different as he kissed her tenderly goodbye and agreed to meet her at her parent’s house in a couple hours. But the moment she stepped out of the condominium door, it became acutely different.

  Warmth tugged at her heart, increasing with every step as she moved away from the flat. Julia’s heart jolted as she saw Seth wave to her from the white-frosted window she and Angie had sprayed only that week. He was with her and in her, and the love-filled warmth reassured and promised. I walk with you forever it pledged and she hugged herself in her Taurus, knowing suddenly that Seth was always going to be there; no matter what.

  He watched her from the window as she strolled across the street and lowered herself into the midnight blue Taurus. She raised a hand to him and Seth lifted a hand in reply as she slowly drove off. It was then he noticed the dark gray sedan sitting under a droopy mulberry tree across the street. So
meone appeared to be watching the condo and Seth felt his heart quicken. It couldn’t be! Seth backed away, fingers discreetly pushing the curtains aside as he observed the sallow face framed in the car window. It was a face he did not recognize, yet instinctively dreaded, and he backed away cautiously from the window. Seth observed the man over the next fifteen minutes, memorizing every feature of the stalker’s thin face. He shouldn’t have been surprised when the phone rang, abruptly startling him from his focused scrutiny.

  “The Morris residence,” he answered tersely.

  “Seth, are you alright?” Julia’s voice held a high note of fear.

  “What do you mean?” he asked, already knowing she had tuned in to his nervous anxiety.

  “I had this strange feeling or premonition that something’s not right; that you’re worried or frightened about something.” She waited and a long pause ensued as he pondered the significance of her words.

  “My father was right then, it is true. We exchanged our souls and now you pick up on my moods. You’re not to worry, love; it’s nothing. Just anxiety about the day, that’s all.” Seth wasn’t sure she believed him, but managed to pacify her. “I’ll be there promptly at five. I love you sweet lady,” he said, and rang off.

  

  The phone call was desperate and abrupt. “There’s a dark silver sedan, California license plate HGJ672 parked in front of my condo. It’s a Lexus, recent model, with a sun roof. The man in the driver’s seat is sallow-faced and brown haired, wearing a blue sweater. I can’t see much more than that. I think my cover may be compromised.” He listened a while to the reassuring words, not believing any of them, and interrupted. “I want it checked out and I want it checked out now. There’s a lot at stake here.”

  The monotone words issued reassurance again, and he shook his dark head in frustration. “Now, within twenty-four hours! Call me back on my cell phone,” and he dictated the number even though he knew the other party had it.

  Chapter 4