“I’ll make it easy,” April managed to choke out, her throat closing on each word. “I quit.”
Chapter 6
The plane ride felt long, too long. April had nothing to focus on for the three boring hours except the nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach, the deceit, the betrayal, the heartbreak. She blocked Lex’s number after he called her for the fourth time. She couldn’t speak to him. She couldn’t hear his voice. She had given everything to Lex, trusted him absolutely, given him her heart to protect. And he had stepped on it, crushed it underneath his lying, cheating feet. She hated him. Deep in her heart she hated him more than she had ever hated anybody. And she hated herself. Because she’d been right about him all along. She convinced herself that he had changed, that he was a good man deep inside, that he just needed to be with the right person, and she had been wrong.
He was not a good man.
He didn’t need the right person.
Because he already had the right person. The person who was perfect for him. The person who was now pregnant with his child.
As the plane touched down at Vancouver airport, April let out a deep breath. She hadn’t told anyone she was coming home. No-one knew where she was, or what she was doing. It was a good feeling to be alone.
The airport was crowded. She maneuvered her way between the tourists and returning citizens with ease, grabbing her suitcase in record time and rushing to the greyhound desk to get a bus ticket.
“You’re lucky,” the woman said. “There’s a bus leaving in fifteen minutes from Bay C. If you hurry, you can make it.”
April paid and took off. She heaved her bag higher up her shoulder and ran, shoving bodies and luggage out of her way, refusing to be slowed down by anything. She had to get home.
She spotted the bus just as it was closing its doors. She put on a burst of speed and caught up to it, pulling slowly out of the bay. She banged her fist on the door and the driver stopped.
“What do you think you’re doing? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”
“Please,” April said, struggling with her breath.
She handed the ticket to the driver and he grumbled but let her on. She slid into a seat by the window.
The ranch was eight hours away from Vancouver International Airport. April tried to sleep most of the way. Her dreams were interrupted, broken by every bump in the road, or squeal of the bus brakes.
Halfway through the trip, she called the ranch.
“Good afternoon, Blue Haven Cattle Company, Adam speaking.”
“Adam, hey, it’s April.”
“April! Hey! What’s up?”
“This is kinda unexpected, but I’m on my way to 100 Mile.”
“What? Why?”
“Long story. Any chance you could send someone to pick me up in two hours?”
“Yeah, I’ll get your mom. Everyone else is out.”
“Thanks Adam. See ya soon.” April hung up the phone.
She was impatient to get home, impatient to forget that the last few months had ever happened. She put her headphones in her ears and closed her eyes, wishing the twisting in her stomach would cease.
Finally they were pulling into the 100 Mile House Greyhound station.
Grabbing her bags from the compartment under the bus, April spotted the Blue Haven truck at the far side of the parking lot.
As she walked to the vehicle, she pulled her jacket tighter around her. British Columbia in early December was a lot colder than California.
Home.
The place you’re supposed to feel the most comfortable, relaxed. Safe.
But April felt nothing. It was like returning to a strangers place. Not the place she had grown up in, the place she had lived for twenty-two years. When she had come back from university, she had felt relieved, so happy to be home. Because back then, Blue Haven was her home.
Now, she felt different.
Her mom had been overjoyed to have her back, seeming only slightly surprised at her reason for returning. Apparently everyone had seen it before she had, the attraction that hadn’t seemed to make sense. They had all known he was a liar, and no-one had told her. They had just waited for her to find out on her own. April wasn’t sure if she was grateful or disappointed about that. If someone had told her, she could have saved herself a lot of heartache. But would she have listened?
Blue Haven was covered in a white blanket when April’s mom pulled the truck into the driveway. The sky was blue with minimal clouds and there was a nice soft breeze making a whistling sound as it blew through the bare trees. That was one thing April definitely hadn’t missed in L.A.; the cold. She pulled on her winter jacket and headed straight to the barn after throwing her bags in her room.
The barn doors were frozen to the ground and it took a minute to yank them loose. April grunted, noticing how much muscle tone she had lost while being in the city. Getting acclimatized to being back in the country would be that much harder.
Since she was a little girl, April’s favorite thing in the world was the smell of horses, and she was greeted with that exact scent as she entered the barn.
“Where’s my boy?” she called out.
She heard a nicker and then footfalls on dirt. Chinook stuck his head over the stall door at the far end, breathing hard, scenting the air. April cooed to him and he nickered again.
“Hey, buddy.” Her eyes filled with tears.
The big horse put his head in her arms and let her cradle him. He softly snorted against her coat, closing his eyes as she rubbed behind his ears. His winter hair made him fluffy and she buried her fingers in the warmth.
“April?” She heard her dad’s voice.
“In here, dad.”
Her dad half-ran around the corner, rushing to her when their eyes met. He picked her up and swung her around in a hard hug.
“How the hell are ya, pumpkin?”
He looked into her eyes, placing his hands on her shoulders, “Your mom told me a bit about what’s going on, so let’s go inside and get a hot cup of coffee and you can tell me all about it.”
April nodded. She felt a lot safer around her dad. Wandering to the house, braced against the chill carried in the brisk wind, April wondered where everyone else was. She heard hoof beats coming up the driveway, fast.
Kip rode up on Charger, the horse’s thick winter coat dripping with sweat.
“April!” he shouted, jumping off and running to her.
Like her father, Kip picked her up off the ground and swung her around, squeezing her against his chest tightly.
“Hey,” April said, laughing.
Her dad headed inside. “I’ll put the coffee on. Come in when you’re ready,” he said over his shoulder.
“Adam radioed me. I was all the way over the ridge. Galloped pretty much the whole way back.” Kip’s eyes were dancing.
“Poor Charger,” April said, stroking the horse’s face and following Kip into the barn.
Out of the wind, she slipped off her gloves. Kip noticed her chewed nails.
“You chewing your nails again? You only do that when you’re super stressed out.” He unbridled the horse and began undoing the latigo on his saddle. “Wait, why are you even back? I thought you were super busy with the movie and…Lex.”
April noticed his hesitation. She said, “I quit. Lex…wasn’t right for me. He wasn’t the person I thought he was.”
Kip’s fists clenched around the leather strap. “What did he do?”
“His relationship with Violet just sort of…got in the way. Look, please don’t worry about it. I’m here now.”
He smiled at her. “You are. And in time, too.”
“In time for what?”
“Debbie’s winter solstice party on the twenty-first.”
“Oh right, I totally forgot about that.”
“We haven’t missed a year since I started working here five years ago. And it just didn’t seem right to go without you. Now I won’t have to!”
April
smiled. She wasn’t sure a party was what she needed. But as it was tradition, and for Kip’s sake, she would try to enjoy it. She had a few weeks to get back into life on the ranch before the party anyway, and she hoped when the time came she would be acclimatized enough to relax and have fun with her friends.
Kip made her life easier. He was by her side nearly twenty-four seven. April worried it would become annoying, having him as her constant shadow, but the company turned out to be nice. It reminded her of being in the city, where one was never really alone. They chatted about life and the way the summer season at Blue Haven had gone. Kip graciously avoided any Lex talk.
Chinook was also happy to see her, and the pair enjoyed the snowy mountains together almost every day. April had missed riding her horse. He seemed to read her mind; they were so in sync. Chinook was the only horse she could truly relax on, because she knew without a doubt that he would take care of her in any situation. They were bonded.
For April, getting used to the quiet again was the hardest part of moving back to the ranch. She couldn’t hear traffic, or people, which had become a comforting white noise while living in the city. It was too quiet here, missing something.
The night of the solstice party was snowy. Heavy flakes fell down from the sky, adding to the already-thick blanket that seemed to cover the world. The light from the house cast colorful rainbows onto the white canvas, untouched as of yet because no-one wanted to leave the house until they absolutely had to.
April got ready in her room, straightening her wavy hair and pinning it back, so that it wouldn’t fall into her eyes. She had become accustomed to wearing makeup in the last few months, and tonight she wore basic mascara and eye liner, with some clear lip gloss. She looked at herself in the mirror one last time, tucked a flyaway hair behind her ear and practiced her false smile.
Downstairs, Kip waited for her.
“Where’s everyone else?” she asked.
“Just headed out. We’re taking my truck, that way I can bring you home if you want to leave early.”
April looked at him, slightly shocked.
“I know you’re not exactly excited about tonight,” he said. “So I figured this way, as soon as you’re ready, we can come home.”
“Thanks.”
“You ready?”
April nodded, following Kip to the door, trying to find the strength to be excited about the party. They ducked their heads, hurried through the snow and jumped in the truck, leaving the second set of tire marks in the clean snow as they left the ranch.
The solstice party was an annual affair. Half the town was usually there, each bringing appetizers and good cheer.
Debbie Freeman lived closer to town, on a small hobby farm set on six acres. She was a middle-aged woman with a welcoming smile and warm eyes. April liked her very much. She would often ride to Rainbow Acres to buy free-range eggs for the ranch.
Walking onto the farm that night, April slipped down the steps. She gasped, grabbing Kip’s arm to keep from landing on her backside on the ice. He steadied her.
“Easy there. Where’s your mind tonight?”
They wandered down to the giant bonfire Debbie always lit by her private lake. People gathered around it, and April and Kip found a spot at the edge of the group, where two stumps with a wooden board across served as a bench.
The fire was warm, and April could feel the chill lifting off her cheeks. The flames danced amongst the rocks, eating the blackening wood bit by bit.
She snuggled into Kips side.
“Warm enough?” he asked, putting his arm around her.
She nodded, smiling at him. Being in Kip’s arms, having him near, felt like home. She was comfortable with Kip, loved. And she wasn’t sure why she had denied him before.
“Let me know when you want to head home,” he said softly, his lips so close to her ear that his warm breath caressed her neck.
She turned to him, admiring the way the fire made his skin look golden. His bright blue eyes were, as usual, partially hidden behind his long, dark hair, but were alight with something April hadn’t seen in a while. She couldn’t put her finger on what it was. It seemed to be just for her.
Kip’s mouth was open, his full lips framed in dark stubble. April could hear his breath come and go. She leaned in automatically. Closing her eyes, she waited.
Rejection hit her stomach as she counted to three and Kip was sitting in the same place, stock still, staring at her.
“I’m sorry,” she said, “I don’t know why I did that. You don’t have to say anything.”
Kip didn’t answer, just continued to stare at her, unmoving.
April watched him, his eyebrows pulling together above his confused eyes.
“Okay,” she said, “Please say something. I just thought…you’re my best friend and we’re flirty; we always have been, and I’m…” She stopped herself, sighing. “I’m an idiot.” She stood up.
“Please don’t go,” Kip said. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her back onto the makeshift bench.
“Why not? You don’t want to kiss me, so…”
“I do!” Kip’s face transformed before her eyes. “I do want to kiss you. It’s just…” He looked into the fire.
“What?”
“I’ve wanted this for so long, and…I don’t know if I can…”
April closed the gap between them without being sure of what she was doing. She wrapped her arms around Kips neck and planted her lips on his, feeling their softness transfer in a wordless sharing of emotion.
After a second, Kip moved, holding her close to him with his hands on her waist, his fingers digging into her flesh like he thought it was the first and last time they would ever touch. His lips were soft, like a rose petal, but firmly pressed against her, in an almost painful way. April let him pull her closer. Their lips parted, breath merging together as one, the tip of their noses touching.
“Wow,” Kip murmured.
April swallowed. Guilt bubbled up inside her. She had just kissed Kip, her best friend in the whole world, and he had said he’d wanted this for a long time. How long was a long time? Years, perhaps? She had gone to him for advice about Lex, had never known that he felt this way. She couldn’t imagine how difficult it must have been for him.
“I’d like you to take me home now,” she said. She knew there had been something about Kip from the moment she met him, something different from everyone else. They were soul mates, and seeing the fear of rejection in his eyes made her even more determined to prove it to him.
Kip’s eyes nearly popped out of his head.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
She nodded. “Yes.”
Taking his hand she led him away from the fire. Some people shouted goodbye, some ignored them. Kip’s eyes never left her face as they walked together to the car and April smiled to herself.
Kip had always been her safe place, her protector, her advisor. Their chemistry was undeniable, their attraction, unquestionable. But April had never seen him as a boyfriend. Their relationship had gone up and down like a rollercoaster. They were too alike for their own good.
Being with Kip, even just being around him, partly filled the hole in April’s heart. It made her feel safe again, and it allowed her to smile and relax when deep down in her stomach she knew she should be crying. There was a small amount of guilt too; shouldn’t she still be grieving? Shouldn’t she still be sad and hurt because of what Lex had done? It wasn’t fair for her heart to break and be healed again so soon. It couldn’t be possible.
But looking at Kip’s eager face as he lead her into his cabin, nestled on the edge of the woods, April knew it was possible. Because she was seeing and feeling it for herself. Being with Kip was the perfect distraction.
The morning sun streamed through the window and onto April’s face. Her body ached, but in a good way. She stretched, testing her muscles and joints and feeling the familiar strain of used strength. Smiling, she rolled onto her side.
“Goo
d morning, beautiful,” Kip said.
He traced a line down her face with one finger, brushing a strand of hair away from her eyes. His own eyes were soft, caught in between a love for the woman in front of him and the afterglow from the previous night.
Embarrassment washed over her at the weight of what they had done. She shook it off. It was Kip, her best friend in the entire world; she had nothing to feel embarrassed about.
“Good morning,” she said. “How long have you been awake?”
“About an hour, I think. I like watching you sleep. I’ve missed it. Plus you talk, which is always entertaining.”
April reached up and kissed Kip gently. As they pulled away, he kissed the tip of her nose once, making her laugh.
The breakfast bell sounded at the lodge.
April sat up quickly.
“Oh my God!” She closed her eyes. “What am I going to tell my parents?”
“Why don’t you tell them the truth?”
April sneered. “Why, so my dad shoots you? Do you have a death wish?”
“Maybe not a good idea.” He grimaced. “Tell them a half truth.”
“Which is?”
“We fell asleep after watching a movie.”
“Where’s the truth part come in?”
“We did fall asleep…just after doing something else,” Kip said, slowly.
April jumped out of bed, pulling her jeans on and buttoning her shirt. She had no idea what she was going to tell her dad, but she did know it couldn’t be the truth. Kip would be fired, and she would be shipped off to university again. She had only just unpacked the boxes that had arrived from Seattle; she didn’t feel like going back and repacking everything.
“April, calm down.”
April shook her head. “No, you are too calm! What do we say?”
Kip laughed, pulling his clothes on and smiling at her. “You’ve slept over here before, platonically. Just tell them what I told you; we fell asleep after watching a movie. It’s believable. Just please don’t try to come up with a story. You suck at lying.”
“I do not!” April said, throwing a pillow at him.
He caught it and put it back in place, smoothing the duvet. “You do. But it’s a good thing. Just try to stay as close to the truth as possible and you’ll be fine.”
Ties that Bind (Sunshine & Shadow Book 3) Page 4
