by Matilda Hart
“Go on, my love. Go back to the house. I will return after a suitable interval.”
Juliana stole back into the house, managing to avoid being seen by anyone other than Hudson, who gave her a secret smile that made her wonder what he knew or had seen. She returned his smile, handing him the wet cloak when he reached for it, and hurried to get out of her damp clothing. At her door, she met Lord Richard coming in the from the other side of the house.
“Miss Lockhart, I see you braved the weather for a stroll,” he commented.
His smile was charming, but she felt unsettled by his very presence, and now that he knew where she slept, she felt a sliver of fear run up her spine. She had no reason to suppose he would ever try to accost her in her room, but she would have preferred that he not know at all where she lay her head at night.
“It was quite bracing, my Lord,” she said. “Now if you will excuse me, I must change.”
She slipped into her room, closing the door gently behind her.
Chapter 12
Another week passed, during which Gray was unexpectedly called away for business in London, and Richard Talbot continued what was now clearly a pursuit of her affections. He was aided and abetted in this endeavor by the Dowager Duchess, who sought every opportunity to throw them together, with Deborah in attendance as a chaperone. And because her sister knew nothing of her feelings for Gray, nor had any formal announcement of their engagement been made, Juliana could not speak as she would have liked, or claim a relationship she had no way of proving. But he was a hard man to dissuade, apparently finding that her gentle refusals only whetted his appetite for her.
It was clear that Lord Richard thought she was being coquettish, as all young women worth their salt would be when pursued by a prize catch such as himself. He was an earl, and possessed of a fair living. He was handsome, charming, and very even-tempered. None of those things made him even remotely interesting to her, and she knew it would have been the case even had she not lost her heart to Gray. It was two days before her parents were to arrive for the weekend, and she hoped and prayed that Gray would return to save her from the young man’s tiresome attentions. Even now, as she descended the stairs to the dining room, he was waiting for her, his eyes taking in her simple dress and flushed cheeks. He probably thought she was blushing at his attentions, when the truth was, she was holding her temper in check by a sheer act of will.
“Good evening, Miss Lockhart,” he said, extending his arm. “May I escort you in to dinner?”
“Thank you, but I can manage,” she said huffily, and walked past him, making her way to her seat next to her sister with a sigh of relief.
She was not normally rude, but the situation was so far out of her control now that she was torn between throwing a tantrum like a spoiled child, and slapping his face for being so stupidly persistent. Instead, she breathed deeply, collected calm around her like a cloak, and gritted her teeth. She would make it through this evening and retire as soon as dinner was over. To that end, she ate sparingly, causing her sister to wonder aloud if she were feeling unwell.
“I am well, thank you, Deborah,” she said pointedly. “I am just in poor appetite this evening.”
Hudson suggested a choice cut of mutton, and because she knew he was trying to be helpful, she took it and cut into it, determined to stay calm. He refilled her glass, as though he knew she needed liquid courage, although she never normally had more than one glass at dinner. Eventually, the meal ended, and just as they were repairing to the drawing room, Edgar returned. There was a flurry of activity to welcome him, and a quick supper was laid on for him.
Juliana excused herself and was hurrying away when her sister accosted her.
“I would speak with you later, sister, if you can manage to stay awake another hour?”
Juliana nodded, saying, “I had best find something to read to keep me up, then.”
She turned into the library intent on finding something that would engage her interest for at least an hour. She was debating between two works when someone’s hand on her shoulder had her whirling around.
“I didn’t mean to startle you, Miss Lockhart...Juliana,” Lord Richard began, “but I cannot help but wonder why you rebuff my advances at every turn. I promise that my intentions toward you are entirely honorable, and I was given to understand that you were now open to the possibility of marriage, which is why I have come to make my case to you.”
“When have I ever given you leave to think I was willing to consider marriage?” she asked. “We barely spoke two words to each other the first time we met, and few more in the days after. And you never showed any interest then,” she pointed out.
“I was told that you had no interest in marrying then,” he replied, “and observed the truth of it in your behavior towards me and the other eligible men at the party. But this time, I was reliably informed that you are now actively seeking a husband. What makes my suit so distasteful to you?”
Juliana sighed heavily, stepping away from him and holding the books in front of her like a shield.
“I have nothing against you personally, my Lord,” she said quietly.
“Am I wrong in thinking that you are now open for offers of marriage?” he asked.
“No, you are not,” she said.
“Then what makes my suit untenable?”
He was clearly puzzled, and somewhat hurt by her rejection, though up until now he had done a good job of hiding his feelings. Juliana felt all her irritation drain away at the forlorn look on his face. He was not someone she would wish to make an enemy of, and as he was Gray’s close friend, she wished to ensure that there would be no awkwardness between them. But she could not divulge any names until her parents arrived, as it was only proper that they make the arrangement public.
“I am promised to another, of whom I may not speak until it is formally announced,” she said.
“Then I am most profoundly sorry to have caused you even a moment of distress,” he said sincerely. “The man who has won your hand is indeed a lucky man.”
She turned startled eyes to his face. “Why do you say that?” she wondered. “I am only a baron’s daughter. There is no large dowry that comes with marriage to me, especially for someone of your rank, my Lord.”
“I am not one of those men who discounts the importance of affection between a man and his wife, or the role that passion can play in marriage. And I must tell you that I find in you a wealth of charm, wit, intelligence, good humor and a depth of passion that few others recognize, because you conceal it so well.” He paused, looking earnestly at her. “It would have been my honor to be your husband.”
Juliana smiled, the first genuine smile she had ever shared with him. “Thank you, my Lord. I must ask you to excuse me now. My sister will be looking for me.”
He stepped away from her and she passed through, leaving him standing in the middle of the room. She was so tense from the conversation with him that she failed to notice Gray, who was standing just outside the door, until she bumped into him. Immediately, her cheeks heated, and though she had no reason to feel guilt, she wondered what, if anything, he had overheard. Not willing to engage him in conversation, in the event he had overheard and misunderstood any part of what had been said, she begged his pardon and hurried away to her room. Her heart beat rapidly in her chest as she thought about everything that had happened since he had left a week earlier.
And now the whole nature of his departure came to seem very suspect to her. She could well imagine who had given Richard Talbot the impression that she was free and looking to marry at last. But how could the Dowager Duchess have influenced the emergency that had taken her son away for a week, giving His Lordship the time to woo her? And if her gentle rebuffs had not been enough to discourage him, what would his mother tell Gray about her responses to his friend?
Her head hurt with all the questions and worries that had suddenly descended on her shoulders. She was wide awake, therefore, when Deborah knocked on th
e connecting door, and it was clear that she was as distressed as Juliana was feeling. Shoring up her strength, she pulled her into her room, sat her on the edge of the bed, and asked her what had happened since she had left the dining room.
“As you know,” she began, “Edgar returned this evening. He came back because I summoned him with the news.”
It took a moment for Juliana to realize what her sister was telling her.
“Oh Deborah, did you really tell him that you are with child?”
“Well, he left rather suddenly, after we had…”
Juliana watched her sister’s cheeks flush with color. She had never seen the like before, when it came to men, because Deborah was normally quite fearless and unashamed.
“Do you...have you feelings for Edgar, Sister?” she asked incredulously.
It would be the first time that Deborah felt anything other than lust or greed for any man.
“Why should that be such a surprise?” she asked huffily, not answering Juliana’s question directly.
Deciding not to argue with her, Juliana went back to the original question. “Why are you upset? Has he refused to marry you? Has he called your bluff?”
“We argued, and it came out that I had made the plan beforehand,” she confessed, her voice raw with unshed tears. “He is so angry with me, Juliana, and I am quite disconsolate. He does not believe that I am with child…”
Her voice trailed off, and Juliana felt compelled to state the obvious. “Well, you are not, in fact, with child, are you, Deborah?”
The look her sister slanted her was desolate. “I could be,” she whispered. “My courses have not begun since we slept together, and it should have done.”
Juliana sighed deeply. How could things be even more complicated than they already were? Deborah was still speaking.
“He thinks that I have ill used him, and vows to have nothing further to do with me.”
Juliana rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Have you told him that you might be, Deborah?”
“How does one tell a man about one’s body functions?” she asked.
If the situation were not so serious, Juliana would have laughed at the absurdity of the question. That a woman who was willing to take her pleasure with a man should be embarrassed to speak to him of her courses was unfathomable to her. She held on to her patience.
“Dear sister, it is because your courses do not return that you know whether or not you are with child. It is imperative that you tell him this. Unless there is now some reason why you do not wish to marry him.”
Deborah burst into tears, and Juliana’s soft heart broke for her sister. It was becoming increasingly clear to her that for the first time, Deborah felt real love for someone other than herself, and that she had managed to make such a mess of things could not have escaped her notice.
“He will not marry me for love, Juliana. He will hate me, and if I am with child, he might even hate the child. How can I live with that for the rest of my life?”
“How can you live with the humiliation of being an unwed mother if you are with child and do not marry him, or someone else?” Juliana returned reasonably.
She rubbed her sister’s back as she cried inconsolably. Another thought occurred to her as she sat with her older sibling. Had the Dowager Duchess been apprised of the turn in events? And if so, what solution would she devise to make things right?
Knowing that neither of them would get any sleep if Juliana did not stay with her, she helped her sister out of her dressing gown and settled her beneath her own covers. Then she went around and slid in beside her., pulling the covers over the two of them.
“Go to sleep, Deborah,” she said. “We will think of what to do in the morning.”
Still, long after her sister’s whimpering ceased, and her breathing evened out, Juliana lay awake, remembering how the Dowager Duchess had encouraged Edgar and Deborah to be far more familiar than was acceptable in polite society, how they had shared little looks and smiles that spoke of their growing regard for each other. In light of her sister’s evident distress, Juliana could only now conclude that what she had mistaken for feminine wiles was actually true affection for Edgar.
How had it come to this? Six weeks ago, she had been carefree and heart whole, and now she was as afraid as her sister was that the man she had lost her heart to would reject her in the end, because of the machinations of his mother. She had no idea how she would fix the problems that were keeping her up, and that had made her sister cry herself to sleep.
Chapter 13
Gray could not find Juliana anywhere. After her parents’ arrival, she had disappeared with her sister, and he had so far been unable to locate her. He knew she was avoiding him after the confrontation he had overheard with Richard two nights before, and he wondered why, until he realized that she did not know what he had or had not heard. The morning after, he had had a frank talk with Richard, during which Lady Eleanor’s hand in the proceedings was made evident. He had had to swallow his rage, and had yet to confront his mother, who had been unusually subdued since his return.
Despite the liveliness of his soon-to-be parents-in-law, Gray was distracted. He needed to be with Juliana, to reassure her of his feelings, to set her mind at ease. Breakfast had been over for an hour, and the older folk had gone for a drive. Richard had also departed, with a promise to return for the wedding, and Edgar was in the study awaiting his arrival. His cousin had asked to speak with him, and something told him it would be another uncomfortable meeting.
Edgar was standing by the window looking over the rose garden when he walked inm.
“You’re looking rough, cousin,” he remarked, pouring himself a stiff drink. “What’s going on?”
“Have you ever felt used, cousin?” Edgar asked, pain evident in his voice.
Immediately, Gray’s thoughts went to Margaret Anne, but he knew that Edgar was not making a joke.
“Not in the way that you might mean, no,” he replied. “Why? Which woman has been using you? And to what end?”
Edgar sighed heavily and turned to face him. “You are aware of my feelings for Deborah,” he began, and then paused, as though he were marshaling his thoughts.
“Yes?” Gray encouraged him.
“Those feelings have grown these last few weeks,” he went on, “and I am ashamed to say I...I forgot myself.”
He hung his head, and Gray wondered only for an instant what he meant. This was not what he had expected to hear at all. He had no doubt that Edgar had lost himself to his lust, but he was equally as sure that the devious Deborah had encouraged and seduced him. Still, the question was why she would do that.
“How many times?” he asked.
“Twice,” Edgar confessed. “The thing is, I went home intending to return after I had withdrawn myself from consideration as Eugenia’s suitor. And on the morning when I did so, I received a note from Deborah claiming to be with child.”
“Hence your unexpectedly swift return.”
“I knew that her parents were to come this weekend, and had decided to ask for her hand, but then we had an argument, and she let it slip that the note was based on a falsehood.”
He paused again, clearly distraught and curiously angry, though Gray sensed to was not only about having been tricked.
“How can I be so naive as to have fallen for a woman who would use her body to trap me? And what do I do now?”
It was Gray’s turn to sigh heavily. “What do you want to do, Edgar?” he asked.
“I want to punish her.”
“And then?”
“Then I will marry her, of course.”
Now Gray laughed. He understood his cousin better than he thought he might.
“Then that is what you must do. You have my full support.”
He watched as his cousin straightened his shoulders. He wanted to ask how he would punish Deborah, but decided that it would be best not to know, in the event that he was asked. Then he could honestly say he did not know.
So when Edgar began to explain his plan, Gray stopped him, and simply wished him well.
“No doubt I will hear of it from Juliana,” he said with a smile.
As though his naming her had conjured her out of thin air, he heard her voice in the front vestibule, and hurried out to see who was with her. Conveniently for him and his cousin, the sisters were together. He invited them both into his study, where he knew Edgar was waiting, having heard them also.
“We have had a rather long walk, Your Grace,” Juliana replied. “Can it not wait until we are refreshed?”
He bit back a smile at her attempts to evade him yet again, and said, “it will only take a moment, I promise, and then you will both be free.”
