Always a Bridesmaid

by Lizzie Shane

  Max picked up on the second ring. “Hey.”

  She didn’t bother with pleasantries. “I’m being evicted.”

  “What? I thought your landlords loved you.”

  “They do. But they’re selling. I thought month-to-month gave me all this freedom, but it turns out it’s also the freedom to be kicked out with three weeks’ notice.”

  “Crap. What are you gonna do?”

  “House hunt, I guess. Though I have to admit it’s tempting to pull a Max and run off to Thailand and leave all this bullshit behind—maybe the Peace Corps is hiring.”

  “Hey. You aren’t going anywhere. I have a perfectly good guest room with your name on it until you can find something better. You can pay me in baked goods.”

  “I can’t do that, Max.”

  “Why not? I’m your friend and I want to help you out. So let me. Unless you think Parker would object.”

  Parv froze. She’d forgotten about Parker. Was that a bad sign? Wasn’t she supposed to run to him when these things happened? Though they were still new. She just wasn’t in the habit of relying on him yet. Though it hadn’t been a hard habit to get into with Max.

  “What did he say when you told him?” Max asked.

  “I haven’t talked to him yet,” she admitted. “He has to work today.” Though the excuse felt weak. She hadn’t even thought of him. Her first instinct had been Max.

  “I’m serious about you staying with me.” Max’s voice was unbearably comforting. And strangely enough it was Parker’s presence in her life that made her comfortable answering the way she did.

  “I might take you up on that.”

  * * * * *

  Parker rose from their usual booth at the sushi restaurant they’d gotten in the habit of visiting on Saturday nights, smiling a greeting. “Hey, babe. You look great. Good day?”

  “Actually it was lousy,” Parv admitted, sliding into the booth opposite him, irrationally annoyed that he couldn’t tell her day had sucked. “I’m losing my apartment.”

  Parker went still behind his menu, chin tucked down, only his pale blue eyes moving, evading her gaze. “What are you going to do?” he asked, after a barely noticeable pause.

  But she did notice. And though he’d used the same words Max had, they sounded completely different. Perfect Parker almost seemed scared. As if he knew the Good Boyfriend would immediately ask her to move in with him and the idea horrified him so much he couldn’t face it.

  Not that she wanted to move in with him. She knew it was too early for that—and moving in together too soon just because she was desperate sounded like a good way to kill a budding relationship—but the fact that his reaction to the thought seemed to be fear didn’t exactly inspire confidence.

  Of course she would have been the strong, independent woman who said no and stood on her own two feet—or leaned on Max—but she wanted Parker to at least want to take care of her.

  The last year had been a process of breaking down and stripping away the life she’d had—her friends, her job, now her home. This was just the cherry on top. Her boyfriend hitting the panic button at the idea of something more permanent with her.

  “I have a friend who’s willing to let me crash in his guest room. At least until I can find something else—since I have so little notice.”

  Parker visibly brightened. “Good. That’s good.” Then his brows pulled together. “His guest room? Is this that Max? The one you say you hang out with sometimes?”

  “Yeah.” And then—even though she knew she shouldn’t, even though she knew it would be picking a fight, she looked him dead in the eye and challenged, “Is that a problem?”

  Parker set down his menu. “Exactly how close are you?”

  She knew Parker was insecure about being cheated on, knew he had a tendency to veer toward jealousy at the slightest little hint that she was interested in someone else, but she told herself he had to trust her, that she was justified in pushing this button.

  “How close are you and Jenna?”

  He flushed at the mention of the female friend who used his place as a landing pad whenever she and her off-again-on-again boyfriend were on the outs—which seemed to be every other weekend. “That isn’t the same.”

  “Because I’ve never slept with Max and you dated Jenna for two years when you were in college? Is that how it’s different?”

  “We’re just friends.”

  “And so are Max and I.” And if she was a little extra defensive about that, no force on earth would have made her admit it in that moment. “And I’m lucky he has someplace for me to crash.” Since Perfect Parker seemed to have no interest in being her white knight. Not that she needed one. But the man sure knew how to wreck a fairy tale fantasy. “Should we order?”

  * * * * *

  “Are you sure you don’t need help moving your stuff into my place?” Max wedged his phone between his ear and shoulder, waving Pretty Boy into his office when he knocked on the open door.

  “No. Parker’s going to help me. Since your furniture is so much nicer than mine, my crap is all going into a storage unit and we’re mostly just bringing over boxes.”

  “Okay, but give me a call if you need anything. I’m happy to force my employees to do physical labor for you.” Pretty Boy made a face. “See you later, Parv.”

  She would be in his house when he got home that night. He tried not to get too excited by the thought. He was helping out a friend. Nothing more. A taken friend. Who was moving her stuff in with her boyfriend as he hung up the phone.

  “Parvati’s moving in with you?” Pretty Boy asked as he set his phone on his desk. “I always thought she was cute.”

  “She’s off limits.”

  “Well, of course she is, if she’s moving in with you.”

  “It isn’t like that,” Max explained.

  “No? That why you almost jumped across your desk and throttled me when I said she was cute?” Max glared and Pretty Boy grinned his lazy, easy grin. “Never mind. You do you, Boss. What did you want to see me about?”

  “I wanted to ask you about Candy.”

  Pretty Boy’s open expression instantly closed. “What about her?”

  “I don’t know what’s going on with you two and I don’t want to. I just wanted to know if you’d noticed her having any problems with clients lately.”

  “You mean Hank the Hammer.”

  Max swore under his breath. He’d hoped his gut was wrong, but Pretty Boy hadn’t hesitated for a second. “Is he harassing her?”

  “Not that she admits,” Pretty Boy said. “But I don’t think he’s calling all the time just because he’s worried about darling Cherish.”

  Max grimaced. The Hammer had called at least half a dozen times trying to get Max to assign Candy as Cherish’s full time, live-in bodyguard, refusing to accept his referrals to other close protection services or his insistence that Candy didn’t do that kind of work. He’d suspected Hank wasn’t leaving it at that, but Candy tended to keep her troubles close to the vest, so he hadn’t known for sure.

  But if Pretty Boy was worried too, he would take a more active stance. No client—no matter how big a star they thought they were—had the right to try to intimidate one of his people.

  “You think she’ll talk to you about it?” Max asked.

  “I doubt it, but I’ll give it a shot if you want.”

  “Yeah. Thanks.”

  “You got it, Boss.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  By the second week of March, Parvati was beginning to wonder if it was possible to overanalyze until she drove herself into a nervous breakdown.

  She was still working at Lacey’s and submitting resumes for every job she was remotely qualified for so she could stop being dependent on Max—though he didn’t seem to mind. But the job quest couldn’t take up all her time and every other waking hour seemed to be consumed by obsessing over her possible future—or lack thereof—with Parker.

  Maybe she was just the kind of
person who created stress in her life, and without Common Grounds to generate stress she would fabricate it with Perfect Parker.

  Or maybe he wasn’t so perfect and she needed to listen to her instincts and get out before things got any more serious than they already were.

  She needed someone she could talk to about her semi-constant relationship panic, but Sidney had been sucked back into her work vortex when Once Upon a Bride was renewed for a second season. Parv saw Max all the time, and it was tempting to talk to him, but it felt wrong to badmouth Parker to Max. Like she’d be crossing a line she couldn’t come back from.

  No. Clear boundaries were better where Max and Parker were concerned. Friends on one side. Boyfriends on the other.

  Maybe that was why she never invited Parker to Max’s, always going over to his place instead. It would just be too weird, being with Parker in Max’s house. Luckily Parker didn’t seem to mind—he always suggested meeting at his place anyway since it saved him the hour plus commute up to Eden.

  She walked through the front door of Once Upon a Bride on a Friday night after the shop was officially closed, half-hoping to see Sidney for a few minutes even though it was Tori who’d asked her to drop by. But when the little bell over the door chimed, it was Tori who stepped out from the back room, looking like a high end ad for a maternity magazine.

  “Parvati. Thanks for coming. I’d planned to drop by Lacey’s to have a word, but then I realized I didn’t know your schedule.”

  “I don’t mind coming by. Is Sidney here?”

  Tori shook her head, waving Parv over to the cozy seating area where they wooed their prospective clients—not that their clients needed much wooing these days with their sudden fame as wedding planners. “She’s got an event of some kind with the network, schmoozing advertisers, but it’s best she isn’t around since I wanted to talk to you about bachelorette party stuff and Caitlyn thought it’d be fun if it was a surprise.”

  “Marrying Mister Perfect Caitlyn?”

  “I know you and I are technically maid and matron of honor, but Caitlyn was so grateful for everything Sidney did for her for her own wedding, she wanted to make the bachelorette party something really special. So we’ve been talking and we were thinking that the same weekend Josh’s buddies are taking him to Vegas, we’d all chip in and get a villa at a resort in Baja California. Sidney’s not really a blow-job shots, dildo necklaces and male strippers kind of girl, but sun, sand, and margaritas with the girls?”

  “She’d love it,” Parv said, weakly. Because Sidney would love it. And Parvati couldn’t afford it. Especially when she was already spending hundreds she didn’t have on bridesmaid dresses and gifts for Sidney’s posh bridal shower the following day.

  “That’s what we thought. It’s the perfect place to forget about the stress of planning the Wedding of the Century—which Sidney is convinced her wedding has to be or she’ll singlehandedly destroy our brand. She’s putting all this pressure on herself, so we are going to make this the most relaxing bachelorette getaway possible. None of us can get away for long—which is why we were thinking Mexico rather than Caribbean, shorter flights for those who are flying and I’ll be able to drive down since I’ll be in my third trimester and can’t fly, but there’s this resort Miranda knows near Ensenada where they used to film Marrying Mister Perfect dream dates and it sounds amazing—”

  Tori went on and Parv tuned out, mentally adding up the tally—flights, her share of the villa, taxis, probably parasailing and scuba diving and swimming with dolphins because they’d want the weekend to be special for Sidney. And Parv wanted that too.

  She just didn’t have the money.

  What kind of loser couldn’t afford to celebrate her best friend in the whole world’s wedding in style? It was the one time—hopefully—that Sidney was ever going to marry the love of her life. Parv would make it work.

  Parv tuned back in to find Tori had segued back into talking about the stresses of planning the Wedding of the Century.

  “And then Sidney’s been completely consumed by this new season of Once Upon a Bride so I’m pretty much managing this side of the business by myself and we’re busier than ever. Thank God for Madison or I’d be even more behind than I am. I don’t suppose you have two more like her hidden somewhere?”

  “You need more help?”

  “Desperately. Madison is amazing, but she has her classes and we don’t want to completely overload her. She’s eager to learn and I think when she graduates we might bring her on as a full-time assistant and train her in event planning, but that’s not for another year and with all the attention we’ve been getting from the show, we really need a full-time receptionist we can trust to manage the phone and email inquiries, but I don’t even have time to put up an ad, let alone interview candidates—”

  “I could do it. I’d still want to work at Lacey’s, but she’s said she can be flexible with my schedule.”

  Tori’s face lit, but her eyes were hesitant. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel like you have to bail us out—”

  “We’d be bailing each other out.” And she couldn’t really afford pride right now. Or squeamishness. “How much does it pay?”

  She was just grateful it was Tori she was negotiating with. She couldn’t have had this conversation with Sidney. Not after twenty years of being on equal footing. She couldn’t have gone begging.

  “Babe?” Nick’s voice carried down the back stairs from the apartment above, accompanied by the sound of his footsteps on the treads. “Dinner’ll be ready in ten—oh, sorry to interrupt. I didn’t know you were here, Parvati.”

  “We were just finishing up,” Parv explained as Tori’s husband approached the sitting area, looking less like a lawyer and more like a handyman in his ragged jeans and t-shirt.

  “Would you like to stay for dinner?” Nick asked after a glance exchanged with his wife. “It’s lasagna night—Lore’s favorite.”

  “No, I can’t stay. I have plans with Parker. But thanks for the invite.”

  “Anytime.” Nick gave his pregnant wife one last look—a look that somehow felt more intimate than a kiss—and retreated upstairs.

  Parv couldn’t help the bite of envy. They had it. That elusive thing she was looking for. The connection. The intimacy.

  Parker had never looked at her like that—but she’d only known him three months compared to the decades of history Tori and Nick had built up.

  “So how is Perfect Parker?” Tori asked, then caught something in Parv’s expression and her own fell. “Uh oh. Not so perfect?”

  “I don’t know. Relationships are about compromise, right?” She looked at Tori, half pleading. “You’re married. Things aren’t always perfect with Nick, are they?”

  Tori snorted. “No. Things are not always perfect. I think the more you love someone, the more they know exactly which buttons to push to make you crazy. The question is—even when you’re arguing does the idea of being apart make you even crazier than the thought of staying together?”

  “We don’t really argue.” Not since their little discussion about her moving in with Max. “Not that we don’t disagree on things, but with the small things I just…”

  Parv blinked, going still with the realization.

  She gave him his way. That was why they didn’t argue.

  Whenever Parker started to get upset and sullen, she would see a choice in front of her clear as day between starting a fight and giving him his way. And she would give him what he wanted—because relationships were about compromise and she needed to prove that she could make it work.

  Moving in with Max was the one time she hadn’t done that.

  “I want it to work with him,” she admitted to Tori. “I’m just not sure that’s the same thing as it actually working. But then I start worrying that I’m being unreasonable and sabotaging the relationship by overthinking every single thing.”

  “What are you worried about?” Tori asked.

  “That he doesn’
t want to be with me. He just wants someone to fill the Girlfriend Role. That he doesn’t actually care about me as much as the idea of me.” That I feel the same way about him.

  It had been such a relief just to be able to tell people that she was seeing someone. To not have to deal with the pitying glances anymore. To be part of the club.

  “Those first few dates, I felt so connected to him. He was funny and easy to be with and we had inside jokes about jellybeans, but now sometimes even when I’m sitting right next to him I will feel completely alone. And I don’t know if that’s me or him or…”

  “Or?” Tori prompted gently.

  “Please don’t tell Sidney, but I wonder if I’m screwing this up because of Max. I hadn’t seen him for months when I met Parker and now we’re hanging out again and I never feel alone when I’m with him—”

  “Max Dewitt?”

  “I know. Believe me, I know he’s not the kind of guy who stays. And Parker is. Parker will never leave me. But is that reason enough to stay with him? Just for that security of knowing I don’t have to worry about being dumped?”

  “If that’s the only reason you’re with him—”

  “It isn’t. I just—I don’t know what I want right now. Is he Perfect-on-Paper Parker or is that my self-sabotaging tendencies talking? Am I a complete relationships failure? Am I expecting too much? Have I read too many romance novels and watched too many seasons of Marrying Mister Perfect and completely screwed up my idea of what love should be? Or do I have a right to hold out for a little magic in my life?”

  “Just don’t expect every moment to be magical.”

  “I don’t. But it would be nice if there were a few sparks.”

  Her chemistry with Parker had been unimpressive from the start, but she’d told herself that attraction would grow over time. She’d noticed often enough that a Suitor on Marrying Mister Perfect who seemed hot at first glance could be ugly by the third episode because he turned out to be such a dick and someone who was sort of odd looking at first could become handsome in her eyes by the end because of his sweet personality.