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Christmas Miracles: Mega Mail Order Bride 20-Book Box Set: Multi-Author Box Set

Page 39

by Jenny Creek Tanner


  Maybe it was time to tell Lily why his fears and concerns about marriage still loomed over him. Maybe if he spoke her name, her ghost would disappear from his memory. Yet it seemed too soon. He wasn’t ready to share the story yet.

  The dusk began to settle in as their guests headed on after a pleasant day of visiting and lunching together. They had talked about the sermon, shared common stories of farm life, and Lily had shared her take on life in Dakota compared to the city.

  Lily was composed, polite, and welcoming. He was pleased with how the gathering in their home had gone. He was proud of his wife.

  So why did Penelope still occupy his thoughts? He wanted to be rid of her poison, but letting go was harder than he’d imagined.

  Chapter 10

  Life went on and work, church, and friends kept the new couple occupied, while Lily still tried to figure out how their marriage was going to work. Summer was gone, and autumn had arrived in full swing. There were pressing issues to deal with.

  Max’s fields were all cleared and the crops collected. They took their harvest to the markets and made a profit that Max was happy with. Then there was the canning and taking inventory of all they had to survive the coming months when the weather grew cold.

  “Winters here are brutal,” he told her. “Not like in Pennsylvania. When the wind rolls from the western mountain range, we have trouble.”

  “You make it sound like I haven’t endured my fair share of winters,” Lily cried, protesting how he treated her like a child sometimes.

  They gathered wool blankets from storage and set them inside the house for when the first big storm of the season would finally hit.

  “Not like a Dakota storm, you haven’t. The house will be buried in snow before it’s over.”

  Lily tried to imagine snow drifts a story high cascading over the porch and burying the front door. She shook her head and continued helping Max make all the preparations.

  “Tonight or tomorrow the first one will hit,” he guessed.

  “How can you be so sure?”

  “Almanac predicts so. Although, last winter was a fluke. Thomas vows it had something to do with him and Sarah,” he winked.

  “I hope Sarah is all right. She’s due any day,” Lily replied, looking for Max’s response to childbearing, to see if he had any sympathy at all for what he someday wanted her to endure.

  “Sarah’s strong. Thomas will know what to do. Heck, get Donovan over there. He’s had three tykes himself.”

  “Maybe I should head over there,” Lily replied. “It may be my last chance to see her for a while.”

  He looked at the sky. It was hazy and darkening.

  “I’d prefer you didn’t. Just to be safe.”

  Was Max really concerned for her wellbeing? She smiled to herself, happy at the prospect, but it was possible that he just didn’t want to have to get out and help her in a snowstorm if she got stuck.

  “Tell you what. Let’s finish all our work here, and we’ll go together.”

  Lily squealed excitedly, and it made him laugh. She unexpectedly wrapped her arms around him, then immediately backed away, embarrassed.

  “Sorry. I just got a little excited.”

  Max hadn’t minded. Now, he realized Penelope’s ghost could fully disappear, if he let it. Lily’s warm cheeks next to his, and her body up against him made him forget all about his broken heart years ago. He only wished the moment had lasted longer.

  Lily and Max continued with their chores. They gathered shovels, coats, firewood. Max gave Lily directions on what to do if he wasn’t there when the storm broke.

  The barn and livestock were settled in cozy, and Lily breathed in the cold air, her breath fluttering away in the distance.

  Max watched her perfect figure, wrapped in a bulky coat, playing with her breath in the wind. She had never felt a colder autumn in her life, but the territory proved to be far more challenging with a different climate. Her eyebrows furrowed.

  “What is it?” he asked, pulling on his gloves to keep warm.

  “Timothy. I haven’t heard from him for months. It seems strange, doesn’t it, that he hasn’t written.”

  “I don’t know. How close were you two?” He watched her carefully, to see if she too held onto any ghosts like he did.

  “Somewhat. Our time traveling brought us closer. I knew him from a distance back in Philadelphia. He courted a girl I was friends with.” She realized that this might give her secret away. Lily Pickens was supposed to be a well-bred girl. She wouldn’t have poor friends for company. “Her father disapproved, though. He wasn’t rich enough,” she added, hoping this would cover her mistake.

  “Can I ask you something?” he said.

  “Yes.”

  “There wasn’t anything between you and him, was there?”

  Lily looked stunned. She laughed quickly.

  “No, but since we’re talking about old flames, you haven’t been completely honest with me, have you?”

  He tugged on his collar and turned his eyes away from her.

  “Faye told me about your near marriage,” Lily admitted.

  “It’s in the past,” he replied gruffly.

  “Really?” She looked at him with her swift eyes and discernment. “I don’t believe you.”

  He looked at her, but didn’t respond.

  She smiled but pondered his reaction. Max had kept her at arm’s length since their marriage. Was this woman the reason why? She didn’t have time to contemplate it too much longer, as she desperately wanted to see Sarah before the afternoon got away from them.

  No snow had fallen yet. She couldn’t believe such thick storms would come their way in late October. The air had grown too cold, too fast these last few days. They packed the buck wagon with blankets and provisions, just in case.

  The wheels clattered as they headed to the Jacobs’s place. A sense of anxiety reached Lily’s heart, thinking about her dear friend. When they arrived, she hopped out of the wagon and headed to the porch. The windows were alight and a myriad of commotion could be heard from outside. Lily waited for Max to catch up with her.

  Thomas opened the door, looking haggard, but he greeted them happily.

  “Why, the Blackwells! It’s good of you to stop by.”

  “We hope we’re not inconveniencing you,” Lily said. “Just wanted to see how Sarah is.”

  “Come in and celebrate with us. Sarah delivered yesterday morning.”

  Lily smiled, elated, and Max patted Thomas on the back.

  “Great news,” Max replied.

  “Mother and baby are doing fine. Sarah’s still resting, but she’ll want to see you.”

  “Oh, please, don’t bother her. I’m delighted to hear the good news,” Lily said.

  “We’ve had guests and neighbors popping in trying to beat the storm. She’ll be cross if I don’t let her know you’re here.”

  Max and Lily sat in the parlor, smelling casseroles and delicious treats in the kitchen, brought by Corrine and Donovan and other townsfolk.

  They smiled awkwardly at one another, waiting for a tired Sarah who finally showed herself. Lily got up to greet and wrap her arms around her friend.

  “Congratulations. I’m so happy for you both.”

  Sarah was holding a tiny bundle, wrapped in blankets.

  “We named her Colleen,” Sarah said.

  “She’s perfect. Max, look at her! Isn’t she perfect?” Lily whispered reverently.

  Max glanced at the sleeping newborn with a smile.

  She was precious and tiny, and Lily pictured what their children would look like. Would they have her golden hair or his dark complexion?

  “The Lord has blessed us, indeed. I’m so tired, but so happy.”

  “Yes, as I hope He blesses you two one day,” Thomas said, making Lily blush.

  Max has to kiss me first, Lily thought to herself as she rocked Colleen in her arms.

  Chapter 11

  Lily kissed Sarah’s precious child one last
time before she and Max stepped into the chilly air again to head home.

  “That baby smelled so heavenly, I wanted to just eat her up,” she said, entranced by all the love and happiness they had just witnessed.

  “They are very blessed.”

  “Does the thought of childbearing scare you? Women die in childbirth.” Lily felt suddenly overwhelmed by it all. She loved Sarah and knew Thomas loved her. What if something had gone wrong? Would Thomas ever recover from losing her? she wondered. She realized that was quite different than her own situation should she and Max have children.

  “Of course,” he said. “It’s not an easy time for the mother. I’m glad Sarah and the baby are doing fine.”

  Lily desperately wanted to ask how he would feel if something happened to her, but she couldn’t. She didn’t dare, in case she was disappointed with his answer.

  She tried to do as Sarah and Corrine told her. Find a purpose each day. She and Max still hadn’t kissed, held hands, or even embraced in the time they’d been married. She was completely sure she wanted love. She wanted romance. She hadn’t fallen in love with him yet, but she knew she could. Her mind was open to it and it seemed obvious that his wasn’t.

  She sulked on the way home. Resting her hands on her lap, she swayed with the rhythm of the wagon and kept quiet. Max didn’t like it when she rattled away and she was too melancholy to do so now. Everything Sarah had, she wanted. She didn’t realize it took Sarah and Thomas a long time to get to where they were.

  The house was warm from the fire they left going. Blankets were scattered in the kitchen, and Lily went to fold them, while Max attended to the outbuildings and equipment. She looked out the window and finally saw it.

  “Snow,” she called out loud, even though she was alone. She went outside and watched it fall all around her. Dancing around in the big flakes, she laughed loudly. Her world had grown magical.

  Max walked up to her and took her in his arms. Lily was almost startled at the unexpected move. She froze, staring into his eyes.

  This was the moment she had been waiting for so long. Could she believe that a man who rejected love could change his mind? Yes, she could believe it. She’d hoped for it.

  They held each other’s gaze, but neither of them spoke. Instead, she felt the heat from his body embrace and overpower her. Their faces touched and she wrapped her arms around his neck, putting one hand through his hair slowly.

  His arms held her tight and she felt secure. She didn’t have her coat on, but he kept her warm, swaying with her in the snow. She loved feeling him close to her.

  “Max,” she whispered, pulling him closer. She knew then that she had fallen for him as soon as they were married. “I was wondering when this was going to happen. If it ever would.”

  “I didn’t know you wanted it to,” Max replied, sincere.

  “I knew what you said you wanted—what you didn’t want. I hoped I could change your mind. Especially after I met you in person.”

  He kissed her tenderly. She thought her heart was going to stop beating.

  “I admit I’ve been bullheaded. You said I was cold. You’re right. This is scary for me.” He pulled her in again and kissed her again.

  She stopped him and pulled her head back to look up at him.

  “I don’t mean to be so abrupt, especially at a wonderful moment like this. I have to be honest with you about something, though.”

  “Can’t it wait?” He smiled down at her as his hands brushed up and down her arms.

  “Not really. I wish I didn’t have to make this confession at all.”

  She stepped out of his embrace and went into the house. He followed her and she heard his question as she stepped into the warmth of the kitchen.

  “What is it?”

  His eyebrows were raised, but his voice was calm. She took a deep breath and continued.

  “I’m not really a teacher. I never was. I was a student at the college, and it was my dream to one day teach, but I couldn’t attend anymore because my father grew ill. We were poor, and I attached myself to you because I had to—”

  “Is that it?” he said, his eyes begging her come back to his arms.

  “Yes, I’m not a well-to-do lady of society like I led you to believe. Timothy taught me how to talk and act on our journey here.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” he said sincerely, staring at her natural beauty. “Now come here and kiss me again.”

  “But I lied to you. How can you accept that and just move on? How will you trust me?”

  “Yes, you did lie, but we all have our secrets. I understand why you did it.”

  “You’re not even taking time to think about it all. Why?”

  “Because I don’t have to. You’re a special woman and I want you in my life.”

  She looked down, feeling embarrassed and unworthy of his trust. “You said we all have secrets. What’s yours?”

  My secret is… Well, I don’t want to hurt you, Lily. Ever. I’m afraid just being myself will.”

  “I think I’m in love with you,” Lily replied, crashing into his arms, and enveloping herself in his strong arms again.

  Chapter 12

  The snow had settled on the farm and property, transforming it into an arctic fairyland. The storm left high snowdrifts around and icicles hanging from the house. Lily looked out the window and couldn’t quite believe what she saw. Then she remembered last night. How they’d shared their feelings and how hopeful she felt about the future.

  The snow and magic outside reminded her of Christmas. The season would be here soon and she was thinking about what sort of gift she might give her husband. This year would be a good Christmas! Probably the best she’d ever had. She could hardly wait!

  She prepared breakfast, feeling lost in a dream. Last night was so magical, she couldn’t think of much else. Max seemed different this morning, as his mind became preoccupied with the storm.

  She stayed pleasant and they kissed at the breakfast table, although he seemed a little shy.

  She was relieved that he didn’t care her past didn’t measure up to what she had initially told him. She loved him even more for being so kind and understanding. While Max was hard to read at times, she thought maybe she had penetrated his thick wall somewhat. She would be patient and not push him to show affection more.

  The snow didn’t melt away for two weeks and even then, it wasn’t completely gone. Max told her that they probably wouldn’t see the ground until spring. The sun refused to shine and Lily felt the winter depression hit. Not being able to go to town or have guests over made her feel alone in the house when Max was busy outside.

  He kissed her in the mornings and at night. That was the only tiny reminder of their steps forward. What had happened? He had been sweet and loving, and now he barely looked at her or touched her. Was it wrong for her to want his affection? Was she a fool to have expected their relationship to continue to grow?

  “Max,” she asked one night after supper. She wanted to understand what was going on, but he seemed distant, like before.

  He looked up from his paper.

  “Did I do something wrong? You seem… different. Distant again. And I’m a little afraid.”

  He sighed. He folded the paper and looked at her. “What we shared was nice. But I meant what I said at the beginning. I’m not looking to fall in love.”

  “But—I thought—”

  “You’re beautiful, Lily.”

  He steepled his fingers together, staring at her across the table. “But I’ve realized that this is all I’m capable of. I think we should stick to our original agreement.”

  The tears blinded Lily and she couldn’t stay in the room with him. She ran upstairs and cried into her pillow. She had given her heart to him. She’d told him she loved him! She’d never said those words to a man before and now he’d trampled on them without a care.

  She wished she could forget his kisses. He didn’t want her. No matter how hard she tried, he didn’t want he
r as the kind of wife she longed to be for him.

  Rejected and humiliated, she wished she had just kept her mouth shut that night and held back her real feelings. She wished she’d never kissed him.

  He could have thrown her out for her deception, but he didn’t. Deep down, she believed Max was capable of letting her in. She wouldn’t give up so easily. Maybe one day he would look at her to be more than a housekeeper and a broodmare.

  She suddenly remembered Faye’s story. There was no passion or love between them at first. It grew slowly. Faye had to bide her time. Men are mysterious creatures, and sometimes you have to give them the benefit of the doubt. You don’t always know what’s rolling around in their mind, Faye’s words reminded her.

  Then she remembered she had agreed to this. Max wasn’t out of line to want to keep the agreement they’d made. She didn’t understand why he’d kissed her, but maybe she never would.

  She dried her tears. While still hurt and saddened, Lily faced the music and went downstairs to face her husband.

  “I shouldn’t have acted like such a silly school girl. We had an arrangement, and I intend to keep it as is. I will fulfill my end of our agreement and be there to support, comfort, and share a life with you.”

  “Lily, I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “You haven’t,” she lied. “I was caught up in Sarah and Corrine’s stories, even Faye’s. You have been honest with me from the beginning. I shouldn’t have expected to come in here and change anything.”

  “I do care for you. You know that, right? I just can’t be the way Thomas or Donovan are. I—”

  She held up her hand to stop him.

  “Don’t. This is our arrangement. I think it's best we stop talking about it. I’ll go fix some lunch. How does bread and ham sound?” She walked away before he could answer.

 

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