Blackmail Boyfriend

by Chris Cannon

  Real date or not, that was rude, and disrespectful, and I was ten seconds away from telling those girls he was a post-op-transsexual and all his parts were not in working order. Or maybe I should post that information on YouTube. It was a satisfying fantasy. In reality, I stood off to the side with Jane and Nathan, and waited for Bryce to wrap up whatever he was doing.

  When he joined us, he said, “Hi.” And nothing more. Why did he have so much to say to those girls while I was only worth a one-syllable greeting? Was there any way I could realistically dump a cherry slushie in his lap during the show?

  “We should get in line for tickets.” Jane pointed to the ticket window where the line was ten people deep.

  “I already bought tickets.” Bryce retrieved the small white rectangles from his pocket, passed two to Nathan, one to me, and then headed for the entrance. No, “You look nice.” No indication he was glad to see me in any way. I couldn’t wait until I had an actual boyfriend who was glad to see me.

  Frustrated, I stalked into the theater. The siren-song scent of popcorn made my mouth water. Forget Bryce. All I needed to have a good time this evening was popcorn. I made a beeline for the concession stand.

  Bryce noticed I was no longer following him. He turned back and joined me in the concession line. “What are you doing?”

  “I want popcorn.”

  “Why would you eat popcorn when we have reservations at Giovanni’s after the show?”

  “Inhale.” I demonstrated by taking a deep breath. My stomach growled at the buttery scent.

  He blew out an exasperated breath.

  “Stop raining on my popcorn and go find us seats.”

  “Number one, that made no sense and two you can’t buy popcorn.”

  Okay. He’d officially crossed into crazy territory. “Watch me.”

  “No. I mean you can’t pay for the popcorn because we’re on a date.”

  So now he wanted to act like we were on a date? “You’re paying for my popcorn?”

  He pulled out his wallet. “Yes. Even though it makes no sense because—”

  “We’re going to dinner in two hours.” We moved forward in line. “For your information, I worked all day and I’m starving. Eating popcorn and dinner won’t be a problem. If it will make you happy, I’ll even order dessert.”

  …

  Bryce

  Haley ordered a large popcorn and a cherry slushie.

  “Seriously? You’re going to eat all of that?” I pointed to the giant gallon tub the movie attendant filled with popcorn.

  She ripped the wrapper off a straw and jammed it through the plastic lid of her drink. “FYI, that is not something a girl wants to hear. If you continue down this conversational path I may accidentally dump my cherry slushie on your head. Grab the popcorn, will you?” She snagged a handful of napkins from the dispenser and walked off.

  What was her problem? And had she just threatened me with a slushie? Strange girl. I paid for the unreasonably large tub of popcorn and followed Haley to where Nathan and Jane waited for us outside the theater door.

  “Where do you like to sit?” Jane asked.

  “At the top where no one can kick my seat.” And that was where I wanted to sit tonight, but since it was a date I should probably let Haley choose.

  “All the way at the top?” Haley asked.

  “Yes.”

  “I like to sit down at the bottom where you can put your feet on the rail.” She took a loud sip of her slushie.

  Jane grabbed Nathan’s hand and pulled him into the dark hallway leading to the stadium seating. “Let’s see what’s available.”

  We emerged in the half-light of the theater. I pointed at the row behind the railing. “Oh darn, the seats you like are taken. What a shame.”

  Haley bumped me with her elbow. “Watch it, I have a large cherry slushie, and I’m not afraid to use it.”

  That was twice she’d threatened me with a slushie. I laughed.

  Haley smiled and her eyes lit up. It was nice. She was different from the girls I was used to, but she wasn’t hard to get along with. I’d been worried about how we’d act on this fake date, but maybe I should relax. Maybe we could have fun together.

  “Let’s sit over there.” Jane climbed the steps and stopped halfway, shuffling into the exact center of the row of seats.

  “She has to sit dead center, or she gets motion sickness,” Haley whispered.

  “You’re making that up.”

  “I’m not.” Haley headed up the steps in front of me. The natural sway of her hips had me thinking nonfriend thoughts.

  Somehow, I ended up sitting between Haley and Jane while Nathan sat on his date’s other side. After a preview for a chick flick Jane leaned over me to speak with Haley. “We have to see that.”

  “Please, they’re going to make it look like that woman’s life has no meaning until she finds the right man and rides off into the sunset with him.” Haley snorted. “I’ll pass.”

  “I watched that zombie movie for you,” Jane said. “I had to sleep with the lights on for a week.”

  “Fine. I’ll do the chick flick.”

  I didn’t want to be in the middle if they were going to talk during the movie. “Let’s trade seats.”

  “Are you one of those no-talking-during-the-movie people?” Haley asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Fine.”

  We both stood, and she squeezed past me, brushing against me in a nonfriend type of way. Had she meant anything by that, or had it been an accident? Her scent, something flowery, drifted up to me for a moment before the popcorn smell overshadowed it. I wanted to lean in, close enough to smell her perfume again. How would she react to that? Earlier, I’d seen how irritated she was when I was talking to those other girls, which indicated this could be a real date if I wanted it to be. Did I want that? No, that had “bad idea” written all over it. Haley wasn’t my type. And she sat down, and immediately picked up her conversation with Jane…no smile…no flirting…which meant she had no agenda. Just as well. Why complicate the situation?

  Ten minutes of previews later, and I’d forgotten what I’d come to see. Then there was the sales pitch for popcorn and candy. My family never bought popcorn at the show, because it made more sense to go out afterward and eat real food.

  Maybe if I kept repeating that mantra, the smell of Haley’s popcorn would stop bothering me. I glared at the giant tub on her lap. The popcorn kernels shone with something that wasn’t real butter. Probably some petroleum byproduct that could double as car wax.

  She caught me staring. “I’m willing to share.”

  “I’ve never had popcorn at the show.” Wait. Why had I told her that?

  Haley’s eyebrows shot up. “You have led a deprived life.”

  I laughed out loud. My father insisted on having the best money could buy. “No. I haven’t.”

  “Try some. I insist.”

  I grabbed a few pieces of popcorn. I could feel the grease on my fingers, which made me want a napkin, but I ate it anyway. Salt and something that was not quite butter melted in my mouth. It was the best popcorn I’d ever eaten. I reached in the tub for more.

  “Told you so.” Haley shoved a handful of popcorn in her mouth and grinned as she chewed.

  Music blared, and the movie started. Men dressed in pirate costumes battled with swords while swinging from the rigging of the ship. Did they expect us to believe pirates fought this way? Real pirates probably stayed firmly on the ground and I doubt they wore eyeliner.

  …

  “That was awesome.” Haley poked me in the shoulder. “You liked it.”

  “I did.” I peered into the popcorn bucket on her lap. “I can’t believe we ate all of that.”

  “Yes we did,” Haley said. “Next time, we’ll have to get the extra-large.”

  “Next time?” What was she talking about? This was our one agreed upon one date… But we were having fun. So going to the movies again wasn’t a terrible idea.


  Her smile flat-lined.

  Damn it. I hadn’t meant that like it sounded. “Sure, and maybe next time I’ll even try a slushie.”

  Nathan stood. “Come on let’s go.”

  Jane sat forward. “We usually wait until everyone clears out, so we don’t have to dodge elbows.”

  “Dodge elbows?” Nathan asked.

  “You’re both tall,” Jane said, “so you’ve never been elbowed in the head.”

  “It hurts,” Haley said. “And then the guy laughs, so it’s embarrassing, too.”

  My shoulders tensed. “What kind of jerk hits a girl and then laughs about it?”

  “You know Trent Harper from the tennis team?” Jane asked.

  I nodded.

  “He’s that kind of jerk.”

  I didn’t like Trent. He acted like his father owned the town instead of the bank. “Why am I not surprised?”

  “It’s cleared out,” Nathan said. “Let’s go.”

  I followed Haley down the stairs, keeping watch for flying elbows and plotting how I could accidentally hit Trent with a tennis racket the next time we practiced.

  …

  Haley

  When we reached the parking lot, I wasn’t sure where to go. Turn right and pretend I was following Jane, or tag along with Bryce?

  “I’m parked over there.” Bryce pointed to the side of the theater.

  Problem solved. If he was pointing out the location of his car, he meant for me to ride with him. Jane and Nathan veered off and headed to their car.

  On the drive to Giovanni’s, he seemed content to listen to the radio, which was fine with me because the happy-fun vibe from the show had stretched a little thin. When we reached the restaurant there’d be time for small talk. I leaned back into the comfortable leather seat, which seemed to wrap around me, and stifled a yawn.

  “Am I boring you?” Bryce asked.

  “I woke up at six this morning to plant mums and didn’t get off until four.”

  “That’s longer than a day at school.”

  “I try not to think about it that way. I need to pay my dad back the two fifty I owe him, so I’m going to have to work extra for the next five weeks. It sucks, but I want my car painted.”

  “What’s happening with that?”

  “My insurance required three quotes. The third one came in Friday. As long as the insurance company agrees to pay the difference, it should be painted by the end of next week.” A fresh round of anger directed toward Brittney made me clench my teeth.

  “Let me know when you need a check and who to make it out to.”

  I appreciated that he’d agreed to pay half, but the ease with which he was able to pay, while I had to work my butt off, irked me.

  …

  When we entered through the ornate wooden doors of Giovanni’s, the scent of Italian spices made my mouth water. We wove through the people crowding the lobby to reach the hostess desk, where there was a line.

  “If all these people have reservations,” Jane said, “we’re doomed.”

  “Why don’t you find a place to stand, while I check out the wait time,” Nathan said.

  We found a corner area to stand in. Since this wasn’t a real date, I tried to ignore how wide Bryce’s shoulders looked in his black leather jacket. Didn’t work. He was gorgeous, and I wasn’t the only one who noticed. Females all over the lobby glanced his way. It’s like he was the male equivalent of catnip.

  It’s not like he was flirting with any of them. Wait a minute. Yes, he was. He’d made eye contact with a voluptuous blonde and now he was smiling at her. Of course, she smiled back.

  “Would you mind not doing that?” I asked in as pleasant a tone as I could manage. Which meant I sounded like a hag.

  He turned the full force of his smile on me. “Not do what?”

  I grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer so people wouldn’t overhear. “I know this isn’t a real date, but no one else here does. When you smile at other girls, it makes me look like a doormat. Knock it off.”

  Chapter Nine

  Haley

  I released my hold on his shirt and he backed up a step. “No one else has ever noticed.”

  “Maybe that’s because you’ve dated girls with low IQs.”

  Nathan showed up, interrupting our conversation. “Our table will be ready in ten minutes.” He glanced back and forth between Bryce and me. “What did I miss?”

  “Bryce reverted to his man-whore tendencies and discovered Haley is more observant than his usual dates,” Jane said.

  Nathan tilted his head and glanced around the room. “Let me guess, it was the blonde in the red dress.”

  My jaw dropped. There were over a dozen hot girls in the lobby. “How did you know?”

  “She’s his type.” The simple statement was like nails on a chalkboard.

  The statuesque blonde in the sexy dress, which exposed more cleavage than a Vegas showgirl, was his type. I was not.

  “We’re going to the bathroom.” Jane grabbed my elbow and propelled me through the crowd toward the side hall where the restrooms were located.

  The swinging door marked Ladies Lounge had barely closed behind us, when Jane said, “Bryce is an idiot.”

  “He likes what he likes, and it’s not me.” I knew I was wallowing, but felt I deserved a little me-time.

  Jane huffed out a breath. “Please, you two were having a good time earlier. I know it. You know it. He has to know it.”

  “So?”

  The bathroom door swung open. We moved over by the makeup mirrors, to stay out of the way. Jane pulled a tube of lip gloss from her pocket. “Might as well, since we’re in here.”

  I retrieved a similar tube of gloss from my pocket, which Jane had given me, claiming it wasn’t her color. Since it was almost the exact color she used, I think it was her way of getting me to wear makeup. I smeared the sticky pink stuff on my lips and frowned.

  Jane whacked me on the arm. “Enough pouting. You don’t need Bryce’s approval to have a good time. If he’s annoying, ignore him. Or better yet, call him on it, but don’t let it ruin your night.”

  “You’re pushy.”

  “Nathan said the same thing to me earlier this evening.” She grinned. “I prefer to think of it as assertive. Now let’s go have a good time.”

  “Do I have a choice?”

  “No.” Jane pushed me toward the door. I emerged in the hallway laughing and bumped into some guy’s chest. My gaze traveled up, taking in a cleft chin, cute smile, and dark brown eyes. “Sorry.”

  “No problem.” He grinned down at me and then continued down the hall to the men’s restroom.

  “That’s what I’m talking about,” Jane said from behind me. “He thought you were cute, otherwise he would’ve been annoyed.”

  Maybe she was right. Maybe I should bump into cute strangers more often.

  Bryce stood at the entrance to the hallway with a puzzled expression on his face.

  “What’s up?” I asked.

  “Our table is ready.” He led us to a table on the far left wall of the dining room. Nathan stood and pulled out Jane’s chair. I didn’t bother to wait and see if Bryce planned on doing the same thing. Instead, I pulled my chair out and sat.

  The why-did-you-do-that look Bryce gave me as he settled in his own chair, told me my actions irritated him, which sorta gave me a warm fuzzy.

  “I would’ve pulled out your chair.”

  I snatched a roll from the breadbasket and broke it in half. “I’ve never understood that tradition. Unless the chair weighs a hundred pounds, why would I need your help?” I bit into the roll, setting the other half on my bread plate.

  I ignored him and opened the slick black menu in front of me. For spite, I considered ordering the most expensive item on the menu. Too bad a forty-dollar entree wouldn’t make him blink an eye.

  “Want to split something with me?” Jane asked.

  I assumed she was talking to Nathan. My menu bounced as Jane flicked it. “Ea
rth to Haley, do you want to split something?”

  “Why would you split something?” Nathan asked.

  “I like to try different things. When I come here with my family, we usually split whatever we order three ways.”

  Nathan set his menu down. “Then why didn’t you ask me?”

  “It doesn’t seem like something you ask someone on a first date; it’s more of a family thing.”

  “And Haley is family?” Nathan asked.

  “With those two older brothers, she needs an honorary sister.” Jane pointed at something on the menu. “If you’re interested, I want to try this pasta with asparagus and lemon cream sauce.”

  “Lemon sauce?” His disgusted tone conveyed the answer.

  “I’m guessing that’s a no. Is Haley up to bat now?”

  “Feel free.” Nathan gestured across the table toward me.

  “I’ll try the lemon sauce, but I’m ordering the ravioli.”

  Jane set her menu down. “Works for me.”

  The waiter stopped by our table, and we placed our orders. Jane and Nathan chatted. Bryce didn’t seem inclined to start a conversation, so I did. “Do you come here a lot with your family?”

  Bryce chose a roll from the basket and cut it into even halves. “My father likes to come here on Sundays when he’s done at the office.”

  Weird. “I didn’t think people who wore suits worked on Sundays.”

  He peeled the foil off the butter, frowning when he managed to get some on his thumb. After wiping his hand on his napkin, he went back to work on the roll. “I don’t know about all people who wear suits, but my father works seven days a week.”

  I wrinkled my nose. “I’d rather have less money and more time.”

  Bryce froze with the roll halfway to his mouth. “No one wants less money.”

  “I didn’t say I wanted to relinquish all my possessions and live in a cardboard box. Given a choice, I’d rather work forty hours a week and have weekends off. That way I’d have time to enjoy my life.”

  “Money is what allows you to enjoy life.” Bryce stated this like it was his family mantra.

  “As long as I have enough money to cover the basic necessities with some left over for fun, I’m good.”

  Nathan pointed his butter knife at me. “Define basic necessities.”