by Leanne Davis
“The last thing I ever want is for you to become like Anand.”
He relaxes and lets me hug him. He always does that. He’s not afraid of being demonstrative and affectionate. He’s so kind. He kisses me until my knees go weak and my blood is surging before he stops.
My lips find his. I start kissing him with all the wild abandon that comes naturally to me. This is me. Always going for it. My first thought and primary inclination. I only hope this time, he doesn’t stop me.
His mouth crushes mine as my hands delve beneath the gray sweater he wears and land on his bare skin. I rub his stomach and chest. He groans at the intimate contact and his tongue dives deeper into my mouth. Oh, yes. He likes that. I run my fingernails over his nipples and then down his stomach, slowing down as I reach the waistband of the heavy pants he wears. His belt stops me. I step back and look up at him before using both of my hands to begin working on his belt buckle. He doesn’t stop me. I get it undone and unloop it from his waist before dropping it to the ground. I feel the snap on his pants and undo that as I dip my other hand inside his pants. He pushes his body towards me. He feels so hard and hot against me. I cup his long, thick shaft in the palm of my hand. His underwear is still on. I glance up at him through my eyelashes.
His eyes are closed, and his face is intense. I push his pants down as I gently guide him to the couch behind him. His eyes find mine as he sits down. I see his uncertainty. It’s so odd for us, and usually that’s because of me. Doing this, however, I’m the more confident, experienced one. I kneel in front of him and pull on his shirt as I kiss him again. I lift his shirt over his head and remove his glasses, setting them off to the side.
“Missy… are you sure…?”
I nod. “I’m sure,” I say quietly. Sanely. His eyes remain fixed on mine. I stare at him as I remove my shirt. This time, I doubt he’ll stop me. His eyes stay riveted on me. I like his attention. It’s been a long time, if ever, that I’ve cared whether a guy liked how I look. But I do care now. I touch his face and say, “You told my dad I’ve never really been with anyone before. And in a way, you said this was like my first time of actually wanting the person I’m with. And you know what? I thought about it and you are right.”
He grows hotter. I lean forward and kiss him. “Just let me be good at this.”
He nods. And his hands wrap around my waist as he pulls me back to him. His head comes to my breast and he puts his hot mouth on one of them. I close my eyes as his tongue covers my breast, whirling and swirling. I lean back and push my chest further into him. The ends of my hair graze his hands on my waist. He lifts one and wraps it all up in the strands. He tugs on me, tilting my head back as his mouth travels up to my neck. Then he sucks and nibbles his way to my mouth. I let him go on for minutes. I’m growing damp. I start to deal with my own pants. His eyes open, and he’s staring at me. My waist is at his eye level. His skin is flushed and he’s breathing hard. He’s definitely turned on, and standing at attention. When I drop my pants and panties, his breath catches. Oh, I like that. I like seeing the effect my naked body has on him.
“Oh, my God, you’re beautiful.” I believe him when he says that to me. He’s almost speechless as I drop back on my knees, pushing his legs apart to make room for me. I lean upwards to kiss his mouth and then his neck and collarbone, swirling my tongue against his skin. Then I move so I’m crouched beside him. His hand comes up as he groans and twirls my hair in his hands. I trail kisses as I descend to his stomach. He gasps as my lips leave his skin and land on his penis. It’s anxious, engorged, and straining towards me. I pull my hair out of my way; some of it sticks on my lips but I ignore it. I begin to lick him and twist my tongue all over the tip of him, surrounding it with wet heat. He jerks upwards, and I know he’s lost in the sensations of sheer pleasure. That turns me on all the more. I do it for several minutes, using my hand to stroke him before I open my mouth and bring him inside. He releases a long groan of blissful ecstasy. I do it over and over until I know he’s getting close, and react with a groan of surprise when I feel his fingers entering me.
I snap my eyes open to look at him. His eyes are closed and the expression on his face is of ecstasy. His hand clamps on my thigh before sliding into my wet, slick core. I open my legs wider, moaning in spite of my mouth being full of him. I like it. Oh, my God. His finger is inside me and his thumb is stroking me until I’m nearly dripping wet. I kneel to the side of him still and feel so hot. He’s straining now and ready to come. I release him and move away. I’m straddling him, so I hold onto his shoulders while lowering my body down right on top of him. He’s already slippery wet from my tongue. He slides right inside me and I drop to his lap. We are facing each other. My body is ready to explode, dripping with want and need. He’s so hard and stiff as I lean forward, moving him inside me. I gasp at the direct contact. He leans forward and fills his mouth with my nipple. I grip his head and push him harder against me, running my hands like crazy through his hair.
I nearly scream, “Yes! Yes! Harder! Oh, Seth. Yes, yes!”
My words inflame him and he grabs my waist and pushes me down hard while thrusting his body upwards. I’m bobbing up and down on him while my breasts bounce wildly and my cries only further excite him. He suddenly stiffens and his entire focus is on me as he holds me over him. With plenty of moans and groans, he comes fully inside me, and my wet, feverish, turned–on body completely envelops him. I’m lost in my own orgasm as it spirals through me, radiating from my center to my furthest extremities.
I fall on him, sweaty and utterly replete. He’s inside me still, and my arms are around his neck as I cling to him. His hands leave my waist to fully embrace me, and he begins rubbing my lower back.
Gradually, the crazy feelings stop surging through me. It’s such a high, like no other for me. I kiss the side of his neck where my lips can reach and pepper more kisses along his hairline. His short hair feels kind of bristly on my lips.
“Well?” I whisper into his ear as I wiggle around, sitting up more fully so I can look into his eyes. His hands clamp around my waist and I am pleasantly surprised when I can feel him growing hard again while still inside me. “Oh,” I mumble.
“Yeah, oh,” he mimics me. His face turns and his lips find mine again. We kiss and his body fully engulfs me again. His tongue is inside my mouth and his eyes are tightly shut. He shifts us, stretching us out and sliding me under him. I bend my knees so he can snuggle right into me. He shifts forward, filling me up and then withdrawing before he repeats it again. I can feel his muscles supporting his torso as he strains towards me. I believe he’s unsure, and figuring out what he wants to do and how fast and deep. He adjusts his pace again and this time, I moan, “Like that.”
He nods. He’s an incredibly quick study and fast learner. This is no different from any other subject to him. He quits trying to please me and lets himself get caught up in it. Nearly collapsing on me, he hammers me over and over again. I keep my legs wide and let him fill me up. He finally comes again with a deep, satisfied moan, burying his face in my neck and hair. After a few moments, he resurfaces and says, “I’m sorry. Are you okay?”
I reach up and brush his hair off his forehead as he leans over me. His eyes scan my whole body with genuine concern. “I’m fine. Great, in fact. How are you?” I smile. His face is strained. I run my fingertip down the side of his cheek. “Hey, I mean for real. I’m great.”
“I got… carried away. Lost myself in it. I’m sorry. I mean…” He sighs. “Not like you expect me to be very good at it.”
“You are so wrong. It’s the first time I ever actually felt something for my partner. That makes it brand new for me too. I got lost in it just like you. I really loved it.”
He nearly scowls. “You don’t have to say that. My ego isn’t that dumb or desperate to believe I gave you the best sex you ever had.” His lips quirk up with skepticism. “I am familiar with the learning curve.”
He shakes his head and pulls himself off me. Sittin
g up, he reaches down and grabs his underwear before pulling them on. I sit up, too. Sighing, I lean towards him and rest my head on his shoulder. “Don’t turn into a jerk, Seth. I won’t apologize for having other sexual partners, but only if you don’t apologize for not having them. Can’t we meet here, together, and admit that we feel something more for each other? That’s how it was for me. The first time my feelings were involved. Unless you’re remembering the first time we had sex and that’s all you want with me.”
He dips his head quickly at the bitterness in my tone. “We both have some insecurities. Duh, Melissa. I haven’t been hanging around you every spare moment I have just to seduce you.”
“And I’ve never once treated you like a clueless virgin.”
He smiles. “No. you haven’t. You’ve actually been pretty cool about that. I thought you’d have more to say about it, and instead, you act like it is no big deal.”
“Because it isn’t.”
“Well, my feelings about you are starting to become a very big deal.”
My heart stalls and I nearly gulp. “Me too,” I reply. “Why do you think the climbing thing freaked me out so much?”
His mouth lifts up on one side. “I was hoping you forgot that.”
I smile, punching his arm but not as hard as he deserves. “No. I haven’t forgotten.”
His smile dims. “Please don’t try to talk me out of it. It’s just something I like to do. I love to do it. I will always do it. It makes me feel alive like nothing else can—scratch that. This just did, I have to admit, so it’s right up there with having sex with you.”
I take a deep breath to resist saying the first few things my brain thinks of. Finally, I say, “Sex with me is the key point, Seth. It wouldn’t be half as good with anyone else.”
He smiles, tickling me under my armpit. “Yeah? How do I know that? Maybe I should test it out. Maybe you’ve just awoken a dormant nymphomaniac.” Then his hand keeps moving and runs over my bare breast. My breath catches, and so does his. “Then again, I wonder if you really did.”
He leans over and starts playing with my boobs and kissing me. His lips cover my torso, my neck, my boobs and nipples and my stomach. I think he’s nervous when I gently push on his head to steer him downwards. He hesitates until I feel his breath on my opening before his tongue oh–so–gently tastes me and I sigh, spreading my legs wider. My head whips back and forth. He’s a little clumsy at this. Maybe not the best head I’ve ever gotten, but I don’t care, because it’s Seth. I’m enjoying the sensations provided by his tongue and his lips as he figures out all there is to me. I pull his head down to kiss him when my body starts to orgasm. He does what I ask and his fingers plunge inside me and finish me off. His mouth, still tasting of me, covers mine.
After I come and finally cool down, my eyes eventually open. He’s looking at me with astonishment on his face. I smile and say, “That was as hot as anything I’ve ever done.”
His eyelashes blink rapidly. “And hotter than anything I’ve ever seen.”
“Seth Gifford, do you watch porn?”
“Well… sure. Don’t you?”
I’m a little shocked. For some reason, I guess I thought he didn’t… but he’s not always what I expect. What with the free–solo–whatever–he–called–it and risking death, why should it surprise me to learn he’s also a virgin porn–watcher?
“Actually, no, I don’t. I find it vulgar and crude. It does nothing for me. Anytime I’ve caught a glimpse of it, I’ve had to laugh out loud. It never gives me the urge to touch myself intimately or otherwise.”
“Huh. Well, maybe I can’t go back there now.”
“You shouldn’t.” We grin at each other. I sigh, getting onto my feet. “I need a shower after all that. Wanna come?”
“I hope you mean that literally…” He jumps up, grinning, and races me towards his room. I run after him, grabbing his waist and trying to pull him to a stop. I don’t know even know why. We are cracking up, and falling over each other so we stop to kiss a few times. Our hands roam places that keep us there even longer. I’m half laughing when we finally get into the shower. I am as happy as a little kid when I see his eager expression as he joins me.
Best night of my life.
Chapter Fourteen
~Seth~
I can’t get enough of her. I suspected it the first time, but after that night, I could barely concentrate on anything else. She infiltrates my brain and thoughts when I am studying or in class; something she says or does creeps in and I find myself smiling about it. I even grow hard from remembering something she wore. I’m grateful now for all of her previous sexual experience and not being shy. The way I see it now, I only benefitted from it. I’m surprised she’s never been bothered that I was a virgin. It doesn’t faze her at all. For so long, I was sure it would be the deal breaker between me and any woman I chose to sleep with. Now that I am doing it, I have to wonder how I managed to wait so long. Did I think I was beyond needing it, or liking it, or craving it? I’m delighted to learn that I’m not.
We keep our sexual relationship discreet. I have no idea if her parents have figured us out yet. I usually avoid them. I just have to for now.
Melissa receives an official diagnosis of adult ADHD by the psychiatrist her counselor refers to her. It still freaks her out even though she expected it. But she stays relatively calm when I reassure her enough times that it’s a good thing. She can finally tell her sisters now, as well as her aunt and uncle and cousins and extended family and friends. At last, Melissa has a reason for her past behavior and the cause of so much regret.
I’m off on winter break from classes. She’s available more often now because she doesn’t yet work. We spend all our time together. So much so that it’s like living together for two weeks straight. But in the first week of January, I have to leave to visit my family for a few days.
I fly home. I don’t mention Melissa. Not yet. I don’t know why but it’s a little weird still, considering our histories. They ask all about the Hendricks’s and specifically Melissa. That’s because Jessie often used to call my mom in tears over what Melissa had just done or not done. She also confided in her when Will refused to live at home.
“They so rarely fight. Once, when they were first married, I recall a crazy fight like that. It shocked me when she called me, hysterically crying about Will’s ultimatum to Melissa. I can’t blame him. If you were pulling that crap, I might have put my foot down too.” My mom’s rant about Melissa comes up a few more times during my trip. I don’t have the heart or motivation to discuss Melissa yet. Maybe it fits right in with the old me. I try to avoid any emotional entanglements as much as I can. Probably why I didn’t date much, and remained a virgin so long and got such an emotional high and low after being with Melissa. But I finally manage to combine emotion with romance and the person I choose to do it with might come as a shock to my parents. So, not yet.
I’m an only child. My dad travels for work, driving a freight truck for a grocery outlet. My mom is an instructor on the same golf course where she has worked for thirty–plus years. My mom always said she could handle one child, but no more because of my dad’s frequent absences, due to travel. She also said I wasn’t really like a normal child. I was rarely loud, boisterous or physical and always preferred to go off on my own so I could take apart my toys or build new ones. I enjoyed being alone as well as having the company of adults. She always told me I was the perfect only child.
They still live in the same house they did when they met Will and Jessie. They aren’t big fans of change. I get that directly from them. Their routines rarely alter much, and neither do their lifestyles. On any given day, I can pretty much visualize exactly what either of my parents is most likely doing.
I talk to Melissa every day. I take her calls secretly in my room. She sounds subdued over the phone and that concerns me. Melissa is never subdued so it is odd.
For the first time, I really want to get back to school. I am itchin
g to leave now. I finally go back and Melissa picks me up at the airport. We speak in the car, but by the time we enter my apartment, we have to do it right there, behind the closed front door, with only our pants lowered. It is wild and hot and thrilling. I never used to fantasize about it and now I can hardly live without it. Grinning at each other, I finally ask her, “Why did you sound so weird on the phone?”
I am still inside her, half hard, and half ready. Turns out, I don’t need a lot of time to reload. Not at all. Might be due to an ample supply from years of not doing it.
“I start to get self–conscious and worry you don’t really want me, and then I imagine you realizing how much better you could do than being with a girl who can’t work or stick to a schedule, or keep simple time like any normal person…”
I kiss her to silence her. “Okay, duly noted. Distance is an issue for you.”
She smiles through our kiss. Her lips move over mine as she answers, “Distance makes you horny.”
“No, Missy Hendricks, you do that.”
School starts again and my classes are hard. They take up a lot of my time and brain power. I decide to join a study group and spend lots of my time with them. To make it up to Melissa, we take hikes and walks and go sightseeing around the area on the weekends. She has no trouble keeping up with me, which is encouraging because I’m fast. I don’t slow down for her and so far, she always manages to keep up. We don’t venture too high, but find some pretty vistas around the area, and avoid the deep snow. Most often, we drive to destinations where the weather is milder and more suited to winter hiking.
She agrees to try the climbing wall at school and discovers she likes it. There is a climbing club but I’m not one for joining solitary sports enthusiasts. I’ve managed to avoid the whole climbing community of the state and around the country. But I get a kick out of watching Melissa climb. She starts on the rock rings to build up her strength. With zero experience in any of this, she stares up at the wall and nearly gulps before she asks me to show her how to do it. That isn’t how I started. My dad and I just went to the wilderness and found stuff to climb up. We started on large boulders and once I climbed the smaller ones and figured how to do it, I gradually moved on to bigger ones. My dad learned that way too, with minimal explanation. All he told me was not to fall. I had to learn to improvise and navigate by myself. I’m the worst person to learn from because I don’t do it correctly, since I never learned how. There’s nothing special about me or what I tell her to do. I get nervous when I think about teaching anyone. I climb up the wall once for her just so she can see how it’s done. I feel weird. She’s startled by me. I get that. Hearing that someone climbs cliffs or mountains isn’t the same as seeing it. She gives me plenty of oohs and ahhs. People who don’t climb are always impressed by it. It makes me uncomfortable and the reason I rarely do it for anyone. I’m a loner but Melissa’s different. I want to be with her so I naturally encourage her to keep trying and learning. I must admit I like when she gushes about me and what I can do. Even if she still hates the solo climbing.
