Finn and Seb, tuck into their pasta, as though they haven’t eaten in weeks, whilst I tidy away the mess and load the dishwasher. The atmosphere is calm and casual, as I listen to Finn’s chatter about his day and Sebastian’s banter.
“Sophie kissed me today Yuk – she said she wants to marry me!” he scrunches his horrified face up and makes monster noises. I look at Sebastian and we both share a smile.
“Hey Mate, you didn’t say you had a girlfriend. Is she a looker?”
“She’s ok I spose, but she’s not my girlfwend – I like Holly,” Finn shrugs his small shoulders without apology. God they start young.
“Ahh Holly!” Sebastian nods his understanding and laughs. “Come on, eat up Romeo!”
“Romeo? I’m not called Romeo - My name’s Finn!”
“That it is Mate, that it is.”
They eat their food in congenial silence, boys enjoying their carbohydrates with uninhibited gusto, whilst I inwardly melt at how wonderful Sebastian is with my son. He’s the ideal mix of fun and firm and watching my son chat happily, I know that he adores Seb and always has. I know the feeling.
“If you’re Ok down here with Finn I’ll go run a bath for him.”
At Seb’s silent perusing nod, I disappear upstairs.
As I enter our recently re-modelled grey and white bathroom it hits me that the last time he was here, upstairs things had not ended so well - or rather not ended the way I’d wanted them to. I just hoped that he’d leave before I ready Finn for bed.
I swish the bubbles about in the warm water and stop the tap, nipping up to the top floor to Finn’s room to collect his PJ’s. Arriving back down on the landing, I find a naked little man, dancing about shouting, “It’s naked time!” over and over, whilst Sebastian desperately tries and fails miserably to grab his giggling body and dunk him in the roll-topped bath. The sight is adorable. This strong gorgeous male and the soft innocent little boy are having a whale of a time. So much for him leaving before bath time!
With lots of coercion and some serious doorway blocking we jokingly hi-five at our achievement to corner Finn. Making a dive for him I clutch at his wriggling waist and lift him into the air, blowing raspberries loudly on his puffed out healthy belly. Two seconds later and he’s happily snuggled deep in bubble bath, playing with his magic frog. Sebastian is positioned in the corner of the bathroom, leaning casually against the laundry cupboard watching me keenly as I kneel at the bath side, and pour water onto Finn’s body with a small jug.
“So Lu – How’s things?” he shrugs managing to look completely relaxed, when inside I’m a bag of nerves. How does he do that?
Why is he asking me how’s things? Yesterday he’d talked dirty to me in The Ashton and then left me with serious head-fuck, sent saucy texts and rules. I turn to look at his face unsure how to answer - things used to be so much simpler between us. The big white elephant that floated around us was my fault and I knew it - I was the one who’d asked him for uncomplicated sex.
“I’m fine.” The blunt answer creates an uncomfortable silence between us.
“Did you get the quote I put together?” he smiles, his lovely mouth softening and I relax a little.
“Mmm hmmm - I spoke to your PA yesterday - She’s a law unto herself.”
He chuckles. “Ahh Miss Toni. Toni is hard on the outside but she means well. She’s been instrumental in assisting me with the Dubai project, from the U.K. base. But she can get a bit territorial I agree.”
I raise my brows at his rather blasé description of her. A bit territorial?
His phone buzzes and I watch his behaviour in the mirror behind the bath. He seems annoyed and punching out a quick reply, slips the phone back into his pocket.
“Everything alright?” I throw over my shoulder.
“Just Chris - he and some of the lads are heading out to the pub.”
“Well don’t let me keep you.” God woman you sound like a nag!
““I’m not going anywhere… yet. I need to talk to you Lu. I’m going away on business until the weekend.”
The feeling of loss is an unfamiliar sensation, low in the pit of my belly. He was always away - I need to get a grip.
“Oh?” I mutter, whilst trying to lather Finn’s hair into the regular mohican hairdo we replicate at bath times.
“Yeah. Don’t worry about The Ashton. I’ve brought Nathan up to date on things and he’s promised he’ll be around if needed. I’d ask Chris as he seems pretty keen to work on this project - matter-of-fact seems pretty keen on you Lu… but…”
“Is he? I wouldn’t know; he seems a bit full of himself but I’m sure he’ll look after me.” I interrupt and am aware I’m deliberately goading him.
“Yes, Toni said she thought you two would be well-suited.” There’s an unasked question in the depths of that statement but I choose to ignore it. Of course Toni would have encouraged a relationship between Chris and I - it paved the way, free and clear for her to land Sebastian.
“Toni is rather keen on you too me thinks.”
“She’s harmless. Like I said, means well.”
Bollocks!
“Anyway Chris can’t be around to look after you, as he’s accompanying me to on this job.”
“No worries - Nathan is great.” I’m inwardly relieved but still pissed off about Toni.
He hooks his thumbs inside his denims, one leg propped against the tiled wall. Effortlessly casual and looks so good I could eat him up with a spoon. I’ve gone from seriously pissed-off to actively turned-on in a matter of seconds.
I choose to ignore his passing comment about Toni. She is not harmless but if I disagree with his viewpoint, I’m the one who’ll come across as bitchy. Men can never see a manipulative woman coming. Instead I chuckle as Finn blows bubbles in my face.
“Right you, let’s get you out of the tub and all cosied up in your PJ’s.”
Lifting Finn out into a pre-warmed towel taken from the heated radiator, I enfold his now shivering little body and pat him gently dry.
“Now’s not the time Lu so I’ll go put the kettle on and you get The Finnster to bed. Then we’ll talk. Little ears and all that.”
Join the queue - who doesn’t want to talk to me at the mo? I want to shout but I nod without answering him, knowing from the tone of his voice that it would be futile to disagree and watch as he bends to kiss Finn’s damp hair, inhaling his Johnson’s baby shampoo scent.
“Off you go big lad. Be good for your ma and snuggle up.”
“Night Sub. I’ll be good.” Finn blows a cheeky raspberry at him, showing the antithesis of good.
“Night you little monkey.” With a deep chuckle he heads downstairs.
I return to the basement kitchen and pad along the oak floor. The boards are soft and comforting beneath my feet. Sebastian is indifferently leaning against the sink, hands gripping the worktop, his back to the huge picture window, legs loosely crossed in front of him. The only light comes from the glass extractor hood and his appearance is shrouded seductively. The effect is beguiling.
Black pools virtually undress me as I enter. “Did he go down OK?”
I lick my dry lips responding quickly. “Yeah no probs – sorry for the delay. I had to read all of his favourite Spiderman book… again!” Combing my hand through my hair I make my way towards him.
“He’s a great kid Lu – fantastic little man.” He shakes his head in wonder and I understand and smile back, knowingly. He is mine, but I totally agree, whole-heartedly; Finn is a superstar.
I take the mug that Seb offers me, with appreciation; I’m glad to finally stop, as a wall of tiredness hits me. It’s been a long day - hell a long couple of days. Taking a seat on a high stool at the island in the centre of the room I decide to make the first move. Perhaps it’s craziness or just weariness boosting my confidence but I am keen to begin. Good or bad.
I take a look at his handsome face, so well-known to me yet now I’m not
icing other details, such as the slight dimple in his cheek and his high cheekbones and the way his eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles - he is the total package.
“What did you want to talk about Seb?” I ask blowing gently on my tea to cool it, as the steam encases me and I frame myself with a deep breath.
I can see he is staring at my mouth, has been since I licked my lips and it instantly makes my disloyal nipples react; they could cut diamonds! My loose white chiffon blouse feeling suddenly tight over their sensitive tips.
He takes his eyes from my chest for a second. “I wonder what the prick wants to talk to you about?”
I presume he means Niall.
“God knows – Niall still thinks he can click his fingers and I’ll drop everything for him.” I sigh as the gulp of sweet tea, slides silkily down my throat and warms my belly.
“But you won’t?” Seb raises his brows in question.
“Hell no! That man is a law unto himself but that ship has sailed, sunk and been robbed by gold diggers.”
“Good.” He appears pleased by my answer but continues. “I don’t think he was too happy to see me here.”
“Why? You’re Finn’s Godfather, my friend and it’s my home,” I defend him immediately but smile haughtily. “Not sure the pat on my bum helped though.”
His deep laugh fills the kitchen and I enjoy the fleeting moment seeing him so relaxed, his straight white teeth and dimple in his right cheek flash briefly. My own giggles join his laughter and we share a smile. For a fleeting second its Seb & Lu, mates again.
“You’re probably right but I couldn’t help myself. He’s lucky I didn’t punch his lights out.”
I nod, savouring my mug between my hands. I know how protective Seb is towards me, regardless of the new changes between us – he would always be my friend.
“I can manage Niall Seb, he’s harmless; a complete twat, but harmless, but thanks for caring.”
I can feel him watching me, quietly absorbing my words. “It appears you are popular at the moment Lulu. Leo, Niall, anyone else I need to meet at midnight for a duel?”
“Seriously though Lu we also need to talk, about the other night. Don’t we. About your proposition too.” Anyone else would have posed it as a question but not Sebastian. It was most definitely a command.
I shake my head, my eyes huge and focused on his black ones. I can’t do this. I thought I could but I know if we cross over into unknown territory, there was no going back. It was fine when it was harmless texting but face to face?
But I’m not given the chance.
“Sat night… it was great Lu. Really great.” I feel an overwhelming relief but also sense a but is on the cards. “But you know how things are with me? I’m never here - I think that’s why I slowed things… I was pushing to hard.”
My shoulders dip a tad, hopefully not enough for him to see my sadness and I desperately try to remain centered, as though his words are not cutting right through me. Be strong - he’s just changed his mind that’s all!
“Hey Seb, its you and me – you don’t need to do this. We had fun and you just decided that you weren’t into me that way. I get it. Let’s call it that.”
I shrug off the fact that I think I might cry at any minute and that my body is almost in pain, like I’m breaking into tiny little pieces. In that instant he is at my side. Here we go again, this bereft, feeling. I’m never so desperate or dramatic. I’m disgusted with myself.
Perhaps it’s the fact that I’m shattered from the long working days or that I haven’t fully recovered from the sexual interruption to our friendship. His scent surrounds me, all clean and musky with that twist of vanilla.
“I should never have propositioned you. I don’t know what I was thinking?” I run my hands through my hair, exacerbated at my own behaviour. “When you tried it on with me I figured, hell, it shouldn’t be too hard for him - he must think I’m alright for a shag.” I lower my head in annoyance at the wobble of fear in my voice. “All the girls are saying I need to get back in the saddle and I do, but it’s been a long time and I’ve not slept with anyone besides Niall since I was 19. You came home from Dubai and were standing in my kitchen all-gorgeous and male and I thought, why not? You’re my friend and I trust you. I would rather it be with someone who won’t think badly of me and expect too much - you know?”
His black eyes watch me spill my emotion, out into a puddle at his feet. To give him his due, he just listens, and then nods in understanding before rubbing his head.
“The thing is, I’m not sure what to do here? All I want to do right now, have wanted to do since I left you at The Ashton is … this.”
He leans forward, tilting my face up to his own stubbled one, moving a stray piece of hair and gently stroking a finger down my cheek. I hold my breath in wait as the nervous frizzes run around my body at the simplest of touches from him.
Why is he giving me such mixed signals?
He bends in further kissing me tenderly on the tip of my nose. “I’ve missed your cute little snub nose,” he smiles, knowing he is repeating this comment, every time we get together and continues his trail across one cheek and then the other, lightly rubbing our noses together, so that I scrunch mine up.
“That’s what I like – the little Elizabeth twitch!
I scrunch my nose up higher in utter confusion. “Elizabeth twitch?”
“You know, Elizabeth Montgomery from Bewitched? My mum loved that show and Na & I always had a bit of a thing for her – definitely now have a thing for noses.” I nod my acknowledgement and smile lightly at his boyhood crush. “And boobs and ass. That’s a given.” His eyes twinkle devilishly at me.
Bending, he kisses my forehead and finally reaches my already puckered lips. His big comforting hands are on either side of my face, holding me prisoner, as he looks right into my eyes.
“You have the sexiest green eyes. You know that they give your inner most thoughts away don’t you Lady Lu? I can read you so easily; always have been able to.” His own, black pools hypnotise me with their depth. I look down, long eyelashes fanning my face, to hide my responsiveness from his x-ray vision.
I am dizzy with arousal and realise that I have unconsciously already opened my legs to accommodate his body, allowing him to slip into the ‘V’ I’ve created.
“You mean something to me. You’ve always meant something to me. Will always,” he corrects himself, his voice breaking with emotion.
I can actually see real anguish in his expression. I’ve never seen Sebastian like this, so out of control. Control he puts above anything and everyone. The man with the cool calm and collected exterior has developed a slight crack in his armour.
“I want you to continue blossoming into Lulu again, getting YOU back and as my message said earlier, I’m all in. But… there are those FBR’s.”
We watch each other, weighing up the charged air between us and, reading my mind, he bends towards, reaching for me; our lips meet eagerly. He slides both hands along my outer thighs, grabs them underneath the back of my knees and pulls them upwards, his palms massaging my calves, anchoring them in place. The position is so carnal that I rue my earlier decision to wear jeans. The barrier an annoying interference with our craving for spontaneous lusty sex.
We explore one another’s mouths leisurely, his finger travelling lightly from my neck to the base of my spine, stroking through the sheer fabric in small delicious trails. I shiver at the delicious sensations and my breasts strain against my top, desperate for some of the attention. I push them into his warm solid chest, tired of holding back; tired of letting my fears get the better of me. Sebastian grabs hold of my hair in his fist, winding it tightly around his hand until I’m held, immobilised. Our tongues mate angrily and in that moment something inside me clicks.
What am I waiting for?
I stop in my tracks, chewing my lip, desperate to feel him against me.
Oh fuck it. My hands seem to have a
life of their own. They work their way up towards his neck. Palms pushing against the steely muscled warmth emanating from under his cotton t-shirt. Our eyes lock and I continue on my path, dipping down the hem before slowly lifting it. I tense, as my small hands are immediately enclosed in his hard rough male ones and stilled. He holds them there for a moment and then lets them drop. Our panting slows, as we lean into one another, forehead to forehead.
What had just happened?
“Why?” My voice is hollow and broken.
His groan, low in his throat shows frustration and annoyed I break free from his grasp.
Again… really?
“I want you Lu; God I want you.” The huskiness in his voice is unmistakable. “But not here. Not now. I want this to be special for you. Rule number one; I decide when and where.”
Oh crap I’d forgotten the rules.
I chew my lip, anger swimming inside me, ready to erupt volcanically. This guy just isn’t worth the hassle. The problem was that that was utter bollocks - He was totally worth it and I knew it!
“Rule number two; like I said I will need more than one night together. To satisfy you completely I’ll need several nights… or days … or afternoons.” His sensual smile is seductive with its promise but irritates me.
“I don’t know whether I like this. Maybe I want to decide if, when, where, how - or just keep us as friends. Why are you the one who gets to choose when?”
“I know your having a hard time with this, believe me, so am I - rock-hard.”
His eyes drop to his evident erection, straining through his jeans and it warms me that I did that.
“You know Rule number 2. Rule number 3; you mentioned that you’re open to anything. If I ask you do something you must trust me to try.” His dark chocolate eyes search mine for a reaction and satisfied with my outwardly undisturbed manner, he smiles. I’m starting to regret saying I was open to anything. Shit, what would he want me to do? I’m not a backdoor action kind of girl.
The One Awakened: Book 1 in The One Trilogy Page 13
