I didn’t want to give him my name, but I knew lying wasn’t an option. “Rae.”
“Rae,” he repeated my name slowly, like it was a flavor exploding on his taste buds. “Beautiful name for a beautiful woman.”
Cade growled, his hold on me tightening.
“Don’t get defensive, Montgomery. I’m just stating the obvious,” Eric chortled. “Man, I’ve never seen you so worked up over a girl before. Haven’t actually seen you with many girls. I was starting to think you were gay.”
Cade jolted forward, his fist tightening.
I grabbed ahold of his arm, digging my fingernails into the skin. “Cade, stop,” I warned. “He’s just trying to get a rise out of you.”
That made him stop, but he still glared at Eric like he was ready to kill him.
“Come on,” I coaxed, “let’s grab a drink and go back to the living room.” Or leave, which I didn’t say out loud.
He bristled, still glaring at Eric, but after a few more seconds his body relaxed and he turned away from the other guy.
“He’s just trying to piss you off,” I hissed.
“I know,” Cade mumbled, staring down at his shoes, “but it’s working.”
Cade grabbed a bottle of water for me and a beer for himself. Taking my hand, he led me from the kitchen. I felt Eric’s eyes boring into my back. I didn’t tell Cade, but the guy gave me the creeps. There was definitely something off about him.
Cade found an empty space of wall in one of the hallways and pulled me in front of him, my back to his chest. Almost every surface in the house was covered with bodies, and those that weren’t looked like they were covered in vomit and other mysterious stains.
I could feel a headache coming on from all the noise and reached up to rub my temples.
This was exactly what I’d pictured a college party to be like and I didn’t want anything to do with it.
Even when I was still Rachael I’d never been the girl screaming, taking her top off, and dancing on a table. And yes, that definitely just happened.
I wasn’t sure whether I should cover my eyes, Cade’s, or both. Probably both—oh God, she was going to knock someone out with one of those if she kept swinging around like that.
I felt like maybe I should be the responsible person and step forward to try to stop her, but now a ring of people were forming around her, urging her on. Yeah, I wasn’t going to try and break through them.
Cade’s hands grasped my hips and I tilted my head back to look at him. “Is this what all your parties are like?”
He laughed. “This isn’t my party, but yes most of them are like this.”
“Well, that’s…gross,” I mumbled, trying not to watch the show being put on.
Cade moved from behind me and dragged me into the dining room where we couldn’t see the girl anymore. I was thankful for it.
The dining room wasn’t even decorated as a dining room. It was set up more like a den with a couch, chairs, and a TV with an expensive looking game box. The only thing that gave away the origin of the room was the chandelier in the center that must’ve come with the house, because there was no way college guys would’ve installed one.
I didn’t want to sit on the couch, because it was definitely stained with something funky, so Cade and I stood against the wall like we had in the hallway. The room had cleared out, thanks to the striptease going on—although, I wasn’t sure it could be considered teasing when you ripped off your clothes.
I noticed Eric was still in the kitchen with the same girl. She was basically humping his leg and her mouth was glued to his neck, leaving a slobbery trail.
But Eric seemed oblivious to the poor girl, who was clearly trying to get his attention. I knew this because his eyes were on me. His eyes scanned my body lazily, like he was memorizing every curve. Now I really did want to hide behind Cade.
“What are you looking at?” He asked, turning around to see for himself.
Eric had the good sense to look away in time, so Cade assumed I was just grossed out by the display.
Cade looked down at me, frowning. “Let’s go.”
We couldn’t have been there more than thirty minutes, and I felt bad that he wanted to leave because of me.
“No, I’m fine,” I assured him. “These are your friends. Go mingle. I’ll be fine here.” I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.
He looked at me skeptically. “I think we should go.”
“Cade,” I said his name sternly, like I was scolding a child. “I won’t be the girlfriend that keeps you from doing things. I’m fine,” I assured him. “Don’t worry about me.”
He sighed, swallowing thickly. “Give me fifteen minutes and then we’ll go.”
I nodded as he lowered his head to press a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth.
As soon as he disappeared from my sight my anxiety sky-rocketed, but I knew I’d made the right decision. I didn’t want to become a burden on him and keep him from his friends. I didn’t need Cade to become my shield from life. I had to learn to deal with uncomfortable situations on my own.
I fiddled with my fingers, feeling extremely awkward to be standing there by myself. It was clearly only upperclassmen at the party, which only served to make me feel more out of place.
Maybe if I was still Rachael I’d plaster a fake smile on my face and introduce myself to some people. But I felt frozen to the spot.
To have something to do I fiddled with a loose thread on my shirt.
“Need some help there?”
I let out a startled squeak as I looked up and saw Eric. He stood there with his hands in the pockets of his jeans, angling his body towards me. He smiled in a way that I was sure was meant to comfort me, but only made me feel more unease.
“Uh,” I let my hand fall away from the sleeve of my shirt, “no, I don’t need any help.” I took an unconscious step away from. If he noticed he didn’t act like it.
His smile widened. I’m sure that smile had lots of girls swooning into his arms, but not me.
“That’s a shame,” he chuckled, his eyes zeroed in on my breasts.
“Well, if you don’t need anything, I’ll be going.” I moved around him to leave, but he caught my arm, jerking me back in front of him.
“Ow,” I groaned, rubbing the tender area where my shoulder and arm connected. “Was that necessary?”
“Sorry,” he apologized, but there was nothing sincere in his voice. “I just didn’t want you to leave.”
I looked over my shoulder where the blonde who’d been hanging onto him earlier glared at me. “I don’t think you’re lacking for company. I’m leaving.”
This time when I moved around him he grabbed both of my arms and shoved me against the wall so hard that it felt like my skull cracked against it. Tears stung my eyes and all air left my lungs as he glared down at me.
“I wasn’t done talking to you, bitch,” he spat.
I flinched from his words, his hold, and the scary look in his eyes. It was like he was possessed. They were so empty and lifeless.
“Wh-what do you want to talk about?” I stuttered, trying to appease him.
This was like the night at the club, but so much worse, because Eric was huge and I knew there was no way I was getting out of this situation on my own. I had to hope Cade came back soon or someone intervened.
Eric was clearly drunk, but his hold on my arms was so tight that I swore my bones rubbed together. I was definitely going to have bruises in the morning.
“Why are you here with Montgomery?” He asked.
I hadn’t expected that question. “Because he’s my boyfriend,” I whispered.
“Boyfriend?” He chuckled, the stench of alcohol on his breath making me feel dizzy. “That’s funny.”
“It’s not a joke,” I glared. “Now let me go.” I said the words with as much strength as I could muster, but there was still a slight quiver to my voice.
He chuckled. “That’s cute.”
“What’s cute?”
My whole body started to shake. This was so bad.
“That you think I’m going to let someone as pretty as you get away.” He released his hold on one of my arms, but before I could make a move to wiggle away he pressed his body firmly against mine. I felt like I was suffocating. “You’re not going anywhere.” When my body bucked against his he smoothed his fingers down my cheek. “Shh, I won’t hurt you.”
I wanted to argue that he’d already hurt me, but I knew my words would only fall on deaf ears.
Glaring at him, I spat, “I never knew someone such as yourself had to force themselves on girls to get any action. That’s called sexual assault.”
His eyes burned and I had no time to react before his hand slapped against my cheek.
I saw stars and wiggled my arm, trying to get my hand to my cheek to soothe the burn, but I couldn’t move.
I tasted blood in my mouth from the impact, and while I might have been scared I was also mad. I spat the blood out on his shirt and he chuckled in response.
“You have sass, I like that.”
“Get away from her.” An icy voice spoke beyond the mountain that was Eric.
Eric didn’t step away from me, in fact I was pretty sure he drew even closer, tightening his hold to the point that I was sure my circulation was cut off.
Looking over his shoulder he chuckled menacingly. “Now why would I do that, Montgomery?”
With a roar Cade charged forward, ripping Eric from my body. Eric stumbled back and Cade maneuvered his body in front of mine.
“Stay the fuck away from her.”
Eric held his arms out, chuckling. He seemed oblivious to the anger rolling off of Cade in waves.
“Do you really think I’m going to listen to you? I always get what I want, Montgomery, and I want her.” He puckered his lips at me.
Cade lost it and there was nothing I could do to stop him.
He charged forward like a bull, tackling Eric to the ground as if they were on the football field and not in the middle of a party.
There was a collective gasp and then sounds of, “Fight, fight, fight!” broke out.
The guys rolled around, fists flying.
I didn’t know what to do, but I did think it was best if I stayed out of the way. If I tried to break up the fight I’d only end up getting hurt worse in the process and my head was already throbbing from the impact of Eric shoving me into the wall. I was probably going to end up with a knot on the back of my skull the size of a baseball.
The crowd grew even more in size—apparently fights were more interesting than boobs now, or else the girl had gotten dressed.
When I couldn’t see the fighting men anymore I eased out of the room heading for the front door.
I walked along the sidewalk and crossed into the street when I spotted Cade’s Jeep.
He’d figure out where I went. Well, I hoped…and preferably soon. It was extremely dark and none of the houses near his car had any outdoor lights.
I made sure to stay hidden before I landed myself into any more trouble.
I wanted this night to be over. I hadn’t expected much of tonight, but it had been even more of a disaster than I had anticipated.
As I sat on the sidewalk by myself tears sprung to my eyes.
This night felt so much like the one at the club, but I was far more afraid of Eric than I had been of Icky Guy. I got the impression that Eric wasn’t used to girls denying him. And Eric had this mean glint in his eye that was worrisome.
I wiped tears from cheeks.
I hadn’t even realized I was crying.
I dried my face but it was pointless. More tears replaced those. I was a blubbering mess. I always tried to be so put together, at least on the outside, but I was falling apart. Everything seemed to be catching up with me.
I guessed it was a good thing I’d told my mom I was ready to see a therapist again. My first appointment was tomorrow, and after this night I was going to need it.
I was shivering by the time I spotted Cade walking to the car.
“Rae?” He called into the night. “Rae? Where are you? Are you out here? Rae?”
“I’m here,” I stood up, sniffling.
“Oh, thank God.” He breathed a sigh of relief. He ran towards me and wrapped his arms around me. “I was so worried. I tore that whole house apart looking for you.”
“I had to get out of there,” I blubbered into his shirt. He was going to think I was a crybaby if I kept crying all over him.
“I’m so sorry.” He kissed the top of my head, smoothing his fingers through my hair. “I’m so sorry,” he began to chant over and over again. “I shouldn’t have left you.”
“I’m okay,” I assured him.
“Are you sure?” He tilted my head back to look at me and that’s when I winced. “What the fuck did he do?” Cade growled, his face transforming to an angry grimace.
“M-my head hit the wall,” I stuttered.
He cursed unintelligibly under his breath.
“We’ll go to the hospital and get you checked out.” He pushed passed me and opened the passenger door.
“I really think I’m fine,” I assured him.
“No.” His jaw was set. “I’m not taking you back to the dorms until I know you’re okay. We’re going to the fucking hospital, even if I have to drag you kicking and screaming.”
“Okay,” I agreed, figuring it was better to be safe than sorry.
“Thank you,” he said softly before I got in the car.
I didn’t know why he was thanking me. I should’ve been thanking him. He saved me tonight…but really, he saved me before that.
***
“Everything is fine.” The emergency room doctor assured Cade. To me she added, “There will be some soreness and a sizable bump, but you have no signs of a concussion.”
“Thank you.” Cade stood up and extended his hand for the doctor.
“Have a good evening,” she said before exiting the room.
A nurse came in a few minutes later with some papers for me to sign. Once that was done we were free to go.
Cade kept a hand on the small of my back as we headed for his car. It was like he was still afraid I might fall over.
I climbed into the big vehicle and exhaustion flooded my body. I wanted nothing more than to sleep for the next three days.
“Do you want to go back to your dorm or mine?” He asked, pulling out of the hospital parking lot. An ambulance zoomed past us, illuminating the car with its flashing lights.
“Mine,” I mumbled, fighting the urge to close my eyes.
“Are you mad at me?” He asked softly.
“No,” I gasped, “why would you think that?”
“You said you didn’t want to come back to my dorm,” he shrugged, “so I thought maybe you were mad at me.”
I wanted to go to my dorm, because frankly I wanted my own bed right now and I was seeing my new therapist early in the morning. I hadn’t told Cade about it yet. I wasn’t sure what he’d think and I was a bit scared to say anything to him.
“Nope, I just want my own bed,” I assured him. He looked at me doubtfully so I added, “I swear, Cade. I’m not mad. Trust me, if I was mad you’d know.”
He chuckled. “Okay, I believe you.”
“What’s Eric’s problem?” I asked, suddenly. I’d wanted to ask before, because there was obviously more there than I knew, but there hadn’t been a good opportunity.
Cade pinched the bridge of his nose, the red of the stoplight illuminating his face.
“Eric’s just a fucking asshole,” he spat. “He wanted to mess with you to piss me off. He’s jealous because scouts are interested in me and not him, and of course the whole team knows I have no desire to join the NFL, so that only pisses him off even more.” He sighed heavily. “I shouldn’t have gone to the party. I only went because Adam and Brady were supposed to be there and guess what?” He laughed humorlessly. “Neither of the fuckers showed up, so it was pointless for me to even go.�
� He looked at me sadly. “I promise not all of the guys on my team are like that.”
“I believe you.” I forced a smile because I was too tired to offer a real one. “You’re not like Eric and neither is Xander.”
He reached for my hand, entwining our fingers together. “I really am sorry about tonight.”
“Cade,” I said his name warningly, “you don’t have to keep apologizing to me.”
“I know,” he glanced at me, “but I want you to know I mean it.”
“I do,” I promised. “Please, don’t beat yourself up over this. Eric is just a shitty guy and that’s not your fault.”
“It’s my fault for leaving you,” he countered.
“And I told you to leave,” I reminded him. “It happened and it’s over with, okay?”
He sighed, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel to the beat of the song. “No promises.”
I was too tired to argue anymore and drifted to sleep. When I woke up the next morning I was in my bed and Cade’s scent lingered in the air.
twenty-three
I stood outside the therapist’s door. It was my turn to go back but I was frozen. I was tempted to turn around and run out the door screaming, “I can’t do this!”
But I never got that chance.
The door opened and I stumbled forward. A bright and cheery woman of no more than forty smiled at me. “You must be Ms. Wilder.”
“R-Rae,” I mumbled, my heart racing with fear. With the way I was sweating you would’ve thought the woman was trying to kill me.
“Rae,” she repeated, “it’s nice to meet you. I’m Dr. Daniels but you can call me Kathleen.”
“Kathleen,” I repeated, my pulse racing.
“Yes.” She closed the door and sat down in a chair, not behind a desk like my old therapist had. “Sit, please.” She motioned to the other unoccupied chair.
I scurried over and sat down. I figured to her I must’ve looked like a frightened rabbit.
She grabbed a notebook and pen off a table, depositing them in her lap. “How are you today?”
“Good, I guess.” I mumbled, staring out the window where morning sunlight streamed in the window.
Rae of Sunshine Page 21
