“What’s going on Rick?” I heard Marcy ask quite loudly, which made me stop kissing Jax and look for her.
“Nothing, Angel, there are certain people who are given back stage passes and they wanted to meet us.”
“You mean all these skanks just want in your pants?”
“No, Marcy, come on you knew there would be lots of people here.”
“Yeah, I knew. But I’m NOT ok with them all touching you.”
“Me neither, Angel. I just want your hands on me… Especially now. Seeing you get all possessive of me.” He then winked at her and it looked like she had melted a little bit.
“Rick, Marce, let’s go out and enjoy the rest of the show.” Jax told them as he grabbed my hand and we started heading for the door.
“Hey, where have you all been?” Kate asked as we all arrived back to the show.
“Oh, we just had to go pull some skanks off these guys.” Marcy told them, she looked over her shoulder at Rick and he was laughing. “It’s not funny, I don’t want them all over MY man!”
“Come dance with me, Angel?” She nodded and he led her over to a little area where people were dancing.
“I’m gonna grab a drink, anyone want one?” Jax asked.
“Vodka and coke, please.” I asked.
“No, we are fine thanks, where are Will and Frank?” Danni asked.
“Back stage probably getting it on with some groupies.” Jax said as he walked away to the bar.
“You ok?” Kate asked me.
“Yeah… just… I’m not used to the whole groupie thing. It’s gonna take some time getting my head around it.” They both nodded their heads in agreement with me. I looked over towards the bar and saw Jax was talking to a girl, I couldn’t help the jealousy that I felt inside. I did trust Jax, he had never been unfaithful to Cindy and he was used to this whole scene, being nice to his fans, I guessed. Rick had told me about the summer tour, but Jax hadn’t mentioned it to me yet. I didn’t know what was going to happen to us once he left, and I wasn’t sure I could cope with this lifestyle. It was a lot to take in, but was he worth it? Yes, he definitely was.
Chapter 37
Cindy
I walked into The Archer to find Jax; he couldn’t be dating that nerdy girl behind the bar, he was mine, I needed him. As I walked in, I saw him stood at the bar with her, they were all touchy feely and little kisses here and there, it made me feel angry. She was going to pay for this, pay for taking my man away. If she wasn’t around, he would have forgiven me about the affairs and we would be on the way to marriage and that meant his money for me. That’s what I wanted, what I needed. It was getting near the end of the night and I saw Jax sitting at a table with the other guys, so I went up to him and said; “Jax, I need to talk to you.”
“I’m not interested, Cindy.” He said and went back to talking to Rick.
“Please, Jax, just five minutes.” I said as sweetly as possible.
“Fine, five minutes. That’s all because I’m sure I’ve heard it all before.” He said to me. I pulled him away from the other guys and made sure that we were in line with the bar so that little bar bitch could see us.
“Get on with it, Cindy.” He said to me, sounding really uninterested.
“Jax, baby, we’re so good together. Come on, you don’t want a nerdy girl like that when you can have a woman like me.”
“What? I can’t believe your saying this. It’s over.”
“No, come on, you remember what it was like, the passion, just let me remind you.” I said, trying to convince him to take me back.
“No, Cindy, you were the one that screwed all this up, you were the one that slept with Will and Frank and God knows who else.”
He shook his head at me and went to walk away. I grabbed his arm and pulled him back and went to kiss him but he jumped out of the way quickly and said to me;
“It is all your fault we’re not together and I should thank you, because of you, I met that gorgeous girl over there.” He pointed towards the bar. I was angry, and needed to hurt him, and her. He would not get away with being happy while I was miserable, I needed him and that band, and now Will and Frank wouldn’t have anything to do with me either.
“Yeah, well, let me tell you something about your precious girl, she knew. She knew I was sleeping with Will and Frank.” As I said it, his head snapped up and looked towards her at the bar. She looked worried and she should have been, I thought to myself. He stormed over to the bar and I just stood there watching with the biggest smile on my face. If I couldn’t have him, she won’t either.
Esmeralda
The lights to the bar came on, and that was the signal to let everyone know we were closing in thirty minutes. I’d been happy and cheerful all day. I’d just kept replaying mine and Jackson’s first time together, and every time together since. Yeah, it hurt like hell at the start but when the pain was gone it was so good, especially in the shower when he made me bend over and place my hands flat on the tiled wall, then took me from behind. I needed to stop thinking about this, I probably had the stupidest look on my face all night. I cleared my head and started cleaning the bar area; the sooner I did that the sooner I would get to go home and hopefully, not alone. I looked up to see if Jax was still around and I had a feeling of dread in my stomach, he was talking to Cindy. It looked quite heated and he looked like he was getting angry. Then all of a sudden his head snapped up and he was staring at me and it wasn’t a nice look; he looked angry. He started making his way over to the bar and I swallowed nervously, what could have been wrong? I couldn’t think what it could have been, could he be coming to tell me he had made a mistake and he was getting back together with Cindy? God, I hoped not. I felt sick all of a sudden that my world was about to come crashing down, I looked around to see if there was a bucket or anything around in case I had to throw up.
“Jax?” I asked worriedly
“Is it true?” He asked.
“What? Is what true?” I asked, not knowing what he was going on about.
“You knew? About Cindy cheating on me?” I looked over his shoulder and could see Cindy standing with her arms crossed and she was smirking at me, as if to say she had won.
“Jax, let me explain. It’s not like that.” I said quickly.
“Go on then, explain”
“Can we talk about this later? At home?” I asked, I really didn’t want an audience for this.
“No, I want to know. Did you know?” He asked again.
I nodded my head and went to speak but he had already turned around and walked out the door. My heart sunk and I turned around and threw up in a nearby bucket.
“Hey, Esme, you ok?” Rick asked, jumping over the bar. I just shook my head and felt tears falling down my face.
“What’s happened? Where has Jax gone?” He asked.
“He left.” I whispered to him.
“Left? Why would he leave without you, he has been non-stop talking about you all day.” He told me.
“I saw Cindy and Frank together once and heard her and Will together. I didn’t say anything because she threatened me not to. I didn’t know what to do. I never thought we would actually be together and now I’ve ruined it all.” I said, as I started crying.
“Moving on already? I think I will go get what’s mine.” I heard Cindy snarl. I saw her leave through the same door that Jax did.
“Oh God, I’ve lost him now. What am I going to do?” I asked Rick as he held me while my heart broke.
Jackson
I left the bar and stood outside but was a bit unsure of where to go. In the end, I just started walking down the street when I heard someone call my name, I immediately thought of Esme. But I was wrong, when I turned around I saw that it was Cindy running towards me.
“Baby, wait for me. I can make it all better for you.” She said to me and I shuddered at the thought of letting her near me again.
“Go away, Cindy.” I said to her as I carried on walking.
“N
o, Jax, we were good together, me and you, like old times. I won’t cheat on you again, I promise.” She pleaded with me.
“No, Cindy, I can’t. You wanna know why?” I stopped and she nodded her head. I carried on and shouted at her; “I am in love with that girl in there.” Cindy gasped and looked horrified and started saying “No, no you can’t be, she lied to you, she knew what I was doing, she never told you, she kept it from you.”
“I can’t help who I love.” I said to her and then walked away. I jumped in a taxi to get away from her. I got the taxi to take me back to Rick’s flat. I couldn’t keep sleeping on his sofa, I needed to get a place of my own. Maybe after our summer tour I would look into it, we were leaving in a couple months, so it seemed pointless now. I got to Rick’s, found a bottle of whiskey and started drowning my sorrows, until I heard the door go and Rick call my name.
“Yeah, in here.” I shouted back, I was sat on his worn sofa that he had had forever. Rick walked in, looked at me and shook his head.
“What?” I asked.
“She is breaking her heart... Cindy threatened her.” He explained to me.
“What are you talking about?”
“Cindy pinned her up against the toilet wall in the bar and threatened her not to tell you about Will and Frank, she is in pieces, man. She wanted to tell you but didn’t know what was best to do. I took her home. When I left, she had just crawled into bed like her heart was breaking.”
I didn’t know what to do with this information, I couldn’t get my head around the fact that she didn’t tell me. How could we have a relationship if she was keeping things from me? I would need a couple days away from her to figure things out.
Chapter 38
Esmeralda
“ESME!” Marcy called out as she walked through my front door. I didn’t answer her, I stayed hidden under my duvet. I felt her jump on my bed and she pulled the duvet away from my head. I looked at her and burst into tears once again.
“Oh, hun, come here.” She pulled me to her and tried to calm me down, it wasn’t working. She asked; “Are you not getting ready for work?”
I shook my head and said; “Not going, called in sick.”
“You need to get out of this bed… Come on, let’s get some coffee.”
“NO!” I shouted and carried on with; “I don’t want to risk bumping into him, besides, I still don’t feel quite right. Still really tired and run down.”
“Ok, let’s just go to the kitchen and I will make some coffee.” She then threw the duvet off me and she gasped. “Is that his t shirt?”
I nodded and got out of bed and threw my jogging bottoms on. I went straight to the sofa and pulled a blanket over me. Marcy came over with two cups of coffee and put them on the table. She looked at me and said, “Esme, Jackson is a mess…” That made me sit up and take notice, so she carried on with; “He won’t talk to Rick about what’s going on…”
“Why hasn’t he rung me, Marce?”
“I don’t know, hun... What I do know is that you need to get back to work.”
“No, I can’t. Not tonight, he’ll be there.”
“Exactly, show him what he’s missing… Come on.” She pleaded with me, I could see her point. Maybe avoiding Jax wasn’t going to help. Maybe seeing me will help him come to his senses.
“Ok, yeah… I need to call Paul and tell him I’m coming in.”
“I will do that, you get in the shower.” I nodded and started to head into the bathroom. Before I got there, I turned around and said, “Marce, I’m scared. My heart is breaking and I don’t know how I will react when I see him.”
“It’s ok, hun, I will come with you.”
“Thanks.” I smiled at her.
***
It was half past seven and I had been at work for an hour. Marcy had kept to her word and hadn’t left me. Every time the door opened, I got nerves in my stomach and held my breath. Jax hadn’t arrived, it was Rick who walked in and he smiled when he saw me and Marcy and headed straight for us.
“Hey, Angel.” He said as he kissed her. “Es, are you ok?” He asked as he leant over the bar and kissed me on the cheek. I just gave him a tight smile and froze as the door opened and Jax walked in. He looked at me and looked away almost immediately. My heart sank.
“I had better go, Angel. You staying until the end of the show?”
“Yes, babe.” Marcy replied.
“Ok, see you both later.” Rick walked off in the same direction as Jax went.
“He hates me.” I said to Marcy as tears started falling down my face. Marcy grabbed my face and wiped my tears with her thumbs.
“Stop it, you are ok. I will get Rick to find out what is happening. Ok?”
“Ok, I better go collect some glasses.” As I walked away from the bar, I noticed Jax had walked over to the other side of the bar; the side I didn’t serve at. That upset me as he was clearly avoiding me. I wanted to talk to him so much, but he was showing me that he really wanted nothing to do with me.
It got really busy at the bar which I was thankful for. I noticed that once Flix finished playing, Jax left straight away. It was like I was invisible to him. I was horribly upset and tried so hard not to break down in tears.
Jackson
It broke my heart to walk in to The Archer and see Esme behind the bar, she didn’t look well; she looked like she hadn’t got much sleep and she looked ill. Though she was still as gorgeous as ever.
I really wanted to go straight to the bar and hold her in my arms and tell her that I forgave her, that I loved her and that I wanted to spend my life with her, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t fair to Esme to get her hopes up of a future between us two when it may not be possible. Cindy had turned my world upside down in more ways than one in the last few days and my future was too uncertain for me to even consider how Esme would fit into it. I couldn’t stay around after we’d finished our performance, I was finding it difficult to watch Esme pretend everything was ok, when I knew it wasn’t.
Chapter 39
Jackson
I was sat at a table in The Archer waiting for the next singer to start, Rick had managed to convince me to stick around for the open mic night that Paul has organised. We should have been playing tonight but it was only fair to let some other talent get some exposure, and as Rick pointed out, we may be interested in trying to get some new talent on our tour and I was interested as a fresh face and voice always brought people in.
The crowd started clapping and cheering. I looked up and saw Esme standing on the stage, I was shocked as she had refused to perform the duet that we wrote together all those weeks ago. What was she doing up there? She looked tired, worried, but God, she was breath taking. I felt the familiar stirrings in my stomach and my heart ached at not being able to touch her, I wanted to hold her close so very much, but I couldn’t. I snapped out of my thoughts and listened to her sing, her voice was so innocent and pure, I would definitely love for her to come on tour with us and perform our duet together. She finished singing and I had to get out of there, it wasn’t fair to stay around and tell her that I was so proud of her, that she looked beautiful up there, that I wanted to hold her, kiss her and make love to her. I couldn’t do any of that, I had Cindy to deal with. She came to me a couple of days ago, crying her eyes out, telling me that she had no one, she was lonely, depressed and going through something which she wouldn’t tell me about. She had hurt me a lot when I found out that she had constantly been cheating on me, but we had been together for eight years. I wanted to be there for her, she had no family and very few friends. I felt like I was betraying Esme as we hadn’t really spoken since I found out that she knew that Cindy was cheating on me and she didn’t tell me.
I was ready to talk to Esme and beg for her to take me back, until Cindy threw a spanner in the works. She told me she was pregnant and that the baby was mine. Shell- shocked was not the word for what I was feeling. I didn’t know what to do, didn’t know whether to believe her and definitely didn’t kno
w if the baby would actually be mine.
I felt like I couldn’t contact Esme, what if Cindy was pregnant and the baby was mine? I would have to do the right thing and step up and be the man Cindy needed me to be. She was crying constantly and it always got worse every time I mentioned about going to see a doctor. She had shown me the pregnancy test she had done, but I needed more proof than that. In the past I wouldn’t have hesitated to not believe her, but after everything we had been through I needed more proof.
I finally managed to get Cindy to agree to an appointment and it was scheduled for two day’s time.
Esmeralda
It had been almost two weeks since Jackson last spoke to me. When he came into the bar and wanted a drink, he always went to the other side of the bar so he wouldn’t have to talk to me.
My heart broke every time I saw him, and I was thinking the stress was getting on top of me, as I seemed to be sick and feeling unwell a lot recently. Rick told me he had tried to have several talks with Jackson, but he just wouldn’t listen and that he didn’t seem like the same person anymore.
I’d decided it was time to fight for my man; I had been working on a song that I wanted Jax to hear, I wrote all the lyrics and Rick had helped me with the music. Rick told me that he had convinced Jax to sit in the bar on open mic night, Rick said he seemed interested. It was the time for me to get up and sing, I was so scared, but I needed to show Jax what he meant to me. I went up to the stage said hello to the audience and told them I was nervous. I could see Jax looking at me, but couldn’t work out how he was feeling. The music started and I began to sing:
Rocking Esme (The Rocking Series Book 1) Page 16
