Walking into the foyer I follow her semi-covered form, until we reach the luxury hall; I can hear Adele’s Set fire to the rain, playing on the Bose surround system and my fears deepens. Very romantic!
“You wish to see Sebastian? I saw you earlier today I could have passed on any message on your behalf?” Her arms are crossed over her towel-clad body.
Hang on didn’t she gaily tell me to pop in?
Through gritted teeth I maintain my resolve to kill her with kindness but ignore her nosey questions.
“Is he in?” I say a little more forcefully this time, making it more than apparent that she is not the reason that I’m here.
Why hadn’t I just text him? Saved myself this hassle. I should never have listened to her.
She watches me, carefully dragging out the uncomfortable atmosphere, over several seconds and grinning with her invisible raised knife she delivers the first blow.
“He’s in the shower – I left him, to get the door. We thought you were the delivery guy with our pizza.”
I can tell from her evil glare, she is proud of her archery skills. Her words have pierced my heart and splintered it into a million pieces.
“Sebastian does get hungry after sex.”
Seriously? What a cow – like the first blow wasn’t enough!
I clench my jaw, lift my head and force a weak smile and through gritted teeth manage the words.
“Sorry to have disturbed you. Would you tell Sebastian that I’ll speak to him later.” I can hear my voice tremble slightly.
“I’ve told him no more work today Lucia, just pleasure. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do, as he’s been away a few days.” She raises her brows. “If you know what I mean. But I’ll pass the message on.”
I take in her stance, a look of deep satisfaction embedded upon her face.
My feet are rooted to the spot, as though stuck in concrete and I look around briefly and take in the Jo Malone candles burning on all surfaces, the two glasses of red wine on the table and the scattered clothing on the floor. Bringing my eyes, which threaten to spill over at any second with hot tears that would be likened to Niagara falls, back to smug bitch Toni with an ‘i’, I watch as she attempts to re-fasten her towel, letting it purposely slip and in the process almost completely drop to the floor. I am allowed an entirely deliberate and carefully planned exposure of her extremely fake breasts and completely shaven haven. I’m annoyed that I even give her the reward of briskly assessing her naked body but I begrudgingly admit to myself that she is very toned.
Her look is one of pure feline confidence in her own physique and her eyes literally glitter with the burn of success.
“Whoopsies!” she pretends to appear bashful. “Sebastian likes me stripped bare -everywhere!”
Copious amounts of false eyelash fluttering, add drama to her outlandish statement and pouting, she provides me with a bored sigh.
“Well, if that’s all Lucia?”
I can’t even look at her, let alone respond. It’s taking all my resolve not to grab her by the hair and throw her naked arse out on the doorstep. However, I breathe in through my nose, and exhale, mentally poised. Then woodenly manage to move my leaden feet, making my way back towards the doorway and on a heavy heart open the door – I honestly don’t know what to say or think. I just need to get out of there, fast before I see Sebastian.
She pushes the final nail in the coffin gleefully. “Thanks Lucia – have a good night. I most certainly will.”
The door slams behind me, it’s finality echoing and bouncing against my bruised and battered emotions. I think I stand on the porch for a few minutes in shock, mouth open, before I force my legs to put one step in front of the other and cocoon myself inside my car.
Oh. My. Word. Colin and I were completely off the mark with this one. Toni and Sebastian know each other exceedingly well, I conclude miserably. How could I have been so stupid?
How many fuck buddies did this guy have?
I take a second to compose myself and jumping, do a quick about turn in the direction of the large conifer tree at the bottom of the drive. I could have sworn that I saw something there; someone maybe, watching – there was definitely a noise? But upon thoroughly perusing the surrounding area, in the dusk lighting there is no one, nothing. I shiver with that someone’s just walked over your grave, sensation that always gives me the creeps and turn the key. I’ve had this feeling often of late. I’m seriously acting ridiculously paranoid – for all I know it was Toni getting her kicks from the window, at my misery!
The minute the engine starts and music filters through the speakers I break. Clubbed to death by Rob D, blasts through me, every beat hitting me over and over again, only adding to my crushing anxiety. I turn the volume up full whack and let the emotion of the song, wash over me and drive away from Hugh Hefner’s mansion in a rage of hurt, tears, and utter devastation.
The one thing at the centre of all my thoughts of the moment - the shower – the fact that he’d been getting down and not so dirty, with his playboy bunny, after our own monumental soapy sexual encounter, less than a week before. That was our thing. How could he?
I drive so fast I’m in danger of losing control and take a moment to wipe away the uncontrollable flurry of wet tears from my face, with my forearm. I need to clear the fog away and focus on the road.
“I can’t fucking believe it!” I scream into an empty car, hitting the steering wheel with the heel of my palm and wince as pain instantly reverberates throughout my arm.
Oh why not there too - everywhere else hurts right this minute!
Why would he do this to me? I know we weren’t a couple but surely I deserve better than this?
At the same time, my inner voice reminds me that this is what Sebastian is - what he does and has always been - a player.
I knew this when I propositioned him.
I knew this when I had sex with him the first time and I know this now, whilst we dance around this sexual affair. My own ego allowed me to expect that I’d be special enough to him, to be unique enough to be treated differently than his plethora of sexual partners. I hang my head in shame at my own stupidity.
You want more Lu - that’s the problem - he’s only given what you agreed.
Fuck, he’s given a hundred percent more than that - yet still you want more - you want his heart, his soul; his everything. You want him to love you.
Well not anymore! Not after he’d been with that skank Toni; they were welcome to one another.
If only it were that simple.
“I’m telling you Suzie this bitch was so in love with herself she didn’t have room left in her to put another person before her own needs – I bet she’s shit in bed!” I add cattily and instantly regret it, filling up with hot expectant droplets… again.
Suzie shakes her head in sympathy. “Oh my lovely, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe that Sebastian would do this to you. It’s so out of character for him?”
“Do what?” Gino shouts from the corner of the lounge, whilst keeping one eye firmly fixed on his play station thrashing.
“Bloody Seb has gone and cheated on Lucia – caught red-handed the bugger!” I can see Suzie is fuming for me, her protective sisterhood loyalty kicking in big-time.
It’s only when he speaks I realise that Gino has come to join us on their cream L-shaped sofa. Hmmm, he must care, giving up the games console for me. I’m touched!
He rakes a hand through his jet-black slightly wavy hair. “Seb and you? When did that happen?”
I smile up at him, with big liquid green eyes. “Its OK G. I know Suze told you. Right Suze?”
Looking in her direction she shrugs, innocently in a ‘Sorry I had to’ way and I shake my head. “It’s fine, really - you’re man and wife.”
“Thank F for that - I’m no actor.” The relief on Gino’s face is heartwarming.
“Anyway - no way Seb cheated - he’s a player but even he’s no
t that stupid to get caught!”
Suzie belts her husband across the arm in anger. “G! What the fuck? Did you know anything about this?”
Bless he looks a little torn. I’m his sister-in-law and Seb is his best friend - tough call. Lifting his hands and shoulders towards the sky, in an, ‘I know nothing’ pose, he frowns apologetically.
“I honestly don’t know Lu – I know he is really into you, even though he won’t admit it to the lads – but men never do. We’re dicks really. He’s never mentioned putting it to the PA though. He always said never to mix business with pleasure.”
I can see he is mentally working this one out. But it immediately reminds me that that is precisely what he has done with me, so he obviously doesn’t abide by his own rules, and therefore may bend the rules for other soapy enhanced females.
Gino continues. “Look if it makes you feel any better, he never told us boys about the proposition. Nathan and I knew something was going on between you - I mean, who didn’t? Shit - sparks fly around you two these days, but if you want my opinion, you may have started this, but Seb has wanted to finish it for a long time - it was the perfect chance for him. Si?”
“Thanks G I don’t know what to think. It’s all pretty screwed up. When we are together, its…” I stop and blush, composing myself before continuing, “… animalistic but when we’re apart we just… don’t work! What was I was thinking? How could we ever dabble with our friendship like this?” I feel a sharp pain stab through my chest, a reminder of his recent escapades.
“If you could have seen her – she dropped her towel in front of me – showed me everything God and the cosmetic surgeon gave her!” My face crumples.
“Slut!” Suzie shouts bluntly and at the exact same time Gino says, “Cool!” Thus rewarding him with another whack from his wife.
Justly reprimanded he continues unconvincingly. “Sorry Lu – definitely a very slutty thing to do. Sounds like she has made her stake for him though. She’s playing the game like a dude.”
I nod agreeing wholly. Toni had most certainly gone at this full-throttle- thought things out, planned to the nth degree.
“She’s completely waxed down below,” I add petulantly. “Nothing there. Nada. Zip.”
Gino’s ears prick up again; he’s such a perv. “Really? I prefer a bit of a runway strip myself - to you know, land the jumbo!” he winks cheekily at Suzie, who just gives him a withering glare and shakes her head. I can tell he’s trying to lighten the mood.
“Not so keen on a jungle bush though, just somewhere in between – Suze gets it just right - don’t ya baby?”
“Did you see Sebastian then?” Suzie ignores her sexually frustrated husband and sips her tea, gently encouraging me to continue and bring the conversation back to me.
“No I never saw him - he was in the shower apparently?”
“Whoa! Whoa, hang on a minute – you didn’t see him?” Gino suggests keenly, folding his arms like he has just solved the crime of the century. “Well there you go – maybe it wasn’t him? Or maybe she was just bullshitting?”
“Hold on there Miss Marple, just because he’s your mate doesn’t mean he isn’t capable of doing this!” Suzie spits out to Gino before chewing on her lip. “Although you do raise a valid point. It doesn’t account for her being in Sebastian’s house at night though, naked - I might add?”
I rub my now raw eyes, as they sting with the humiliation of it all.
“Lets not beat about the bush - no pun intended…” his eyes glint with mischief, trying to lighten the mood but his words lay on deaf ears and result in a third smack from his obviously rather hormonally aggressive wife. “Easy Babe… I was going to say, before you rudely interrupted me, ‘lets not beat about the bush… unless you saw it with your own eyes, you can’t be 100% certain it happened.”
I understand his reasoning but he hadn’t been there. Seen the floozy in question and the house all lit up in seductive ambience.
“Thanks guys for your support, I guess I need to just put all this down to a lucky escape but it doesn’t hurt any less. He showed me a good time, we had some fun and but I guess he missed sipping from several cups. We were only ever meant to have some fun - that’s what he provided. I just fancied more…”
Those words hit me hard. He was going to sleep with other women again - already was!
“I know we’ve been mates for years but I think I was falling in love with him, which doesn’t follow the FBR rule no.5.”
The words are out before I can stop myself and at them I feel myself collapse from within, even further. It’s true, I am more than halfway in love with him, probably always have been. Why today of all days, has my brain finally caught up with my heart?
“Oh Sis - come here!”
She uncrosses her baby blue velour designer tracksuit covered legs and draws me to her in a loving cuddle shooing Gino away at the same time. Taking his due he leaves us to it. I snuggle against her, comforted by the scent of Topaz Lenor fabric conditioner.
“I think you and I need to focus on having some much needed fun this bank holiday weekend, don’t you?” I nod mutely, drained and overcome by numbness. She was going to make a great mum, I consider, my mind drifting, as I sink into her cocoon-like grip.
She ignores my unwillingness to talk and chatters away despite it. “I know that Saturday night its the party and its at Mr. Sex-addict’s house, but you are going to go, whether you like it or not and at least show him what he is missing. Do not give that C U Next Tuesday Toni the upper hand!”
I cringe inwardly for both her vulgar language. I hate the ‘C’ word but right now, she can use it to her hearts content, where that cow is concerned - she deserved far worse. Crap - I’d forgotten about his housewarming, he’d planned it ages ago – there is no way in hell I’m going and humiliating myself, no bloody way!
Let’s just hope that this has put an end to it now - better safe than sorry was my motto, now matter how much I missed out, in life with it. Sebastian Silver had finally tupped the Yorkshire lass he’d been mates with for years; probably the only girl within a 100-mile radius he hadn’t already slept with. Now he could tick it off his bucket list and scratch another notch on his already battered bedpost and move on - leaving me the hell alone!
Whilst I feel like I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve at work the next day, I must be better at acting than I realise, as no-one seems to notice my despair, not even Colin, and he picked up on every mood swing usually. I’m glad for the gruelling gym, workout I’d pummelled out first thing this morning. My fitness routine had changed since all this commotion with Seb, and it was time I got back in the swing of things. The incessant treadmill run and cross trainer workout had been brutal and both drained and pumped me - my music blasting from my earphones; Tinie Tempah’ ‘Hero’ on repeat, sweat dripping from my body. I’d pushed myself beyond my usual limits - desperate to punish my body for its weakness and drown my thoughts out with angry dance music. It wasn’t often I could get into my gym so early, as I usually had Finn.
Speaking of my superstar - the one little ray of sunshine, keeping me going, was due to be dropped off this afternoon. I’d missed Finn so much and my mum had text me earlier to say that they were making good headway in the traffic, despite hitting roadworks. Apparently they’d had a ball in Wales and I’m so pleased he’d not only had fun but been well behaved for them.
My phone interrupts my thoughts. It’s him again. He seriously needs to get the message now. Do one! I decline the call and slip the ringer to silent. That must be the tenth call since last night. Soon he’d get the message. I don’t want to talk to him!
I get my head down and choose to ignore the empty ache I have clawing at my insides, a constant reminder of Sebastian’s unfaithfulness. The Ashton was beginning to take shape but also getting to that stage, where little mistakes could easily be made, if I wasn’t on the ball and let’s face my head is all over the place!
Jackie in
terrupts my thoughts. “It’s Seb, again Lu - I told him you’re out. Shouldn’t you just talk to him though? Save all the calls. He sounds pissed.”
I shake my head, reluctant to discuss the situation; I’m not ready to do that yet.
She smiles knowingly. “No probs. I’ve told him that you are out for a meeting now, so that should give you some breathing space; although why you’d want it with that man. He sounds delish!”
He is delish! Toni thinks so too.
My phone buzzes with texts from Suzie and Abby, both questioning how I am and wanting updates. I don’t have the strength to respond in detail so just post each of them a quick ‘x’ and go back to my designs.
Twenty minutes later, doing a little vibrating dance on the desk, a text comes through from him. My heart pounds, mouth dry – I can’t look; can’t believe I even want to see what he has to say for himself.
Incredible. Worth the wait. Ache for u.
Not sure why you’ve gone AWOL but I’m thinking of u Lady Lu.
xxx
I can’t take any more of this. I reel off a quick text to my mum to say I’ll meet them back at theirs and gather up my paraphernalia. Laptop, bag, and swatches Right I have everything. I say my goodbyes to Jackie and Colin and head out to meet my favourite man. One of the perks of being your own boss was making your own hours and today I was leaving early.
Why wasn’t she answering her phone?
I’d called her sixteen times since Thursday night. Now I looked like a fucking stalker!
I’d had Ralph drive me home in rush hour traffic on a Friday to get back in time to meet her at work only to find she’d left early for Finn. I hadn’t heard from her, spoken to her, since we kissed one another goodbye yesterday morning.
Was that only yesterday? God it felt like weeks ago.
For fucks sake, she occupies my thoughts all day, every day. This was bordering on obsessive.
The One Awakened: Book 1 in The One Trilogy Page 34
