Forever a Father

by Lynne Marshall

  She had been under the impression that Daniel Delaney was a man driven by his profession. All his time and effort seemed to focus on the clinic, and she respected him for it. She’d heard from Abby about a bad breakup before he’d opened the business, as well as the terrible experience with the last PT, and understood why he might be standoffish with her, or any woman, for that matter. But even when he spoke brusquely to her, she never took it personally. She understood pain and what it did to people. She was part of his staff and wanted to see him succeed, not just for him, but for her job security. They were a team. She and Ron were anything but.

  She pulled onto Main Street, passing the ice cream parlor where Daniel had bought Anna her treat, heading for her neighborhood several blocks inland from the beach.

  Ron hadn’t changed overnight. No, it had taken a couple years for his true personality to finally break through. He talked a good talk, but when it came to everyday living, the hard part of being a husband and providing for his family—for the woman he’d brought over from Ireland to be his lawfully wedded wife—he’d turned out to be selfish, demanding and miserable to be around. The fact that Anna hadn’t been Andrew seemed suspiciously part of the problem. But mostly, once Keela learned there was no making him happy, she’d quit trying. She’d also quit holding back from pointing out his shortfalls. Things got ugly between them, and he spent more and more time away from home.

  After he’d cheated on her, and they’d finally broken up, he’d agreed to pay for her to attend City College for a physical therapy assistant certificate. Payoff money? Guilt? Clearly, he’d wanted to get rid of her, especially since he’d found a new woman, this one a German exchange student. But Keela didn’t care anymore; the old hurt had scarred over and in her heart she’d moved on. Never to be tricked by a sweet-talking man again.

  She pulled into the carport beside her aging summer cottage. After the divorce, she’d remembered her first trip to California and the quaint hotel on the beach in Sandpiper, and how much she’d loved it there. Since it was close to the college, she’d found this small place to rent and, though hurt to the core, did her best to get on with her life. Landing a job at the clinic had made a huge difference in her outlook.

  Once released from her car seat, Anna flew out of the vehicle and ran like a whirlwind toward the porch. Keela stayed behind, gathering the backpack and her purse.

  The day she’d first met Daniel Delaney, she’d tried her best to remain professional but knew her dire need for employment cracked through her job-applicant veneer. Please hire me. Please. Please. Please? His natural good looks had set her off-kilter, but she’d quickly focused beyond his shocking green eyes and his sturdy rugby build, the charming Irish smile she’d recognize anywhere. There was absolutely no reason for her to notice his stylishly cut, thick brown hair, but she had.

  Thankfully, he’d hired her on the spot, and she’d promised herself to be the best employee she could possibly be for him. So if he seemed crusty or occasionally abrupt, he was allowed, and she let it roll off her back. That was nothing compared to the nonstop complaints she’d endured from her ex. Now she was part of Daniel’s team. The businessman and doctor was helping her start her new life in the United States completely on her own.

  She unlocked the front door while Anna jumped from one foot to the other, her sign for needing the bathroom.

  Keela had saddled him with her daughter today and didn’t expect him to appreciate it, but she’d been desperate, once again thanks to Ron. When would she learn she could never depend on that man? Daniel had obviously been unhappy about it, but he’d stepped up to the task and apparently had done far more than an adequate job, judging by Anna’s cheery mood.

  Anna lunged for the tiny pink-tiled bathroom. “Dr. Daniel taught me a trick today,” she called over her shoulder.

  “He did?” Keela followed her into the room.

  After Anna finished her business, she grinned, shut the toilet lid with a bang and climbed onto it, then leaned over toward the nearby sink. “See?” she said as she turned on the water to wash her hands. “I can do this all by myself. I don’t need that little kid’s stool.”

  Keela had seen Daniel only as the man who’d hired her and saved her life until now, but today her predicament had pushed him out of the shadows and into the spotlight. And he’d sparkled. What was the saying? Actions speak louder than words. There had to be a lot more going on behind the gruff exterior of Daniel Delaney, because this afternoon, after first looking like he had a bad case of heartburn, the guy had turned out to be nothing short of a star.

  After the rough ride with Ron, who’d changed bit by bit from wonderful to demanding, picky and never satisfied, then flat-out mean-spirited over their three-and-a-half-year marriage, she needed to believe there were still good men out there. Or, more realistically, regular guys with good hearts. Guys who could be trusted.

  After Ron’s painful betrayal and the divorce, and a year and a half of swearing off men, since she’d proved she had zero skills choosing the right type, something clicked. The thought scared her to no end, but she was a mature thirty-year-old mother now. She’d moved countries and survived. She’d learned to depend on herself and hadn’t done such a bad job of it for her and Anna. Every day, she felt more confident, too.

  She helped Anna dry her hands while her daughter babbled on.

  Thanks to Ron, the mere thought of opening her eyes to what was around her, namely Daniel, still sent a jittery wave through her stomach.

  * * *

  Daniel finished assessing his last rescheduled patient, then went to his office, ready to pick up where he’d left off earlier, practicing his presentation for tomorrow, before he’d been interrupted by Anna. Even though the clinic was empty, he closed the door. The winding tangle in his chest since Anna walked in, reminding him of what he’d lost, pinched tighter. He sat, squeezed his eyes closed and, covering them with his hand, pressed his temples with thumb and fingertip. He stayed like that for a few moments, listening to his breathing, fighting off the pain, the grief, grasping at the calm that always eluded him at times like this. Don’t do it. Do. Not. Do it.

  But he didn’t heed his own advice. Instead he opened the lower desk drawer, the one with the hanging files, riffling around way at the back until he found the manila envelope. He shook his head, knowing with every fiber of his being that he shouldn’t, but he opened it anyway. Then carefully pulled out the ultrasound picture of Emma at twenty weeks. The day they’d found out she was a girl. A few days later, when a radiologist had given a proper reading of the procedure, something else even more significant was diagnosed.

  The knot that had been twisting around his heart since Anna showed up tore loose as his eyes filled and Emma’s perfect little profile went blurry. She’d never had the chance to drink from fountains, swing on swings, wear frilly tutus or even take a breath on the outside. And some days, like today, he was unsure if he’d ever get past the pain.

  Chapter Two

  Thursday midmorning, Keela was escorting her last patient before lunch to the reception room at the exact moment Daniel came bolting through the door, his smile broad enough to take flight. She glanced at his feet to make sure they weren’t levitating.

  He made eye contact and shot his fist in the air. “I did it!” he said through gritted teeth. “They hired me. Our clinic, I should say. Beginning next month, you’ll have to give group physical therapy sessions, since we’re going to be so busy with the City College jocks.”

  Keela clapped her hands. “That’s fantastic!”

  “I know! Let’s celebrate. Abby, Keela, what do you say? Lunch at The Chinese Dragon, my treat.”

  An hour later, having overindulged on the delicious array of dishes Daniel had ordered, Keela finished her green tea and read her fortune cookie. She thought about her patient Joan Haverhill and the quick lesson she’d given on how to read them. “A smile is your
passport into the hearts of others...” In bed, she added, then laughed inwardly, but it must have carried to her eyes.

  “What?” Daniel said, nursing the last of his beer.

  She crinkled her nose and shook her head. “Nothing.” Think fast and change the subject. “Isn’t it exciting that your pitch landed the deal?”

  “I’m still in shock.” He finished the celebratory longneck beer, looking a little absentminded. Obviously the guy wasn’t used to drinking at lunch. He broke open his fortune cookie after paying the bill. “Well, would you look at this—‘A dream you have will come true.’ Who says fortune cookies are just a bunch of fluff?”

  For a moment Keela gazed at Daniel, who didn’t look away. She got the distinct impression he was seeing her differently, maybe for the first time? Neither blinked during the staring contest, until her heart thumped a quick run when an unwanted thought about his fortune slipped into her mind. In bed. Blink!

  Abby opened her cookie, then grimaced.

  Grateful for a reason to pull away from Daniel’s deep green and enchanting eyes, Keela watched the fortysomething Abby—with her carefully quaffed and weaved blond hair and meticulously made-up eyes—read her fortune.

  “‘Land is always on the mind of a flying bird’? What does that even mean?”

  They shared a group laugh, bellies full and spirits flying high, with a little something extra revving up on Keela’s side of the table. Then they all got up as Daniel left an impressive tip for the waitstaff, and headed back to the clinic for the afternoon appointments.

  * * *

  An hour later, Daniel Delaney sat at his desk and pretended he hadn’t noticed a single one of Keela O’Mara’s attributes. Huge blue eyes? Nah, not his thing. Light brown, shoulder-length hair with gold spun through it? Nope. Never even registered. And that smile, where the sweetest and cheeriest disposition shone bright? Well, he did appreciate that—attributed it to her Irishness—but only because it made working with her as easy as the afternoon breeze off Sandpiper Beach. He laughed gently. Who said he couldn’t be poetic? Besides, he’d need her dependability, since the quiet little clinic was about to get busy. Hallelujah.

  He caught himself staring, elbow on his desk, leaning into his fist, practically drooling while daydreaming about Keela and the future of his clinic, then sat straight. Good thing he’d had a beer at lunch and could blame the shift in attitude toward Keela on that. The last thing he needed was to let his thoughts get out of control. The clinic was all that mattered.

  Remember Kathryn, how she left you. If that didn’t sober him up, nothing could. Relationships were a sticky process, and he wasn’t the only one with a gut-wrenching history.

  He totally understood that by their age, his being thirty-three and Keela’s thirty, everyone, unless they were monks, seemed to have relationship track records, and those histories usually weren’t good. Keela had taken back her maiden name, O’Mara, and her experience slanted toward disaster. As in love, marriage, betrayal and divorce. Yeah, he’d heard most of the story, because the walls were thin in his clinic and Keela was friendly with her clients, many of whom were women. If they dared to ask if she was married, she’d spout her well-rehearsed ten-second reply. Met a man online, traveled all the way to America to meet ’im, fell in love, got married and had a kid all within a year. Now I’m happily divorced, thanks for asking.

  Or “tanks for askin’” as it sounded coming from those sweet lips. Nope, nope, nope, not supposed to notice those, either.

  But that was the truth Daniel had to live with: a fellow American—thanks a lot, buddy—had soured the lovely Ms. O’Mara’s view on men in general, and most especially American men, of which he was a card-carrying member. Never again! She’d often said that after getting off the phone chasing down yet another late child-support payment. The guy seemed like a total jerk and Daniel wondered what she’d ever seen in him.

  He could totally relate to the never again part, thanks to Kathryn before she’d walked away...and he’d begged her to stay, to work things out. In fact, he and Keela could bond on their failed relationships. But he’d never dare discuss what had happened in his personal life with an employee. Only his family knew the whole story.

  Ah, geez, all this thinking and overthinking had begun to make the room spin. Why had he had that beer with lunch? To celebrate, that was why, and he deserved it. He clicked on a patient file on his computer for distraction but had to wait while it loaded.

  Was he looking? For another relationship? It had been almost two years since Emma had died and Kathryn had left. He dug his fingertips into his hair and gave a quick massage to ease the sudden tension sprouting at his temples and traveling upward, hoping it would help shake him out of this line of thinking. Instead of that happening, his personal stats popped up—thirty-three, still living at the family hotel, rooming with his brothers, Mark and Conor, in a detached three-bedroom suite to save money—but costing his parents good cash, since they couldn’t rent it out. Not exactly a prize, was he? He rationalized he’d be there only until his business was out of the infancy stage. Who knew how hard it would be to take a private practice and make it work? But he’d made great progress today. Soon his bookkeeping would go from red to black and he’d be able to move out of the hotel.

  The patient file didn’t have the specific information he was looking for, so he clicked on the medical history.

  And while he scrolled through the abundant reports, he went back to thinking about women in general, to get his mind off Keela. He’d had many girlfriends, but he’d never been in a relationship that lasted more than two months. Until Kathryn. Even though being with her had struck the wrath of the universe on him. Kathryn had grabbed his attention the first time they’d met. The more he got to know her, the sexier she got, and they’d fallen into bed early on. She liked that he was a doctor, and he liked that she was not only a successful businesswoman, but personally independent. As it turned out, to a fault. An independent woman who wanted nothing to do with getting married, even after she’d accidentally gotten pregnant. Getting involved with a levelheaded woman might still be an aspiration one day, but only after he figured out the past. He’d loved Kathryn far more than she’d loved him. Turns out, after a man had his heart removed with surgical precision, it took a long time to grow one back.

  He closed out the file, started searching through a pile of reports on his desk. A committed relationship would mean trying to live up to his parents’, who seemed to have the ideal. His grandfather spoke about his Mary as if she’d been a saint. Daniel remembered his grandmother as being sweet and kind, and Grandda was definitely prone to exaggeration, but a saint? Still, the old man’s face lit up with love anytime he mentioned her name.

  Daniel had thought he’d found that kind of love with Kathryn, but he’d been astoundingly mistaken. He’d asked her to marry him within the first six months, long before she’d gotten pregnant, but she said she wasn’t ready. He’d sensed her hesitation when it came to commitment, but like a fool, he thought they only needed more time together, as though two years wasn’t long enough to make up her mind. After losing Emma, she’d withdrawn and pulled away. Weren’t they supposed to cling together at a time like that? He’d done his best to support her, to reach out to her, even got her bereavement treatment. Her therapist said she needed time. Daniel gave it to her, but she didn’t improve. She kept to herself and pushed him further and further away. Finally, she’d opened up and told him how she needed to be alone to heal, so even while drowning in his own pain and grief, needing her more than ever, he let her leave. Because that was what you did when you loved someone. He was hardly surviving, and in such pain over the loss of their baby he could barely work, yet he put her needs and wishes first. Alone, the pain so astounding he didn’t think he could go on, he tried.

  He’d always expected her to come back. He clung to the thought. But she never did. Then one day she’d sent fo
r her things and delivered a cold and calculated goodbye letter. Last he’d heard, a year ago, she was in a relationship with someone new, and he wished her the best, he honestly did.

  But Daniel was still stuck in limbo.

  He no longer fooled himself about ever being able to find his parents’ and grandparents’ kind of love. He should’ve seen the signs early on, when Kathryn kept putting on the brakes whenever he pushed to get married. She wasn’t into him in the same way, and he couldn’t see it then. The memory sent a sharp pain through him. How had he not seen it? Because falling in love had blinded him.

  After the shock and gut-wrenching trauma of losing what he’d held dearest, a family, he was nowhere near ready to look for a relationship again. He couldn’t trust his instincts.

  Man, he was frustrated—why couldn’t he find that report? He shuffled a pile of papers around.

  Keela popped into his thoughts again, her smile, her cheerful outlook.

  And why was he still thinking about Keela? He should’ve noticed and heeded the not-so-subtle omen when his grandfather, after first hearing about his new employee, had said, “Did you know that the name Keela in Irish means ‘beauty that only poetry can capture’?” Where did Gramps get that stuff?

  Daniel glanced across his desk at another mound of papers, plus a patient appointment list that promised to keep him working until 8:00 p.m. These days the only commitment he could handle was his medical practice, a full-time job and relationship rolled into one, and it was all he could manage. There simply wasn’t room for anything else. So here he was, working like a lunatic to get his business off the ground, with a PT assistant who’d started to lure his mind off the goal. He frowned and stared at his desk. Maybe that was why he was always gruffer with her than he intended. Self-preservation? You bet.

  He sighed. Today had made everything different. He’d landed the City College account. He couldn’t afford to take his eye off the prize. He shivered. What if he lost everything...again? He couldn’t bear to think of the consequences. A kernel of apprehension over the future of his clinic quickly grew to full-out anxiety, which prompted him to call out. “Keela!”