Michael's Father

by Dallas Schulze

  Megan stared into the murky depths of her coffee cup, aware of a dull pain somewhere behind her breastbone. Funny, how much it hurt to have Gracie imply that Kel loved her and just couldn't say the words. If only that were true.

  With a sigh, she stood up and turned to take a freshly washed Michael from Gracie's strong hands. She gave the older woman what she hoped was a reassuring smile. It was too bad that Oracle's romantic fantasies were destined for disappointment. And it was too bad that her own heart was destined to be broken again.

  It had been a long time since Kel had felt so much personal turmoil. Having Michael in his life had filled an emptiness he hadn't even known was there. He loved the boy more than he'd have believed possible. From his rich, httle-boy laugh to his talent for getting into mischief, Kel was convinced there was no more perfect child in the state of Wyoming.

  His feelings for Michael's mother were considerably less straightforward. There was a lingering anger over the way she'd kept Michael from him, but the more time he spent around her, the more he found himself thinking of how she brightened his life, remembering how empty the house had seemed after she'd left three years ago. And since the kiss they'd shared two weeks ago, he'd been vividly reminded of just how empty his bed had seemed without her.

  The steady rhythm of the currybrush across Dude's flank faltered as Kel stared across the animal's back at the wall of the bam. It wasn't just the house or even his bed that had felt empty. It was his Ufe. If Michael

  filled up an empty place he'd never known he had, then Megan filled one that had been there as long as he could remember.

  She made him want to believe in things he'd long ago decided weren't in the cards for him. Things like love. And marriage. Things like happily ever after. Things that were likely to leave him with an aching hole in his gut when she left. And what did that say about what he felt for her?

  Kel shied away from the question, more than a little afraid he wouldn't like the answer. He reached up to scratch Dude behind the ear. **You don't know how easy you've got it, buddy." Dude snorted, as if to say that Kel wasn't telling him anything he didn't already know.

  Kel put away the currycomb and let himself out of the stall. It was almost dinnertime so he went up to the house to shower before the meal. He'd just pushed open his bedroom door when he heard the sound of Michael's laughter coming from the room across the hall. An instant later, he heard Megan laugh, a happy, young sound he'd heard all too little of lately. As if that laughter was a magnet, he turned toward it, his mouth curving.

  Megan's door was partially open. She didn't notice when he pushed it a few more inches and stepped into the doorway. She and Michael were wrestling on the bed. As near as he could tell from the tangle of arms and legs, Megan was trying to put a pair of pants on her son and he was trying equally hard to avoid that fate. From the giggles and laughter, it was obvious that neither of them was taking the battle seriously.

  Kel leaned his shoulder against the door jamb and enjoyed the scene before him. This was how it should be, he thought. The only thing he would have changed was to add himself to the picture. But Megan had been so skittish around him since that kiss that he knew his presence would only spoil the moment. He started to step back and leave them to their play, but Michael's bright eyes had found him.

  **Daddy!'* His shrill cry held nothing but welcome, and Kel felt the familiar melting sensation in his chest. Megan threw him a startled look and quickly sat up, releasing Michael, who promptly scrambled off the bed and ran to his father.

  **Hi, sport." Kel caught him under the arms and swung the boy up over his head, grinning at the delighted shriek this evoked. "Looks like you just about had your mother buffaloed."

  Michael didn't know what buffaloed meant but he proceeded to explain in detail his strategy for winning the Battle of the Pants. At least that's what Kel assumed he was discussing. Michael's thoughts were inclined to run ahead of his available vocabulary, which made conversations with him largely a game of fill in the blanks.

  Watching the two of them together, Megan had to bhnk back tears. Kel listened carefully to what Michael was saying. With their heads together, the resemblance between the two of them was striking. No one could ever mistake them for anything other than father and son.

  "How about you get dressed for supper, now?" Kel said, after expressing appropriate admiration for his son's efforts to avoid his fate. Michael looked dubi-

  ous about this idea as Kel carried him over to where Megan still sat on the bed.

  **You think between the two of us, we can get a pair of pants on this one?" he asked.

  ''I don't know. He may be tougher than both of us."

  Kel dangled Michael in midair while Megan threaded the pants on his legs. Since Michael decided that kicking his legs made the game much more interesting, this wasn't as easy as it might have been. But civilization triumphed and the small pants were finally in place.

  "Stubborn little cuss, isn't he," Kiel said. He bent to rub his nose against Michael's neck, eliciting peals of laughter.

  ''Takes after his father," Megan said, smiling as she stood up.

  **Me?" He widened his eyes in shock. "Not a stub-bom bone in my body," he protested.

  "Of course not." Megan's look was patently disbelieving. "Give me the imp and I'll see if I can get a comb near that head of his."

  "I guess I'd better go get cleaned up. If I show up like this. Grade will cut off my end of the table."

  He started to hand Michael over to her, but during the transfer, Michael shifted abruptly, flinging his arms around his mother's neck, and the back of Kel's hand ended up pressed firmly against Megan's breast. Megan froze, her eyes flying to his face.

  In an instant, all the tension was back between them. All the unspoken wants, the unfulfilled needs suddenly crackled in the air like lightning. Megan felt her nipple tighten and knew that Kel couldn't possi-

  bly miss the small betrayal. She saw the hunger in his eyes and knew that, if it hadn't been for Michael's presence, they'd already be on the bed.

  Kel's hand moved, sliding from between her body and Michael's with agonizing slowness. They stared at each other, and Megan wondered if he could hear the rapid beat of her pulse, if he could sense that her body was more than ready to receive his. For an instant, she wished her son was anywhere but where he was. If only she and Kel were alone, this aching hunger could be assuaged.

  "Down." Michael's demand was punctuated by an impatient wiggle and the moment was broken.

  "I'll see you at dinner," Kel said, his voice a little rougher than usual.

  "Yes." Megan bent to set Michael on the floor and didn't lift her head until she heard the door shut behind Kel. She took a deep, shuddering breath and pressed her hands to her flushed cheeks, carefully avoiding her reflection in the mirror over the dresser. She didn't want to see the stars in her eyes or the fear that lay behind them.

  Megan poured milk into a small saucepan and set it on the stove to heat. Around her, the house was quiet, asleep, just as she should have been, she reminded herself. It was one o'clock in the morning and she should have been sound asleep instead of tiptoeing around the kitchen making cocoa. But three hours of tossing and turning had gained her nothing but a tangled bed and the threat of a headache.

  She got out a mug and spooned cocoa and sugar into it, stirring the two together. The weather repoTt

  had made no m^ition of a storm in the offing, but the way her skin tingled suggested otherwise. Of course, her storm had a name.

  Kel Bryan.

  Megan rubbed her hands over her upper arms, h^ eyes focusing on nothing in particular. She could still feel the pressure of his hand against her breast as if the imprint of it had been burned into her skin. All through dinner, she'd been acutely aware of him, of his every move.

  Her stomach tight with tension, she'd barely touched her meal and had to fend off Grade's concerned inquiries and comments about how she needed more meat on her bones. She'd seen Kel's gaze
wander over h^ as if to check the accuracy of Grade's wbrds, and when he'd lifted his gaze to her face, the look in his eyes had expressed nothing but approval. The bones that so worried Gracie had nearly melted.

  "Up kind of late, aren't you?"

  At the sound of Kel's quiet voice, Megan shivered and closed her eyes. She wasn't surprised that he was here, she realized. It was as if she'd been expecting him all along.

  **I couldn't sleep," she said, turning to face him. Not a good idea, she dedded immediately.

  She hadn't bothered to turn on any lights except one over the counter. In the shadowy light, he looked very large and very male. He must have gotten out of bed. He'd tugged on a pair of jeans, which he'd zipped but hadn't bothered to snap. His chest was bare, and Megan felt her mouth go dry as her ^es clung to the broad-muscled width of his shoulders.

  "I couldn't sleep, either," he said. He came farther into the kitchen, pausing by the stove to turn the burner off under her milk.

  *'I was going to make cocoa," she said, hardly aware of her words. **I thought it might help me sleep."

  **I know a better cure for insomnia." His voice was low and deep and Megan felt a throbbing begin in the pit of her stomach.

  *'Youdo?"

  *'A sure cure." He stopped in front of her, so close that she could feel the heat radiating off his body. She could see the glitter of his eyes. She swallowed hard.

  "Maybe you should patent it," she whispered.

  •'Maybe I should."

  Without ceremony, he brought his hands up and closed his fingers over her breasts. Megan arched her back, thrusting herself more firmly into his hold. This was what she'd been wanting ever since she'd come back to the ranch. The single kiss they'd shared had only added fuel to the fire.

  "I heard you get up and followed you downstairs," Kel said. His thumbs brushed over her nipples, fiery hot through the thin cotton of her nightgown. She shuddered, her knees trembhng. **I can't sle^ for thinking about you, Megan. I lay in bed and think about having you naked beneath me, about being inside you, feeling your sweet, slick muscles holding me."

  "Please." She hardly knew what she was asking for. For him to stop torturing her with words and kiss her? For him to rip her nightgown out of the way so she could feel his hands on her skin? Or for him to skip everything else and simply take her where they stood?

  He reached out and caught her hand, bringing it to the front of his jeans so that she could feel the swollen length of him straining against the denim.

  * "That's what thinking about you does to me," he whispered, rocking his hips against her hand.

  Whimpering, Megan fumbled for the tab of his zipper, wanting to feel the silken heat of him in her hand. She didn't care where they were or who might walk in on them. All she cared about was putting an end to the sweet torture.

  But Kel was not quite so lost to their surroundings. He had no intention of having their lovemaking interrupted by Gracie>coming out to see what the commotion was in her kitchen. He caught Megan's hand and dragged it away from him. If she kept touching him like that, he wasn't going to give a damn if the whole ranch walked in on them.

  **Shh." He smothered her frustrated whimper with his mouth and bent to scoop her up into his arms.

  By the time he'd carried her upstairs and into the privacy of his room, they were both nearly frantic with need. He wanted to take it slow, make it last forever, but the hunger was too powerful. Kel barely managed to get her nightgown and his jeans off and then they were tumbling on the bed, Megan's legs opening to him.

  With a groan, Kel sheathed himself in her. Her hips arched, her heels digging into the sheets as she struggled to take him as deeply as possible. He thrust once, twice and the explosion hit with the force of a freight train, rocking them both, startling a muffled scream from her as her body convulsed beneath him, around him.

  Resting his forehead on the pillow, Kel sucked in a ragged breath, his big body trembling with the force of his climax. It wasn't enough, he thought, almost despairingly. He was still hard and aching, still wanting her. He rocked his hips against her, hearing her whimper in response, feeling her fingers dig into his back as she arched against him. This time, he was going to make it last.

  There was no storm outside like there had been the first time they'd come together, but the storm inside was as fierce as anything Mother Nature could have conjured. It went on and on, with Kel controlling the moment, controUing her body as well as his own. He took her to the edge again and again, only to pull her back, petting and soothing her until she stopped trembling only to start the climb again.

  In the end, Megan all but fought him for control of their lovemaking, and Kel let her take it, let her push him onto his back and lower herself onto his aching arousal. All the foreplay made their lovemaking hard and fast. Kel's hands were bruising on her hips. Megan's fingernails left marks on his shoulders. And the final shuddering moment left them both drained and exhausted.

  Megan collapsed onto his chest, her breath shuddering in and out of her. Neither of them spoke. Words would have been an intrusion. Kel ran his hand up and down her narrow back, savoring the feel of her lying along his body. Her breathing gradually slowed, and he felt her relax against him and knew she slept.

  He remembered his words about having a cure for insomnia, and his mouth curved in a smile. Looks like I was right, he thought, closing his eyes and letting himself drift to sleep.

  Chapter 14

  1 hey woke in the quiet hour just before dawn, and without exchanging a word made love again. This time it was slow and sweet, as powerful in its own way as their almost violent coming together the night before.

  Afterward, holding Megan, Kel felt a peace like he'd never known before. For the first time in a long time, he was starting to believe that everything was going to work out. Maybe happily ever after wasn't quite the impossibility he'd thought.

  She loved him. He was almost sure of it. She'd given herself too completely for it to be anything else. A woman who kept her virginity until she was twenty-five didn't give herself as utterly as Megan had just done unless her heart was involved.

  "Marry me." He hadn't planned on saying the words. But once they were out, he didn't think he'd

  ever said anything that felt more right. "Many me, Megan."

  She stiffened against him but didn't say anything. Kel was so caught up in his own feeUng of rightness that he hardly noticed her silence.

  "We should have done it weeks ago. Hell, we should have done it three years ago, and would have, if Fd known you were pregnant." Somewhere along the way, he'd let go of his anger over that. It didn't matter anymore. What was past was past. What mattered was the future.

  "We should be a family, you and me and Michael."

  "We are a family," she said at last. She eased away from him and sat up. "You don't have to marry me for that."

  "Yes, I do." He looked at her, but all he could see was her back and the pale fall of her hair. Couldn't she feel how right this was? "Michael's my son, Megan. You're his mother. I want to take care of both of you."

  "You can take care of Michael without marrying me," she said.

  "But I want to marry you. Hell, Megan, most women would think I ought to marry them," he said with a half laugh.

  "I'm not most women." She stood up and went to where her nightgown lay half beneath his jeans on the floor.

  Kel watched her untangle the two garments, feeling uneasiness push aside his earlier contentment. This wasn't exactly the reaction he'd anticipated. He hadn't necessarily expected her to shout an immediate yes. Women always seemed to want to discuss things be-

  foie coming up with an answer, and she'd want to be sure it was the right thing for Michael. But he certainly hadn't expected this oddly flat reaction.

  He stood up as she tugged her nightgown on over her head. Unconcerned with his nudity, he went to her, catching her hands in his and tugging her around to face him. She kept her eyes firmly on his chest.

  **Ar
e you going to leave without giving me an answer?" he asked hghtly, hoping it was his imagination that something was wrong here.

  "I can't."

  "Can't marry me or can't give me an answer?"

  Can*t marry you, Megan thought but she couldn't get the words out. Couldn't bring herself to turn away from that dream.

  "I can't give you an answer," she whispered. "I...I need some time, Kel." She lifted her eyes to his face and forced a half smile. "It's a big decision and I have to consider what's best for Michael, for all of us."

  "This is what's best for all of us," he said quickly.

  "I need time," she repeated. Time to pull together the strength to say no.

  "All right." Reluctantly, he let his hands drop from hers. "Take the time you need."

  "Thank you." She glanced over his shoulder. The sun had crept over the horizon, flooding the room with light and she hoped he'd attribute the brightness of her eyes to its brilliance. "I have to go. Michael will be up soon."

  She turned to go but Kel's hands caught her up against him. Her head fell back, her mouth softening under the impact of his kiss. He released her as suddenly as he'd grabbed her.

  "Just thought Fd give you something to remember," he said, smiling at her.

  She lifted trembling fingers to her mouth. "I won't forget."

  And then she was gone, pulling the door quietly closed behind her. Kel frowned after her. Something didn't feel quite right. He wanted to go after her and drag her into his arms and kiss her until she admitted she loved him and agreed to marry him. He shook his head, forcing himself to turn away from the door. He'd said he'd give her time and he would. He just hoped she didn't make him wait too long.

  Kel swung out of the saddle and looped Dude's reins around the top rail of the corral fence. It was the middle of the afternoon, and he should have been repairing fence on the south pasture. He had been doing just that since leaving the house this morning.