Snowbound: Miracle Marriage / Christmas Eve: Doorstep Delivery

by Sarah Morgan

Stella hid her surprise. She knew that Daniel’s childhood hadn’t been happy, but she hadn’t known that Christmas had been particularly bad.

  The sudden tension in Daniel’s shoulders made Stella want to question exactly what Daniel’s Christmases had been like as a child. In all the time they’d been together, he had never mentioned Christmas to her. In fact, he’d said very little about his childhood, except to intimate that his parents’ relationship had been grim. Whenever she’d tried to probe, he’d changed the subject.

  ‘This “stuff” you’re talking about…’ Daniel held Posy close ‘…we can do some of that while your dad is away, if you want to. You just have to tell me what you want to do.’

  ‘You mean that?’ Alfie’s face brightened. ‘Can we go and buy the tree? Dad was going to take us to the forest this afternoon but then he didn’t have enough time and he said it would have to wait.’

  Daniel nodded. ‘We can go and get a tree.’ He gave Stella a faint smile. ‘Might be easier to be outdoors than indoors with these two.’

  ‘Don’t you believe it,’ she murmured under her breath, but Alfie was already fizzing with excitement.

  ‘The forest will be so cool after all that snow. Can Stella come with us?’

  Daniel looked at Stella and she knew he was thinking the same thing that she was thinking. That neither of them wanted to go on a trip together. And neither of them wanted to disappoint Alfie.

  Daniel gave a lopsided smile. ‘Will you come?’

  She ought to say no. After what had happened between them this week, they needed to spend as little time together as possible.

  ‘Pleeease,’ Alfie begged, his eyes wide with hope and his arms full of kittens. ‘Please come, Stella. It won’t be any fun if you don’t come.’

  ‘How can I say no?’ Stella gave a weak smile and the tiny kitten she was holding climbed up her jumper and rubbed itself against her face. ‘It sounds like fun.’ If one’s definition of fun was spending an afternoon doing something guaranteed to cause significant mental anguish.

  ‘Great. Then you can spend the rest of the day with us and help us decorate it.’ Alfie was looking much more cheerful. ‘We can toast marshmallows and watch a Christmas movie on the television, like we did two Christmases ago.’

  Two Christmases ago when her heart had been breaking and she’d cuddled Alfie, wondering why she’d had to choose between the man she wanted and the family she longed for.

  Stella swallowed. Could she spend the day with Daniel? She felt as though someone was tying ropes around her, preventing her escaping from a situation that was becoming more and more difficult. ‘We’ll see.’

  ‘Don’t say “We’ll see”. That always means “No”.’ Alfie looked at her pleadingly. ‘Promise you’ll come and help us decorate it afterwards.’

  Stella’s mouth moved without any intervention from her brain. ‘I promise.’

  ‘Great.’ Bouncing with excitement, Alfie turned back to the house. ‘I’ll just put Mary and Joseph inside, then I’ll take Gabriel from you.’

  Stella looked down at the kitten in her arms. ‘This is Gabriel?’

  ‘Yes. You can tell because of the black splodge on his ear.’ Alfie darted inside the house and Stella was suddenly painfully conscious of Daniel watching her.

  Perhaps she should have said no. She should have made some excuse. Choosing a Christmas tree with Daniel and two gorgeous children was going to be something close to torture.

  But it was illogical to think about what might have been when she knew it never would have been. That was why they’d parted, wasn’t it? Because they both wanted different things.

  He was looking after Patrick’s children because he was fiercely loyal to his brother, not because he had a secret wish to be a father.

  ‘Sorry.’ His tone was rough and apologetic. ‘I didn’t intend you to be roped into helping.’

  ‘I love the children.’ The conversation was stilted. Polite and formal. They were behaving like strangers, not two people who had been lovers. Two people who had shared everything.

  ‘I thought if I took them to buy a tree, it might take their minds off their dad leaving. And I think I’m probably better at doing outdoor stuff than indoor stuff.’ Daniel gave a rueful glance at the red marks on the wall and Stella smiled.

  ‘That will come off with a good scrub. And I think it’s a great idea to take them to the forest to get the tree. Once you’ve decorated the house, they’ll be too excited about Christmas to think too much about Patrick. Christmas routines always do that.’ She saw something flicker in his eyes and remembered what Alfie had said about Daniel’s experience of Christmas.

  But she had no idea what that was, and she had no opportunity to ask because Alfie reappeared and Patrick pulled up in the car.

  Stella hugged him, wished him luck on his trip and then retreated to the stable to dress in something suitable for an excursion to the forest in winter.

  Part of her wanted to back out of the trip, but she knew that if she did that Alfie would be disappointed and she didn’t want that to happen. She’d chosen to come back, she reminded herself. Patrick and the children were part of her life and Daniel was a part of their lives. If the only way she could cope with not being with him was to avoid him, she wasn’t doing very well, was she?

  The forest was like a winter playground and the children soon forgot about Patrick’s absence, enchanted by the volume of snow.

  ‘We haven’t had snow like this for years. No, Posy—don’t take your boots off.’ Daniel bent down and scooped her up, shaking his head in frustration. ‘You can’t walk in the snow in bare feet.’

  ‘You remembered boots and a coat.’ Stella retrieved the boots. ‘I’m impressed.’

  ‘Posy hates her boots,’ Alfie told them, scooping snow into a ball. Then he gave an impish smile and lobbed the snow straight at Daniel.

  Shaking snow out of his hair, Daniel carefully handed a startled Posy to Stella and then turned on his nephew. Alfie gave a squeal of delighted anticipation and sprinted up the snowy path, slipping and sliding until Daniel caught up with him. They both tumbled in the snow, rolling and play-fighting until both of them were covered in clumps of freezing white powder.

  ‘Me, too.’ Posy wriggled in her arms and Stella deftly slid the child’s feet back into her boots and let her run towards the others.

  For a moment Stella just stood still, enjoying the peace of her surroundings. The air was crisp and cold and she could smell wood smoke.

  It was a perfect winter day.

  A couple walked passed her, smiling towards Daniel and Alfie who were still rolling. ‘That’s how a father is supposed to behave.’ The woman laughed and Stella managed a smile.

  ‘Yes.’ She wondered what Daniel would say if he’d heard that comment.

  That the last thing in the world he wanted was commitment and the responsibility of children.

  But he was taking his responsibility seriously, wasn’t he?

  Correctly assuming that the children would be unsettled by their father leaving, he’d immediately arranged a trip.

  Stella watched, suddenly confused. It wasn’t that he didn’t love the children, because he did. And it wasn’t that he wasn’t good with them, because he was.

  He didn’t feel he’d be a good father. But why?

  ‘You’re looking very serious.’ Daniel was standing in front of her and she hadn’t even noticed. She was about to reply when she saw the wicked gleam in his eyes and then gasped as he lifted a huge lump of snow and stuffed it down the neck of her jumper.

  ‘Oh! You…’ Gasping at the sudden cold and trying to shake the snow out of her jumper, Stella shot him a warning glare. ‘I’ll get my own back.’

  ‘I can’t wait.’ He spread his arms wide, inviting her retaliation, and Stella gave him a slow smile.

  ‘It’s going to come when you least expect it.’

  ‘Sweetheart, I’m shivering with terror.’ He was teasing her now and the combination of
laughing blue eyes and rough, dark jaw made him impossibly sexy.

  ‘You will be shivering, Daniel,’ Stella promised, shaking the last of the snow from the inside of her jumper and trying to subdue the shivers in her own body. Shivers that had nothing to do with the cold. ‘Trust me. By the time I’ve finished, you’ll be shivering.’

  Alfie danced on the spot, laughing and jumping to keep warm. ‘Can we go and choose our tree now?’

  They walked along the path until they reached the clearing. A fire was burning in the centre and trees of various sizes had been piled together.

  ‘This one?’ Daniel strode up to the nearest tree but Alfie looked horrified.

  ‘Too small.’ He sprinted to the far end of the clearing and waved his arms madly. ‘This one.’

  Daniel heaved it upright and stared at the top in disbelief. ‘This tree will never fit indoors.’

  ‘It’s perfect.’ Alfie caught his arm. ‘Can we have it, Uncle Daniel? Pleeease?’

  Stella watched with amusement as Daniel made a valiant effort to resist Alfie’s superior persuasive technique.

  ‘Alfie, this is just too large for your house. It’s—’

  ‘If I can have this tree I’ll be so good,’ Alfie coaxed. His cheeks were pink with the cold and he was so excited he could barely stand still. ‘I’ll go to bed when you say, I’ll help with Posy and if you make any mistakes I won’t tell Dad.’

  ‘Done. That’s an offer too good to turn down.’ A smile in his eyes, Daniel dug his wallet out of his pocket. ‘Where do I pay?’

  ‘That man over there—but you have to carry the tree to the car.’

  ‘But that’s miles away. Don’t they deliver? I don’t suppose my brother wants his four-wheel drive full of pine needles.’

  ‘That’s the best bit,’ Alfie said happily. ‘The car smells like Christmas for months. Dad is always complaining.’

  ‘In that case, let’s go for it. Anything that winds my brother up is fine by me. And if I discover that he put a dent in my Porsche on the way to the airport, I’ll volunteer to transport everyone’s Christmas trees in his vehicle.’

  Alfie giggled. ‘Dad would go demented.’

  ‘That’s the general idea.’ Daniel blew on his hands to warm them. ‘Come on, let’s get this tree home before we all freeze.’

  How had he managed to land the job of decorating the house for Christmas?

  What did he know about a family Christmas? Nothing.

  Daniel manoeuvred the tree through the front door of Patrick’s barn and shifted it upright in the corner of the huge living room. ‘Here?’

  He looked at the excitement in both the children’s faces and felt something shift inside him.

  He’d blocked out almost all his memories of childhood Christmases, but he was entirely sure that his face had never looked as bright and happy as Alfie’s.

  Christmas had been a battlefield, with carnage strewn where there should have been presents and goodwill.

  ‘Uncle Daniel? You’re looking all funny.’ Alfie peered at him through the folds of his brightly coloured scarf. ‘Are you OK?’

  ‘I’m OK.’ Daniel cleared his throat and pushed his way through the black thoughts that rolled across his brain like menacing stormclouds. ‘Let’s get this tree sorted out. Is this a good place for it?’

  Alfie dropped the scarf on the floor and nodded his approval. ‘It looks good.’

  ‘It looks big.’ Stella was laughing as she removed Posy’s hat and coat and Daniel glanced towards her and found he couldn’t look away. Her blonde hair slid in a smooth, shiny sheet over her coat and her cheeks were flushed from the cold. He looked at her lips and knew that if he kissed them now, they’d be cold. And he also knew they wouldn’t stay cold for long. The heat the two of them managed to generate would melt the polar icecap.

  Her gaze met his and he saw her smile falter as her thoughts slid in the same direction as his.

  ‘Dad got the decorations out for us.’ Alfie dragged a huge box across the room. ‘You have to do the lights first. Stella? You’re not concentrating!’ His excitement was infectious and Stella turned back to him, her cheeks even pinker than they’d been a few moments earlier.

  ‘I hope these lights work.’ She helped him unravel the lights, chatting easily about what he’d been doing at school and his part in the nativity play. Posy was popping bubble wrap and giggling with delight.

  Daniel had a strange feeling of detachment—as if he were watching them from the other side of a pane of glass.

  Was this how Christmas was supposed to feel?

  Aware that Stella was looking at him, he forced a smile. ‘Are all those bulbs working?’

  ‘Yes.’ Stella stood up. Her cheerful red skirt had ridden up her thighs, exposing a mouthwatering length of leg encased in shimmering black.

  Devoured by lust, Daniel made a frustrated sound in his throat and turned away. ‘Where do you want me to put these lights?’

  ‘All the way round the tree.’ Alfie was dancing with excitement. ‘Start at the top.’

  Stella handed him the end of the lights and their hands brushed.

  ‘Did you get a shock or something, Uncle Dan?’ Alfie was concerned. ‘You sort of jumped.’

  Putting a safe distance between himself and Stella, Daniel started winding the lights around the tree. ‘I didn’t get a shock.’

  ‘But you jumped. I saw you.’

  ‘I didn’t jump.’

  ‘But—’

  Daniel sent him an exasperated look. ‘Are these lights where you want them?’

  Alfie stepped back a few paces, crunching a bauble underfoot. ‘Oops.’ He looked down guiltily. ‘I’ve broken it.’

  ‘I’ll clean it up. Make sure Posy doesn’t go near it.’ Stella hurried towards the kitchen and Daniel had a feeling she’d been glad of the excuse to leave.

  His instincts were confirmed when she carefully brushed up the broken pieces of bauble and then made her excuses.

  ‘Now you’ve got the tree in place, I really ought to go.’ Her tone was bright and cheerful, but Daniel wasn’t fooled. She was finding this as difficult as he was.

  ‘No!’ Alfie was appalled by that suggestion. ‘You can’t go now. You promised you’d help decorate the tree. You have to stay for marshmallows and we’re going to watch The Grinch.’

  ‘Sounds like fun.’ Stella stooped and hugged the child and Daniel watched her pretty face soften into a smile as Alfie hugged her back.

  If ever a woman was born to be a mother, it was Stella.

  Which was why he’d broken it off, he reminded himself grimly. Because Stella was a woman who needed children around her and being with him would have robbed her of that chance.

  ‘Please stay,’ Alfie mumbled, his face buried in her jumper, but Stella shifted him away from her and shook her head.

  ‘It’s sweet of you to invite me but I have a million and one things to do. I’m going to be a bit busy over the next few days, but if you need anything, you can bang on my door. That tree looks fantastic. Keep up the good work. And make sure Posy doesn’t go near those baubles.’ Without looking at Daniel, she hurried out of the room and he heard the door slam shut.

  Stella curled up in the stable, watching a Christmas movie and sipping hot chocolate, but somehow the evening didn’t have any of the pleasure that it should have had.

  She kept thinking of the children, decorating the tree. Of the fun of making Christmas special for them. Of Daniel.

  Angry with herself, she flicked through the channels, trying to find something that would hold her attention.

  If she’d stayed there it just would have made things worse. It was bad enough still being in love with Daniel, without having the extra torture of playing house with him.

  Finding nothing to interest her on television, she opened her laptop and accessed the internet. She’d finish her Christmas shopping. At least that would be another job done.

  Checking the list she’d made earlier, she pul
led her credit card out of her purse.

  The great thing about internet shopping, she thought to herself as she clicked away, was that you didn’t have to battle for a parking space and elbow your way through crowds.

  Halfway through the evening her mother rang, full of excitement and stories about her world cruise.

  As she listened, Stella felt a lump building in her throat. Her parents had been happily married for fifty years and yet her mother had managed to pick herself up after her father’s sudden death and build a new life for herself. She hadn’t sat at home feeling sorry for herself.

  In fact, she’d sold the house, bought herself a little flat in a retirement complex and used the rest of the money to travel.

  Feeling humbled by her mother’s drive and determination, Stella hung up and promised herself that she was going to stop being so pathetic.

  She was going to enjoy this Christmas, no matter what it took.

  By the following day, Daniel was stressed, exhausted and feeling inadequate for the first time in his life.

  Posy had woken five times during the night and ended up in his bed where she’d wriggled restlessly, ensuring that he had no sleep at all. At five o’clock he’d given up trying, and had left her in the bed while he went to put the kettle on.

  It was dark outside as Daniel flicked on the kettle and leaned on the Aga to warm himself.

  The kitchen looked as though it had taken a direct hit from a rocket launcher. There were streaks of red on the wall from Posy’s artistic explorations and the remains of the previous night’s pasta dinner were still stuck to the saucepan in the sink.

  ‘Want Daddy.’ Posy was standing in the doorway, her thumb in her mouth, her other hand clutching the blanket she always slept with.

  Daniel glanced at his watch through eyes blurred with sleep. It was barely five-thirty. ‘This is worse than being a junior doctor,’ he muttered. ‘Don’t you ever sleep?’

  ‘Want Daddy.’ Her face crumpled and Daniel put down his coffee and crossed the kitchen. ‘Honestly? So do I. But we’re going to have to make do, baby girl. So what is it you normally do at this time of the morning? Draw on the walls? Throw food?’ It was a wonder his brother managed to function, he thought to himself as he scooped Posy up and carried her into the sitting room.