An Offer You Can't Refuse

by Jill Mansell

  Since they’d already seen the tears, Sally let them slide down her face. ‘S-sorry, I’m not pregnant. Just having a b-bit of an off day.’

  ‘Oh, love, go on, let it all out. Here, have a tissue, don’t go dripping mascara on that lovely shirt of yours. There there, don’t worry. So, boyfriend trouble, is it? Is he giving you the runaround?’

  Everyone in the waiting room was agog and staring. All the magazines had been put down. Mortified but unable to help herself, Sally sobbed noisily for a couple of minutes before blowing her nose and shaking her head. ‘I’m so embarrassed.’

  ‘Good,’ a middle-aged man said crisply. ‘Now you know how we feel, having to sit here knowing that you know all our shameful secrets.’

  ‘Like piles,’ mused the older man next to him.

  ‘Speak for yourself,’ a girl in a purple sweater retorted. ‘I don’t have piles.’ As several people smiled she said, ‘I have an irritable bowel.’

  ‘And my boyfriend isn’t giving me the runaround.’ Sally took yet another tissue from Betty and wiped her eyes. ‘Because I don’t have a boyfriend. And my flatmate’s being really mean… I don’t think he w-wants me there any more but I d-don’t know why and I just feel like such a f-f-failure…’

  ‘Men are nothing but trouble. You’re better off without them.’ The girl in the purple sweater said, ‘My last boyfriend broke my nose. He hit me across the bedroom then told me it was my fault for brushing my hair in an annoying way.’

  Sally shook her head. ‘I’m useless with men. I bought my last boyfriend a course of tooth-whitening treatment and he ended up running off with the dental nurse.’

  ‘My husband’s a drinker,’ Betty chimed in. ‘Drinking’s all he ever does. Forty years we’ve been married and he’s never managed to hold down a job for more than a week.’

  Competitiveness stirring inside her, Sally wiped her nose and said, ‘One of my exes drank too. And another one jilted me practically at the altar!’

  The girl in the purple sweater, not to be outdone, blurted out, ‘I came home from work once and my ex was in the garden pegging out the washing.’

  Everyone in the waiting room looked at her. Maureen said, ‘Isn’t that a good thing?’

  ‘He was doing it wearing my best bra and knickers.’

  God, that was something she’d never even considered. Sally said mournfully, ‘I’m better off on my own.’

  ‘Come on, not all men are awful.’ Maureen rose spiritedly to their defence. ‘My son’s a lovely lad. He’d make any girl happy. In fact, you two would make a wonderful couple. I could introduce you to him if you like.’ She was nodding eagerly at Sally.

  Next to her, leaning back, Betty was mouthing, ‘Gay.’

  Sally stammered, ‘Um… thanks…’

  ‘The thing is, even when you think people are happy together, chances are they aren’t. Everyone just likes to pretend.’ Holding up the copy of Hello! she’d been reading, the girl in purple declared, ‘This magazine’s six months old. Look at these two on the cover, wrapped round each other like a couple of eels. But are they still together now? No they’re not. And it’s the same all the way through the magazine! Everyone’s split up since then, split up and sold their stories about how hellish their lives together really were, and you’ve wasted all that time envying them… I mean, what is the point?’

  ‘By ’eck, love, steady on.’ An elderly man in a flat cap spoke for the first time. He shook his head and said good-naturedly, ‘There’s plenty of happy marriages out there, trust me.’

  The girl in purple cocked a disbelieving eyebrow. ‘Could have fooled me.’

  ‘You’ve just got off to a bad start, pet.’ The man’s eyes crinkled at the corners; he sounded like the voice-over in the Hovis ads. ‘Everyone has someone who’s right for them. It’s just a question of keeping going till you find them.’

  ‘I’d have better luck finding the Loch Ness monster,’ said the girl in purple.

  ‘You’ll get there in the end.’ His smile was genial. ‘And let me tell you, it’s worth it. You might not think it to look at me now, but I were a bit of a jack-the-lad in my day. I had my share of girlfriends. Never saw the point in settling down, I were having too much fun. Then I met Jessie. She worked in a bakery in Bradford and the moment I walked into that shop and saw her behind the counter I knew she were the one for me. Eyes like stars, she had. Before I even heard her speak I fell for her, hook, line and sinker. We started courting and after a month I asked her to marry me. Nobody could believe it, not the family, not me mates down the pit, not the lasses I’d been out with before Jessie came along. But I knew it were the right thing to do, you see. I’d found the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.’

  The whole of the waiting room was on the edge of their seats, listening to him tell the story in his simple heartfelt way.

  ‘And?’ prompted the girl in purple.

  ‘We’ve been married forty-nine years, pet. And happier together than I ever thought possible. My Jessie means all the world to me.’

  It all sounded too perfect. Sally frowned. ‘Don’t you ever argue?’

  ‘Argue?’ The man chuckled. ‘Of course we argue! Hasn’t been a single day when we haven’t had a fight about summat. And let me tell you, I wouldn’t have it any other way.’

  BRRRRR went the buzzer, making everyone jump.

  ‘Mr Allerdyce, please, to room four,’ Dr Willis’s voice came over the intercom.

  ‘That’s me.’ Having leaned heavily on his walking sticks in order to haul himself to his feet, Mr Allerdyce tipped his cap to everyone in the waiting room.

  When he’d made his way out and the door had closed behind him, the middle-aged man said, ‘His wife probably can’t stand the sight of him.’

  Everyone in the waiting room turned and gave the man a stony look.

  ‘Sorry.’ He flinched under the glare of their disapproval. ‘Just a joke.’

  ‘Are you divorced?’ said the girl in purple.

  He looked surprised. ‘Yes, I am.’

  The girl nodded. ‘I thought so.’

  Chapter 50

  ‘You’re leaving the practice?’ Sally couldn’t believe it; she loved working for Dr Willis. Her whole world was crumbling around her. What had she done to deserve this?

  ‘Isn’t it exciting? We can’t wait.’ Emily beamed across the dinner table at her. ‘Skipton’s where I grew up, all my family are there, it’s just such a wonderful place to live. Everyone’s so friendly, not like down here. Do you know the Dales?’

  ‘Not really.’ Sally was still struggling to take in the news. The other doctors were OK, pleasant enough, but Roger Willis was her favorite. The practice wouldn’t be the same without him.

  ‘It was Emily’s idea.’ Roger refilled their wine glasses. ‘She spotted the ad in Pulse, organized a trip up to Skipton, even dragged me round the estate agents before I knew I’d got the job. We’d always planned to retire up there,’ he went on. ‘But this way we’ve got a few years of me working in the area first, becoming a real part of the community.’

  ‘That’s why we asked you over here this evening. We wanted you to be the first to know. Here, take a look at the place we’re buying.’ Bursting with excitement, Emily produced a glossy brochure. ‘All my life I’ve dreamed of living in a house like this.’

  They were moving to Yorkshire and they expected her to be pleased about it. Sally’s heart was in her boots but she forced herself to take the brochure and look interested.

  The place was spectacular, a sprawling converted farmhouse on a hillside with lovingly tended gardens and stunning views across the valley. There were five bedrooms, three of them en-suite, and a kitchen the size of a tennis court. There was even a granny annex, a game room and—crikey—an actual tennis court.

  Sally said,
‘It’s fantastic. Can I come with you?’

  Emily paused, a forkful of fish pie halfway to her mouth. ‘Really?’

  Oh no, it was like the middle-aged divorced chap attempting humor in the waiting room this morning. ‘I was joking,’ said Sally.

  ‘Oh.’ Emily’s face fell. ‘Shame.’

  ‘Sorry?’

  ‘No, my fault, you got our hopes up there for a minute.’ Emily waggled her free hand. ‘It’s just that the current receptionist is the wife of the chap Roger’s replacing. They’re moving down to Cornwall. So the practice needs a replacement… but of course you wouldn’t want to leave London, silly of me to even think it! Although you’re welcome to come up and stay with us whenever you like. In fact you must! You’ll fall in love with the place, I know you will. The people are so warm and sociable, it’s like a different world up there.’

  Sally gazed again at the photographs in the glossy brochure. Was this a sign?

  Was Yorkshire a different world?

  Was it fate that had brought Mr Allerdyce into the surgery this morning with his heart-warming tale of true love? She had looked through his medical notes after his visit and discovered that the wife he adored was crippled with osteoporosis and confined to a wheelchair, but that with the help of the family, Mr Allerdyce was able to care for her devotedly. Reading this and picturing the two of them together had sent Sally into the loo for another little weep. Honestly, it was a wonder she was able to see out of these eyes, they’d squeezed out so many tears today.

  ‘When we wake up in the morning we’ll look out of our bedroom window and see all that.’ Roger Willis proudly tapped the photograph of rolling green hills dotted with sheep.

  Sally drank it in. Sheep. How many people could look out of their window in London and see sheep?

  All Creatures Great and Small. That had been one of her favorite TV programs. And she’d always had a secret weakness for Postman Pat. There were hills and sheep galore in Greendale.

  Was this all simply a coincidence or could it be a sign that she was meant to live somewhere hilly and popular with sheep? Where men were men and true love still existed? Where people called you lass and made you welcome?

  Heartbeat. Was that set in Yorkshire? Yes it was.

  Where the Heart Is? Tick, ditto.

  The Royal. Ha, yes, so was that. And there was a reason why so many feel-good cozy Sunday evening dramas were set in Yorkshire. It was because Yorkshire was a cozy feel-good place to live.

  And there was a Harvey Nichols in Leeds…

  ‘Hello? Sally?’ Roger was holding the dish of fish pie, waving the ladle to attract her attention. Having caught it, he said jovially, ‘What are you thinking? You’re miles away!’

  ‘I’m not.’ Sally moved her fork to one side, allowing him to spoon another helping of delicious fish pie onto her plate. ‘But you never know. I could be.’

  ***

  ‘I’ve got some good news for you,’ said Sally.

  ‘Oh?’ Gabe halted in the doorway, clearly surprised to see her still up at one o’clock in the morning.

  ‘Great news. Happy news. You’re going to be thrilled. It might even make you crack a smile.’ Sally was drinking Pernod and water, which was unbelievably disgusting but she’d been in need of Dutch courage and there hadn’t been anything else alcoholic in the flat. Talking things through with Lola would have helped but Lola was away for the night, being wined and dined at a publisher’s dinner being held in a hotel in Berkshire.

  She had to do this on her own. Well, with the aid of Pernod.

  ‘Go on then,’ said Gabe. ‘Thrill me.’

  Having psyched herself up to tell him, Sally abruptly lost her temper.

  ‘See? See? You’re still doing it!’ Her eyes narrowed and her voice rose as Gabe chucked his jacket over the back of the chair. ‘Even now! I’m trying to tell you something that you’ll want to hear and you’re being all distant and sarcastic.’

  ‘I’m sorry. Right, I’m listening. See?’ Gabe made his face deliberately blank. ‘Not being sarcastic at all.’

  And now he was treating her like a child. Her stomach in knots, Sally blurted out, ‘Well, don’t worry, soon you can be as sarcastic as you like because I won’t be here to see it. I’m moving out.’

  A muscle was going in Gabe’s jaw. For a couple of seconds he just stood there looking at her. Then he turned away. ‘Right. Good for you.’

  ‘Is that it?’ Adrenaline was sloshing through her body. ‘Is that all you’re going to say?’

  ‘What else do you want me to say? OK, I’ve got something. Have you told Lola yet?’

  ‘What?’ Sally took a step back. ‘No, because she’s not here. I’ll tell her tomorrow when she gets back.’

  Gabe raised an eyebrow. ‘And how do you think she’ll react?’

  ‘Oh, come on, it’s not that big a deal!’

  ‘Sure about that?’

  ‘We’re all adults!’

  ‘But you haven’t mentioned it before now, have you?’

  ‘Because I only decided tonight! My God, why are you being like this? I’m leaving.’ Pernod flew out of Sally’s glass as she flung her arms wide. ‘Isn’t that enough? I thought you’d be delighted to have me out of here. And what’s this about?’ Agitatedly jabbing a finger at his discarded jacket, she cried, ‘You spend your life nagging me but it’s OK for you to act like a slob. Would it kill you to hang that up?’

  Slowly and deliberately, Gabe picked up the jacket. As he made his way past her he murmured, ‘Poor sod, does he know what he’s letting himself in for?’

  ‘Will you shut up? I’ve worked for him for the last two years, haven’t I? So I can’t be that unbearable!’

  Gabe stopped dead. ‘Worked for who?’

  ‘Dr Willis!’

  He gazed at her in utter disbelief. ‘You’re having an affair with Dr Willis?’

  ‘What?’ Sally let out a shriek. ‘For crying out loud, what are you on? How could you think I’m having an affair with Dr Willis?’

  ‘But… but…’

  ‘He’s old.’ Sally wailed. ‘And he’s married.’

  ‘So who are you moving in with?’

  ‘Dr Willis. And his wife. But I won’t be living with them, not in the same house. It’s a self-contained annex.’ Sally mimed self-containment with her hands. ‘When I wake up in the morning I’ll see sheep.’

  Gabe was gazing at the almost empty glass of Pernod. ‘How many of those have you had?’

  ‘One. It’s vile. And can we please stop arguing now, because I’m not moving out tonight. I’m going to be here for another four weeks yet.’

  He shook his head in confusion. ‘I don’t understand the bit about the sheep. At all.’

  ‘There’s loads of them, all over the hills.’

  Gabe said evenly, ‘Where are these sheep? Where is this house?’

  ‘Near Skipton. In Yorkshire. That’s where I’m going to be living.’ As she said the words, Sally wondered if she really wanted to go. ‘Living and working. It’s a fresh start.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Why? Because I’m hoping it’s going to be nicer than living in London. My boss is moving to Yorkshire and he offered me a job in his new practice. You don’t want me here in this flat, you’ve made that perfectly obvious. Of course I’ll miss Lola, but it’s not going to stop me… Skipton’s a really friendly place, I’ll meet loads of new people, the views are—’

  ‘So what happened? You and Nick broke up? Or is he moving up there too?’

  For a split second she couldn’t work out who he meant. ‘Nick who?’

  Gabe gave her a look. ‘Come on. I know.’

  Sally didn’t know what he knew, but she felt herself flushing anyway. Great waves of heat and shame swept over her. If
Gabe knew, that meant Nick must have told him. Except… oh God… it was far more likely that Nick would have told Lola who in turn had told Gabe, so basically they’d all been laughing at her behind her back.

  ‘OK, I get it.’ As her flush deepened Gabe said dismissively, ‘You’re moving up there together.’

  ‘What are you talking about?’ Sally stared at him; how could he even think this? ‘I’m not having an affair with Lola’s dad!’

  ‘You mean it’s over?’

  ‘I mean it never happened!’

  ‘No? Take a look in the mirror.’ Gabe’s tone was triumphant. ‘If it’s not true, tell me why you’ve gone redder than a traffic light.’

  ‘Oh, I’m sorry, are we in court?’ That was it; Sally lost the last vestige of control. ‘Are you the lawyer for the prosecution? Not that it’s any business of yours, but just to shut you up and get you off my back, the reason I’ve gone red is because, OK, I did have a bit of a crush on Lola’s dad a while back and I did make a complete idiot of myself one afternoon telling him I liked him. But he was very nice about it and turned me down really gently, and I don’t know what makes you think it ever went any further than that, but it definitely didn’t. And if you don’t mind, I’d really prefer it if Lola never found out.’ Unable to meet his gaze, she said, ‘Can we stop talking about this now? It’s humiliating.’

  No reply. Sally carried on staring at the floor. Finally she heard Gabe say, ‘There’s nothing going on between you?’

  Her hands clenched in frustration. ‘For God’s sake! Isn’t that what I just said?’

  ‘Sorry. Just checking. The afternoon you made a bit of an idiot of yourself…’