April’s concern wasn’t warranted as nobody was in the dining room when they entered the lodge for breakfast. She snuck upstairs without being seen and changed her shirt. Running a brush through the tangled nest of hair on top of her head proved to be too difficult, so she pulled it back into a ponytail and decided to call it good enough.
“Good morning!” her dad shouted from the kitchen as she slid into her seat at the dining table. He wore an apron.
“Dad…what are you doing?” April said, pouring herself some coffee. Kip was setting the table and for some reason, she was finding it hard to meet his eyes.
“I’m cooking! Your mom wants to sleep in as its Sunday, and I offered to make breakfast for everyone.”
“I don’t think mom is sleeping in because it’s Sunday…” April said, laughing. “Did she have a good night last night?”
Her dad stuck his head around the kitchen door. “Never you mind, missy. No matter how old you get, we are still your parents and it’s very important that we look like superheroes in your eyes…” He carried trays of food into the dining room and set them on the table. “…And superheroes don’t get hangovers. Right?”
April nodded, picking up a piece of bacon and popping it in her mouth. “Right.”
“Right,” Kip repeated, sitting down next to April, bumping her foot with his. He smiled at her and she returned it quickly and looked away. She felt a strange wave of awkwardness wash over her.
Kip, who had been her platonic friend for years, had seen her naked last night. Things would never be the same again.
That day they were hanging the Christmas lights on the porch and fences lining the driveway. April loved Christmas. The whole ranch seemed to brush the snow off its wintered sleeves and pitch in to make the holidays seem alive. The lights were multicolored and in the evening - which, during the winter, began at 4:30 in the afternoon - reflected in the snow. It looked like someone had had a paint fight on a white canvas.
They hung the lights carefully, making sure each one worked, until April’s mom came downstairs, wrapped in a housecoat.
“Mom, you look fantastic,” April said, laughing at her mom’s bedraggled appearance.
“Sure,” her mom said. “I feel like a million bucks.”
“There’s coffee in the kitchen,” Kip said. He bit his lip to hide his laughter as April’s mom turned around.
She saw his concealed smile and held up her finger. “Not a word. I am still your boss, and you need to think of me as the proper, put-together woman I am. You need to respect me.” She nodded to herself.
“I do respect you!” Kip dropped the lights onto the porch and put his arm around her, turning her towards the kitchen. “I just didn’t know you were such a party animal, ma’am. I really need to teach you how to drink responsibly.”
April laughed to herself as they disappeared inside the lodge. She finished hanging her strand of lights and set to work on Kip’s discarded pile. Wrapping them carefully around the railing, she felt someone fold their arms around her waist.
“What are you doing?” she said, continuing her task, but enjoying the warmth.
“What? No-one’s out here,” Kip said.
“For now.” She turned around in Kip’s arms and, reaching up on her tip-toes, kissed him quickly. “But that could change at any moment, and then you’d have a gun pointed at you. Is that what you want?”
Kip shook his head, lowering his arms. “No, ma’am.”
“So what are you going to do?”
“Take you into the barn?” he said, putting a question mark at the end.
April wiggled her finger.
“Sneak you into my cabin?” he guessed again.
She put her hands on her hips, feigning annoyance.
Kip looked at the ground, pretending to pout. “Finish my chores, ma’am.”
April nodded, smiling. “Good boy.”
“Then take you into the barn.”
Kip wrapped his arms around April again and threw her over his shoulder. While she struggled in his grip, he placed the last two strands over the banister and heaved a dramatized sigh.
“Well, I guess I’ve done my chores. Now what?”
April laughed.
Kip carried her into the barn, swinging as he walked. As the entered, April was, as usual, greeted with the scent that made her heart flutter. The horses in their stalls nickered a welcome and she smiled to herself. Kip turned to his right sharply, causing April to swing. She tensed up, fearing she would fall but he kept his hold on her tight, and she barely moved on his shoulder. He swung the other way.
“What are you doing?” she asked, laughing again.
“Just trying to find something I left in here…” He continued to swing this way and that.
April was overcome in a fit of giggles.
“Oh my God,” she gasped. “You are such an idiot!”
“No name calling!” Kip laughed.
He set April on the ground and she leaned on him. Their eyes locked and she noticed the true caramel color of his irises. She’d never noticed before.
She sighed.
She felt peaceful, fulfilled; a feeling she hadn’t had since…she didn’t remember when.
April reached up and kissed Kip firmly on the cheek.
He leaned down and whispered, “Want to have a roll in the hay?” He nibbled her earlobe.
She laughed and pulled away, slapping him gently on the chest. “You really do have a death wish!”
Kip shook his head.
Their eyes met again and April felt her heart swell.
Chapter 7
April sat in her room, flicking through university brochures.
The second she was alone, the guilt started creeping in. What was she doing? She felt like one of those girls from reality shows, sleeping around for fun. And it was Kip! She would never forgive herself if she hurt him because of her own selfish agenda.
But surely he understood the situation. Surely he knew they were just having fun. He wouldn’t get too serious. He wouldn’t think she…loved him or anything; right?
Was she in love with Kip? Or was she just terrified of being alone?
It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair to anyone to continue lying to herself and telling herself she was okay about Lex. Her subconscious hadn’t forgotten. She had always loved Kip platonically, but she’d never thought of him as anything more. Being with Kip helped her forget the betrayal, the pain, the unrequited love. When she was with him, Lex didn’t cross her mind once. Kip was slowing removing him from her memory.
But if that was true, why was Lex’s face in her mind the second she was alone?
The phone beside her rang. Without checking the caller ID, she answered.
“Hello?”
“April?”
The phone nearly fell out of her hand. April sat up, barely breathing.
“What do you want?” Just the sound of Lex’s voice made her angry. She wanted nothing more than to eradicate the feeling and move on, but the wounds were still wide open.
“I want to talk to you.”
“About what? Because unless it’s life and death, I’m hanging up now.”
“It’s important, April. Is anyone around you right now?”
“No.” She got up and closed her bedroom door. “I’m in my room, alone.”
“April, I know you’re pissed, but you have to hear me out. I can explain everything.”
“You can try. But I don’t know what you hope to achieve. I’m not coming back, Lex. You’re having a baby. With someone else. I…I don’t know what you want.”
“I want you to know the truth, April. I want you to know I didn’t cheat on you, or lie to you. Since the music festival, I’ve been nothing but honest and faithful to you, April, I swear.”
“She’s pregnant, Lex. Do you think I’m stupid?”
“No, April, I don’t. We did sleep together. We did. But it was when I came back from the ranch. I didn’t think I’d ever see you agai
n. I thought you hated me. Violet was there for me. I was lonely and heartbroken and I’d had way too much to drink. If I could turn back the clock, knowing what I know now, there’s no way I would’ve gone through with it.”
April stopped breathing all together. If what Lex was saying was true, then she had jumped to conclusions. He hadn’t been unfaithful. What he had done wasn’t any different from what she was doing now.
“Is all this true?”
“April, I swear to you, it’s true. I would never lie to you.”
“You lied to me once. Well, you kept something from me at least.”
“What do you mean?”
“Violet texted you a few months ago. She asked you if you’d told me yet. That I deserved to know the truth. What was that about?”
“I told Violet that I was going to be honest with you about our relationship. It’s true that before I went to Blue Haven, Vi and I were a couple. But it ended as soon as I met you.”
“Except for that one night?”
“Except for that one night. I fucked up, April. Once. But I swear to you, it was only once.”
“I don’t know why, but I believe you. I don’t know why you’d call after weeks just to lie to me.”
“After weeks? I’ve been calling nearly every day and you haven’t picked up.”
April’s cheeks burned. She was glad she was alone. “I blocked your number,” she said, embarrassed.
“That explains why you picked up when I called from Cash’s phone. Why did you block my number?”
“I was so angry, Lex. I was so hurt. I thought you’d used me. I thought I was nothing but a pawn in your game.”
“I would never use you. My feelings for you are one hundred percent genuine. You’re my baby.”
April’s heart swelled and she fought it. Things hadn’t changed. Her anger was dissipating, but Lex was still having a baby. With Violet. And it wasn’t right to get in the way of a child having a mother and a father.
“I appreciate you calling, Lex,” April said, determined to do the right thing, no matter how hard her heart was pulling her in two separate directions, “And it’s nice to know that you didn’t lie to me, but you’re still having a baby.”
“I know that, but if you could just come back…and…try, for me.”
“I did try; I tried more than most people would have.”
“Just try a little more. It’ll be easier, April, I swear. I’ll get you an apartment and a car, and we can be together.”
“Yeah…in secret. That’s not a relationship.”
“We could make it a relationship.”
April closed her eyes. He wasn’t getting it. “No, we couldn’t.”
“You’ve made up your mind?”
“I think so, yeah. I’m sorry, but I can’t get over the fact that you’re having a child with her. I can’t break up a family.”
“Okay. I just needed you to know the truth. I love you and I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you. But you’re right; I am having a baby with Violet.”
April’s eyes filled with tears. Her breath came in short gasps and they overflowed and ran down her cheeks, hot against her skin. It sounded like goodbye. She hated goodbyes.
“I’m happy for you, Lex. I know how badly you wanted a family.”
“I did. To be honest, I thought it would be you who I started my family with.”
“I thought so, too,” April murmured.
“This is not the way I saw this conversation going. But…”
“I know.”
Lex made a croaking sound that resembled a sob. “I love you, and it’s killing me to know that I can’t wake up with you, or kiss you, or hold you as you fall asleep in my arms.”
“Me too,” April murmured. Her eyes filled with tears again and she bit her lip.
“But,” Lex sniffed, “This is the right thing to do…Isn’t it?”
April nodded, wiping away the continuous tears that were running down her cheeks. “It is.” She did her best to stop her voice from shaking as the sobs wracked her body.
“April, you have to make me a promise.”
“What is it?”
“If you change your mind…”
“I know where to find you.”
“Promise you’ll call, April.”
“I promise.” April’s voice was a whisper, barely fitting past the lump that had formed in her throat.
This was goodbye.
She was saying goodbye to the man she thought she would spend her life with; the man who had been planning on proposing to her. But this was the right thing to do. It just proved what kind of man he was that he had decided to stand by his decision and give the best life possible to that child.
April could picture Lex’s bright green eyes in a delicate, round, chubby face. His child would be beautiful, just like he was. And there was no doubt in her mind that he would be a great father. She knew that his child would want for nothing. It would never go hungry, or thirsty, and it would never know loss. Because Lex wouldn’t let that happen.
It devastated April to know she’d never witness it. She couldn’t believe what was happening, but she couldn’t hide from it anymore. She couldn’t pretend it was all a dream, because the ache in her chest was very real, and very painful. Knowing that she might never see Lex again terrified her.
“Goodbye, April,” Lex murmured.
April’s voice was a whisper. “Bye.”
She hung up, dabbing her cheeks as more tears rolled from her eyes.
A knock on her door startled her. She wiped her nose on her sleeve and sat up in bed.
“Come in!” she called.
Kip entered the room. “I knew you weren’t looking at university brochures,” he said.
He smiled at her and April was filled with a strong yearning to leap into his arms. She held out her hands and he sat on the bed beside her. Crawling into his lap she sniffed. He held her close to his chest, rocking back and forth on the bed.
“What’s wrong?” Kip said. He kissed her forehead, his lips pressing gently into her skin.
“I was looking at brochures, but then I…I just…”
“It’s okay. You’re going through a lot.”
April nodded. She knew Kip would understand. She could always count on him. She smiled. There was no reason for Kip to know about Lex’s phone call. She wasn’t going to change her mind. She would forget about Lex. She would be happy, and free. It was time to begin living the life she was meant to lead.
Fine snow drifted down over the ranch, settling in places, and melting where the ground was too wet for it to stick. From inside the lodge, April wondered what the animals felt about this weather. She thought it was beautiful; they probably thought it was annoying, covering everything in a thick layer of moisture and soaking them to their skin. Behind the barn she could just see a horse shaking its head, sending thousands of raindrops into the powdery snow from the previous night.
She decided to brave the cold and begin her day. Pulling her tuque down over her ears and her boots on, she opened the lodge door, feeling the chill hit her cheeks.
April wandered over to the barn, admiring the way the trees carried the snow in tunnels of white, encasing each branch like it was clothed. She inhaled, the still air creating the perfect fragrance of a sweet and crisp winter. Christmas was just days away. She had the whole day to herself; Kip having gone to the city for supplies with her dad. She would go for a ride through the snowy mountains on Chinook, catch up on a little reading, and if there was time, organize the tack room.
Her phone rang. She answered it.
“Hello?”
Elliot Campbell’s voice flowed through the receiver.
“Good morning, April. Long time, no talk.”
Chapter 8
“Elliot…what’s up?”
“I’ll get straight to the point, April; we need you to come back to L.A. The producers have already booked your airline ticket and there will be someone waiting to pick you u
p at LAX this evening.”
“This evening? But…I quit my job, sir.”
“I understand that in all of the stress of the day, your resignation might not have been an accurate reflection of your true intent.”
“I quit, sir. That’s all there is to it.”
“April, you are under contract with us. Frankly, you can’t just quit and leave. You need to fulfill your contract. We have counted your recent absence as paid vacation time and will be happy to continue your employment starting first thing tomorrow.”
“But…sir, I can’t just drop everything. I need more time.”
“Your plane doesn’t leave for a few hours; organize your affairs, and as I said, someone will be waiting to pick you up at LAX.”
“Sir…is this really necessary? Now? Can’t you find…”
“April, let me be frank with you. I don’t want you back. I’d be happy if I never had to see your face again. But unfortunately, I’m under contract with the production company, too, and I intend to fulfill my duties. I have tried to find a suitable replacement for you, but all other trainers who are worth their money are currently tied up with other companies. Since your untimely departure, Damian has taken over your responsibilities, but he’s already snowed under with work. There is no way he can handle the extra load. What you did was irresponsible, and highly unprofessional. You’re going to return to work tomorrow morning, or I promise you this – I’ll bring the entire fucking legal system down on you. You fulfill this contract of yours and stay until the movie is finished filming or I will sue you. Do you understand me?”
April was shocked. For a moment, she was speechless, and then she said, “I understand sir, but…you haven’t given me any time to…make preparations.”
“You didn’t give me any time. April, your plane leaves at 8:00 pm tonight. You need to be at the airport by 6:00 pm. I repeat, if you decide to ignore your responsibilities, not only will I make sure you never work in this industry again, but you can expect to hear from our lawyers. You better be on set first thing tomorrow morning.”
Ties that Bind (Sunshine & Shadow Book 3) Page 5
