Forever a Father

by Lynne Marshall

  “Call me if you need me, brother.” Conor gave Daniel two firm pats on the back before he took off.

  Another question popped into her head. What did Conor mean?

  A moment after he left, with Daniel’s warm palm rubbing her shoulder and arm, she began to calm down. And she owed Daniel an explanation. “He said it was my fault.”

  “What?” Daniel lifted his chin, pulling back to connect with her eyes, a crease between his brows and wearing an incredulous expression.

  Gazing into the depth of his darkening green eyes, she collected herself. “He called her my daughter, like she only belongs to me.” Anger ate away at the sadness. “She’s our daughter. How can he be so cold?”

  “That’s not right.” Daniel hugged her against his chest, and not seeing his face made it easier for her to speak her thoughts.

  “I can understand him wanting to avoid me—he doesn’t love me. But Anna belongs to both of us.” More tears washed over her lids as old hurt crawled back to the surface. She’d gotten pregnant quickly, they’d had to get married, and Ron hadn’t been happy about it. Yet here he was, shacked up with the woman who’d broken up their already faltering marriage, and happy as could be about his baby son. The pain of never being able to please him twisted her insides. But that was a lost cause, so why did she let him wound her anymore? He’d broken her with so much fault-finding and heartache that she couldn’t imagine ever caring so much for anyone ever again. Except for her daughter. Giving her love to Ron had been one huge and messy mistake.

  “The guy needs to be there for his kid. And there’s no honor in blame.” Daniel’s truthful words soothed, like light in the darkness. “No one’s responsible for this. Accidents happen. Don’t even let yourself go there.”

  But she already had. Thanks to Ron, who was more than happy to show her the way.

  “Hell, if it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine,” Daniel said. “It was my idea to walk the dunes.”

  “I asked if we could come.”

  “You know, it’s dumb to give this another thought. That reaction from your ex was asinine, pure and simple.”

  She couldn’t argue about that, and soon she relaxed against Daniel’s chest, grateful for his logic and, more important, for sticking up for her. She inhaled a rough breath, letting the full weight of her head settle on his shoulder, liking the way it felt. Solid.

  “And furthermore, I can’t imagine any man wanting to avoid you.”

  Of all the crazy times for a guy to say such a sweet thing. She savored it, then tucked it away. Someday she’d remember his words like a flashlight on a scary night. Her tiny smile of gratitude against his neck drew another round of big sloppy tears, promising to drench that borrowed ER scrub top.

  * * *

  Over the next few days, Keela didn’t leave her daughter’s side except to run home to shower and change. A few days after surgery, when the swelling had gone down, the orthopedic doctor finally put the official cast on and discharged Anna. Daniel was there to help with the transport. He’d also been at the hospital at least once every single day since the accident to check in. From the way Anna’s eyes lit up whenever he arrived, it was clear to Keela she’d bonded with him. Though Daniel kept his distance.

  “Will you sign my cast?”

  “Why would you want my name?”

  “You’re my doctor!”

  Daniel looked to be on the verge of an explanation but soon thought better of it. He grabbed the felt marker that several of the hospital staff had already used to sign their autographs.

  Keela smiled, watching Daniel draw a silly face after his name, especially when it made Anna laugh. The child had been through several tough days with surgery, recovery pain, IV antibiotics and having to look at a scary, nasty scar in progress with the postsurgical open splint. Now, with the closed cast, she could go home and begin her healing process. Keela crossed her fingers that the fracture would heal straight, as the doctor intended.

  “Let me help you into the wheelchair,” Daniel said, transferring Anna from the bed to the awaiting chair. “I’m parked at the curb, so we’ll put you in the car and get far away from this place. Oh, and the drive home may involve a stop for ice cream. What do you say?” He seemed to be going out of his way to make her daughter happy.

  “Yay!” Anna clapped her hands, obviously thrilled at going home by way of the ice cream parlor.

  Ron had come for a visit, as Keela knew he would, but he’d seemed like he wanted to leave the instant he arrived. Though she did give him a nod for bringing his daughter a teddy bear with a broken leg, and for giving her some DVDs of her favorite animated movies to help pass the time in the hospital. He’d even offered Keela an apology of sorts for his blunt behavior on the phone the night of the accident. “I was a little harsh the other night, but it was because I was worried.”

  Whatever. Damage done.

  Keela gathered the few items Anna had at the hospital and put them in the large plastic discharge bag the nurse had left. “I’m ready. Are you?”

  “Yes!” Even a nasty leg break and a clunky cast couldn’t dampen Anna’s natural enthusiasm. The child never ceased to amaze her.

  They arrived home Thursday afternoon within the hour, with fresh ice cream drips on Anna’s top and skirt. Daniel helped deliver the patient to the living room couch.

  “Anything I can get for you before I leave?”

  “Don’t leave. Please...?” Anna whined.

  He looked confused at the way she had attached herself to him. “But I’ve got patients to see at the clinic. I promise to come to see you tomorrow, okay?”

  Uncharacteristically, Anna pouted, folding her arms and pushing out her lower lip. A big act, of course, and Daniel was most likely onto her. But being the good guy he was, he played along.

  “Should I have my patients come here so I won’t have to leave?” He got out his cell phone, pretending to be ready to place his call.

  “Yes.” With arms still crossed, she gave one affirmative nod.

  Daniel glanced to Keela for help.

  She shook her head and nearly laughed at his help-a-guy-out expression. “I have an idea. Why don’t you come back for dinner?” she said, not even sure she had enough food in the house to make a proper meal.

  “Yay!” Anna worked the sick-kid angle to the limit.

  “I’ve got a better idea,” Daniel said. “I’ll bring dinner when I come back. You have enough to do without cooking for me. Deal?”

  There was much appealing about Daniel Delaney, but his consideration for others was one of the strongest draws. “Since I’m wrecked, I won’t fight you on that,” she said gratefully. Sleeping on the pullout chair in the hospital room for the past several days, with all the interruptions, had proved to be challenging. She looked forward to a long shower and maybe even a nap, if she could get Anna settled. The last thing she wanted to do was cook dinner.

  “Deal. See you later.” He headed for the door. “Be good, Anna.”

  One glance at Anna, beaming from the couch, and Keela recognized that look. The child had a serious crush going on.

  Keela didn’t have a clue how to deal with that right at the moment, since she could totally relate. Confused and exhausted as she was, she admitted she had a crush on Daniel, too.

  * * *

  When he came back that evening, Daniel’s earlier enthusiasm was absent. All Keela sensed was obligation. She hated how that felt. Sure, he put on a happy face for Anna and was cordial, maybe even a little sweet with Keela—like when he insisted on serving their dinner like a waiter, wearing a towel over his arm. But the minute Anna went to bed, he was out of there.

  “I need to take a run before I turn in tonight,” he said. “It’s been a long day, and the only thing that helps me settle down is jogging.”

  Before he left, he asked if there was anything she needed, an
d insisted she call if she thought of something later. Then he promised to help out any way he could—again the obligation for being a hero—and literally took off running from her porch.

  What had happened to the guy who’d said he couldn’t imagine any man avoiding her?

  * * *

  Daniel wasn’t prepared for how hard it was to spend time with Keela outside of work. Or how easy it had been for little Anna to squirm into his heart. Being around them while in the hospital had been a completely different experience. He was a visitor, in and out. Tonight, at Keela’s, he was a guest, a very welcomed guest, and Anna treated him like he was the greatest guy on the planet. Truth was he enjoyed that part, Anna’s admiration, even though it tugged at dreams he’d had to let go of after Emma had died. Made him think what age she’d be now, or if she’d be anything like Anna. He couldn’t go there, wasn’t ready. It was still too upsetting.

  Plus the gratitude he saw in Keela’s eyes when he’d brought dinner shook him up. He could get used to staring into those clear blues if he wasn’t careful.

  He wasn’t ready to go there, either. Especially not with an employee.

  So he’d faked his way through dinner, bringing take-out cartons from the Drumcliffe restaurant, filled with a little something for everyone.

  Keela had to be sick of hospital food, so he’d brought a chicken and wild rice dish with garden vegetables for her. Rita, the hotel chef, made the best mac and cheese in town, too. What kid didn’t love that? Anna had wolfed it down like her cast was hollow.

  The food hadn’t been the issue, though. It was how tempting it felt to be there, in their home, away from the safe clinic.

  Being brutally honest, he wanted more. The realization had sent him running out the door, unsure when, if ever, he’d go back.

  * * *

  Over the next few days, all Anna talked about was Daniel and all the nice things he’d done for her. He even called her once a day from work just to see how she was doing. What man did that? Not Anna’s own father, that was for sure.

  Keela had to admit all the talk about Daniel this and Daniel that was getting on her nerves, since she was trying her best to resist falling for the guy. But how could a mother resist a man who’d saved her kid? A man who’d let her cry on his shoulder, and who’d stuck up for her? A man who insisted on her staying off work, with pay? Though she did wonder how he was managing without her.

  Easy. She had to be honest, keep her feet grounded. Number one, he was her boss. She couldn’t dare let a little crush jeopardize her job. She needed to work to get by. Number two, she was still hurting from the divorce. Sure, it had been a year and a half, but she needed longer to heal. Ron’s emotionally abusive behavior had cut her to the core. Number three, she couldn’t trust her judgment in men. Hadn’t she thought Ron was the love of her life when she’d met and married him? Anna’s dad would forever be living proof that Keela made bad choices where men were concerned. She couldn’t trust herself when it came to picking them. Not even good guys like Daniel Delaney.

  The quick thoughts, as she cleaned her small house while Anna napped, helped her realize she was beginning to adjust her attitude a bit. She’d just thought of Ron as Anna’s dad, not her ex-husband. Maybe that was the initial step in moving on from the devastating divorce. She hoped so, anyway.

  There was something else to consider, which hadn’t gone unnoticed. Though Daniel had been standoffish with Anna at first, after he’d saved her much had changed. Their friendship wasn’t exactly easy-peasy, but the visible tension Keela had seen the first day he’d watched Anna had leveled off some. These days, he even teased her and played along with her games. But now the guy seemed totally uncomfortable when it was just him and Keela alone. Except for when they’d waited during surgery. He’d opened up to her just a little then, but now he’d clamped back down. All business.

  She could have all the fanciful feelings she wanted for the man, but blatant one-sided attraction was a waste of time. Who needed the frustration?

  Truth was, Keela missed the way it used to be at work, where they both had their set jobs. This going off script with visits to her house and quiet dinners, just the three of them, had confused her and thrown a wrench into their boss-employee dynamic.

  For the sake of survival, she’d have to break her daughter’s heart and put things back the way they used to be. Keela needed to go back to work. ASAP.

  She searched for her cell phone. “Daniel? It’s Keela.”

  “Is everything all right with Anna?”

  “Oh, yeah, she’s great. I’m calling about me.”

  “Are you okay?”

  Not really. “I’m fine. I’m calling because I’d like to come back to work.”

  “No, no, no. You take as much time off as you need. You’ve got to look after Anna while she heals.”

  “She’s coming along great, she’s nearly mastered walking with crutches and Mrs. Jenkins said she’d come to our house if that worked better for a while.”

  “Nope, both you and Anna are better off with your being there while she gets better.”

  “That’s a bit thick, don’t you think?”

  “Thick?”

  “Unfair. What about my patients? What about the college athletes?”

  “I’ve got a registry PT filling in. He can’t compare to you, but we’re getting by.”

  She cringed inwardly over the possibility of someone stepping into her shoes at work and eventually walking off with them and her job. Plus Daniel had kept that bit of information to himself until just now. Why? Well, stuff pride. “I need my job, Daniel.”

  “I know you do. Don’t worry about that. Right now you deserve paid time off.”

  His benevolence was beginning to get under her skin. “I’d rather work, thanks.”

  “Why not wait until Anna is completely confident on crutches and further along with healing. You’re a PT. You can start working with her on strengthening exercises. She’s a quick learner. It won’t be long. If you’re worried about your job, don’t be. I’m saving it for you. I’d be nuts not to.”

  How could she protest?

  * * *

  Daniel sat in his office, mindlessly staring at his computer screen. He missed Keela and, hard as it was to believe, Anna, but the fallout from being around them was too great. Every step he took toward Keela carried the consequence of bitter and painful memories of Kathryn walking away. Of loving someone more than she could ever possibly love him. Of being blind to the fact there had been nothing he could’ve done to change her feelings.

  Since Anna’s accident, the onslaught of thoughts of Emma, tiny and helpless, had been relentless. Over the past year, Daniel had worked hard to get past the daily memories, and he’d made progress before Anna had skipped into his life. Now he seemed to be back at square one of the healing game.

  He’d wanted to be a father, Emma’s father, more than he could have ever imagined. Though she’d been lifeless in his arms, his heart had instantaneously bonded with her. He could hardly bear reliving those moments, yet they’d returned again and again when he least expected. How many times could a man replay the saddest moment of his life without breaking apart?

  He’d thought he’d made good strides on his road to emotional recovery until he’d let his guard down and looked at Keela romantically. If venturing into uncharted territory with someone new meant getting shredded by the past, he simply wasn’t ready to go there. No matter how appealing Keela and her daughter were.

  It had been a week since he’d seen them, and several days since he’d insisted Keela not come back to work. Sure, he could have used her help, but for now he needed to keep her out of his daily life. To get back on track. The 4Cs athletes were officially beginning to filter through his clinic. Every single one of his appointment slots had been booked, a huge boost to the business. Some double booked. Since he didn’t have Ke
ela’s help, he’d hired a PT assistant from a temporary agency instead. He had to keep the college happy, and that meant being focused. Working with Keela right now would guarantee distraction. Sure, he felt bad that he hadn’t made time to visit Anna or even call to say hi lately, but he was functioning in survival mode these days.

  Anna deserved better, and so did Keela. Not so fast, buddy. Your motives weren’t that pure. He’d also cut back on visits because he couldn’t get the disturbing memory out of his mind of having Keela’s warm body tucked close to his. The quick sensual thought sent a shiver through his chest. That was the real reason he’d insisted she take more time off work—to keep distance between them.

  “Dr. Delaney?” Phil, the temporary PT, appeared at his door. “We’re out of pain-relieving gel and I just used the last package of electrode pads for the electronic muscle stimulator.”

  Did you think to order any the way I showed you last week? “I’ll call the supply company and put in an order stat. Anything else we’re low on?”

  Phil verbally tossed several more items his way, and Daniel gritted his teeth while writing them down.

  The fill-in registry guy was doing an adequate job, but his communication skills weren’t great. And he didn’t know squat about ordering supplies. And he definitely didn’t look as good as Keela in the clinic uniform.

  Truth was, Keela had spoiled Daniel. Over the past three months, they’d quickly gotten their work routine down, and sometimes it seemed she was a mind reader. He’d grown lazy, never having to be explicit about what he wanted or needed her to do for a patient. Often her input or ideas were better than his own care plans. But that was neither here nor there because he’d essentially banished her from work for another week.

  He needed time to figure this out, to separate his misplaced desire from reality, since pain and heartache came with opening up and letting someone in. Besides, he had no business further confusing the affections of a daddy-starved little girl and preying on her vulnerable mother because he had a crush. Hell, that would make him ten times worse than the deadbeat dad!