Rae of Sunshine

by Micalea Smeltzer

  “Rachael, stop!”

  I looked up and the world disappeared, replaced by a blinding white light.

  The screeching of metal was worse than the screaming.

  Pain lacerated my side and I sucked in a sharp breath. I tasted blood on my tongue.

  The world that had been filled with noise just moments before was now eerily silent.

  “Brett? Sarah? Hannah?”

  Nothing.

  And then, just when the darkness threatened to take me I heard their voices.

  “You did this. You killed us. You’ll pay for this, Rachael.”

  I woke up with a gasp, the nightmare clinging to my skin in the form of sticky sweat. My heart thundered in my ears. I’d had the same nightmare since…since it happened, but it always had the same effect on me.

  An alarm blared through the room—the reason for waking me—and Thea covered her head with her pillow.

  “Turn it off,” she groaned.

  “It’s your alarm,” I told her.

  “Shiiiiiit,” she groaned. “I hate mornings.”

  She sat up and her hair stuck up wildly around her head. She slapped her hand against the annoying clock, ceasing its cry. It was then that I realized the time.

  “Oh crap.” I scrambled out of bed, looking for clothes. My first class started at eight and it was already seven-thirty. I wouldn’t have time to run. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t woken up at six or even earlier like I normally did. But after the catastrophe of a pool party last night I guessed that explained my current state of exhaustion.

  I shimmied into a pair of jeans and grabbed a t-shirt out of the drawer. I tried to make my curly hair look halfway decent but it was pointless.

  I grabbed my bag and ran out the door without even saying goodbye to Thea.

  I made a pit stop for coffee and a sandwich, because food was a must at this point and we didn’t have anything in our dorm yet. Luckily, I had a few minutes to spare.

  I ordered and grabbed my stuff. I didn’t even take time to look around the place. I had a one-track mind and right now I was focused on getting to class.

  That would be my downfall.

  When I turned to head out the door I collided with a solid chest and stumbled back. I knew that scent. I’d become intimately acquainted with it yesterday while wearing his shirt.

  He reached out and grabbed my elbow to steady me. I looked up into his too blue eyes that caused me to pause. Why did he have to be so gorgeous with that dark hair and smile? Why did he have to make me feel so good?

  “Rae,” Cade grinned, his lips quirking up at the corners. “We really need to stop meeting like this.” He winked and released my arm.

  “Yeah,” I mumbled in reply, because I was too busy gawking at the outline of his chest concealed behind a gray t-shirt. He wore a leather jacket on top and his jeans were a dark blue. He smelled like dessert and I wanted to take a bite. I hadn’t let myself think such thoughts in a year, and I hated that this one guy could frazzle me in such a way. He didn’t know me and I didn’t know him. Therefore, this…this connection between us shouldn’t have existed, but it did. I’d never believed in destiny or soul mates, but I did believe in Cade Montgomery and there was more to him, to us, than I wanted to accept.

  I shook my head and side-stepped him as I headed to the door.

  He followed and I wasn’t the least bit surprised. I could feel him hovering behind me, his body a heavy and warm presence.

  I looked over my shoulder at him as we stepped onto the sidewalk and the door closed behind us. “Weren’t you getting coffee?” I asked, walking away.

  “Can’t we share?” He jogged after me.

  “Uh…” I looked at him like he’d lost his mind.

  He continued to speak, completely unfazed by my dumbfounded expression. “I mean, I did give you mouth to mouth, so my saliva has already been in your mouth. It’s not like sharing a cup of coffee would be gross or anything.”

  Fucking Montgomery. I couldn’t find a sound argument for that and he knew it.

  “Fine,” I agreed, stopping in my tracks. As we stood there I took several sips of the heated liquid and handed it to him. “Your turn.”

  He chuckled and took the paper cup. As he sipped, he started to walk. “You coming?” He called over his shoulder.

  I rolled my eyes and followed. After all, he had my coffee.

  “You know,” I told him, as I fell into step beside him, “you’re like that annoying homeless dog that shows up at your house and won’t go away once you give it a little attention.”

  He snorted and grinned down at me. “Are you saying I look like a homeless dog?”

  “No, I’m saying you act like one,” I explained.

  “So, you think I’m good looking?” His eyes sparkled with mischief.

  I wanted to smack my forehead. Walked right into that one, didn’t you, Rachael?

  I decided to not even bother trying to talk my way out of this one. Instead, I said, “Oh please, you’re very aware of what you look like. Don’t act like you’re clueless to the effect you have on the female population. Unfortunately,” I looked him up and down, “your charm and looks don’t work on me. I’m saving you the trouble here, Cade. Leave me alone. You’re not going to get anymore from me than this right here,” I waved a hand between the two of us.

  He tilted his head slightly to the side and studied me. “I never said I wanted to fuck you, Rachael.” His voice lowered and he stepped forward. I shivered as he reached up to play with a piece of my hair. “Although, if that’s what you wanted, I doubt you’d resist. I see the way you react to me.” His lips brushed my cheek and I gasped. “Just. Like. That.” He stepped away, his point having been proven. “And while I’d like to fuck you until neither of us can walk, that’s not the reason I talk to you. I want to be your friend, Rae.”

  “I don’t need friends,” I spat, like the mere idea was repulsive.

  An elegant brow rose on his forehead. “Everyone needs friends.”

  “Not me.”

  “Even you.” His eyes narrowed.

  I snatched the coffee cup from his hand and gave him the most withering glare I could muster—which frightened most people, but of course Cade just continued to smile like I’d handed him a damn lollipop.

  “You’re determined to make me not like you, which makes me even more determined to like you.”

  “Wow, that was quite the mind bender, Cade,” I started walking away. “I’m late for class, so please stop wasting my time.”

  “Hey,” he called after me and I turned, “you’re the one that talked back. You don’t have to talk to me, Rae. But you do.”

  With that, he turned on his heel and sauntered away, his point having been made.

  ***

  I walked into my first class with not a moment to spare. I slid into a seat beside a guy with spiky black and blue hair just before the professor walked in.

  If Cade Montgomery had caused me to be late I might’ve lost my ever-loving mind. Like a full-on Toddlers and Tiaras kind of hissy fit.

  After what happened last year I gave up on my dreams of photography and going to college. I killed three people. I didn’t deserve my life, whether or not I was technically guilty of their deaths or not. I still felt I needed to be punished and I’d done it by closing myself off from everything and everyone. However, my parents and therapist had been persistent in the fact that I needed to go to college. I had to admit now that I was here I was glad they’d been so pushy.

  I thought this might be exactly what I had needed all along.

  A fresh start.

  five

  My first two weeks of classes flew by and I began to settle into my new life. Despite my thoughts on first walking into my dorm and meeting Thea she was actually pretty cool. In fact, I kind of even liked her. I hadn’t wanted to make friends here, but Thea was pretty impossible to ignore and she was determined to be my friend. We met up for lunch and dinner every day and often hung out in
our dorm and around campus together.

  I hadn’t seen Cade at all in the last two weeks—not since our run in at the coffee shop.

  That should’ve been a good thing, but instead I found myself looking for him every chance I got. From whispers on campus and what I’d gathered from Thea, he was like a superstar here. I thought guys like him—you know, the super hot jock types—craved attention, but Cade stayed hidden. He was a pretty unusual guy.

  Since he seemed to have disappeared that meant my morning runs had been relatively quiet and pretty boring. I never thought I’d like having someone run with me, but leave it to Cade to ruin it for me. Now running didn’t seem as much fun without him. On the few mornings we’d run together we hadn’t even spoken much, but Cade seemed to calm and center me. He had a weird effect on my body. I wanted to hate it, but I didn’t. Cade made me feel alive when I’d been dead inside for far too long.

  I knew it would be better if I stayed away from him—far, far away—but I wasn’t sure I was strong enough for that. Something about him drew me in and I was too weak to resist—just like I couldn’t seem to resist becoming friends with Thea. The Montgomery siblings were pretty impossible to dislike. They both had a magnetism to them and it was nice to have people in my life that didn’t know what I’d done. Back home, I’d been judged and looked down upon—not that I could blame anyone for their hatred. What I’d done had been wrong, so very wrong. But I was human and I craved normalcy, and for the first time in a year that’s what I was finally feeling. Normal. I’d almost forgotten what it felt like.

  I knew I was being silly to even be thinking about Cade. After all, I hadn’t seen him in a while, but the jock had invaded all my thoughts.

  Realistically, he was probably avoiding me and had found someone else that actually returned his feelings—because while he might’ve made me like him, it didn’t mean I wanted him in that way. You know, a sexual way, because I so wasn’t going there. Sex complicated things, and when feelings were involved…yeah, that was a bomb I wanted to avoid at all costs.

  “Hey,” Thea smiled, appearing in the doorway of the bathroom where I stood brushing my hair. “We should go out tomorrow. We’ve been cooped up on campus for too long. I’m bored.”

  I resisted the urge to wince. “Going out isn’t exactly my thing.”

  “Is anything your thing?” She countered. She had a valid point there.

  “Not really,” I replied honestly. Once upon a time it had been, but not anymore.

  She jutted out her bottom lip and brought her hands together in a pleading manner. “Please,” she begged, “Please, please, please? We don’t have to go to a club or anything like that. Ooh! Ooh!” She suddenly raised one arm excitedly, like a little kid in school desperate to be called on because they knew the correct answer to the teacher’s question. “I know! This weekend is the end of the carnival! Let’s do that! It’ll be fun!”

  I wanted to say no, but I found myself saying, “Okay.” Apparently it was impossible to say no to Thea. Actually, it was more than that. Despite my vow to not make my friends here, I was actually desperate for it, and I wanted her to like me. Yeah, I was weird, but at least I was aware of it.

  She let out a shriek and wrapped her thin arms around my neck. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She chanted. “This is going to be so much fun!”

  You would’ve thought I told her that her favorite actor was going to be sleeping in our room with how excited she was.

  “Yay.” I shook my hands around, feigning excitement.

  Thea backed away, into the dorm room, and grabbed up her bag. “I better go, I’m going to be late for class.”

  I looked down at my phone and paled when I saw the time. Crap. I was going to be late too. I was losing track of time more often thanks to my wandering thoughts.

  I grabbed my bag from the room and ran out the door. Thea hurried behind me and once we exited the dorm we headed our separate ways. She tossed a cheery, “See you later,” my way, but I didn’t reply.

  I breezed into class with a few minutes to spare. I took a seat next to a girl name Novalee. She had purple hair, a sprinkling of freckles across her nose, and a pierced eyebrow. I’d seen some of her photos and she was amazing—the kind of photographer I was envious of.

  She glanced up when I sat down and I forced a smile. She did the same.

  Our professor came in and began the lesson. Before it was over he started discussing a project that would run all semester long and we were to work with a partner. He was hoping since each of us had such a distinct style we would be able to learn something from each other and at the end of the semester we were to turn in a collage showcasing our collaborated work.

  “Find someone to work with,” he waved his hands dismissively, “and then you can get out of here.”

  I turned to Novalee and she was already looking at me. A single brow arched on her forehead, but she didn’t say anything.

  “Want to work together?” I asked.

  “Sounds good.” She shrugged, picked up her bag, and left.

  I think I’d finally found someone that hated talking as much as I did.

  ***

  “I don’t know what to wear.” Thea pouted with her hands on her hips as she stared into her overflowing closet.

  I quirked an eyebrow and peered over her shoulder. “It looks to me like you have plenty of options.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “Not really.”

  I sighed. She’d already been standing there shuffling through clothes for a good thirty minutes. It was safe to say that she was tap-dancing across my last nerve.

  “Come on, Thea,” I groaned, not even bothering to try to hide how irritated I was. “Just pick something and put it on so we can go.”

  “Okay, okay,” she intoned, picking a random dress off a rack.

  Despite the fact that I was standing there she stripped down to her underwear and slipped the dress on. It was a pretty pale blue with flowers on it. She fluffed her hair and touched up her makeup.

  “Reeeadddy,” she sing-songed.

  I stared at her for a moment and then glanced at myself in the floor-length mirror she had on her side of the room.

  It was safe to say I looked like a piece of crap next to Thea. I was dressed in a worn pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. My curly hair was all over the place and I’d smeared on the bare minimum of makeup.

  True, Thea had taken a lot longer to get ready than me, but she looked stunning.

  “Why are you staring at me?” She asked. “Do I have lipstick on my teeth?” She swiped a finger over her teeth.

  “No, you’re good,” I assured her. “I was just thinking that it’s completely unfair that you look like that, and I’m well…me.” I waved to my drab attire.

  She smiled slowly. “Why don’t you let me dress you? I’m sure I have something that’ll work for you.”

  Considering I was five-foot ten and Thea couldn’t be more than five-foot four I doubted she had anything that would fit me. I was slender all over and she had the kind of curves girls envied and guys drooled over.

  “I doubt your clothes would fit me,” I told her.

  She waved a hand dismissively. “We’ll make it work.”

  She shuffled through her clothes once more. “Aha,” she grinned, producing a short and flowy mint green dress.

  “I don’t think that will cover my ass,” I stated. The thing was really that short and it would be even shorter on me.

  She rolled her eyes and thrust the dress into my hands. “Just put it on. If it’s indecently short then that’s what tights are for.”

  Clearly there was no arguing with Thea. She had an answer for everything.

  I slipped into the dress and surprisingly it wasn’t that short on me. It still exposed a lot of leg, but I wasn’t worried about flashing anyone my lady bits.

  “See?” Thea clapped her hands together. “I knew it would work. Now sit.” She pointed to the bed.

  I did as she asked an
d she began to braid my unruly hair to the side. A few shorter pieces escaped and framed my face.

  “You’re so pretty, Rae. It’s not fair.”

  I resisted the urge to snort at those words coming from Thea.

  After she finished with my hair she raided my closet for shoes. I didn’t have many options that would match the dress so she settled on my lone pair of black flats.

  She handed them over and gave me a look—the kind of look that said I was in trouble.

  “We need to go shopping. Like at a mall. You need real clothes.”

  I let out a small laugh as I slipped the shoes on. “Last time I checked, those were real clothes.”

  “You know what I mean. You need some more…sparkle, and less doom and gloom.” She wiggled her fingers like she was doing jazz hands.

  I paused and quirked a brow. “Did you seriously just use the word sparkle?” My eyes widened. “Oh, let me guess, you were one of those girls that paraded around on stage in a tutu for a pageant?”

  Her cheeks heated. “They’re not tutu’s, they’re dresses, and I only did that till I was like…” She paused, thinking. “Twelve. Then I put a stop to it.”

  “Do you have any crowns with sparkles?” I giggled. Whoa, I actually giggled. That was new.

  She put her hands on her hips. “Stop making fun of me.”

  “Alright, alright,” I relinquished, standing up. I smoothed my hands down the front of the dress. “Are you ready to go?”

  She nodded. “Yep…oh, and I probably should’ve told you…” She bit down on her bottom lip and gave me a sheepish look.

  “Told me what?” My eyes narrowed and my heart pumped faster with fear at her next words.

  “My brother will be there.”

  Oh, shit.

  I schooled my features and stood up straight, feigning that I was unaffected by what she told me.

  “Oh…that’ll be…fun?” It came out sounding like a question. Since I hadn’t seen Cade in two weeks, not since the coffee shop incident, I wasn’t sure where we stood. It looked like I was about to find out.

  “Yeah, when I told him we were going he wanted to tag along. Jace and Xander are coming too,” she shrugged, “so it won’t be just the three of us.”