Rae of Sunshine

by Micalea Smeltzer

  “He can,” I agreed.

  “Go sit down,” Marty ordered, “I’ll send someone over to get your drink order.”

  “Come on,” Cade nodded towards the corner of the restaurant that wasn’t as busy.

  The place seemed a bit shady from the outside…and the inside too. The walls were crumbling and the floors looked dirty. I had to admit the food looked delicious—at least what I’d seen in passing.

  Menus were already on the table and I picked one up, looking it over.

  “Everything is good,” Cade told me, not even bothering to look, “you can’t go wrong.”

  I pointed to the menu and leaned forward a bit. He leaned in too and there was barely any space between us. Up close I could see flecks of gold in his blue eyes. “It looks like everything is not one of the items on the menu.”

  He bellowed out a laugh. “Joke number two. This night is shaping up to be very interesting.”

  “If that’s what you call interesting,” I sat back, “then you really need to look up the definition of the word.”

  He smiled, scratching his jaw. “You’re not like other girls, Rae.”

  “No, I’m not,” I agreed. I wasn’t most like people. Not anymore. My innocence had been stolen a year ago when I ruined everything.

  “So, where are you from Rae?”

  I squirmed. Why did he have to ask that question? “Not anywhere near here.” I answered vaguely. Vague was always good.

  “I figured that.” He stared at me, waiting for me to say something. I knew I needed to give him some kind of information, but I didn’t want to lie. Lying only made things worse and my life was already fucked up enough as it was.

  “What can I get you to drink?”

  The sound of the waitress’ voice was akin to angels singing. I was thankful for the reprieve.

  “Water for me,” Cade said.

  “Water for me as well,” I smiled at her.

  “I’ll give you a minute to look at the menu and I’ll be right back with your drinks.” She tapped her fingers lightly against the wood tabletop and then she was gone.

  Cade’s eyes seared me when I looked up. “Why don’t you want to tell me where you’re from?”

  “Because it’s not important.”

  He sighed and I felt kind of bad for sounding like such a bitch. “Look,” I placed my hands on the table and leaned forward, “there are things that happened there, bad things, and I just don’t want to talk about it. Okay?”

  He absorbed my words and I thought for a minute he was going to protest. “Okay,” he agreed.

  I let out a sigh of relief.

  “What can I ask you?”

  “I don’t know.” I laughed. “Something easy.”

  “What’s your middle name?” He asked.

  “Madison. Yours?”

  “Paul. Favorite color?”

  “Purple. Yours?” I smiled at our back and forth. This, right here, was simple and easy. I needed more of this in my life.

  “Gray, I guess. I don’t really have a favorite. Favorite movie?”

  I had to think about that one. “Titanic. It’s romantic and heartbreaking. What’s yours?”

  “Ghostbusters. Favorite band?”

  “One Republic. Yours?” I rested my chin on my hand, fighting another smile.

  “Fall Out Boy. Favorite—”

  “Here’s your water. Are you ready to order?”

  I jumped at the sound of the waitress’ voice. I hadn’t realized it but while we were talking Cade and I had leaned closer and closer together. I sat back, tucking my hands onto my lap.

  Cade ordered and I muttered, “I’ll have the same.” I hadn’t even really bothered to scrutinize the menu.

  “Good choice,” Cade grinned.

  “Of course you’d say that.” I squeezed the lemon into my glass of water just to have something to do.

  “Well, I mean you did order the same thing as me and I have excellent taste in everything.”

  “Is that so?” I asked, raising a brow.

  “I mean, I am sitting here having dinner with you. I think that proves I make good choices.”

  I bit my lip and looked down. My fingers found the paper napkin on the table and I began to pick it apart. “What is it about me that makes you think I’m a good choice?”

  His eyes narrowed. “You really don’t see yourself the way others see you, do you?”

  “I don’t know what you mean,” I muttered, not meeting his gaze.

  “When I say certain things you act like you’re a monster.” I was a monster, Cade just didn’t know it yet. “I don’t understand it.”

  “You don’t understand it or me?”

  “You. I don’t fucking understand you.” His jaw tightened.

  I lowered my head and realized that I was ruining our whole evening. “Look,” my voice cracked, “you don’t know what I’ve been through. The things people have said to me. The names I’ve been called. It’s been horrible.”

  “Then tell me,” he pleaded.

  “I can’t. I barely know you.”

  “Don’t you see,” he snapped, waving his hand between us, “I’m trying to get to know you but you’re making it impossible.” He let out a heavy, pent-up breath. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you,” he laid his hands on his table. “But I promise you right now, Rae, I will get you to trust me and one day, when you’re ready, you’re going to tell me everything.”

  I doubted it, but I didn’t tell him that.

  Our food arrived and I decided to change the subject. I didn’t want there to be anymore awkwardness between us because of me. And frankly, I actually wanted both of us to enjoy tonight.

  “I had fun at your game,” I told him, squirting some ketchup on my plate.

  “You did?” He perked up, smiling.

  “Yeah. It was cool seeing you play. I’ve never been into the sport before,” I shrugged.

  “And now you are?” He questioned, his smile turning into a full-blown grin. The dimples weren’t quite showing, but I felt like the tension had dissipated fairly well.

  I held my thumb and index finger up with a tiny bit of space between them. “Just a little bit.”

  “Only a little bit?”

  “Okay, maybe this much.” I widened the space.

  “That’s better,” he chuckled, taking a bite of his burger.

  I did the same. “You know, Thea is extra crazy at football games. I thought she might pull my arm off with the way she kept yanking on it, or maybe bust my ear drum.”

  Cade chuckled. “Thea is highly enthusiastic.”

  “Yeah, kind of like a puppy.”

  Cade snorted and then laughed so hard I feared he couldn’t breathe. “Did you just compare my sister to a puppy?”

  “Hey,” I raised my hands, “don’t tell me you haven’t thought the same thing. She’s a ball of energy. Except in the mornings. That’s when she’s dreadful.”

  Cade continued to laugh. “I’m sure it must be interesting living with Thea.”

  “You have no idea. I’m really tempted to throw everything she owns that’s pink out the window. It’s just too much. No one should ever own that much pink.” Yeah, I really hated pink.

  “You should see her room at home if you think your dorm room is bad,” Cade chortled.

  “Oh, God.” I slapped my hands over my eyes, like the thought alone was too much to handle.

  “In her defense, that’s mostly our mom’s doing. She always thought Thea should be a princess,” he explained, grabbing a fry.

  “Like with the pageants?” I questioned, raising a brow.

  “She told you about that?” Cade’s eyes widened with surprise.

  “I guessed. She confirmed.” I replied.

  “Ah, I see,” he chuckled. “She doesn’t tell most people about that. She finds it embarrassing. Our mom’s a bit…zany.”

  “That’s a kind word for crazy.” Shit. I shouldn’t have said that out loud.

&n
bsp; Cade chuckled. “That’s true.”

  We finished eating while chatting about more random things. It surprised me how easy it was being with Cade. Even when it was rough—like our conversation earlier—I still found myself comfortable in his presence. I might’ve tried to stay away from him, but that was for his protection. He couldn’t see that I would ruin him, but I was growing too weak to stay away. I needed Cade Montgomery in my life anyway he’d give me.

  The waitress laid the receipt on the table and before I could react, Cade had already grabbed it with a credit card in his hand.

  “Cade,” I groaned, “you said this dinner was as friends. Please let me pay my half.”

  “No can do, Sunshine,” he shook his head.

  “Caaaaade,” I drew out his name.

  He stared at me and I stared right back.

  The waitress came back by and he handed her his credit card.

  “You didn’t need to do that,” I told him.

  “I know,” he grinned. “Now just sit back and say thank you.”

  I sighed, fighting the urge to kick him beneath the table. “Thank you, Cade. The meal was delicious and I enjoyed spending time with you.” I meant it too.

  His grin spread. “I enjoyed spending time with you too.”

  My fingers tangled together and I looked away, unable to handle another second of his stare.

  The waitress returned with his credit card and after signing the slip we headed out to his Jeep.

  “So,” he started, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans, “does this mean I might get to take you on a real date?”

  I stopped walking and leveled him with a glare. “Don’t push your luck.” I liked Cade way more than I should already, anything that might lead to more had to be avoided at all costs.

  He chuckled and lifted his arms in mock defense. “Hey, I had to ask.” He reached out and opened the passenger door for me. I climbed inside and swore I felt his eyes on my butt.

  Once he got in he turned the heat up and rested his elbow on the armrest. His hand was dangerously close to mine. If I was a different girl—one who hadn’t been through what I had—Cade would be the perfect guy, and instead of running from him at every turn I’d open my arms and embrace him. I was scared though—terrified, really—of what he would think of me if he knew the truth. The best course of action was to distance myself from him, but I knew it would be impossible. Not only because Cade was unavoidable, but because I’d actually come to like him.

  The drive back to campus was peaceful.

  He parked the Jeep and unbuckled his seatbelt. “I’ll walk you to the door so I know you get in safe.” He climbed out of the car and met me on the other side. Together we headed towards the dorm in the distance.

  At the door I stopped. “Thanks,” I smiled, looking up at him. “For walking me to the door and for dinner. I…I had a good time.”

  “Good,” he grinned. He leaned his solid shoulder against the glass door so I couldn’t open it.

  I stood still, waiting for whatever he might do or say next, because with Cade you never knew.

  Only a few seconds had passed when he lifted his fingers to my cheek. My eyes closed and my lips parted with a breath as his fingers ghosted against my skin. His touch felt like the most delicious kind of torture.

  “Goodnight, Rae.”

  I blinked my eyes open slowly and saw him already walking back to his Jeep.

  “Goodnight, Cade,” I whispered, lifting my fingers to my cheek. I’d never known a simple caress could make your whole body soar with feelings, but Cade apparently had a magic touch.

  ten

  “I hate your brother and he needs to crawl in a hole and die before I kill him myself,” I snapped at Thea, as I hunched over the toilet. I’d spent all night sick with stupid food poisoning and I still wasn’t feeling better.

  Thea stood in the doorway frowning. “I’ll give him the memo.”

  “You do that,” I assured her. I flushed the toilet and brushed my teeth for at least the twentieth time since I’d gotten sick. “I’m going back to bed.”

  “And I’m going to class.” She pulled on a jacket and grabbed her backpack. “I’ll check on you at lunch and see if you want anything to eat.”

  I gagged at the mention of food. “That’s unlikely.” I planned to never eat again.

  I burrowed my way into the fort of blankets on my bed. I rolled around until they were wrapped so tightly around me that I’d have to cut my way out. Sleep had been pretty much nonexistent last night and there was no way I’d make it through class today. I was just going to have to suck it up and miss. That was upsetting, but I didn’t have a choice.

  I was close to drifting asleep when someone knocked on the door.

  I held my breath, hoping they’d go away, but then they knocked again.

  Dammit. I was going to have to get out of my cozy nest and that was so not cool.

  I figured it was probably the RA, wondering why it sounded like someone was dying in here.

  I rolled out of bed and pulled on a sweatshirt, trying to tame my wild mane of hair when the person knocked again.

  I swung it open and wouldn’t you know, there was Cade. Apparently he’d gotten the memo and he wasn’t afraid of what I wanted to do to him. I might feel like shit right now and too weak to do anything, but the minute I felt better he was going to suffer for this.

  “Thea said you were sick.”

  “No,” I held up a hand, “not sick. I have food poisoning.”

  He winced. “Shit.”

  “Yeah,” I leaned against the doorway for support. “So, if you wouldn’t mind, I’m going back to bed now.” I started to close the door but he pushed his way inside. “God you’re fucking annoying,” I groaned, “can’t you just go away? I’m not in the mood, Cade.”

  “You’re sick. It’s my fault,” he put his hands on his hips, nodding at his words, “so I’m going to do the right thing and take care of you.”

  “No, the right thing would be to get out of my fucking room and leave me alone.”

  He chuckled. “I’m glad to know that even when you’re sick you’re still the same, Rae.”

  “Get out,” I pleaded.

  “No, I’m staying.”

  I sighed heavily. I was never going to win this argument. Cade was too stubborn for his own good.

  “Fine,” I climbed into bed once more. “Then be a good lad and fetch me a Sprite.”

  He snorted. “Did you just use the words lad and fetch in one sentence?”

  “I did,” I declared.

  “I feel used.”

  “Hey,” I scolded, cracking an eye open, “you’re the one that said you weren’t going to leave. Now make yourself useful.”

  His lips turned up into a smirk. “I’ll be right back.”

  By the time he got back I had already dozed off and he had to wake me. “Here,” he slid a straw into the can and held it to my lips, “drink. I’m sure you’re dehydrated.”

  “That’s why I asked for the Sprite.”

  “Such a smart ass,” he chuckled. “Now drink.”

  I did and the cool liquid soothed my parched throat. “That’s enough,” I told him, when I’d had my fill. He sat the can on the table beside my bed.

  “Scoot over,” he demanded.

  “What? You’re not getting in bed with me,” I guffawed.

  “Yes, I am,” he pushed gently at my body, trying to coax me over. “I need to be close in case you need anything.”

  “Thea’s bed is plenty close!” I squeaked.

  “Yeah, but if there’s an emergency I think it’s imperative that I be within touching distance,” he argued.

  “Where do you come up with this stuff?” I gaped. Before he could answer, I said, “Listen, I don’t even want you here, so don’t push your luck. Be a good boy and sit on Thea’s bed. I’m going to take a nap. Frankly, I’m exhausted and don’t feel like dealing with any bullshit.”

  “Okay,” he raised
his hands in surrender. “You win.” He sat on Thea’s bed. “I’ll sit here and be a good boy,” he waved his hands in the air with a grin as he mimed my words.

  “Thank you,” I croaked, and I meant it. In fact, I was kind of glad someone was here with me, but I wasn’t going to tell Cade that.

  “Go to sleep, Rae,” he whispered.

  The way he looked at me had my throat closing up. It reminded me of a time I’d tried to erase from my memory—of a boy that had stolen my heart and died with it.

  ***

  “You like him, don’t you?” Sarah teased, swinging on the swing set in my backyard.

  I tore my gaze away from where Brett was mowing the grass in his yard.

  “What? No, of course not,” I scoffed. “We’re only friends.”

  “Leave her alone,” Hannah defended me. “If she likes him that’s her business, not ours.”

  Sarah and Hannah might’ve been my best friends—but Sarah was one person I couldn’t share everything with. She was a gossiper and if I admitted to having a crush on Brett it would be all over the middle school halls come Monday morning.

  “It’s pretty obvious,” Sarah snorted. “But if you don’t like him,” she hopped off the swing set, “then I think I’ll go talk to him.” She tossed a smirk over her shoulder and sauntered through the field that separated my house from Brett’s.

  I knew she was only doing it to get a reaction from me, but my feelings were uncontrollable. When Brett turned off the lawnmower to talk to her she put her hand on his arm, looking back at me. I saw red.

  “Rachael—” Hannah warned, but it was too late.

  I was already marching across the field, ready to drag Sarah back by her shiny platinum blonde hair.

  “Sarah, what are you doing?” I hissed, leveling her with a glare. I’d never had the desire to claw a girl’s eyes out, but right then I was ready to pounce on her.

  “I was just asking Brett if he’d like to hang out tomorrow.” She batted her eyes innocently.

  “He can’t. He’s busy. We have plans,” I spat.

  “Plans?” Brett piped in.

  “Yes,” I maneuvered so I was in front of him, “very important plans that can’t be canceled.”

  “Oh, well forget I said anything.” Sarah smiled victoriously and headed back to my house.