The Princess and the Pea

by K. M. Shea

  “It proves they are willing, yes, but they still haven’t found the source of their information leak,” Lis muttered as they passed by a huddle of guards.

  A second glance revealed the guards were congregated around Queen Theodora and Prince Channing.

  Queen Theodora smiled and chatted with Haywood and the chamberlain while Prince Channing and one of the guards seemed to be considering the city gates.

  “Maybe so,” Vorah agreed, jerking Lis from her observations. “But our main concern in working for them was their integrity. I think we can trust them enough to stay on for three more weeks if they…” she trailed off.

  “What is it?” Lis asked.

  Vorah nonchalantly unhooked her daggers from her belt. “Tell me, does anyone by the city gates look familiar?”

  Lis swept her eyes across the courtyard—careful not to linger too long on any one spot. It took her a second pass before she saw him: a man wearing scruffy clothes standing in the shadows on the other side of the gates. “…Is that?”

  “One of the little friends of that merry chap we left out in the forest for ant-food? Yep!” Vorah winked dramatically. “I never forget a face! Particularly one as unpleasant as his.”

  “Perhaps he’s here to meet the informant,” Lis murmured, careful to keep her voice low.

  “Perhaps,” Vorah agreed. “Shouldn’t we ought to go have a little chat with him?”

  “It would be the polite thing to do,” Lis said.

  They meandered toward the gates, purposefully not looking at their target as they drew closer.

  The ruffian didn’t notice them—he seemed to be watching Prince Channing and Queen Theodora.

  Almost there. Lis kept her expression bland as she and Vorah reached the shadow of the gate. It was hard not to be gleeful given that the thief still hadn’t seen them.

  Vorah flexed her fingers and looked up at the gatehouse, and Lis adjusted her ponytail.

  “Lis, Vorah,” Prince Channing called to them. “Good day to you.”

  Lis had to bite back a curse as the bandit yanked his gaze to them. He turned pale when he saw them, turned around and started sprinting through the street.

  “Stop that man!” Vorah bellowed as she gave chase, plowing through the gateway.

  “Vorah, cart!” Instead of following the man, she deviated to the side where a horse cart adorned with the Torrens royal crest of a brown bear was picketed.

  The cart was more of a chariot, really, with a raised bench seat for a driver and a passenger, and a small stand and railing bolted to the back where a groom could stand.

  Lis untied the pair of bay colored horses hooked to the cart. The animals neighed and tossed their heads as she vaulted into the driver’s spot on the bench.

  The guards started to protest, until Prince Channing joined her. “Whom are we chasing?” He also leaped into the front seat, leaving Vorah to scramble onto the groom’s stand with a scowl.

  “A bandit that attacked us when we were enroute to Mersey. Hold on.” Lis snapped the reins, and the horses leaped into a fast, ground-eating gait.

  “This is a message-running pair,” Channing shouted over the clop of their hooves on the road. “They run hot-tempered and fast.”

  “What good luck—that’s just what we want,” Lis said as they careened down the street.

  “I see him!” Vorah shouted. She clung to the railing fastened to the back lip of the cart with one hand and pointed with the other.

  The bandit was still running and had gotten two blocks ahead of them, though with the horses, they were closing in on him fast. He started to turn a corner and risked glancing over his shoulder. He kicked his running up a notch when he caught sight of them bearing down on him. But as he wasn’t looking where he was going, he smashed into a cart that held chickens in cages, raising up a cloud of feathers and an upset cluck or two before he righted himself.

  Shedding feathers in his wake, the bandit darted up an alleyway.

  “That road is too tight to take this cart down,” Channing said.

  “Understood.” Lis drove the horses past the alleyway and turned at the next street, which was much wider.

  The horses’ tack and the cart jangled as they zoomed down the street—the noise was enough of a warning that people ran to clear their path before they reached them.

  They ran parallel to the alleyway, popping out at an intersection.

  “There he is again,” Vorah struggled to point to him, her hand bobbing with the jostling cart as she tried to point out the staggering bandit.

  “I see him.” Lis adjusted the way the diving reins were threaded through her fingers. “Messenger horses respond to gee and haw for turning right and left, yes?” she asked Channing as she studied the busy street the bandit was weaving his way up. Everything from oxen-pulled carts to lose livestock cluttered up the road.

  “Yes.” Channing gripped the arm rest of the bench seat. “Aren’t you going to slow down?”

  Lis shot him an amused look, then shouted. “Gee!” to the horses as she twitched her fingers to pull on the right reins.

  The horses snorted as they turned, the muscles in their necks and shoulders bulging as they merged onto the busy street.

  “Slow down?” Vorah complained from the groom stand. “Why? At the rate she’s driving, we’ll be lucky if we catch him.”

  Channing twisted around to stare at Vorah while Lis deftly wove the horses in and out of traffic.

  “He’s on foot,” Lis said conversationally as she narrowly missed colliding with a donkey pulling a cart filled with lumber. “It shouldn’t be a problem.”

  “Oh—he saw us. He’s turning down another back lane!” Vorah said.

  “Will we fit, Your Highness?” Lis asked. “Haw!”

  The horses jerked left, avoiding a tipped-over wheelbarrow.

  “Down that road? Yes.” Channing grimly held on. “Though crossing traffic to turn left will be difficult here.”

  “Perhaps,” Lis said absently.

  She didn’t slow, and the horses didn’t miss a stride as they charged towards the alley. Lis’ eyes flicked over the street traffic, and she snapped the reins. “Haw, haw, haw!”

  The horses sped up as they threw themselves into the turn, cutting through a narrow break between a herd of sheep and a carriage.

  They entered the alleyway with a clatter, the horses tossing their heads as the side of the cart scraped a stack of crates. At the far end of the smelly passageway was the bandit. He uttered a little yelp when he saw they had followed him.

  “Lis,” Vorah complained. “You’re being poky. He might actually get away. I can barely see him at the end of the alleyway!”

  “Fine, do you want to drive?” Lis asked.

  “Yes!” Vorah said enthusiastically.

  “What?” Channing shouted—perhaps the loudest and for certain the most incredulous sound Lis had ever heard him speak.

  “Ready?” Lis asked.

  “I’m your eager student, Master!” Vorah sang.

  Lis rolled her eyes as she slid off the bench, precariously crouching instead.

  With a grunt, Vorah kicked off the back of the cart and hefted herself over the side, landing on the bench in an ungraceful heap.

  “Are you truly switching drivers without stopping?” Channing scowled.

  “It’s faster this way. On your left.” Vorah snaked her left arm around Lis’ left shoulder and entwined her fingers in the rein.

  Lis let go with her left hand and shifted to the right. “Excuse me, Your Highness,” she said as the horses continued to stride down the alleyway—which was quickly coming to an end.

  “Right!” Vorah called.

  Lis shifted so her right hand crossed her body. She was practically sitting on Channing’s lap as she passed the rein over.

  “Take ‘em. I have to get in back to counter our weight,” Lis said.

  “Got them!” Vorah snatched up the rein and leaned left. “Go.”

  Vorah
grabbed the back of the cart and flipped herself over it. She landed on the little platform designated for the groom and smacked into the back of the cart. She had just enough time to fix her stance and swiveled her sword so instead of hanging down at her side, the scabbard fell into a latch Lis had commissioned for times like this so it hung horizontally across her lower back.

  “Haw, haw, haw!” Vorah shouted as she snapped the reins.

  The horses lurched into a canter as Vorah pulled them into a tight left turn when the alleyway opened up into a road.

  Lis held on to the railing but leaned back and to the side—taking her precariously far away from the cart. Her weight countered the horse’s momentum as they rammed through the turn, keeping the cart on the ground.

  They joined a street that was—thankfully and unfortunately—a main road. The path was nice and broad, and there were fewer people walking by foot, but the road was still cluttered with other carts, horses, and animals.

  Lis popped upright. “He’s about two blocks down.”

  Vorah tisked. “Considering he was such a poor fighter, he is an unfortunately good runner. Haw!”

  Under Vorah’s guidance, the horses bolted out from behind a slow-moving carriage, veering onto the other side of the road. They nearly crashed with an oncoming hay cart until Vorah snapped the reins. “Gee!” she shouted, and the agile horses lurched back onto their side of the road.

  Lis threw herself around to counterweight the abrupt movements, then returned to clinging to the back of the cart.

  She peered over the cart just in time to see a washerwoman carrying a bundle of clothes step into the street.

  “Watch out!” Channing shouted.

  Lis ducked down behind the cart, though that did not block out the colorful and impressive swearing oaths the washerwoman shouted at Vorah.

  “Sorry!” Vorah shouted as they thundered past.

  When Lis stood upright again, Vorah was laughing and peeling a green waistcoat and a lime green jacket off her person.

  Channing wore his usual stony expression and a petal pink woman’s gown that slapped against his body.

  “That is a very fetching color for you, Your Highness,” Lis managed to say without laughing.

  “Is it really necessary to chase after this bandit at such a fast pace?” Channing growled as he shoved the dress off.

  “’Fraid so. If Lis wasn’t such a slow driver we could have caught him by now,” Vorah said, ducking to avoid getting a flag in the face when they passed under the overhang of a home.

  Lis snorted. “I’m not a slow driver—you just have less care for your own neck.”

  “Or I’m the better driver,” Vorah said smugly.

  “Was that why you crashed our cart when we were chasing that counterfeiter in Arcainia?”

  “That was one time! And the only one who got hurt was the counterfeiter.” Vorah tisked again. “And now we’re stuck behind a slow cart. Hold on! Haw, haw, haw!” Vorah directed the horses so they blazed a trail down the center of the road, squeezing between the two lanes.

  “Both of you are mad,” Channing muttered.

  Lis laughed. “I think it’s ironic, Your Highness, that given what you have chosen to do with your free time, a little chase scares you so.”

  “Hear, hear,” Vorah snorted.

  “This road is about to intersect with a market,” Channing said.

  Lis craned her neck to see better. “I see it—he’s running in amongst the stalls.”

  “Wonderful, we’ll catch him in the market, then,” Vorah said brightly.

  “What?” Channing thundered.

  Instead of turning with the road, Vorah urged the horses into the market—a less than ideal driving area due to the narrow walkways and random pattern of stalls.

  A woman screamed at them and threw a basket of apples into the air when they charged past her stand.

  “Apologies!” Lis shouted back to her over her shoulder. “Vorah—get him now. We’re scaring everyone.”

  “Yes, Master!” Vorah risked giving her a mock salute before she adjusted her grip on the reins.

  Channing shook his head but reported, “He’s run to the left, where the cloth and clothing merchants are.”

  As he spoke, the bandit did indeed turn left, disappearing into another row of stalls.

  “That’s fine. We can snake around and get him. Haw!”

  The horses turned sharply, their manes and tails whipping in the wind. At the back of the cart, Lis had to swing so sharply to keep the cart grounded she nearly flung herself off.

  The pounding of the horses’ hooves on the cobblestone was deafening as the team bolted into the next aisle.

  Vorah leaned forward in the seat, shouting guidance to the horses as they made another right turn to avoid a man carrying jugs of water. The turn was so sharp the horses were parallel with the man before the cart hurtled over to the side as well.

  Lis swung around the back, automatically moving to aid Vorah’s driving.

  As crazy as the female warrior was, Lis did trust her driving skills with her life. She was possibly the best horseman she had met, and it was a thing of beauty to see her with the animals.

  Once again, Lis caught sight of the bandit. He was still one aisle over, and he didn’t notice as they raced past him.

  “Too far, Vorah!” Lis yelled.

  “Got it, I’ll cut him off. Jump out!” Vorah ordered.

  “Jump?” Channing’s voice was back to a shout. “And break every limb in our bodies?”

  “Well, I’ll be,” Vorah said. “You actually do have a sense of humor hidden somewhere behind your rock-face. Isn’t that good news, Lis?”

  “Jumping—take care on your corners.” Lis briskly hopped off the back of the cart. She stumbled from the momentum and had to throw herself into a forward roll to keep from face-planting. It made her sword uncomfortably prod her back, but it was better than getting a face full of stone.

  Channing landed lightly in front of her—also rolling, although with a great deal more grace.

  Probably from his days of thievery. But still, maybe I can ask him how he learned to move like that.

  “Let’s go!” Lis sprung to her feet and ran to intercept the bandit.

  As she jumped a pile of straw, she loosened the latch on her sword so it stopped twisting her belt and again hung from her hip. Still running, she unhooked her sword from her scabbard as she and Channing skid into the next lane.

  The bandit raced past them, though he braced his feet and stopped running when Vorah and the horses rammed into the far end of the lane, heading him off.

  He swiveled—intending to flee deeper into the market—but Channing managed to grab him by the shirt and yank him backwards.

  Channing flung the bandit at Lis. The bandit snarled as he tried to punch at her throat. Lis blocked with her left forearm, then—using her knuckles—swung her right fist and nailed him in the inner arm, close to the elbow joint.

  The bandit yelped in pain and staggered backwards.

  Lis followed up with chopping the side of her hand into his throat—making him choke. She finished by kneeing him in the gut and pushing on his shoulders, sending him sliding back into Channing.

  Channing easily kicked out one of the bandit’s legs from underneath him as he grabbed his wrists and forced them behind his back.

  Off balance and on one leg, the bandit staggered and fell—with Channing guiding him down. Once there, the prince pinned the bandit to the ground with a knee to his back and held the ruffian’s wrists secure.

  “Tidy work,” Lis said.

  “We should call the nearest guards,” Channing said.

  “Don’t worry. They’ll come soon!” Vorah cheerfully called. She and the horses—which she had slowed to a walk, though they still tossed their heads and flicked their black tails—clattered up the lane with more cheer than the situation warranted. “With all the fun we’ve had, I don’t think they could have missed us.”

  L
is grinned—possibly from Vorah’s observation, the adrenaline, and from having caught the bandit. “You’ll want to question him,” Lis said.

  The bandit cursed and wriggled on the ground until Channing forced his arms higher. “Why?” Channing asked.

  “He might have information on whoever is leaking stories from the palace,” Lis said.

  Channing furrowed his brow as he looked up at her. “You know about that?”

  Lis shrugged and rested her hands on her belt. “How else would a gang of bandits know about Vorah’s and my impending arrival?”

  “I wouldn’t hold my breath that he knows anything at all useful.” Vorah halted the horses and leaped lightly from the cart. She walked around front to the horses and patted their sweaty necks. “Ant-boy couldn’t even tell us his leader’s name.”

  “Ant-boy?” Channing asked.

  “We can explain when the guards have him in custody,” Lis nodded at the bandit, but paused when she heard a piercing whistle. “And I believe those are your guards.”

  Men wearing chainmail with surcoats in Torrens’ colors swarmed the market. When they saw Channing, they bowed—but they eyed Lis and Vorah with suspicion.

  “Your orders, Your Highness?” The lead guard asked.

  Channing stood, dragging the bandit up with him. “Take this man in for questioning.”

  The guards immediately spread into an organized formation. “Yes, Your Highness!”

  “I done nothing!” the bandit protested as they hauled him away.

  Prince Channing dusted off his trousers as he watched them leave. “That was…an experience.”

  “Why thank you, Your Highness.” Vorah beamed as she draped an arm over one of the horses’ backs.

  “It wasn’t a compliment,” Channing grunted.

  “We must thank you for your help, Your Highness, in capturing him. I hope he is able to provide new information,” Lis said.

  “Channing,” the prince said.

  Lis paused. “I beg your pardon?”

  He offered her a brief smile. “Please, call me Channing.”

  Chapter 7

  The following day, Lis knocked on the door of the library.

  “Come in,” Channing called.