Mama Said

by Byrne, Wendy

  “Because of the spark or because of the fizzle?” She was getting caught up in his silly rhetoric.

  “No, because where would we go from there? We’re too opposite to ever sustain a relationship.”

  “Like you said before, I won’t be here long. That is, assuming we both manage to live until we can straighten this out. So what would be the harm in exploring the spark? It might help get this sex thing that’s wedged between us out of our system. Then we can concentrate on what we need to.” She tried to shrug innocently, but she wasn’t sure if she’d pulled it off, considering the skeptical look on his face.

  “I don’t do well with relationships, no matter how short lived they are.”

  “Will you stop already? It’s amazing you ever get laid.” She folded her arms across her chest. “You have gotten laid, haven’t you?”

  He looked so serious she was tempted to laugh, but didn’t. Something was bothering him today, and she’d bet it had nothing to do with sex.

  “But the other women knew how I was and didn’t care. I’m not sure you get me, and I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “I’m a grown-ass woman. You don’t have to protect me. Believe me, I’ve made some poor choices in men, and I’m still here to talk about it.” She had to be hands down the worst at picking partners, but still knew Shane was different. “And I wasn’t completely honest when I told you about Max. Well, I was in a way, but the part I neglected to say was that Max was only one on a long list of examples of why my family thinks I’m a dipstick.”

  He stopped his pacing long enough to smile. “How so?”

  “I’ve dated a lot of musicians. Inevitably the relationships ended badly, but there was one that made my family do more than their usual eye roll. Terence Archer, the guy who was hailed as the new Marvin Gaye.”

  “He hit it big a while back, but I haven’t heard anything about him lately.”

  “That’s because he’s a regular customer at rehab. I think he and Amy Winehouse might have been twins separated at birth—lots of talent, but a penchant for all things illegal. For him, rehab’s like a revolving door. He’s Robert Downey Jr. without the nice smile and charm.”

  “You dated him?”

  Good question. “Dated him? I lived with him for a year and a half. I checked him into rehab so many times we got put into the express lane. They knew what I’d say before I said it. Really, I had some serious codependency issues. I guess I thought I could somehow save him even though he didn’t want to be saved. When my brother Enrique got wind of what was going on, we had a major family blow-up—screaming, yelling, swearing—the usual family drama. Enrique’s first wife was an addict. Maybe things with me and Terence hit a little too close to home for my brother.”

  “You don’t have to tell me all this.” He shook his head. She could tell that in a perverse kind of way, he wanted her to continue. More than likely because it kept the focus on her rather than him.

  “Maybe I do. What I’m trying to say is when I do something, it’s always with the best intentions. But sometimes I screw it up. Badly.”

  “What’s going on?”

  She wanted to tell him everything, but the words stuck in her throat like a giant glob of peanut butter. What she was trying to say she couldn’t, because she knew where it would land her, and it wasn’t where she wanted to be. Not now.

  She had to remain steadfast with her decision. If he really was going to the Blues Stop tomorrow, she had every intention of letting Patrick know about it. Somebody had to have his back. And since Garrett was out of the country, and her skills were less than adequate, Patrick was the logical choice.

  She shrugged, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his neck. “I’m trying to say I’ve waited for this for a very long time. I say we just go for it and get all this sexual tension out of the way. At least one of those lingering issues between us will be put to rest. Besides, it might be like you said, all spark and no fire.”

  He kissed her long and hard, making the blood sizzle inside her veins. “We have been doing this dance for a very long time, haven’t we?”

  “At least since that first day when you were up close and personal with my underwear.”

  He smiled. “That was some delectable underwear.”

  “I have the Walmart special now, so don’t get your hopes up.”

  He kissed her neck, sending sparks flaming down the right side of her body.

  “I want to be clear. We can never make it long term.”

  “Does killing a mood just come naturally for you?”

  “I’m trying to set things right before everything gets out of control.” In contrast to his words, he pulled her even closer. “I can’t be what you want. I can’t be open about how I feel or what I want. I’m not like you.”

  “Maybe you need a little practice.” She sucked in the skin at the base of his throat.

  “Doubt it.” He wound his fingers through her hair. “But it doesn’t matter because with your talent you won’t be sticking around any place too long. You’re destined for bigger and better things.”

  “I’m flattered you think so highly of me, but not everybody wants to make it big. I’m aiming for being gainfully employed most of the time.”

  Then he kissed her. And everything around them seemed to disappear.

  “Hmmmm. You sure do know how to kiss. So I guess that means you’ve gotten laid a time or two.”

  He chuckled. “You’re not getting a virgin.” He nibbled at her neck.

  They made the trip upstairs in record time. She didn’t have time to think, only react. Which was good. She didn’t want to do any deep thinking right now.

  The door closed behind them. She wasn’t even sure who’d closed it. His lips and hands touched her all over. Her head spun out of control, and she panted like a dog. Not a particularly sexy look, no doubt, but she couldn’t seem to catch her breath. She’d waited forever for him to lose that tight rein on his control.

  “Which is it, nervous or scared?” His lips nipped at a sensitive spot below her ear.

  “What?” Her whole body quivered and they’d done nothing more than neck. She couldn’t imagine what the actual act itself would feel like.

  “You’re singing again.” His hands went on both sides of her jaw while he kissed her once again.

  “Maybe a little scared and nervous.” Geez, this singing thing was getting out of control. She was turning into a certifiable freak. If this went on much longer she’d be hopeless.

  “Me, too.”

  Somehow his admission made her feel a whole lot better. For once, they were coming at something from the same perspective. “Are we really going to do it this time?” She pulled the t-shirt out of his jeans.

  “Nothing’s going to stop me.”

  “Nothing? No macho code, or some other code you haven’t told me about?”

  He shook his head and pulled at her jeans as if on a mission. Clumsily, she hopped around trying to help get them off.

  “We need to get this out of our system.”

  “Absolutely. It can’t possibly be as good as it seems like it should be.” She huffed out a breath and rolled her eyes. “You’re sure you’re not going to stop?” If he did, she’d have to tackle him to the ground and have her way with him.

  The Levis he wore slung low on his hips hit him just below the belly button. With his midriff bare, every inch of his six-pack was exposed.

  She clenched her jaws tight to keep her mouth from dropping open and salivating. She’d probably look a little too anxious if she drooled.

  Flipping open the top snap on his pants, he let the exposed V reveal a little skin as well as a patch of dark hair swirling above his boxers.

  “Nothing could stop me now.” Smirking, his gaze traveled the length of her body, leaving a trail of heat in its wake.

  He grasped her elbows tightly. The force of his move made her gravitate closer.

  Purplish bruising still marred the corner of his left eye, but right n
ow that night she found him in the alley seemed like a lifetime ago. So much had changed between them, she couldn’t even remember where it was they’d started.

  Pure lust forced her up on her toes to plant a kiss at that bruised spot. Somehow she felt a need to pay homage to the beginning of the journey, the journey of discovery which had brought about as many questions as it had answered.

  She slid back down onto her heels, letting the few inches that separated them give her an opportunity to stare into his eyes, recalling that the first time she’d seen them how they had mesmerized her. Back then she’d seen the vulnerability he fought so hard to hide. Even on that first day when he tried to fire her somehow she’d known this would happen.

  He covered her lips with his. Demanding, he pulled her body in close with arms that snaked about her torso. Evidence of how much he was ready for this rubbed against her. She felt she might implode right then and there.

  A rumble of a sound came out of his chest. His tongue probed her mouth while his hands slinked through her hair. Plastered against him like a piece of paper caught at the end of a vacuum, her body bent to the curve he’d established.

  His hands slid up and down her back, pausing for a few moments to rub her torso against his. Every nerve ending in her body seemed to be charged with need and want.

  He ripped off her t-shirt in a quick, sure move and tossed it on the floor. Next his hand slipped along her back to unclasp her bra with the finesse of a man who’d done it a few hundred times before. Gliding the straps down her arms, he cast it aside and in the next breath his hands surrounded her breasts.

  His breath feathering against the skin of her neck, he said, “I need to slow down and savor this.” His thumb brushed at her nipple, causing it to distend immediately.

  “You’re right. Before you know it, the spark will be gone and it’ll just be a whole lot of fizzle. No flames.” She kissed the spot below his ear and was rewarded with a tremor followed by a quick intake of breath.

  “We owe it to ourselves to get this out of our system. It’s keeping us distracted from what we have to do.”

  “Absolutely. The last thing we need is to be distracted.”

  With those final words, they tumbled to the bed and lost each other in a sea of lips, hands, and mouths.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  Shane’s arms, legs, and insides still trembled. Thank God she’d ended up on top. He didn’t think he’d be able to move. Instead, he ran his hands down her back, enjoying the soft texture of her skin, the slight sway to her spine, and her incredible backside.

  His breath faltered. “Maybe I was a virgin. What in the hell was that?”

  “Either the best damn sex ever, or we’ve just invented something new.” When she kissed the spot where his neck met his shoulder, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation. “Then again, it was put a Tab A into Slot B kind of thing, even if it didn’t feel like anything that simple.”

  “Hell, no.”

  “I guess that blows your theory about it being all spark and no fire.”

  “Hell, yeah.”

  “Is that all you can do, swear?”

  “I’m still trying to catch my breath.”

  “Why? I did all the work.”

  Grunting, he reversed their positions so that he was on top. “Remember, I’ve been sick.” He kissed her, starting with her eyelids, her cheekbones, her ears, and then coming back to her mouth.

  “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. You have a rather delicate constitution, don’t you?” She stifled a giggle. “Really, it’s amazing you made it through Special Forces training with your tendency toward accidents.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him as if he were the only man in the world she’d ever looked at, let alone slept with.

  “Do I need to thank you again for saving my life?” When she nodded, he rubbed his lips against her neck. “You’re right. I would be dead without you. How can I ever repay you?”

  “I’m sure you can think of a way or two.”

  * * *

  Gabriella had officially lost track of time. Somehow day funneled into night. At some point they stumbled down the stairs and defrosted a couple of steaks and grilled them on the fancy grill-top stove, only to return to bed shortly thereafter. Now there was sun peeping inside the window once again.

  Delicious. There was something downright sinful about waking up naked in bed with a man trailing hot wet kisses down the length of her spinal column. Especially when he followed that by making the most wicked suggestions into her ear as visuals from the night before, still fresh in her mind, revved up her hormones.

  “Hey, wait a minute. I don’t think that last one’s physically possible.” She couldn’t keep the smile from her face as she stuffed her hands beneath the pillow under her head.

  “Wanted to see if you were paying attention.” He crept up the length of her back. Brushing away her hair, he planted a kiss at her nape.

  “You have quite an imagination. But I must say you’re awfully ambitious for this early in the morning.” She squirmed a bit on the bed as he was doing some more exploring with his hands and his mouth that was downright enticing.

  “My body’s thinking one thing, but my brain is a totally different story.” Although physically he was pressed against her, she sensed the preoccupation he was talking about.

  Everything she’d been able to push away for the last twenty-four hours came tumbling back. Despite the risks, all the pleading she’d done, the lunacy of it, he was going to go on this suicide mission. Alone. Short of drugging him, she couldn’t think of a way to stop him.

  Her fingertips traced a path down his arm. “Is it going to spoil the mood completely if I tell you something?” Seeing the satisfied look on his face, she figured this might be a good opportunity to fess up about Patrick. It was a last ditch effort to get him to see reason.

  “That depends on what it is. If you tell me you’re really a guy and had a sex change operation, yeah, I think I might be a little perturbed. Surprised, but perturbed.” He drew back the cover and planted a kiss on her nipple.

  “I’m being serious.” He’d distracted her so much last night she hadn’t wanted to think about Patrick and what he’d found out.

  He rolled his eyes and stared. “I’m ready for it. Let me have it. What’s going on?”

  “Shane, we have to trust somebody. We cannot do this alone.” It was the only way she could think about leading in to what she had to say.

  “Garrett will come through soon. He’s the only person I trust.”

  “But you’re going to the Blues Stop today. Alone.” Even saying it out loud made her anxious. Stepping that close to the city with a couple thousand police officers drooling at the idea of serving his head up on a platter didn’t exactly put her fears to rest.

  “I know what I’m doing.” He planted a kiss where her neck met her shoulder. “Do I wish Garret were here? Yes. But he’s not. It won’t be the first time I’ve done things on my own.”

  “Wait a minute. Haven’t you heard the expression there’s no ‘I’ in team?”

  “I never said we were a team. It’s a dictatorship, pure and simple.” He smiled and scooted out of bed. Slipping on his clothes, he continued, “I know this stuff, Gabriella. Believe me.”

  Tumbling out of bed, she yanked on a t-shirt and shorts, immediately regretting she hadn’t put on a pair of underwear as well. But what was a little discomfort compared to stopping the man she was in love with from going on a suicide mission? Oh, God. How had that happened? She was hopelessly head over heels in love with Shane O’Neil. The last thing she needed in her life was to fall in love with a man who was so twisted up in his own issues he didn’t know one end from the other.

  “I know you do. But sometimes a little help is necessary. Like now. Besides, I’m getting kind of good at this sleuthing business.” She wanted to lessen the intensity of the moment, but based on the expression it wasn’t working.

  “No. It�
�s too dangerous.” His voice echoed through the enormous bedroom. Translation: subject closed.

  “Then please give Patrick a chance. See if there’s anything he can do to help us.”

  His jaw clenched tight, he shook his head. He was so caught up in the past he couldn’t see logic.

  That meant she had to take things into her own hands. While it would have been better to garner his cooperation, she had no choice. They needed an ally, and right now Patrick was it.

  God, she hoped she was right about him.

  “Why aren’t you afraid of me?” he asked out of the blue.

  Tangled up in guilty thoughts, his question caught her off guard. “I’m not sure. Maybe I’m kind of stubborn.”

  “Kind of?” His eyebrow quirked and a smile evidenced itself.

  “Okay, a lot stubborn.”

  “Most people run for cover when I challenge them. You stand your ground.”

  “What is it you’re trying to say?”

  “This thing between us is complicated, isn’t it?”

  Now she knew what was bothering him—that same nagging feeling that had been rattling around in her heart for a while now. While she’d just now put a label on it, he was still struggling to do so.

  Was he ready to hear the words from her? Probably not. “That it is. Providing we’re not ready to kill each other, we have some great sex together.”

  “There’s more, isn’t there?” His expression turned serious. “We’re pretty much opposites clear down the line. I’m predictable as the sun, whereas you’re…ah…not.”

  She didn’t know how to respond. She had a pretty good idea where he was headed and it was scary territory for her. No doubt, it was absolutely terrifying for him.

  “We both speak what’s on our mind.” While he was trying to make sense of what was between them, she had come to the conclusion that it defied logic.

  He shook his head. “I’ve spent my life analyzing and hypothesizing based on probability and statistics. It’s what made me good in the Special Forces. I could look at a situation and based on past behavior I would know the enemy’s next move. With you, that’s impossible.”