Love Never Dies

by Loren Lockner

  Simon didn’t reply, only pulling the sheet over his nakedness as he waited among the tumbled covers for her next assault.

  “Those are Seth’s initials.”

  “And mine as well,” he said wearily.

  “What?”

  “His name was Seth Michael Hayes, mine is Simon Mitchell Hayes. We have the same initials.”

  “How convenient!”

  “Yes,” he said deliberately. “It was.”

  “Who are you?” she whispered, her heart suddenly constricting as she struggled for breath and control.

  “The man who loves you.”

  “And which man is that?” she asked raggedly, the truth striking her like a bolt of lightning. There had been no twin of Seth. Simon was Seth and his guilty eyes didn’t bother to deny it.

  Julia screamed and tossed the nearest item she could find at his traitorous head, the remote hitting him squarely upon the nose, causing the blood to spurt into his suddenly attentive hand.

  “Please Julia, calm down,” he begged, trying to staunch the sudden flow of blood staining his fingers.

  “Calm down? Calm down Simon, or is it Seth, or who is it exactly? You played me for a fool!”

  He moved then, shooting off the bed, totally heedless of his nakedness or the dreadful scar that disfigured his once smooth back. Another thick cruel blemish ran the length of his thigh, showing the rough horizontal cross scars of desperate surgery. Simon hadn’t underestimated the extent of his injuries. He grabbed her shoulders roughly and willed her to meet his eyes. Julia’s head jerked in denial, her limbs frantically struggling like a trapped bird to escape his strong grasp as he clutched her shoulders and shook her fiercely, trying to make her understand and demanding she listen.

  “It’s true Julia. It’s Seth. Please, please listen to me!”

  She flung herself away from him and crawled across the expanse of the floor, desperate to shut out the image of her once dead lover. He let her escape to the corner, where Julia sat huddled, her knees clenched tightly in her arms as she cried tears of denial and agony. Simon methodically found his briefs and jeans, and once again decently clad, lowered himself by her trembling form. He reached out an arm and rested a hand upon her shaking shoulder, incapable of making her hysterical sobbing cease.

  Julia never knew how much time elapsed before she was able to raise her blurry eyes to his adjacent form. He sat perfectly still and uncomfortable upon the thinly carpeted floor, crying soundlessly, the tears spilling over his lean cheeks as he struggled to control his own sobs.

  “Simon?” she asked tentatively, her anger and grief suddenly dissipated. He was incapable of answering and she rounded her arms over his shaking torso and drew him to her. She sat that way for a long time, smoothing his hair and muttering incoherent endearments to her poor lost love. Her heart suddenly expanded, the burning soul swelling and bursting within, until the full force of his essence was once again inside of her. She gasped in amazement as Simon lifted his tear-stained face.

  “Do you know me now love?” There was no question who now sat beside her. Only Seth’s soul could burn and torture her heart as his did. Only Seth could fill her up, every fiber of her being resonating with his essence and love.

  “Oh Seth!” Suddenly she was weeping again, only this time in joy.

  She was violently hauled back onto the tumbled covers of their temporary bed where Seth cradled her as he swore explicitly under his breath. It was so very unlike him that she would have laughed if she could have possibly controlled her tears. She understood he was seeking to deny and retaliate against all the pain his passing had caused.

  Finally, when they became calmer, he stroked her damp hair before sitting up and gazing down at her.

  “It’s high time for the truth,” he announced, pulling her up beside him and propping some supportive pillows behind her weary back as she wilted against him.

  “Yes,” she agreed, waiting patiently, not getting enough of the lean lines of his face or the deep gray of his fatigued eyes. Deep lines furrowed his brow and the sides of his nostrils. They were lines she’d swear hadn’t been there before this moment.

  He swallowed deeply and began. “My real name is Steven Micah Hamilton and the details I gave you over a year ago regarding my background were pretty much true. I was an only child, having only my younger cousin Lucas as a companion while our parents pursued their mobile careers in civil engineering. It’s true I lived on the east coast, in Britain and Canada, and did own a condominium on Lake Ontario which I sold recently. I had your brother Paul deposit half that money into the trust account set up by your grandfather.”

  She gasped but allowed him to continue.

  “What I revealed about Joe Alletti, Mandy Gaskill, and Angus O’Leary was all true, except for one crucial fact. I’d discovered the money laundering myself, months before I infiltrated the firm. I took the assumed name of Seth Hayes and Angus suggested I create a back-up personality to revert to if something went wrong. I was vain enough to want to use my own initials. Basically a volunteer for the police, I was convinced I was doing my civil duty by aiding them, because you see, Taylor Reynolds, the witness Alletti killed was a good friend of mine. It was he, in fact, who stole Marcie from me and suggested the whole idea of having an evil twin as a backup. Somehow Tierney’s group learned I was not only undercover, but discovered I had a cousin, who luckily Mandy had stashed away in the Yukon only a week previous. Both she and my identities were uncovered, but strangely enough, Joe Alletti accepted the story about identical twin brothers and sought to rub out the pair of us. This worked to my advantage in a sense. Only Angus and I knew about Steven Hamilton and a bizarre idea formulated between us. The original plan was to fake my death here in Santa Barbara, while I, using another assumed identity, hid out until the trial. I wasn’t partial to the idea, since it meant leaving you, so Angus suggested we go into hiding as a couple. I was nearly convinced and about to reveal the true reason for my presence in Santa Barbara when Adam Gable struck. Stan was convinced Adam had returned to Stockton to get instructions from Alletti’s gang. Instead, when we least expected it, he and a partner struck.”

  “The accident in January,” Julia whispered, shivering as if cold.

  “Yes, Stan had been tailing me as he always did, when an SUV swung out of its lane and pulled behind me, firing an AK-47 through my side window. I ducked, but not before the bullet entered my back through the driver’s seat. I slammed on the brakes and the car careened and skid in the slick conditions caused by the heavy fog. The SUV continued down the road and I managed to drag myself from the Jeep Cherokee seconds before Adam’s partner abandoned a semi-truck loaded with petroleum into my 4x4. I crawled off into the bushes, but not before exploding pieces of my car and the semi rained down upon me, impaling me and hurling a sharp piece of shrapnel into my scalp.”

  Julia winced and lightly touched the bleached lock of his hair. “And then,” she urged.

  “I don’t remember much, but know I have to thank Stan for saving my life.”

  “Your back and leg,” whispered Julia, finally understanding the true extent of his injuries. Simon leaned forward so she could examine his back and the horrible disfiguring scar. She ran her fingers lightly over the raised white tissue and fought back tears.

  Simon eased back against the hard motel pillows and continued. “I was in a coma for three days, not realizing Angus had arranged for me to be whisked off to Las Vegas of all places. He stashed me in a clinic there under the name of Jeff Stone. To further protect me, he related to Stan, my contact in Santa Barbara, that I died in surgery since we’d never figured out where the leak originated. Stan was bitter since he took his job very seriously and volunteered to keep an eye on you. He wasn’t the only one who felt guilty I guess. When I woke up, I was disoriented and in extreme pain. I remained numbed by painkillers for two weeks as they performed three surgeries on my leg and back. By the time I became coherent, I realized you believed I was dead and desper
ately sought to reassure you by sending out signals to you to hold fast.”

  “When my heart burned and felt you lacked all of your soul to travel to the hereafter?”

  “I didn’t know that’s the message I sent, I just wanted you to hold on, not to…”

  “Do what your father did?”

  “Yes.” He sighed deeply and took her slender hand. “Oh, the pain you must have felt, the agony. I never meant to hurt you so.”

  “I know. Once I dreamed you were locked in a sterile white building crying out to me. Could that have been the hospital?”

  Seth looked strangely at her. “Maybe… could I have possibly sent you that image?” His beautiful gray eyes clouded and she touched his hand reassuringly.

  “So then what happened?”

  “With the testimony of a now present Simon Hayes, Joe Alletti was in big trouble even without the disk. I was shuffled off to another safe hiding place in July until after the trial. I protested vehemently, because what kind of life was this anyway, with no work, no family, or woman I loved? Then Mandy let it slip that Joe Alletti had put out a contract on my life, as well as Seth’s girlfriend who he believed held the disk the authorities needed to put him away for life. Only two days before my ‘death’ I stashed it in the back of your sketch, certain that was the only safe place for it. It behooved Joe to get rid of you, even though I was the only one who knew you were completely in the dark about the whole operation as well as my duplicity.”

  “You only wanted to keep me safe didn’t you?”

  “And a fine job I made of it!”

  “Simon, I mean Seth. Actually it’s Steven isn’t it?”

  “Yes, but I haven’t gone by that name for so long you can call me what you please.”

  “My darling.” The joy on his face was worth a hundred times the endearment. “So you had placed the disk in the sketch all along. Why didn’t you just come and remove it?”

  “That was the original plan. But when I saw your sad and forlorn face at the wedding…”

  “The wedding!”

  “I hid in the foyer to watch the ceremony. It was the least I could do for Paul, who’d been such a good friend to me.”

  “My heart burned so during the service. It was as if you were there with me. And you were!”

  “I wished it were my wedding. Anyway, I couldn’t leave you after that and told Angus I was going to enter into your life as my twin. He was livid, indicating that since I’d chosen not to adhere to the program I no longer could depend on his protection. He said I’d turned into a rogue, jeopardizing the mission and your life. Of course, Stan Garten, always a bit of a renegade, never halted his surveillance. And, for all his blustering, I knew I still had Angus and Mandy’s support.”

  “I’d like to meet this Stan. Anyway, you could have taken the disk any time you know.”

  “Yes, but it was in your bedroom, and I knew I couldn’t enter a room with you and a bed without being in big trouble. And, since I’d gotten the tattoo right before the accident, never realizing you’d actually seen the sketch, I was afraid you would doubt my motivations if you saw it too soon after we became lovers. Wouldn’t it appear strange that Simon had an old tattoo with both our initials? I suspect Paul showed it to you?”

  “He found it with the wedding set when he tried to move the furniture.”

  “My two big special secrets.” His tone was self-mocking. “Here I was only worried you’d think I was infatuated with you way before the proper brother of Seth should have been, but you already knew Seth had gotten the tattoo. How did you know that by the way?”

  “Connie told me.”

  “What?”

  “She observed you on the promenade the day of the accident entering a tattoo parlor. After I saw the sketch, I put two and two together and suspected you’d gotten a tattoo to show how much you loved me. And I was right.”

  “Yes,” he whispered. “You were right.” He leaned over to kiss her, but she pushed him away.

  “You have to answer one other question before you touch me again, Mr. Seth Simon Steven Hamilton. How did you control the…” she hesitated, not sure how to put it into words.

  “The burning that always accompanied our mingled souls?”

  “Yes.”

  “I could barely do it. You indicated you felt my presence often, and many times I watched you touch that special spot over your heart where our two souls are entwined. I suspect you didn’t even know how often you reached for the comfort of that spot. I had to clamp down hard upon all my emotions every time we met. When you came up with the idea of the twin brother’s souls somehow being connected like yours was to Seth’s, I could gradually release all those pent-up feelings, which caused your heart to burn, just like mine always did.”

  “That’s why it felt so right between us?”

  “That’s why, sweet girl.”

  “I love you Steven.”

  “And I you,” he answered, finally allowing himself to unleash the full power of his pent-up love with a single devastating kiss. Her body and heart burned and soared, the tension and agony of the past few months dissipating in the course of a single kiss. As his body joined hers, Julia wondered how she could have ever not known Simon was her soul mate. She would never be so blind again.

  Chapter 12

  It was 5:30 the next morning before Julia and Simon checked out of the hotel. They had planned to scoot right to Santa Barbara, but after their intense conversation and a wonderful session of lovemaking, the energy evaded them. Later that afternoon Julia made a phone call to Connie, indicating she needed a substitute for an indefinite period because of a family crisis, after which they’d both slipped into the sheltering cocoon of sleep, their high-strung nerves not allowing them to move further than the shelter of their bed. Simon awakened her at five a.m. to pack and shower.

  The previous evening, in an effort to keep her sanity, Julia declared to her lover that she would refer to him as Simon for now; partly for his own protection but mostly because he as a person really existed for her. And, after all, it really didn’t matter what she called him because she knew he was her one and only soul mate. Simon readily agreed to keep his alias for a while longer, just thankful she’d forgiven him his deception.

  So, Julia solemnly donned the wig and obscuring sunglasses as Simon crammed the still-damp baseball cap over his dark strands. He’d dressed once more in the nearly dry clothes and now fiddled with the windshield wipers on the sporty LeBaron. Simon grinned at her wolfishly and openly leered as she dabbed some blush on her too-pale cheeks. His hand stole to her knee and gave it an erotic squeeze as he revved the engine and pulled out of the motor lodge’s parking lot in the dim light of the encroaching morning, his fingers moving upward over the denim-covered leg.

  “Just keep your eyes on the road bucko, and your hand where I can see it!” She laughed at being able to tease him once more, secretly delighting in his straying hand.

  “Oh, alright,” he growled good-naturedly. “Let’s get back to Santa Barbara and finish this business then.”

  The 101 was extremely crowded as they headed toward Santa Barbara that early Monday morning, and often they idled at a complete standstill on the congested freeways leading into LA. At seven a.m. Simon stopped long enough to order coffee and egg burgers at a drive-through and they took fifteen minutes to eat and use the facilities before heading back upon the road. Simon clearly wanted to visit her apartment first, to retrieve the disk, but Julia felt more cautious, worried Adam might guess their plans.

  Julia’s small two bedroom flat was located near the Presidio in a modest middle-class neighborhood. She loved her apartment with its sunny kitchen, impressionistic prints, and cozy fireplace, and thoroughly enjoyed the year spent with Angie before her roommate had married her brother Paul. Strangely, it had been maintaining and imbuing the apartment with her own personal touches that had given Julia some sort of solace after Seth’s apparent death. She stole a glance at him. Simon drove intently
, his hands firmly gripping the wheel of the black LeBaron, and she wondered what he was thinking. In delightful response to her probing thoughts, she felt a warm tingle tease her heart as Simon cast a sideways glance at the woman he loved and smiled gently. His right hand left the steering wheel and grasped her hand, giving it a warm squeeze.

  “How are you doing?”

  “I’m frightened,” she said honestly.

  “Hopefully this will all be over soon. Promise me you’ll hang tough girl.”

  “I will,” she asserted, as the traffic slowed once again.

  Over forty minutes had passed before Montecito emerged and Simon slowed as they headed toward Santa Barbara proper. The huge city golf course appeared to her right; and on the left, the crashing waves of the ocean in the Santa Barbara channel dared any brave soul to venture into its gray waters as it thrashed the ragged shoreline. The early morning was foggy and countless times Simon checked his rearview mirror in an effort to convince himself they weren’t being followed.

  “So the disk was in the back of the sketch all this time,” declared Julia as Simon changed lanes.

  “It was the only safe place I knew of, believing my drawers would be searched. I also could rest assured that of all my possessions the sketch would be one you’d keep if anything happened to me. It killed me to pretend I didn’t know where it was, but believe me when I say I always tried to protect you.”

  “I understand,” said Julia softly, squeezing the hand that now rested on her knee. “You said you’ve been watching over me for while?”

  “Yes. After my arrival, I took to following you even though I knew that it was driving Stan insane. I remember one Sunday in particular, you’d strayed to the cemetery and sat down at Seth’s plot, replacing the old dried-up red roses from the week before with fresh ones. You spoke to him, I mean me, and I can’t relay how much it tore me up Julia. I wanted to throw caution to the wind and march over that very minute and reassure you everything was alright. Your life had not disintegrated as you’d thought, but I couldn’t do it. I stood there and cried Julia, hidden under a huge maple tree, watching you commune with me. I’d made a promise to Angus and Mandy to keep a low profile and I had to do as they asked. It was so hard to block my feelings and particularly my soul, which strove each time I glimpsed you, to reach out and gather you to me.