Attainment (temptation)

by K. M. Golland

  I’m just about to get up from my desk and march upstairs to demand she put her skills—that I pay her considerably for—to use when she continues speaking.

  “...However, seeing as I am here, and seeing how you are clearly not suffering from postnatal depression, do you want to tell me why Bryce is so concerned? Obviously you have given him reason to be.”

  Clever woman, why did I doubt her?

  “It’s my own insecurities, Jessica,” Alexis sighs. “I’ll get over them.”

  “Insecurities about what? You look great. You’re healthy, you’re—“

  “I look great? Pfft, I have a long way to go to get back to the weight I was happy with. The weight I was when I met Bryce.”

  She has a long way to go? Fucking bullshit! She looks as stunning as ever.

  “Alexis, I’m not going to stand here and tell you that these insecurities about your post-baby body are ridiculous, because they are not. Nearly every mother to have just given birth feels this way, it’s quite normal. What I will say though, is give yourself a break. You will get back to the weight you want to be, in time.”

  “I may not have time,” Alexis mumbles so softly that I can barely hear.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Nothing, it’s nothing. Look, I know I will never be a skinny supermodel and I never want to be. I was happy with my curves and being a size twelve. After all, I am 37 years of age and a mother of three. It’s just...I want to get back to that weight as soon as possible. I don’t want to risk—“

  Alexis cuts herself off.

  “You don’t want to risk what, Alexis?”

  Leaning in closer to the monitor, I strain to hear what she is so worried about.

  “I don’t want to risk losing Bryce,” she says sadly.

  What. The. Fuck? Lose me? Why would she lose me? She will NEVER lose me? With my heart hammering in my chest, confusion plagues me as to why she would feel this way. As far as I am aware, I have never given her cause to believe I would abandon her. It doesn’t make sense to me.

  “Alexis, why do you feel you could lose Bryce?” Yes, why?

  “Because it’s happened before,” she exclaims, her voice now raised and sounding desperately troubled. “After giving birth to Charlotte, I waited too long to lose my baby weight and Rick...well...he obviously didn’t find me attractive anymore and went elsewhere. He went and had an affair with a younger, slimmer, prettier woman. God, Jessica, I don’t think I’ll cope if Bryce does the same. It will kill me. I can’t let that happen. I won’t let that happen. I won’t let Chelsea take him away from me,” she shouts, desperation in her voice.

  Fuck! Fuck me! The pieces all start to fit together.

  Brayden’s little cry sounds through the monitor.

  “Oh, baby boy, Mummy is sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you,” she sobs. “God, I’m so sorry.”

  I hear another muffled sound together with Alexis sobbing in the background and it tears me apart. I want nothing more than to run to her and comfort her, to let her know I would never do what Rick did. EVER! And, I want to kick his fucking head in for making her feel this way.

  “Alexis, Bryce is not your ex-husband...” You can say that again. “...he is undeniably in love with you and I can confidently say would never betray you like that. You need to trust him, but first and foremost you need to trust in yourself.”

  “I do trust him. I just don’t trust Chelsea. She made it very clear to me after we lost Bianca that she was in love with him. I warned her back then to back off, but I know women like her, they wait like a snake in the grass. Wait for their time to strike. And she’s fucking waiting, I can tell.”

  I run my hands through my hair, completely dumbfounded by what I am hearing. Am I that oblivious to Chelsea’s feelings? Does she only have eyes for me? Shit! If that is the case, no wonder Alexis is acting the way she is.

  “Maybe you should tell Bryce how you feel,” Jessica suggests. “He has known Chelsea for a long time and is probably unaware of her true character. In fact, I can probably assure you that he is unaware of her true character.”

  Alexis sighs. “I don’t think it will matter, Jessica. Where Chelsea is concerned he is like a brick wall.”

  What? Am I?

  “Okay, well in that case we work on you by making you feel better about yourself. We need to build up your confidence, starting with a trip to the hairdresser. I think you should organise a girly pampering afternoon with your friends.”

  “That’s actually a great idea, but what about Brayden? I can’t exactly take him with me.”

  “I think his father will cope.”

  “Oh, I know that. Bryce has been an exceptional dad so far. He’s perfect. I have no qualms there. It’s just, he is so busy.”

  “I’m sure he’ll be fine. Call Lucy in if it makes you feel better. Or speak to Arthur.”

  “Noooo. I’m not going behind Bryce’s back and interfering with his business. No way in hell. That is his domain.”

  Brayden’s little cry pierces through the monitor again.

  “Is he ready for a feed?” Jessica asks. “I’ll let you get back to it then.”

  “He shouldn’t be, the little guzzle-guts. But thank you. Thank you for coming and talking to me.”

  “Anytime, Dear. And remember what I said. Bryce is not Rick.”

  “I know. I just...I get a bad feeling about Chelsea.”

  “I can see that. If talking to Bryce about it is off the cards, take matters into your own hands and build your confidence back to the level it should be.”

  “I will, Jessica. Thank you.”

  Brayden cries out again, except this time he is letting Alexis know he wants a feed.

  “Alright, hungry little piggy, I’ll get them out for you. God, you are so much like your father.”

  I laugh. Yes, he is like me, wanting to latch on to her nipples every chance he gets. Except, I want to for a completely different reason.

  “I’ll let myself out. Take care, and contact me if you need anything,” Jessica says as her voice trails off into the distance.

  “Thanks, I will,” Alexis calls out.

  Seconds later I hear what sounds like Alexis unclipping her bra, and then that unmistakeable sound of Brayden suckling. I’m totally jealous.

  “Whoa, settle petal,” she giggles. “There’s plenty of milk in there and it’s all for you, buddy. No need to try and rip Mummy’s nipple apart to get it.”

  Honestly loving to eavesdrop on their time together—but at the same time wishing I could see them both—I consider looking into a video monitor when I hear a knock on my office door. Knowing that it’s Jessica coming to say goodbye, I quickly switch off the monitor and call for her to come in.

  I play dumb as she walks toward me. “How did you go?”

  “Just fine, Bryce. She is definitely not suffering from postnatal depression.”

  I nod and smile. “That’s great. So, what is the matter?”

  “I can’t tell you, you know that. But what I can tell you is open your bloody eyes, especially where certain members of your staff are concerned. And pay her attention; tell her how much you love her. Tell her how incredible she is, and most importantly tell her how incredible she looks.”

  I continue to nod and smile, knowing that these requests are like second nature to me. Making Alexis feel good about herself is one of my favourite pastimes. “I will,” I promise.

  “Good. Call me if you need me. And by the way, Brayden is superb,” she states, smiling brightly. “If ever you need a babysitter, you know where I am.”

  “Noted,” I say as she approaches the door and lets herself out.

  Once Jessica is gone, I start to think about everything I overheard: the need for Alexis to get back to her pre-baby weight. The fear she has of losing me. The fuckwit ex-husband of hers and how he has destroyed her confidence. And, her thoughts on Chelsea’s true character.

  Swivelling my chair to face the view of Port Phillip Bay, I take
in the scenic vision that has many times before assisted in providing me clarity in determining a course of action. This time is no different from before as I decide what my next step will be. A step that involves planting a seed, and we all know how much I love gardening.

  CHAPTER TEN

  “You’re beautiful, you know,” I say as I break the silence while watching Alexis feed Brayden. “And I love you more than life itself. That will never change.” I walk into the room and sit next to them, picking up the soft guitar and nervously fiddling with it. I don’t know why I’m so nervous. I guess I just don’t want her to be angry with me anymore. I feel like a complete arsehole.

  Alexis gives me a critical look. “Did Jessica speak to you?”

  “No, not really, she just ensured me that you weren’t suffering from postnatal depression.”

  She stands up and walks over to the nappy change table. “I told you I wasn’t.”

  “I know you did. But I had to be sure.” I put down the guitar, wanting to help her, wanting to make things right. “Here...” I say, stepping up next to her. “...let me.”

  She moves aside and allows me to take her place.

  “Hello, daddy’s boy,” I coo like an idiot, something I have absolutely no control over. Even when I try desperately not to talk to my son using my daddy-baby voice, it still comes out of mouth that way. God only knows how much shit Derek and the boys are going to pile on me when they hear. “Let’s change this wet nappy and get you all clean and dry, yeah?”

  I lift the nappy to find the filthiest looking mushy substance known to man. Fuck, I can’t even begin to describe what colour it is.

  After wiping his dirty arse and sliding a clean nappy underneath—just like Alexis showed me—I hold out the folded-nappy-of-death for Alexis to dispose of.

  I then lift Brayden’s bottom to position him correctly and wipe his little fella clean. Just as I am about to secure the clean nappy, a fountain of yellow baby piss hits me square in the face.

  What. The. Fuck?

  I hear Alexis muffle her mouth with her hand, and even though my eyes are closed and painted with urine, I know she is about to burst into laughter.

  “Did our son just piss in my face?” I state calmly.

  Alexis, still trying desperately to stifle her outburst, croakily responds. “Um...yes, yes he did.”

  “Right. Do you wanna hand me a towel, or a wipe, or a fucking tissue?” I ask, still keeping my tone calm.

  “Sure.” She lets go of her bottled outburst and cracks up laughing. “I would love to.”

  Seconds later I feel her wiping Brayden’s piss from my eyes, followed by my lips and the rest of my face. And, now feeling that it is safe to unseal them, I pry one eye open at a time to find one happy little boy squirming around underneath my hand.

  “You think that’s funny, don’t you?” I ask him. “Pissing on daddy like that.”

  “You need to keep his Mr. Doodle covered with either the nappy or a towel AT ALL TIMES!” Alexis reaffirms as she leans down and kisses Brayden’s head. “Otherwise this little cheeky critter will give you a golden shower. Won’t you?”

  “Speaking of shower, that’s where I am headed now,” I declare as I walk toward the ensuite.

  “Bye, Daddy,” Alexis calls out from behind. I turn around to find her holding Brayden and waving his little hand at me. “Thanks for changing my nappy.”

  “You’re welcome, baby boy,” I reply with a laugh. “Anytime.”

  * * *

  After a quick shower, I soon discover it is almost time for my appointment with Chelsea. As I make my way down the stairs, I find Alexis sitting on the floor with Brayden lying on a bunny-rug beside her. She is holding a brightly coloured caterpillar-looking thing not too far from his face.

  “Boo!” she coos at him, after pulling it away quickly. “I can’t wait for you to smile for the first time, BB. Something tells me you will have a smile like your daddy.”

  BB? I thought we dealt with that shit.

  I quietly and purposely walk up behind them. “BB?” I question, while firing an interrogative expression her way.

  She startles a little and looks up with an uh oh-I-just-got-busted look. “Um...yes! Baby Brayden.”

  Realisation dawns on me. “That is why you wanted the initial B, isn’t it?” I ask, impressed.

  She giggles, revealing her plan. “Maybe.”

  “You never seem to amaze to me,” I say, shaking my head with a smile. “Listen, I have my appointment with Chelsea now. I want you and Brayden to come in to the office while she’s here.”

  “I really don’t want to,” Alexis murmurs without looking at me. “We are happy here.”

  The buzzer to my office sounds and we both look at the speaker. Why we do this...I’m not really sure.

  “Please, I want to show off my son...and the amazing woman who gave him to me.”

  I hear her make a ‘pfft’ noise, and her confident demeanour from seconds ago is now gone. It saddens me.

  “Sure, if it means that much to you,” she says with clear distaste as she slowly gets up from the ground.

  Walking toward my office, I’m ready to put Alexis and Jessica’s theory to the test. Surely Chelsea isn’t as bad as they say she is.

  * * *

  Heading straight for the door, I open it to find Chelsea seated in reception, brushing down her dress and fixing her hair and makeup. Instantly, I pick up on her effort to make herself presentable. Normally I would find this preparation an honourable quality, something that all employees or business associates should make habit of doing before a meeting. This time though, I see it more as an attempt to impress me on a different level.

  My newfound insight surprises me.

  “Good afternoon, Chelsea, please come in.” I stand back and hold the door open for her, remembering what my mother had always said about being a gentleman. ‘Chivalry is only dead if you, yourself, kill it.’

  Expecting her to walk in like I directed her to, I’m shocked when she instead stops and places a quick kiss on my cheek. “Hi, it’s nice to see you again. I feel we haven’t caught up in such a long time.”

  Okay, that kiss was unprofessional and certainly not called for, considering my fiancé is in the room and has just recently given birth to our son.

  Worried that because this particular experiment is proving Alexis and Jessica’s thesis correct, I quickly give Alexis a glance to check I haven’t upset her any further. I honestly did not see Chelsea as this brazen before now. Shit! Have I been that blind?

  Expecting to see Alexis resembling a cartoon character with steam billowing out of her ears and nostrils, instead, I see a withdrawn woman who is extremely uncomfortable.

  Chelsea follows my line of sight toward Alexis. “Oh, hello, Alexis, I didn’t know you would be here,” she says with a sweet but somewhat bitter tone of voice.

  “Well, I do live and work here, Chelsea...,” Alexis replies just as bitterly sweet while cradling Brayden in her arms. “...And, this is my fiancé’s office, so I’m bound to be around aren’t I?”

  “Yes, you are,” Chelsea replies curtly. She looks back at me, appearing to wait for my instruction as to where we should sit.

  Thinking that she would have acknowledged Brayden by this stage, asking how he is...heck, even asking what his name is, I’m surprised that she hasn’t. Maybe it’s because he is in Alexis’ arms, and approaching her would be awkward due to their obvious animosity toward each other.

  I decide to put that theory to the test too and take Brayden from Alexis. “Chelsea, this is Brayden, Alexis’ and my son,” I say proudly, stepping up right beside her.

  “He’s cute,” she replies, giving him a quick smile then focussing back on me. “But then again, he is your son.”

  I furrow my brow, her flirting obvious and quite frankly pathetic.

  At this point, I’m pissed off. Pissed off because one: I’ve been so fucking blind and because of that it has hurt Alexis. Two: I fucking ha
te it when I’m wrong. And three: the way she just treated my fiancé and son in front of me was nothing short of appalling.

  Moving away from Chelsea, I pass Brayden back to Alexis and kiss her with a purposeful show. When I’m done, I turn back around and ask Chelsea to sit in the seat in front of my desk. She does but not before shooting Alexis a subtle scowl.

  Sitting down opposite her, I steeple my hands in front of me and prepare myself to potentially lose an old friend. “Chelsea, I’m going to have to let you go,” I say neutrally.

  “Let me go wher—“

  “Your behaviour, especially today in this office, is unprofessional and quite frankly embarrassing. I made it exceedingly clear that we were nothing more than friends a long time ago, and honestly, I’d hoped you could work here with a proficient, friendly and skilled manner. Clearly, you can’t. And that being the case, I’m sorry to say that you’re employment with Clark Incorporated is now effectively terminated.”

  Chelsea sits stunned, mouth agape, searching my eyes for some form of reprieve or indication that what I just said was some ploy. Slowly, she turns to face Alexis. “You. This is all your doing.”

  I stand up and gesture that she do the same. “I can assure you that this has absolutely nothing to do with Alexis. I had every intention in giving you the benefit of the doubt today, truly believing that what I had sceptically suspected was just that; a doubtful suspicion. Unfortunately, Chelsea, you proved me wrong, and because of that and the way you feel, I can’t have you work here anymore. It’s not fair to Alexis and it’s not fair to you.”

  Chelsea stands up, fury and hurt in her eyes. “And how exactly do you think I feel, Bryce?”

  Seeing the hurt seep out of her is unsettling, and the last thing I want is for her to be upset, but I now realise she needs to be told bluntly and once and for all that she holds nothing more than mutual friendship with me.

  “I think it’s obvious how you feel. Can you honestly stand there and tell me that you don’t have feelings for me, Chelsea. That you haven’t since we hooked up all those years ago,” I candidly request.