Always a Bridesmaid

by Lizzie Shane

  She needed him to know that he would always be the latter, even if he was also always going to be the former. She needed to keep him as her friend. This wasn’t a fairy tale, where they lived happily ever after. She knew that. This was the story where Cinderella and Prince Charming enjoyed the ball while it lasted and then went their separate ways. And she needed him to know that she already knew that because she didn’t think she could bear listening to him explain it.

  But first…

  She closed the distance between them and kissed him—quick enough to avoid the horrors of morning breath, but long enough for him to know she meant it as more than a brush off.

  “I like you, Max. I even love you, in a way, but don’t worry that I don’t know what I’m doing. I know you. And maybe this won’t be forever, but I refuse to think of it as a mistake—and if it is a mistake I’m making it with my eyes open. I’m choosing this. I’m choosing you. For however long it lasts.”

  And she wouldn’t get in too deep. She wouldn’t get hurt because she knew what she was getting into.

  * * * * *

  She was saying exactly what his fantasy version of her would say—all the affection, all the sex, none of the commitment. So there was no explanation for why Max almost felt a little…hurt by the words. Maybe the idea of forever scared the shit out of him. Maybe he was a man who didn’t know the first thing about long term relationships, but he still wanted her to want it. He wanted her to give him the benefit of the doubt. To believe that he could do it even when he didn’t.

  Shit. He wanted her to at least want him to love her.

  Because he fucking loved her, damn it.

  But how could he say that now, with her lying there beside him giving him an out? Would she even believe him? Or would she think that was part of his game—that he told all the women he dated that he loved them in week one and then dumped them in week three?

  It wasn’t supposed to go like this.

  Not that he had any fucking clue how it was supposed to go, but he was used to women coiling around him like clinging vines, not throwing open the gates and telling him to run free.

  He didn’t like it.

  But how did you argue with a woman who was giving you exactly what you always wanted in relationships? What if he talked her into a real relationship and then screwed it up? What if he lost her as his friend?

  If he was her rock, she was his. She was his connection to the world. He couldn’t lose her.

  He reached out, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “So we’re in this for as long as it lasts. All in.”

  He needed to be exclusive.

  “All in,” she agreed. “For as long as it lasts.”

  “Do I need to wear a suit to Katie’s wedding?”

  Parvati’s big brown eyes flew wide with panic. “You can’t come to Katie’s wedding. My entire family will start planning ours.”

  “You’d rather go alone and explain to everyone why you aren’t bringing Parker?”

  “No.” She groaned, burying her head in the pillow. “But we can’t go as a couple. Just friends.”

  “And if I want to kiss you on the dance floor?”

  “Restrain yourself.” Her grin turned wicked. “I’ll make it up to you when we get home.”

  His smile matched hers. “I think I might want a preview of what this making it up to me would entail.”

  “I believe that could be arranged…” Her hand slid down his chest.

  Max closed his eyes, taking a moment before his thoughts blanked out as the blood rushed away from his brain to remind himself to savor every second of this. To burn every last moment into his memory. For as long as he had her. Because all too soon she could be gone.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Katie’s wedding was flawless.

  Parv clutched her bouquet at the far end of a long line of bridesmaids, making sure not to lock her knees so she wouldn’t pass out, determined not to do anything to mar Katie’s big day—though from the light in Katie’s eyes every time she looked at Jonah, the chuppah could have come crashing down around their ears and neither of them would have noticed or cared.

  The sun shone down on them, a gentle breeze rustling through the vines and keeping the hilltop wedding from getting too hot.

  Katie, the baby she’d held, was now marrying the man of her dreams—and if he was still more boy than man, well, they’d grow up together. Parv teared up during the vows and was openly crying by the time Jonah’s parents’ rabbi pronounced them husband and wife.

  She trailed them down the aisle, wobbling a little on the uneven ground, looping her arm through a groomsman’s—who didn’t look old enough to shave, but had a sort of goofy adorable thing going for him that made the other bridesmaids jealous of Parv for getting to walk with him.

  Katie had confessed before the processional that she’d matched up Parvati and Aidan to keep the other bridesmaids from brawling over who got to walk with him. She’d also pulled Parv aside at the rehearsal dinner to whisper her thanks for talking her down the previous weekend. Apparently her drunk dial had consisted of sloppily declaring her love for Jonah over and over—and when she’d confessed her transgression, Jonah had been a saint. Katie’s word. He’d told her that some random guy could have the kiss from her bachelorette party. He got all the rest of the kisses for all the rest of their life.

  He was a sweetheart, really. And he loved Katie like crazy.

  There had been a couple awkward moments at the rehearsal dinner with family members asking after Parker, but she’d been glad to have Max there as a buffer—and a friend. Word had spread quickly that Parvati and Parker had broken up and several of her family members had come over to express condolences. Parv had made a conscious effort not to be annoyed when everyone assumed that the break-up had been Parker’s choice—and almost succeeded.

  Luckily, she was too busy being happy for Katie and Jonah to care.

  A soft linen handkerchief appeared in front of her face. “You look like you need this.”

  She plucked the cloth out of Max’s hand and dabbed carefully at her eyes. “I never used to be a crier. Now all it takes is one dearly beloved and I’m leaking all over the place.”

  “It was a nice ceremony.”

  “Yeah.” She smiled toward where Angie was trying to wrangle her daughter and new son-in-law toward the best views for the photographer. “I have to stick around for the pictures, but I can catch a ride over to the reception with one of the groomsmen if you want to meet me there.”

  “I’ll wait for you.”

  But he didn’t just wait. He watched. He lingered in the background, his eyes always on her. She knew it was just instinct—he was protective. He was trained to guard people. But she blushed through the photos, her smile feeling different because he was there.

  They’d only been together a week, but she felt like she’d packed more keepsake memories into that week than she had in the entire previous year.

  She’d started work at Once Upon a Bride, guiltily relieved that Sidney was working outside the office most days and they rarely saw one another. She wasn’t eager to rehash their argument. Even working both jobs, she still got home before Max almost every day. The comfortable domestic routine they’d fallen into when she moved into his house hadn’t changed much—except now when he came home and found her puttering in the kitchen he pressed a kiss to the side of her neck and distracted her until she nearly burned the ladyfingers she’d been baking.

  But it wasn’t just the sex that had her grinning giddily to herself whenever she thought about him. It was the way they could talk about anything and everything. The little stories he told her about his day. The way she finally felt like she had a partner.

  It was a dangerous feeling, she knew. She could get used to it far too easily.

  She told herself that she was living in the moment, but the rationalization didn’t hold up even in her own mind. She loved him like crazy and that feeling wasn’t going to go away—so she
might as well throw herself into it and live it to the fullest for as long as it lasted.

  And maybe, a little voice inside her whispered, it wouldn’t have to end at all.

  Max drove them to the reception venue and Parvati nobly resisted the urge to drag him into the Tesla’s comfortable back seat and have her way with him. There weren’t any handy side streets as they wound down the hill from the vineyard and she didn’t want to give her family any reason to be suspicious. The questions about Parker hadn’t bothered her—the more she talked about him, the more certain she became that she’d made the right decision—but she had a feeling things wouldn’t be so easy to explain away with Max.

  They arrived at the reception hall and found their table—as much as Parv adored Katie, she was glad the bridal party had been big enough that there hadn’t been room for all of them at the head table so she could spend the evening bumping ankles with Max under the table rather than watching the other bridesmaids vie for Groomsman Aidan’s attention.

  Angie looked happy—but then she usually was when her orders were being obeyed. Devi and her husband were seated at the same table as Parvati and Max—and she kept frowning at Max as if she couldn’t figure him out, but even Devi’s permafrown couldn’t dampen Parv’s mood as the happy couple took the floor for their first dance.

  Max tugged his chair closer behind hers on the pretense of getting a better view of the dance floor, and proffered his handkerchief when she started to sniffle sappily. “So we’re in favor of marrying off children now?” he murmured, his breath against her neck.

  She leaned back until her shoulder rested against his chest. “They found each other. It’s beautiful.”

  “It is.”

  She glanced over her shoulder at him, meeting his eyes. “And even if they’re making a mistake, there are some mistakes you have to make. Otherwise what are you living for?”

  Like Max.

  When the dancing opened up for other couples, Max scraped back his chair and extended his hand to her, palm up. Parvati placed her hand on top of his and let him tug her onto the floor and into his arms. He was a great dancer. It wasn’t a romantic thing. It was just a fact.

  Katie and Jonah twirled past, laughing, and Parvati grinned. “They make it look so easy.”

  “Dancing?”

  “Love.”

  “They aren’t carrying a lifetime of baggage and bad habits.” He spun her out, reeling her back in—and she managed not to stomp on his toes. Little victories.

  “Their lives will be so different, marrying so young. Every decision they make for the rest of their lives, they’ll make together. Where to live. What car to buy. When to take a job.”

  “Do you wish you’d done that?” Max asked as they swayed in time to the beat. “Married young?”

  “I never really came close. I was convinced that wasn’t what I wanted. But it’s both a blessing and curse, I think. One of those bad habits, I guess. Getting used to making every decision without taking someone else into account. Do you think we reach a point where we forget how to be anything but independent?” She hadn’t wanted to consider Parker’s feelings when she moved in with Max. Had that been the beginning of the end for them?

  Max tucked her a little closer. “Personally, I think an old dog can learn new tricks. Especially when it comes to love.”

  She looked up at him, his words sinking into her skin as the look in his eyes warmed her from the inside out. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? That he could learn new tricks to be with her?

  Could Max Dewitt be in love with her?

  Her heart rate accelerated until she could feel it thrumming in her throat. Her mouth suddenly dry, she wet her lips, and Max’s gaze tracked the glimpse of her tongue. Was he going to kiss her? Here? Right in the middle of the dance floor in front of her entire family?

  It was a romantic comedy declaration of love. A reality dating show moment. The kind of thing that didn’t happen to girls like Parvati. But wasn’t it exactly what she wanted? For him to throw caution to the wind and love her?

  The song ended—and the moment was gone. Parv’s stupid hope gave a protesting scream that faded into oblivion as it died. So much for Big Gestures.

  The emcee called for the dancers to clear the floor for the father-daughter dance and Max caught her hand, his grip hard. “Come on.”

  He tugged her off the floor—not moving too quickly, the picture of casual ease. She never would have known something was up if she hadn’t felt the tension in his biceps when she braced her free hand on his arm.

  He didn’t take her back to their table, weaving instead through the crowd that had formed at the edges of the dance floor until he was at the far end of the reception hall where the caterers were busy clearing away the remains of dinner. He tugged her through the nearest door and into the hallway. Parv looked back over her shoulder, but no one noticed their exit, all eyes on Kateri’s dance with her dad.

  The hallway was crowded with catering carts and waiters moving with brisk purpose—purpose no doubt inspired by their fear of Angie’s wrath. Max moved with similar purpose—and a very different inspiration—down the hall, away from the activity, scanning the doors they passed.

  “Where’s a freaking coat closet when you need one?”

  Parv smothered a laugh behind her hand.

  “Here.” They rounded a corner and Max yanked open a door, spinning her into a small room that appeared to be a janitor’s closet and pinning her to the door as it closed them inside.

  “Oooh, mops. Sexy.”

  “Shush, you. Desperate times.” Then his hands framed her face and his mouth was on hers and she forgot everything else. He broke the kiss, resting his forehead against hers with a groan. “God, I’ve been dying to do that for hours.”

  “Weddings turn you on?”

  “You turn me on.” His lips sealed hers again, stealing whatever reply she would have made. When he finally let her come up for air, he sank down to his knees in front of her. A draft touched her legs as he raised the long hem of her bridesmaid dress.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Begging for a quickie in a supply closet.” His fingers brushed the backs of her knees as he nibbled the skin he’d exposed on her upper thighs.

  Parv let her head fall back to thunk against the door as he moved higher. “I like the way you beg,” she gasped.

  “Shh. If anyone in your family comes looking for you, we’re searching for a safety pin for a wardrobe malfunction.”

  “Mm-hmm,” she mumbled, thrusting her fingers into his hair to keep him exactly where he was.

  “Focus. We need to keep our stories straight.”

  “I am focused.” Focused on his fingers, his mouth…

  “Parv?” A voice called from the hallway outside and Max froze with Parvati’s fingers still clenched in his hair.

  “No one saw us come in here,” she whispered.

  Max straightened, carefully putting Parv’s clothing back to rights as the voice came again, this time right outside the door. “Parvati? She has to be out here somewhere.”

  Devi. And reality intruded.

  “They might need me for something for the bridal party,” Parv whispered.

  “Do you want to go back out?” Max offered, his voice barely audible next to her ear.

  Did she want to? Hell no. Should she? “Yeah. I should get back.”

  Parv reached for the doorknob, but Max’s hand closed over hers before she could turn it. “Give it a second,” he murmured, and she listened, straining her ears for the sound of Devi’s footsteps retreating down the hall.

  He was warm against her back, tempting her to turn into his arms and forget about the rest of the world—but she didn’t want to miss Katie’s reception. He lifted his hand and she turned the knob, slipping out into the hallway. It was empty—Devi nowhere in sight—and Parvati let out the breath she’d been holding.

  She turned to find Max carefully closing the door behind him, his ha
ir sticking up at all angles. She giggled, reaching up to smooth it down, and he grinned, tidying her hair and adjusting her skirt.

  “You’re a terrible influence,” she told him, still smiling.

  “You’re blaming this on me? You’re the one who looked at me like that when we were dancing.”

  She stepped closer, pretending she needed to smooth his jacket. “I guess we might both deserve a share of the blame—”

  “There you are.” Devi appeared around the corner and Parv only managed not to jump away from Max guiltily because his hand tightened on her arm, stilling her reaction. “Mom’s been looking for you.”

  “Wardrobe malfunction.” Parv turned to face her sister with a calm smile, trotting out the excuse Max had given her. “I needed a safety pin.”

  Devi eyed Max and the door behind him skeptically. “Did you find one?”

  “Yep.” Parv dropped her hand from Max’s jacket and sailed down the hall past her sister. “Did we miss much? Or are they still on the dances?”

  “Just finishing up,” Devi said, falling into step beside her. “Toasts are next.”

  “Oh good.” Parv pushed through the door into the reception hall, pretending nothing had happened for all she was worth, but Devi leaned close as they made their way back to their table.

  “I hope you know what you’re doing,” she murmured under her breath—proving Parv’s act hadn’t been quite as convincing as she might have hoped.

  Parv plucked a champagne flute off a nearby tray and shoved it at Devi. “Better get ready for the toasts.”

  Devi didn’t comment, taking the champagne and returning to her seat next to her husband.

  “Everything okay?” Max asked, grabbing two flutes of champagne and handing one to Parvati.

  “Of course.” She smiled through the shiver of disquiet that tried to creep into her happiness. “Everything’s perfect.”

  Just perfect.

  Chapter Thirty

  “You look awfully happy.”

  Max looked up from his cell phone as his sister walked into their mother’s sitting room, only realizing after she spoke that he’d been grinning like an idiot. Parvati had texted him a picture of the cake she’d just finished for a bachelorette party—along with a reference to their creative use of cake from a couple night ago.