by Matilda Hart
He had to find a way to get her alone. He needed to strengthen the ties between them, and if she were anything like he was, she would not tolerate this distance well. He finished his drink and helped himself to a taper to light his way up to bed. Turning from closing the door behind him, he saw a faint light moving down towards where the kitchen might be. Which of the servants was still up at this hour? He followed, mostly out of curiosity, and reached the hallway just as the mysterious night walker turned to go down the stairs.
“Your Grace!” Juliana’s shocked voice whispered his name. “I did not know that anyone was still awake.”
He approached her, crowding her in the small space. “Why have you been avoiding me, Juliana?” he asked, cutting to the chase.
She looked him in the eye for a second, and then shunted her gaze to his chin.
“We agreed…” she began, but he interrupted her.
“Have you missed me, Juliana?” he wondered, reaching out to touch her cheek. “Because I have missed you.”
He pulled her chin up, forcing her to meet his gaze, and the hunger he saw there shook him. He bent his head, knowing it was probably still much too soon for such liberties, and knowing that any of the servants, or any other person who might still be about could stumble upon them, but unable to stop the impulse that had him brushing her soft lips with his own. Her breath was sweet as she gasped into his mouth, and he took her unintended offering, sliding his tongue inside to taste her for the first time.
“Gray!” she exclaimed, pushing against his chest with her free hand. “This is madness!”
“Sweet madness, if it means I can taste your lips one more time, my jewel,” he said and captured her lips again.
It was clear that she was an innocent at the ways of lovemaking, and the blood heated in his veins at the thought that he would be the one to show her the path to sensual pleasure. She let him lick her lips, and when he sucked her tongue gently into his mouth, she groaned and collapsed against him. He reached around to hold her securely in his arms, and rested his mouth against her forehead, helping to soothe her, willing his own desires to subside.
“I will invite your parents to visit, so I can speak to your father, Juliana,” he promised. “And I will tell mama tomorrow. I cannot wait any longer, and I will not permit you to torture me again as you have this past week.”
She raised her head languidly, and it amused him to see how physically undone she was by mere kisses, though the fire in her eyes was not dimmed.
“No more than I will allow you to tease me as you have done, sir,” she said sharply.
He smiled, and she smiled back at him, and then they were kissing each other again. This time, she followed his lead, and when he licked her lips, she reciprocated. When he sucked on her tongue, she sucked his. When he licked her inside her open mouth, she sent her tongue searching inside his own. He loved how bold she was, and the fire that she kept well hidden in public was sending them both up in flames. The feeling of her tongue following his around his mouth made him hard as stone, and he was sure she would feel it if he held her too closely to his body.
He pulled away from her enticing lips, and stepped back from the warmth of her body. He needed to keep his wits about him, despite the lust raging through his body.
“Why are you creeping about at this time of night?” he wondered. “Are you still feeling unwell?”
“No,” she said. “In fact, I am hungry, which doesn’t usually happen with these headaches unless I am feeling better. I was just going to get something more to eat. The soup and crackers was not enough.”
He chuckled. “Shall I go with you, then?” When she cast a suspicious eye over his face, he added mischievously, “You know, in case there is something on a shelf that you need but cannot reach on your own.”
Now it was her turn to chuckle. “You are incorrigible, Gray,” she said. “I shall be fine. Go up to bed. Your mama is right...you do look peaky around the eyes.”
She reached up to caress his cheek just below his left eye, and he leaned into her touch.
“If I do, it is not because I keep late hours. It is because I cannot sleep for thinking of you.” It was nothing less than the truth.
“Well, I hope you sleep well tonight, Your Grace,” she remarked coolly, withdrawing her hand, once again in control of her emotions, “now that you have seen for yourself that I am well, and you have satisfied yourself as to my continued interest.”
He was being dismissed, and it amused him, but he found that he loved her bossy ways. She was just what he needed...not a doormat, but not a martinet, like his mother was.
“Very well, Miss Lockhart,” he replied, playing along. “I shall see you at breakfast.”
He desperately wanted to kiss her again, but recognized the steel that was once again holding her erect and away from him. He settled for a smile, and turned, making his way up the wide staircase.
Chapter 11
The next month passed with Juliana in a much better frame of mind, though her body still threw fits every time she was anywhere near the man who had taught her more of what true passion was about than either of the suitors before him. Of course, neither of those men had been interested in her pleasure, but only in their own, which had meant that she had been careful never to be caught alone with either of them. Now, though, she wished that she could steal another moment alone with Gray. She had enjoyed the lessons in kissing that he had taught her at the top of the basement stairs three weeks prior, and the way her body stirred and her pulse raced when he looked her way, or smiled at her, told her she was more than ready for the next lesson in passion.
However, she would need to hold on to her control. Gray had written to her father, asking his permission to address her, and had received both her parents’ blessing. His mother also knew, though she had been suspiciously silent on the subject. There was to be a house party, to which her parents were invited so that they could reacquaint themselves with the woman who would once again become a part of their family. Juliana understood from Deborah that it would coincide with the visit of Lord Richard Talbot, of whom she had heard talk briefly five weeks previously, and whom she vaguely remembered.
Dinner was over, and the Dowager Duchess was presiding over the after dinner card game among the young people, refusing to join in as she was not of a mind to pay close attention to her hand. She was very clearly there to chaperone their activities, and they all knew that when she announced herself ready to retire, they would also have to go up to bed. Still, it was a chance to compete against Gray, to show him that she could hold her own, in cards and in relationships. She was still not yet willing to name her feelings for him, though she admitted that they grew daily. He was a patient and loving son to a mother who would have tried her patience to the peak. He was an indulgent brother-in-law, and an unfailingly cordial host to his cousin and herself.
“Juliana, stop woolgathering, for heaven’s sake!”
Deborah’s impatient voice pulled her back to the card table, but she had no idea what she had been doing before she went off into the world of her thoughts, and she made a play that lost her the next round. Eventually, because she had lost interest in the game, and Deborah’s complaints when she lost a hand were beginning to grate on her, she declared herself tired and ready to go to bed. Lady Eleanor looked sharply at her, as though she suspected her of some ulterior motive. She kept her seat, and Juliana said goodnight and went up to bed.
She had been lying in bed for some time, trying to get her mind to stop revolving, when a thud from the room next door caught her attention. She sat up, listening, but heard nothing for long enough that she lay down again. And then it came again...a low thud, and what sounded like someone speaking in hushed tones. Getting out of bed, she wrapped her silk dressing gown around her shoulders and walked over to the connecting door.
“Deborah? Are you all right?” she asked.
Not receiving an answer, she called again and receiving no answer, was just ab
out to open the door when it opened and her sister appeared. Her cheeks were flushed and she looked dishevelled, as though she had been having a nightmare and had tossed and turned in bed.
“Are you all right?” Juliana asked her again.
“Yes,” Deborah replied shortly. “I’m sorry to have disturbed you,” she continued. “Why are you still awake?”
Juliana was tempted to answer sharply, citing the loud bumping coming from her sister’s room, but she held back.
“Edgar is returning home in the morning,” she said, out of nowhere. “His mother has need of him.”
She sounded quite desolate, and Juliana wished she had some words of comfort for her.
“Is he not going to return?” she asked.
“Perhaps not for a fortnight,” Deborah said.
“That is not such a long time, to be sure,” Juliana assured her heartily. “Get some rest, and wear your prettiest widow’s weeds to bid him farewell. Give him something to remember you by,” she suggested.
“Yes, but what of the woman he was courting there?” Deborah was inconsolable. “She will have the pleasure of his company while I languish here and hope that this last month has been enough to remind him of his former feelings for me.”
Juliana had no idea how to make her sister feel better. And she wondered why, if Deborah had known he was leaving, she was only now bemoaning the fact. Had she only just then found out? Something was not quite right, but Juliana couldn’t say what it might be.
“Go back to bed, Sister,” she said. “Everything will look better in the morning.”
Deborah looked doubtful, but she nodded and closed the door behind her. It took Juliana another hour before she fell asleep, and she woke next day to a light mist of rain that matched her mood. She went down to breakfast to find a somber atmosphere. Edgar had apparently left early, and no one seemed to have much of an appetite. Gray was also absent from the dining room, and she wondered where he might be.
Deborah was once again summoned to the drawing room after breakfast, and as Juliana had been pointedly ignored, she took herself off to the library and sat with a book, wishing it were not so dreary out. She would have loved a walk to relieve the tension that was building in her bones. Instead, she was on hand to welcome Gray’s friend Lord Richard, when it became clear that neither the Dowager Duchess nor her daughter-in-law were available. She asked Hudson to find one of them, while she sat with the newly arrived guest.
When the butler left, she smiled politely and asked if he might like a late breakfast, which he declined.
“It is a pleasure to meet you again, Miss Lockhart,” he said, his voice warm and inviting.
Juliana was struck by the odd familiarity of his tone, but she put it down to his long friendship with the family. They had met briefly at Deborah’s wedding, and he had been pleasant company, though he had shown a marked disinterest in her then. Now, he asked after her family, gave her to understand that he had only just the week prior returned from abroad, and then made some desultory comment about the weather. Feeling out of her depth, and beginning to resent the absence of the women who knew him much better than she did, and could therefore better entertain him, she rose to her feet and went to stand by the window. The rain was still drizzling down, and the landscape was still gray.
“It is still a beautiful sight, even in bad weather, is it not, Miss Lockhart?” Lord Richard said in her ear.
She started away as though he had shot her, and reined in her temper. She did not know the man, and had no wish to assume that his behavior was in any way forward, but she grew increasingly uncomfortable as the hour went by with no sign of the other women. The sound of voices approaching was a welcome relief to her overtaxed senses, and when Gray walked in, his eyes were full of apology.
“Richard, I am sorry I wasn’t here to welcome you. I had not expected you till the afternoon,” he said, extending his hand.
“I left earlier than I might have otherwise, thinking that the rain would make the journey longer and more arduous,” he replied, shaking his friend’s hand. “But I have been admirably entertained by the beautiful Miss Lockhart,” he added, turning to smile at her.
Juliana caught the darkening in Gray’s eyes, and the way his lips tightened before he smoothed out his expression. She was not in any position to do more than murmur,
“It would have been discourteous of me not to have sat with you until the others arrived, my Lord.”
She hoped Gray would understand that she was not interested in, nor had she shown this man anything but common courtesy. He did not look at her again, and a moment later the other two women arrived, both claiming to have been in their bedchambers resting. The Dowager smiled fulsomely at the new arrival, raising her cheek to be kissed, and when the Earl had done so, she said,
“You bless this old woman’s heart with your attention, Richard.” She looked almost archly at him and added, “You are still quite a catch, though you have managed so far to avoid marriage. What is it that you fear, my dear?”
He laughed. “I fear nothing, Your Grace, except that no woman has so far found me enticing enough to choose me.”
She laughed with him, which Juliana found to be quite unsettling, as it was not something she did...ever.
“Here are two young women who are eminently able to answer your concerns about any lack of appeal that you might possess. My dear Deborah has lost the man of her dreams, and Miss Lockhart has found herself in the unhappy position of having to reject two suitors. Between them, I am sure your little problem would be easily solved.”
She pinned Juliana with a bright stare, which Juliana returned, wondering what the woman was up to.
“I’m sure His Lordship has no need to look further than his own disinterest in marriage to find the answer to his problem, Your Grace,” she said, her voice sharper than she had meant it to sound.
The glare she earned for that reply burned into her cheeks as she cast an eye over to where Gray stood, and found him watching his mother speculatively, as though he were also wondering what she was doing. Excusing herself, Juliana retreated, unable to bear the tensions that seemed to be rising in the room. Deciding she would brave the elements, she fetched her heavy cloak with the attached hood and went out into the gently rainy afternoon.
Taking shelter under the thin eave of the greenhouse, out of sight of the house at the far end of the garden, she contemplated the misty day, and her desire to be as far away from Coulby Hall as she could be. She had had no further time alone with Gray, though it was clear to anyone who cared to notice that he was much more attentive to her than he had ever been. Every day her desire to feel his mouth pressed against hers grew, but she found herself in the unenviable position of being now much too afraid to be caught by his mother with him in some compromising position. She had no doubt that were the Duchess to know her son had kissed her, she would find a reason to send her packing back to her mother, and to declare her son’s interest in her at an end, because Juliana had seduced him.
“Why have you run away, my jewel?”
Gray startled her, but she turned to him with a glad smile. “What are you doing out here?” she asked, casting her eyes hungrily over his features.
His lips curved up in a sensual smile as he bent to kiss her lips without answering her. She gasped and pulled a little away.
“Gray! Someone else could have a sudden urge to walk in the rain,” she protested, trying to step away from him.
He held her still, and plundered her mouth before replying. “No one knows where you are but me,” he said. “Do you imagine, for even a moment, that I do not know where you are when you are not with me? I observed you leaving the house and followed you.”
He kissed her again, stirring her blood, but she retained enough presence of mind to ask, “And is this sudden need to kiss me in the rain unrelated to your friend’s arrival?”
He chuckled, and admitted it. “If I must, I will make it clear that you are mine,” he said.
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He pulled her fully into his arms, pressing his whole body against hers, shocking her system with the hard length of him, and the pressure that built in her belly weakened her.
“Gray, what is this I am feeling when you hold me so close that I can feel the beating of your heart?” She whispered against his lips when he released them.
“It is the pulse of desire, my love. It is your body preparing for mine. And soon, I will give you what you need to relieve the ache you feel.”
His voice was hoarse with unspent passion, and the rasp of it scraped against her nerve endings, making the ache he spoke of deeper. She shuddered in his arms, and he kissed her one last time before pulling away from her.
