Coalescence

by J. C. Hannigan

  It also forced me to admit that she had taken up space in my head, and it was frustrating. I did my best to tamp down thoughts of her, but it wasn’t easy.

  I felt possessive over her. I’d had her, she’d been mine for a night. I knew I could have her again—knew it like I knew how to create the perfect bead weld.

  Mitch drove around and backed the truck into a parking space near the rear of the shop. The massive garage doors that essentially made up the rear wall were opened still, and I could see a couple of employees finishing up welding on a huge metal beam that nearly took up the entire length of the shop.

  We started unloading materials, and as we were doing that, Russell came out through the massive garage doors.

  “How’d it go?” he asked, coming to a pause near the tailgate of the truck. He eyed Mitch and then me, waiting for someone to fill him in.

  “Went great, we’re now on track to finish by Thursday,” Mitch answered, slamming the tailgate shut. “Especially if you keep sending Alaric out with us; the guy’s a beast. We’ll probably finish the job twice as quick with him around.” He chuckled, looking at me and giving me a solid nod of approval.

  Russell smiled. “That’s what I like to hear,” he said, clapping me on the back. “Not that I’m surprised.”

  “Thank you, sir,” I said, relieved.

  “Well, I’m going to go tell the boys to wrap it up,” Russell said decidedly, nodding once before he turned and headed back to the shop.

  I rolled my head, trying to work the kinks from my neck. I was exhausted—my muscles were still burning from the day’s exertion. Climbing the beams had been sketchy at best and terrifying at worst. But the church itself had been a thing of marvel.

  Mitch had been great to work with, and when Rob and Brandon did their job, they weren’t that bad. Tolerable, even. They all knew what they were doing, which made my job a little easier.

  Mitch paused before following, looking at the three of us still lingering by the tailgate. “Be here bright and early tomorrow, fellows. Five thirty on the dot.”

  We all nodded—message received—and watched as Mitch followed Russell into the shop.

  “See you tomorrow.” I nodded to Rob and Brandon, grabbing my helmet and lunch bag before walking across the parking lot to my truck. I climbed in, bone tired and wary. I made the drive home on autopilot, turning on my road like it was second nature.

  Gwen

  At six on Tuesday night, I knocked on my parent’s front door. The intended goal was to pacify my mother, get a free and delicious meal, and slink out—preferably before anybody could grill me about my love life, or lack thereof.

  The freshly painted dark navy door swung open. Mom’s arms wrapped around me in a big hug, and I felt a little homesick. Although she drove me nuts ninety percent of the time, she gave the best hugs. I knew she meant well and loved me.

  “Hi, Mom,” I said, my voice muffled by her shoulder. She stepped away, eyeing me keenly.

  “You look—nice,” she said, a secretive smile gracing her painted lips as she took me in. “Come on in, everyone’s just sat down to eat. You’re right on time.”

  That had been intentional, and Mom gave me a look that suggested she knew it. I smiled apologetically. “Sorry. Dahmer managed to escape, and I had to chase him around,” I said. It was partially true. He’d tried to escape, and I did have to chase him, but I caught him pretty quick.

  The rest of the time, I’d dawdled. It was kind of challenging being around Kelsey and our parents at the same time. She seemed able to handle adulthood a lot better than me, and I always felt that difference more when we were all together.

  My singleness stuck out like a sore thumb.

  Kelsey sat across the table beside Mom’s chair, with Elliott to her right beside dad. I took my place in one of the vacant chairs, trying not to look at the empty one beside it.

  I couldn’t understand why my mother wouldn’t just remove the bloody chair. It wasn’t like someone was randomly going to occupy it without me giving her a heads up, anyway, and frankly, the sight of it made me feel morose.

  That empty chair was the perfect metaphor for my life.

  In an immature act of defiance, I pulled the empty chair to the corner of the dining room before I moved my chair to the middle, ignoring Mom’s lifted eyebrows and the smile Kelsey tried to hide.

  “So, Gwen, how’s work?” Mom asked as I settled into my chair and moved my placemat over.

  She passed me the mashed potatoes, and I kept my eyes on the bowl as I scooped some onto my plate. “Work’s good.” I shrugged, passing the potatoes along in time to reach for the dish of green beans. I took some before giving that to my dad.

  “We’ve got a new welder who really knows what he’s doing,” Dad commented. I froze for a fraction of a minute before reaching into the basket in front of me for a dinner roll.

  Kelsey caught my eye, her lips curling in an enigmatic smile. My eyes narrowed at her in warning, and she lifted a brow. I knew she wasn’t about to blab my dirty secret in front of our parents, but I didn’t want her dangling it, either. Mom was just as sly as Kels was. My sister and my mother were cut from the same cloth, while I was more aloof.

  The black sheep, because my father certainly wasn’t aloof. He was commanding and intimidating at times, with a soft underbelly—for us, anyway.

  “What do you think, Gwen?” Dad added, glancing at me pragmatically before taking a bite of grilled chicken. Uncomfortable, I shifted in my seat, pushing my glasses up on my nose.

  “He seems to come highly recommended,” I said, my tone a smidgen too high. I cleared my throat, holding up my finger as I guzzled back a long sip of water. My eyes landed on Kelsey while I drank, and she mouthed ‘very’ at me with a bemused smirk. I wrinkled my nose at her, turning my attention back to Dad. “Mitch said he was impressed.”

  “Yup,” Dad nodded, a satisfied smile on his face, his eyes distant. “He was a smart hire, for sure. He used to own a shop just outside of Ottawa.”

  “Dad.” I frowned, shaking my head slightly. “Employee confidentiality,” I added pointedly. Although my heart raced with unease, I drank up this new bit of information greedily.

  I didn’t want Alaric to be a conversational topic tonight. I needed to nix it before I gave myself away. Unlike Kelsey, I was not very good at concealing my emotions.

  “Right.” He winked at me, likely pleased that I was finally displaying some kind of workplace morals. I’d taken my job a little more seriously lately because now I had a reason to look forward to going in every day.

  “Well, that’s good,” Mom said, her eyes going from me to Kelsey and to Dad again. She sensed something was up.

  Kelsey caught on too, and she cleared her throat. “So, Mom, about Sunday…”

  “Oh yes, dress shopping!” Mom smiled, her eyes brightening as she focused her attention completely on my sister. I sagged with relief, and Elliott grinned with amusement at me.

  “I’ll pick you and Gwen up around eight thirty. Janice is going to meet us in Toronto, and before lunch, we’ll hit up a few of the bridal stores I picked out.”

  “That sounds perfect.” Mom nodded, her smile growing.

  “I also figured we could drive to the venue and check it out. Gwen hasn’t seen it yet.”

  “I’d love to see it again.” Mom replied earnestly. She was completely in her element. I’m pretty sure she was more excited about the wedding than even Kelsey was. I knew she’d been waiting for this day since the first moment she held Kelsey in her arms. For me too, which is why she usually put pressure on me about my dating life. Mom wanted me paired off with someone, living a life of domestic bliss.

  Conversation faltered for a moment while we all dived into our dinner. Everything melted on my tongue, the way only a home cooked meal made by my mom could. I closed my eyes, savouring the flavours for a moment before her voice had me crashing back to reality.

  “So, Gwen. Have you decided who you’ll be bringin
g to the wedding?”

  “Renly.” I shrugged, shovelling a bite of potatoes in my mouth.

  Mom pursed her lips. “Don’t you want a date you can actually, you know, connect with?”

  “I connect just fine with Renly,” I pointed out, knowing what she was referring to, but pretending to be obtuse.

  “She means a more romantic selection,” Kelsey supplied helpfully, her eyes twinkling with mischief. Even though we were well into our twenties, Kelsey still loved to torture me.

  “Hmm, yeah…no.” I took a cue from her and pursed my lips.

  Mom opened her mouth, about to say something that would nettle me, likely, but Kelsey cut her off. “Mom, there’s going to be plenty of single guys at the wedding,” she reminded her.

  “You know, I’m perfectly content with not being set up,” I said lifting my hands up, palms out in surrender. “This isn’t the middle ages, anymore. Women don’t need to be in committed relationships in their early twenties.”

  “But don’t you want to, sweetie?” Mom asked, her voice kind and her words washing over me like a bucket of ice-cold water. “I just hate to think of you in that apartment all alone, that’s all.”

  “Right, well.” I looked up at the ceiling, letting a heavy sigh escape my lips as I shook my head slowly. “I’m not alone. I have Dahmer and friends, you know.”

  Mom’s frown lines deepened. She hated the name I’d given my cat. She felt it was in poor taste, while I thought it was ironic.

  “All I’m saying is you don’t have to keep the lease, Gwen. You should come home, save your money.”

  “I appreciate the offer, but I’m okay. I like living alone, I like my privacy, and I like my cat—which I wouldn’t be able to keep if I came home.”

  Mom sighed deeply, the corners of her eyes creased with exasperation.

  “Marlene,” Dad interjected, giving her a look that warned her to quit it. I smiled gratefully, and he nodded, his eyes twinkling before he returned to his dinner.

  Somehow, I made it to Friday without spontaneously combusting. It helped that I didn’t see Alaric for the rest of the week—he was busy installing products on site for the first part of the week, and Friday my dad had him cutting and assembling a platform in the shop.

  For the past four days, I tried to wait as long as I could, hoping I would catch a glimpse of him—or rather, have him catch a glimpse of me. I was still going all out with my appearance. I was, as Kelsey put it, peacocking.

  I wanted him to notice me. I wanted it to be hard for him to forget about the night we had, and I wanted him to crawl on his knees, pleading for a repeat.

  Which is why I was forcing Kelsey to talk to me on the phone while I discreetly dawdled, waiting for Alaric to come by for his check. “Tell me again why I’m doing this?”

  “Because you love me, and it’s your fault. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have had such incredible sex, and I wouldn’t be fixing for a repeat like some kind of sex junkie.”

  “Please stop saying that word to me,” Kelsey said dryly. “So what’s the plan if he doesn’t come for his check?”

  “He will,” I said confidently, my gaze landing on the clock on the wall. Ten to five. Two minutes later, the door to the shop swung open. “Okay, yeah. Nine o’clock at the Watering Hole. I’ll see you there.”

  Alaric’s gaze never wavered, and I knew he heard me. Dropping my phone into my purse, I smiled brightly at him. “Oh, hey!”

  “Hey,” he nodded, flipping through the stack of envelopes, his eyes returning to mine every so often. Like he was waiting.

  I knew he’d asked for a rain cheque, but I hadn’t wanted to bring it up again. It felt desperate, and I wanted to play a little hard to get—even if though I melted into a pool of wanton need whenever he looked at me.

  Grabbing my red handbag, I turned off my computer, leaning forward a little more than necessary. I was trying to play up my assets, and my ass was one of them. I stood, adjusting the hem of my round-collared sheath dress before turning. It was a fun short sleeve dress, and the black, ivory and plaid pattern complimented my curves and my complexion.

  I was totally peacocking and unashamed to admit it.

  I passed by Alaric, locking the door to the shop. I didn’t need to look over my shoulder to know that he was tracking my movements with hungry eyes. I waited for him to say something, but he remained silent. Brooding.

  Walking by him again, I met his gaze head-on. I smiled, just a little curve of my lips, and watched his pupils dilate. I lingered by the door, waiting some more, hoping he couldn’t see how fast my heart was beating.

  Alaric pocketed his cheque and strolled toward the door, his arm brushing against my elbow as he moved by me. I drew in a breath, my gaze rising to find him looking down at me, his eyes flaring with hunger. He held the door while I typed in the code and then slipped past him.

  In all that time, he hadn’t said a word, so I continued walking.

  “Have a good weekend.” I smiled, looking over my shoulder before sashaying to my car. I felt his scorching scrutiny the entire time, but I didn’t look back. The intention was to leave him wanting so that he’d show up at the bar tonight.

  I pulled from my spot and drove home, hoping like hell my plan would work. All we needed was to get away from the work setting, and then I would be able to show him that we could easily separate play from work.

  9

  Casual

  Alaric

  I watched as Gwen’s taillights disappeared, frowning after her. Shaking my head, I trekked out to my truck and climbed into the cab, trying not to think about the fantasy of driving straight to her place for another night of intense sex.

  To my disappointment, Gwen hadn’t mentioned drinks again, as she had the weekend before—at least, not to me. I knew she was still planning on going—I heard her making plans with someone else when I walked in.

  The wave of jealousy that hit just about knocked me on my feet, and when it became abundantly clear that she wasn’t going to extend the invite to me, that wave of jealousy became a tsunami.

  I told myself it was better this way, anyway. My attraction to her was a palpable thing, a dangerous, discernible thing. When she’d passed me in the empty office to lock the shop door, her perfume had consumed my senses. It took everything I had to not push her up against the door and pull her sensual dress up over her hips.

  And that was bad—real bad. I wasn’t even past the probation period, and my new boss would probably annihilate me if he caught me anywhere near his daughter.

  I’d only known Russell Williams for a short while, but he was an imposing force of nature. Unforgiving, demanding, and he expected a lot of his employees. He was a hard ass to work for, but I understood him. I related to him.

  But I wouldn’t earn any favours from him if I crossed that boundary, and I needed this job.

  Driving home, the tail end of Gwen’s conversation still kept circling around in my mind. I wondered who she was meeting at the Watering Hole. Turning onto my road, I pulled up the driveway.

  Tig shuffled over from the mudroom, his tail wagging in greeting. I stroked his big head and let him outside, standing on the back deck while he relieved himself.

  If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that Tig was still searching for Sawyer. Poor thing missed the kid as much as I did. Eventually, he’d get into the routine.

  I whistled, and he came back up the porch steps and walked over to the dog bed we had bought him over the weekend. Sawyer insisted he needed a few things to be more comfortable, so we took him to the pet store and picked out some toys and a dog bed for him. The kid had me wrapped around her little finger, and I dropped close to four hundred dollars on the dog by the time we left the pet store.

  Tig flopped down on his pillow, chewing a water buffalo horn. It had been one of the many purchases we’d made, and he loved it. The dog acted like he’d never been given a bone before, and he wasn’t the least bit aggressive about it. He was riveted b
y it, and several times over the past week, he would bring it up to me to show me, like he couldn’t believe it was his or like he wanted to share with me.

  I bent forward, rubbing behind his ear, and his tail thumped against the floor in response.

  After showering, I got dressed quickly and headed back downstairs to feed the dog and myself. I grilled up some chicken and potatoes on the barbeque, skipping the vegetables. It was safe to say, I ate like shit when Sawyer wasn’t around, but I couldn’t be bothered to put much more of an effort into it.

  I ate standing at the counter, fighting the urge I had to take a drive to the Watering Hole more and more with every minute that ticked by. Finishing my meal, I set my plate down with a heavy sigh that made the big dog lift his head and shoot a questioning stare at me.

  “This is probably a bad idea,” I murmured, glancing at the clock on the microwave. It was nine o’clock—and Gwen was probably sitting at the bar, waiting for…well, whoever had taken my place.

  Tig huffed and laid back down, offering no help to my internal moral dilemma.

  I should go to the shed and work on a project, something to distract myself from making another poor decision, but I couldn’t suppress the desire I felt for her. It grew every time I saw her.

  Each time I spent any length of time alone with her, for those brief moments, I forgot why it was such a terrible idea. I almost took what I wanted from her, knowing she’d give it to me—her want was as palpable as mine. It was a manifestation that I was struggling to hide.

  Unable to shake her flirty gaze from my head, I grabbed my keys and shoved my phone and wallet into my pockets. I was curious—curious about who she was planning on meeting, if not me.

  It was nine-thirty when I finally pulled up at the Watering Hole. I parked about a block away and walked up, pushing open the bar doors and walking in.