End Note

by Sonya Loveday

  Murphy’s body trembled hard enough for both of us. “What in the hell just happened?” Her words were muffled and a whole lot cleaner than what I was thinking.

  I hugged her against me, fighting the urge to run my hands along her back. With each shuddering jolt, our bodies vibrated against one another. It was impossible to think straight. My intentions had slipped out of gear, going from protection to need in all of three seconds. There was no willing my body to go numb against the feel of Murphy pressed against me. I hoped she didn’t notice the all-too-prominent effect she had on me.

  “No idea. Are you okay? You hit the table pretty hard,” I answered, peering down at the top of her head, but she didn’t budge to look up at me.

  “Yes, just give me a second. I don’t think I can move right now with my entire body feeling like a big glob of hot wax,” she said as she tucked her face further into the crook of my neck.

  My hold on her relaxed, and I found myself sliding my hand up and down her back. Clearly, it was not attached to my brain. Murphy sighed deeply, releasing my shirt to slide her hands up my chest and push herself up enough to look down at me. My body stiffened under her as my heart went into overdrive. Holy-fuckin’-hell.

  I needed a fucking gold medal in restraint because looking up at Murphy with her eyes wide and her cheeks flushed was all I’d ever needed before from other girls. That look was my green light to reach out and take what they offered. Seeing it in Murphy’s eyes killed me because, out of all the girls I’d slept with, Murphy would be the one I wouldn’t be able to walk away from—the one I’d want to keep.

  A groan rumbled deep in my chest, and her eyes searched mine as she reached up and touched my face. “Jared, are you okay?”

  I forced myself to blink, erase the desire I knew she could see. “I’m good, Murphy.”

  I brought my hand up, palm resting against hers. Murphy’s fingers spread apart and mine slipped through, like they were meant to be together. Only inches separated us. I could lift myself up and kiss her, take what I wanted, and by the look in her eyes, she’d give it to me. And it killed me because I decided to act like the gentleman I was raised to be, instead of the hellion I’d always been.

  When I sat up, I moved her back until she had no choice but to scoot off my lap and sit beside me. When she was settled, I got up and turned on the light so I could check to see if she’d been hurt.

  The bus hit a smooth patch of road and, before I could check Murphy over, the guys came out of their bunks. With wide eyes, they tried to talk over each other.

  “What the hell was that?” Retro asked as he stumbled to the couch and dropped down on to it.

  “I thought we were gonna die!” Licks held onto the wall as if the floor still wasn’t stable.

  “Murphy, what happened?” Lars walked around Licks, kneeling down in front of her.

  When she looked up, Lars touched the side of her jaw, where a bright red spot bloomed.

  She sat back and clutched her hands together. “I have no idea. I just know that I’d made it just past your bunks, and then all hell broke loose. I went airborne and slammed into the table. Jared grabbed me, and we held on until the road smoothed out.”

  The bus rolled to a stop, and we all looked to each other. The bus driver hollered to everyone as he jogged down the length of the bus. “Are you all right? Had a tractor-trailer have a blow out right in front of me. He fishtailed, and I had to put the bus on the shoulder for a bit to keep from crashing us.”

  The driver looked shaken. His hand scrubbed down his face and clutched to his jaw. “Never in all my time on the road…”

  Murphy stood and gestured for the driver to head back to the front of the bus. “We’re fine. Fill me in on where we are and I’ll find a spot for us to park the bus for a little while.”

  “I’d appreciate that. I could use a couple of minutes and a bathroom break,” Jeff replied.

  “Everyone, okay?” Lars asked.

  “Yeah, just freaked the hell out. Shit man, I really thought we were headed for the center stage in the sky,” Licks said as he pushed himself off the wall. “I think I’m gonna head back to bed and try to forget that ever happened.”

  Retro leaned forward and braced his elbows on his legs. “As soon as I get feeling back in my legs, I’ll go check the equipment in the back.”

  Lars nodded and then turned his attention to me. “You okay, Jared?”

  “Yeah, I’m good, but I think Murphy’s gonna need some ice, and maybe some ibuprofen. She hit the table pretty damn hard.”

  “I’ll go with Retro and make sure nothing is damaged back there. I’ll let you fight with Murphy.”

  I understood a few minutes later why Lars nominated me to be the one to deal with Murphy. She was in rare form.

  “Just hold the ice to your jaw for a few minutes, Murphy, so the swelling goes down.” I slapped the bag of ice in her hand and walked away to get her some pain reliever, not giving her a chance to argue with me anymore about it. Lars heard us going back and forth about it and stood in the hallway, motioning for me to look at him. When I did, he tossed me a bottle of water. I dumped two pills out in my hand. When Murphy went to argue some more with me, I clamped my hand over her mouth. She jerked the bottle of water from me to wash them down.

  “I’m not a damn child, Jared,” she fumed.

  “Well, then stop acting like one, Murphy,” I said, snatching the water bottle from her, finishing it off.

  Murphy moved to the other couch as her eyes sought me out. “Believe it or not, I can take care of myself. I’ve done it for a long time.”

  I let the anger she’d coated her words with roll off. There was no point in getting mad at her. Not after we’d all had the shit scared out of us. And something told me it wasn’t what she was really angry about anyway.

  “Murphy, sometimes we all need someone to take care of us. Is it such a bad thing that I want to take care of you?”

  Her mouth opened and closed, as if she struggled with how to answer.

  I threw her off guard again when I asked if there were any extra blankets and pillows. She pointed to the cabinet above my head. I pulled out two of each and tossed her a pillow. “Lay down, Murphy, so you can put the ice on your jaw.” To my shock, she did what I asked.

  “How old are you, Murphy?”

  “What?” Confusion marred her brow.

  I settled the bag of ice against her cheek. “Well, you said you’re not a child, and it made me wonder how old you are.”

  Her arm came up across her chest, holding the bag in place. She eyed me suspiciously, but she answered. “Almost twenty.”

  “Almost as in a couple of days, a couple of weeks…” I gestured for her to help me out.

  “A few months. Well, more like four months. Which makes me almost a year older than you.”

  I laughed. “It’s not always about the age, but more the experience.”

  She rolled her eyes at me.

  “How’s the jaw?”

  “Numb.”

  “See? Sometimes it’s not such a bad thing having people take care of you.” I unfurled the blanket and draped it over her.

  Her hand caught mine before I could step back. “Thanks.” She released my hand and closed her eyes, missing the look of tenderness that had surely snuck its way across my face.

  I watched as her eyelashes fluttered against her cheekbones in a dusty sweep of black. Her pink lips were moist from where she’d licked them only seconds before, begging for me to lean over and kiss them. I closed my eyes on a silent groan, forcing myself to move away from her.

  I sat down on the other couch and tipped my head back, closing my eyes. It wasn’t a good idea to allow myself to have feelings for Murphy. Not a good idea at all. Traveling together, being around each other all the time, what if we did get involved and then decided we really didn’t like each other? It would make for a miserable time for both of us. Why couldn’t I just stick to sleeping around like so many others did?


  Because you’re not that guy, Jared.

  Stupid voice of reason.

  Murphy’s breathing evened out, and the melted bag of ice slipped from her hand. I caught it as it tumbled to the floor, taking it to the kitchen.

  Jeff, our driver, was sleeping on the small couch. When he heard me moving around, his eyes opened. “Taking a quick cat nap, per the boss lady. We’ll be on the road in a few hours,” he said as if he owed me an explanation.

  I nodded. Making my way back to the living room, I crawled onto the couch, where I fell into a deep sleep.

  I WOKE UP TO THE sway of the bus, wondering how long we’d been on the road as I slept. Sitting up, I scrubbed at my face to clear out the fog.

  “Who’s Riley?” Murphy’s voice piped up from the other couch.

  Early morning questions seemed to throw me before my first cup of coffee. “What?”

  Murphy’s brow bunched together and her lips pursed as she scrutinized me. “Who is Riley?” she asked again, enunciating every word as if that would make me understand her better.

  I could feel the confusion settling on my face. “Riley? Why would you ask about her?”

  She snorted and brought a coffee cup up to her lips. My mouth watered as I eyed her cup with longing. “What?” She pulled it back, giving me an odd look when I gestured to her to give it to me.

  The ceramic warmed my hands, and I wasted no time in taking a big gulp. Instant human, just add coffee.

  “Sorry, I can’t function all that well when I first wake up without this,” I said, dipping my head at the cup in my hands.

  “Yeah, well, don’t mess with mine either and we’ll get along just fine.” She huffed and left the room. When she returned, she had another cup.

  “Where are we?” I asked.

  Murphy sat down, tucking her legs alongside of her. She still wore my shorts and T-shirt. The cavemanish part of my brain grunted in approval. “Nuh-uh. I asked you a question first. I’m not answering that until you tell me who Riley is.”

  “Riley? She’s one of my best friends from home.” Another sip of coffee had me mulling over why I would have dreamed about her, let alone said her name.

  Murphy pierced me with a look of disbelief. “You don’t have to lie to me, Jared.”

  Having Murphy not believe me felt wrong, like I had to prove to her who Riley was to me. “Seriously, she’s been one of my best friends for like ever. Hang on, I’ll show you.” The coffee cup clanked against the table when I set it down to look for my phone. It had been on the table the night before, but after being put through what a bag of popcorn must feel like in a microwave, there was no telling where it could have went. Dropping to the floor, I ran my hands along the bottom of the couch. It wasn’t there, so I proceeded to slide my hand under the couch Murphy sat on. My fingers snagged on something, and I pulled it free. A pair of lace underwear dangled from my fingernail, and I shook my hand to get them free. “Yeah, that’s…”

  “Gross. That’s so gross!” Murphy’s voice pitched high enough to almost be a girly squeal.

  I couldn’t help but chuckle. Before I could stand to take them to the trash, Murphy snatched them from my hand and swept out of the room. Did I dare slide my hand under the couch again after finding someone’s underwear? Yes, I did, because I really wanted my phone. Not giving myself time to think too thoroughly about it, I tried again. I almost sighed with relief when my hand connected with my phone. When Murphy settled back on the couch, I brought the phone up and showed her the picture Mark sent me.

  She took the phone from my hand. “So that’s Riley, who are the other five?”

  I pointed out each of the guys. Aiden, Eli, Josh, and Mark all wore smiles on their faces, hamming it up for the camera, while Ace wore a smirk with his hand rested on Riley’s hip. My arm was slung over Riley’s shoulder, the smile on my face carefree, as if I were the king of the world. And really, at that time, wasn’t I? I had it all at that moment.

  “So let me get this straight… you have six best friends, and one of them is a girl?”

  “Yep. We’ve been best friends for a long damn time. Ever since middle school,” I said, motioning for her to hand me back my phone.

  She cocked her eyebrow at me. “That’s unrealistic. Most friends have fallouts and move on. The chance of seven people becoming friends and staying friends never happens.”

  I sat back and looked at her. Really looked at her. “That’s a pessimistic outlook. Besides, I never said we didn’t fight or even argue. And technically, there are eight of us with Riley’s friend Paige.” I shrugged when she rolled her eyes.

  “Like I said, unrealistic,” she replied, crossing her arms.

  “Well, you may have never seen it, but it does exist. Friendship, that is. What about you, Murphy… who’s your best friend?”

  She shifted in her seat, finished her coffee, and stood. “Friendship only leads to someone needing you too much, or they lie to you, and you get hurt.” She left the room before I could say anything back.

  I felt bad for her. Not all people were out to hurt you by choice. I mean, shit happened—people let each other down all the time, or they might get clingy. But that was relationships in general. The Six and I, we’d had our share of knock-down, drag-out fights, but we’d fixed all that the day we’d decided to put our friendship first—when we decided to fill the time capsule and not let anyone take away what we had. If people didn’t understand that, then screw them for being jaded.

  Licks poked his head in from the hallway. “Hey, Murphy’s gonna go over the schedule with us. Come on.”

  I picked up my coffee cup, making my way to the front of the bus.

  “OKAY, SO THAT’S SHREVEPORT, OKLAHOMA City, Little Rock, Jackson, and then Montgomery. I’m still waiting to hear back from Woody about opening up for Dead Galaxy. When I know, I’ll let you know.” Murphy tapped the pencil against the notebook in front of her. Her eyes slipped past me to land on the coffee pot. I reached over the back of the seat, past Licks, and grabbed her cup off the table. Figuring out what she wanted in her coffee wouldn’t be an issue since I’d just finished off her other cup. I filled it, added a touch of cream, and slid it back on the table.

  “Hey, while you’re playing waitress, grab me a soda,” Licks said as he draped his arm over the back of the bench and held out his hand.

  I slapped at his arm. “Get your own damn soda.”

  His arm swung out as he tried to hit me. “You suck, bro. How come you got Murphy a drink and can’t get me one?”

  “Murphy’s prettier than you.” I dodged his hand again. Murphy gave me a dirty look with a shake of her head. “Besides, I owed her a coffee since I stole hers this morning.”

  Her shoulders relaxed as she fidgeted with the notebook in front of her. “Okay, with all those gigs lined up, I’ll be able to restock the fridge and pick up bathroom supplies. I just need you to tell me what else you need besides that. Lay ’em on me so I can make a list and crush your dreams in the process.”

  Lars spoke first. “I’ll need to get some new sticks when we hit a place close enough to where I can go and pick them out. No offense, Murph, but the last ones you chose sucked.”

  She laughed. I’d waited for her to tell him off, and she laughed. “God, you’re such a damn diva. Don’t they all work the same?”

  Lars crossed his arms and grumbled. “Uh, no.”

  She waved him off. “Okay, I’ll let you know when I figure out where we can break away and get those. Okay, Licks I know what you’re gonna say so I’ll just write it, well, part of it, down.”

  Licks tried to snatch the notepad from her, but she smacked his hand. “Even if you did get a hold of the list, it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t mark out all the stupid shit you always ask for.”

  Licks slammed his hand against the table. “That’s blasphemy!”

  Retro busted out laughing, shoving Licks off the bench seat. “Bro, you say it every time, and every time you get shot down.”

 
Licks picked himself up off the floor, lunging for Retro, but Lars stepped in between them, halting him in his tracks. “A guy can hope, geez. Besides, I was gonna change it up this time!”

  Lars snorted. “To what, call girls, ladies of the night…? I mean really, Licks, a hooker is a hooker.”

  The guys busted out laughing.

  Murphy waited for them to settle and continued with her list. “Okay, so strings for Licks and a case of energy drinks.”

  “Red Bull!”

  “A case of the least expensive energy drinks,” Murphy reiterated.

  “Dream killer,” Licks said as he stood up and walked over to the fridge.

  “Okay, Retro, you’re up…” Murphy said as her pen hovered over the page.

  “Same. Strings and maybe a new pillow.”

  “That should be doable,” she replied as she wrote it down.

  “Jared?”

  I had another set of strings for Stella in her case. The Les Paul’s strings seemed new, but I wasn’t sure if Licks had another set. I would have thought that strings would be one supply that was readily available, especially for a traveling band. “I guess just some strings for the electric.” I rattled off the brand, and she wrote it down.

  “That’s it?” She said it like she was waiting for me to hit her with a list of things that I needed.

  “I’m good on everything else.”

  “Not true,” Licks said as he cracked a soda open. He stood close enough that the bubbles fizzed out, popping against my skin. “He needs a mattress.”

  “A mattress? Why? There’s one on his bunk already.” Murphy tried to push past Lars as if she wanted to go check.