“Now if all you wanted was to be handcuffed or tied up, why didn’t you just say so in the first place? That can be easily arranged.” His face turned from joking to serious in a split second and I guess he could tell I was nervous because his face went straight back to joking again. “I’m joking Jayde. It was a joke.” Nervously, I nod. That was all I could do because my whole body was on fire from that simple question. The way he speaks is too odd. A sudden thought hits me when I think, could he be Angel? If he was, why wouldn’t he tell me? Oh crap, is it bad of me to pray to the good lord above that I hope he wasn’t Angel?
Chapter 27
Jayde
Maybe Finn is too good to be true. I mean, if he could tap into one of my sexual fantasies like that then who knows what he would do? Because he can’t say stuff like that without it meaning something. The seriousness of what went through my mind was unheard of. “Umm, yeah of course I knew you were joking. Pssh, of course.” I waved him away, letting on I knew he was joking. That would be embarrassing if he thought I took him seriously, and that wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing since I did want to be tied up, just not by him. Finn strikes me as the type of guy who could handle a woman like me, curves and all. “Well that’s a relief because like I said, I’m not into that.” He says and I nod slowly. Great just great. He leans back on the couch and flexes his arms on the back, and I take notice of his taut muscles flexing and straining against his shirt. “So Jayde, what do you do? If I may be so bold in asking?”
Nobody has ever asked me what I do. Journalism doesn’t sound like a hot shot career to many. How do I explain this? So I go with the bold and honest truth. “I’m a journalist.” He perks up at my answer. “That’s cool. What sort of content do you write?” He asks. Shit, I was hoping he wouldn’t ask. “Umm, I give beauty tips and advice.”
“Oh, so you wouldn’t be able to give me any beauty tips?” He asks pouting and I smile. Yeah, like how you’d look completely naked. Whoa, dammit. No I can’t and shouldn’t go there. “Sure, what season are you?” I ask, smiling wide catching him off guard.
His eyebrows scrunch up. “Excuse me? My season?” I nod. “Yeah, what colors look best on you? Everyone has a season.” I watch as he ponders my question for a minute. “I guess I’m an autumn. Browns and oranges always look good on me.” Leaning back, his admittance to color schemes shocked me. I never expected him to know the difference.
“Wow, impressive.” This little lie turned out to be interesting. There was no way he was going to know what I actually write for the magazine. No way in hell. One should always tell the truth but in this case, no.
“I’m sure your job gets pretty demanding, doesn’t it?”
I reply. “Yeah it does. It can get pretty stressful that’s for sure. But an IT specialist sounds like a really cool job. Working with computers and fixing them, stuff like that right?”
He nods. “Yep, I do all that. It’s pretty amazing but like your job, it can also get very stressful. One slip up and I can lose countless amounts of data. You got to really know what you’re doing.” Sounds like his job is a hell of a lot more stressful than mine. Damn, and I thought mine was bad. “And yes, I realize my appearance put off that I was the typical nerd, am I right?” He asks, lifting one eyebrow causing me to smile. “Maybe, but in a cute Clark Kent sort of way.” He looks me over as he straightens up on the couch. “And a fan of superman? A girl after my own heart.” He says as he leans in closer, like he’s observing. I almost miss the mesmerizing flicker of green in his chocolate orbs as he inches towards me. “You have the most beautiful eyes, Jayde. They’re so green like two emeralds surrounded by diamonds.” I swallow as I stare up into his face. Was he about to kiss me? Do I want him to kiss me? No, not after what happened between Zac and me. I can’t let that happen. He was attractive, but I knew there was something between Zac and I and I very much wanted to find out. More so than what I found out earlier which still had me shaking. Quickly turning my head, he kisses the side of my cheek instead. “Sorry, I can’t. I just got out of a bad relationship, and I can’t do this. I’m sorry Finn.” All of it was a lie. There was a pretty good chance I was going to hell for the little white lies I was telling. When I see the look of disappointment in his eyes, I stand up quickly and throw my laptop into its bag and head for the door.
“Jayde, wait please.” Finn calls to me and I halt in my tracks. He grabs my arm, turning me around to face him. “I shouldn’t have tried to kiss you. It’s just that you’re so beautiful and I couldn’t help myself. Please forgive me for being so forward?”
The look of remorse catches me off guard but I quickly nod, unable to say anything else right now. “Yes, I umm I forgive you. Sorry, but I have to go now. See you later on Finn and thank you for letting me use your internet.” He reaches in for a hug and I give him one, but it’s quick and platonic. I don’t waste any more time showing him any kind of affection. Turning around, I quickly walk back to my apartment. Should I turn around to see if he’s watching? I can almost feel his eyes piercing my back like a dagger. When I get back inside my apartment, I slide down the door settling on the floor. This was going to be one fucked up situation. No doubt I’m going to have two guys on my hands.
There have been worst things, right?
Chapter 28
Zac
If there was an alarm that could have gone off at the right time to prevent me from making her mine now would have been the perfect time. Not that I would have even acknowledged it. I was too far gone. The little voice inside my head was telling me there is no way I could corrupt her. She was too pure, too angelic. But my dick apparently didn’t get the memo because after I left Jayde’s apartment, I had such a raging hard on again which caused me to pull over to the side of the road and jack off to the thought of her luscious body beneath mine, as I thrusted in and out. God damn it all! I needed to get my shit together and under control.
The next day when I walk into my office, Craig looks up at me from his computer like I’ve committed a crime. “What’s going on with you?”
“What do you mean?” I ask. What is this the third degree? He simply shrugs his shoulders. “Nothing man, you seem off. Like you haven’t slept in days.” Maybe sleep is what I needed. It surely would be very much appreciated. “Nah man, I’m fine. Just stressed is all.” I say with a heavy sigh as I settle into my chair. Stressed would be an easier term to describe how I’m feeling instead of lust hungry for a curvy brunette just down the road who I’d like to do a hundred different things to. Or let’s not forget the fact I jerked off to thoughts of her after I left her apartment yesterday.
“Just let it go man, I’ll be fine.”
He eyes me suspiciously. “Uh-huh, I think I know what you need. You need to get laid, don’t you? Would some pussy help you out with that “stress?” Craig air quotes stress with his fingers and I flip him off. “No you asshole, I don’t need to get laid. I’m plenty okay in that department.”
He laughs and takes a sip of his coffee just as chief walks in with a huge, stuffed manila folder. “Hey boys, what’s so funny?” I look up and catch Craig’s smirk. “Nothing sir, just good ole joking between friends. What do you have there?” I ask and before I can say something, he hands me the folder. “Wha…what is this, chief?”
Chief settles into the chair beside my desk and looks me square in the eye. Oh no, this can’t be good. “Do you remember last week when I mentioned the hacker? The one who had his eyes set on Jayde? Well he disappeared for a while but he’s resurfaced. And much closer than we have previously anticipated.” Without another thought, I flip open the front flap of the folder and scan through the contents, carefully examining each paper. “This can’t be happening.” I say. “This asshole is this close to her and she is completely unaware of what’s going on? I’m going to kill him. No, I’ll skin his ass alive for getting this fucking close to her.” Slamming the folder down onto the desk, I stand up and pace back and forth, grabbing at my face with a grunt. Dam
mit, I knew this was a bad idea. Craig sits there looking dumbstruck when my entire world is crumbling around me. “I don’t know if I can do this Chief. If something happens to her…”
“Nothing is going to happen to her son. You’ll protect her and keep his grimy paws away from her. You got this. You’ve trained to handle cases of this magnitude.” He says. Chief gives me a saddened expression. “But there’s another thing. You can’t go anywhere near her while he is around her because then he’ll figure it out. So I’m sorry son, but you’ll have to miss the charity ball.
“Chief, I can’t bail on this ball. There has got to be somebody to cover this. Just for one night. What about Craig?” I say, pointing to Craig who immediately straightens up and looks over giving me the don’t-fucking-think-about-it look.
“Marshall, if I didn’t think you could do it, I wouldn’t have specifically chosen you for this job. With the connection you have with Jayde, you’re the only one who can get close enough to protect her. I have complete faith in you.”
Well, shit. I guess I have no choice now. Closing the folder, I sigh in defeat. “Okay, I’ll do it. But I hope you know my faith in myself is all over the place. I don’t know.”
Chief smiles a huge grin. “Thanks son, I knew I could count on you. And it’s okay to have unbound faith, but you need to let that go because Jayde needs you now more than ever. Your faith needs to be anchored down fast and soon.” He clasps his hand over my shoulder before standing up and walking back into his office. Craig walks over to my desk and settles where chief just left. “So what are you going to do? You can’t bail on Jayde. You’ll look like a major dick if you do.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” I say a little louder than a whisper. “Jayde’s going to be pissed the fuck off when she finds out I bailed, not to mention heartbroken.” Craig nods in agreement but being the asshole he is, he smirks. “Hey if umm, you can’t take her, I’ll take her to the ball.” His joke catches me off guard and I slam my fist down in anger. “Fuck no. Over my dead body you’re taking her anywhere. I’ll find some way to make it up to her. I have to.”
I glance over to where my phone sits on my desk and there’s only one way to break it. If I don’t tell her, then she’ll be heartbroken. If I tell her, she’ll be heartbroken and afraid. There’s no other way to do this. My phone sits there like an elephant in the room and I know when I touch it, it’ll burn like hell because I’d rather walk across hot coals, barefoot than make this phone call or text message or however the hell I’m going to do this. Craig stands back up and walks back to his desk without another word. There were a lot of things in this world that didn’t bother me but having a friend move in on my girl was probably at the top of the list of things that really pissed me off. My girl. I like the sound of that.
The phone still sat untouched and I willed my hand to gravitate towards it. Fuck, just do it. Quit being a little bitch and just do it. I typed out a message to Jayde and regretted every single word I said.
“Hey baby, it’s Zac. I really hate that I’m doing this over text message and not in person but…” I quickly delete the message. I can’t do this without seeing her face to face, so I start once more. “Hey baby, guess who? Just wanted to see if you would like to grab coffee with me later on. Hope to hear back soon.” Her reply is almost instant. “Sure I’d love to. Meet me at my sister’s café around 4? Okay! ;)”
I melt back down into my chair. This isn’t going to go as planned, I can tell right now. My fucking stomach is in knots from the pressure I’m feeling. Craig looks over his computer at me. “It’ll be okay man. She will understand. Don’t sweat it. Does she know you’ve been writing her?” I look up at him in surprise then scan the office and notice we are alone. Huh, I didn’t even notice. “No she doesn’t know about that. It’s only a matter of time before she finds out though but when she does, she’ll hate me even more.” He frowns.
“She doesn’t hate you. Trust me, you’d know if a chick hates you by the way she ignores you. So trust me, she doesn’t hate you.”
I nod. Maybe he was right. I grab my phone and reply with an okay and a wink. There’s no way to avoid the inevitable. It has got to be done. But after it happens, how am I going to make it up to her?
Chapter 29
Jayde
Walking into the coffeehouse, the usual crowd is there. The loud family, the grumpy old men, and then sitting in the far corner, is Zac. I smile as he looks up and spots me. He’s just as good looking as when I saw him yesterday. If it’s even possible for somebody to get more good looking, he succeeded. He stands up and greets me when I walk over. “Hey you.” He says and kisses me on the cheek before I sit down into the booth. “Hey back. I’m glad you texted me. I’ve been thinking about you since yesterday.”
Zac looks up and smiles but it’s faint. “Well you aren’t the only one, trust me. I can’t stop thinking about you.” He says, taking my hand in his and skims his thumb across my knuckles in slow circular patterns. “I’m going to cut to the chase, and it’s not easy. I’ve asked you to meet me here for a reason, Jayde.” He says.
My heart drops into my stomach. “Oh, really?” The way he says it makes me immediately on edge. “What is it?” I ask hesitantly.
There’s sadness in his eyes and it’s mixed with a sense of guilt. “If there was any other way to do this, I would. You know . But I won’t be able to take you to the charity ball tomorrow.”
This can’t be happening. He can’t be serious. My jaw drops open and I fight the tears that are starting to fall, “Please tell me this isn’t true. Please!” I don’t fight the tears anymore as they fall in big drops down my cheeks and land on my shirt. Zac lets go of my hand and I pull it back towards my chest and wrap my arms around myself. My greatest fear is coming to life. He only wanted sex and now that he got it, he’s leaving. I should have known this was too good to be true. The one man I gave my virginity too, the one man I’ve cared about it, is blowing me off. I fucking hate him.
“I think you should leave, Zac.” As I say the words, he looks like I slapped him across the face. The longer he sits there, the more it hurts. I can’t take anymore hurt. I won’t tolerate it.
“Please let me explain baby. I…I like you. I like you a lot. And if there was any other way I could do this, I would but I can’t. Work has gotten in the way.” I bite my lip to stop more tears from falling which only does the opposite. He’s lying. I know he is.
“Please don’t cry baby, I can’t stand it to see you cry.”
“Then why would you say things like that? Make plans then the next day cancel them?” I scream out. Everyone in the coffee shop turns and looks in our direction. His voice lowers to a whisper as he tries to explain. “I can’t anymore babe. I’m so sorry for hurting you.”
The way I see it, I have two choices. I can walk away without saying a word or I can fight. The latter seems like the way to go. “So that’s it then? We fucked on the floor of my apartment and now you’re canceling on me? How could you? I knew it was too good to be true! All you fucking wanted from me was sex and since you got it, that’s it am I right?”
Zac stands up to grab ahold of me but I push him away. “No don’t touch me.” Bingo, he pulls away. “Tell me the truth. I deserve that much.” More tears cascade down my cheeks. I can’t take this hurt anymore. I should have known than to get involved with somebody I just met. This was a huge mistake.
“Baby…I can’t tell you. Please look at me. ” He pleads with me but I’m ignoring him. Nothing he can say right now or do will fix the hurt I feel.
“Please leave. I can’t talk or even look at you right now. Just go.” With a heavy sigh in defeat, he stands up and leans in to kiss me on the forehead but I lean over out of his reach. When they say if it’s too good to be true, it probably is. Well they were right. Immediately, I pull my phone out of my pocket and text Anna. “Coffee shop. 911. ASAP.” Whenever I send 911, she knows that it’s extremely urgent that I need her right this minute.
Not ten minutes later, Anna is running into the coffee shop, panting and out of breath. “Okay, what’s going on honey?” Sarah walks over before Anna gets to the table.
“I saw the whole thing. Want me to bring him back so we can kick his ass?” She asks as she slides into the booth. Anna scoots in directly beside Sarah. “Yeah, whose ass are we kicking today?”
“Zac canceled his plans on me for tomorrow. He can’t take me to the charity ball.” Anna looks like she’s about to jump up and raise hell. “Oh hell no he cannot cancel on you and blow you off like that. I should go find him and give him a piece of my mind!” I force a smile. This is why I love these two girls sitting in front of me. Always willing to do whatever is necessary to keep me happy, it’s not like I wouldn’t do the same for them.
Sarah takes my hand along with Anna’s and holds them together. “Listen, Jayde. I know you’re bummed now that he canceled on you, but the way I see it you can sit here and sulk, or you can chin up, turn this negative into a positive and do something to make you feel better. It’s a big world out there, and you’re sitting here in a small coffee shop crying over some guy you’ve met just a week ago.” I nod at her attempt to make me feel better. “But you don’t get it Sarah. When you know, you know. I can’t explain how I feel when I’m around him. There’s something about him that makes my stomach flip and I don’t feel like myself. Is it possible to fall in love in such a short amount of time? I think so. Especially after you’ve had sex with a guy, you gain some weird attachment to them.”
Sarah’s jaw drops after I confess to what I’ve done. Dammit, she didn’t know what I did. I guess the cat’s out of the bag now. “You did what? You…you lost your virginity to him? I don’t know whether to be angry or proud.” Ever since we were younger, I’ve always done things like Sarah. I didn’t do anything unless Sarah did it first. The same goes for guys. If Sarah kissed a guy, then I wanted to kiss a guy. Well, I guess this was one thing she hadn’t done.
Unbound Faith (Bulletproof #1) Page 16
