The first time I saw you
I had no choice
My heart stopped beating
At the sound of your voice
I looked into your eyes
And melted away
When you noticed me
It made my day
Seeing her by your side
Breaks me in two
How can you believe
She loves you
I looked into your eyes
And melted away
When you noticed me
It made my day
I want you so bad
So I will just wait
I have no control
So will leave it to fate
I finished my song, looked around and there was no sign of Jax. Everyone else seemed to be going mad, clapping and whooping. I said thank you to the audience, got down off the stage, went to the back room and burst into tears. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately, it must have been a sign of what Jax really meant to me.
I finished my shift and went home, took a bath and crawled into bed, I had a doctor’s appointment for after the weekend to see if I could get rid of this bug, it was really getting me down now.
Chapter 40
Esmeralda
I had made an appointment to go to the doctors. I still felt run down, I was being sick and felt really tired. I’d started to struggle at work because of it and I needed to find out what was wrong, before I lost my job.
The doctor said I was run down and had a virus that was going around and he suggested that I take a couple days off work, to rest, and he gave me a prescription for some iron tablets.
I walked out of the doctor’s surgery to my car and as I searched for my keys, I looked up and saw Jax and Cindy walking into the doctor’s surgery together. They weren’t holding hands or anything, but they must have got back together, that must have been why he had been avoiding me. I felt sick to my stomach and wondered if I had ever meant anything to him at all, if I had, how could he have gone back to her so quickly? I’d spent the last two weeks going through hell and it looked like he had spent that time sorting things out with Cindy. I got into my car and broke down in tears. I got my phone out and texted Marcy;
Saw J, he is back together with Cindy. x
What? Are you sure? x
Just saw them together x
Maybe it’s not what it looks like x
I didn’t respond to Marcy, I wasn’t ready to accept the fact that we would never be together again.
Jackson
I walked into the doctor’s surgery with Cindy; I was going to find out once and for all if she was pregnant. If it turned out that she was, I was going to wait for the baby to be born and insist she have a test done to see if the baby was, in fact, mine. I didn’t want to stay away from Esme for nine months. If it turned out the baby wasn’t mine, I would have lost any chance of getting back together with her. I couldn’t tell her what was going on, I couldn’t expect her to be involved in a baby that Cindy and I had made. That wouldn’t be fair on her.
“Cindy Jeffries.” A doctor called into the waiting room; she stood up and turned to me and said;
“I won’t be long, babe.”
“I’ll come in with you.”
“No, you don’t need to.” She told me firmly and walked away quickly.
Cindy
I walked into the doctor’s room and sat down in the chair.
“Hi Cindy, what can I do for you today?” Dr Stevens asked.
“I need a pregnancy test done.”
“Ok, have you been getting symptoms?”
I shook my head and said; “I need the test to be positive.”
“I’m sorry, there is no way to guarantee that.” Dr Stevens looked confused.
“I need something in writing to say that I am over two months pregnant.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”
“I will do anything.” I said flirting and bending over slightly to show him my cleavage. He didn’t say no again straight away and I was hopeful that I could convince him.
Jackson
“Excuse me.” I said to the receptionist, who was busy typing away at her computer.
“Hi, can I help you?”
“Yeah, my girlfriend is having the first scan of our baby and I arrived late, can you tell me which room she’s in please?” I felt bad for lying to her but I needed to get into the doctors room to find out if Cindy was pregnant or not, I would not let her lie to me about it, and I didn’t trust her as far as I could throw her. The receptionist told me what room she was in and I made my way there. I opened the door and walked in, not expecting to see what I did.
“CINDY!” I shouted at her. The doctor was sat on the examining table and she was bent over him, giving him a blow job. “What the hell is going on?” She jumped away from the doctor immediately shielding him with her back.
“Oh… Um….” She hesitated.
“And you… You are meant to be a professional. There will be complaints made about this, I will have you STRUCK OFF!”
“No, sir, please. She offered herself on a plate to me for a fake positive pregnancy test.”
“WHAT?” I shouted again. “I can’t believe you, I’m glad we’re over and I’m glad that we are not connected for the rest of our lives. Don’t EVER come near me or contact me EVER again.”
I stormed out and didn’t look back.
***
Meet me at the bar, I need to talk I messaged Rick.
Sure man, when?
Now.
Be right there.
I stormed into The Archer avoiding eye contact with Esme and went to sit at a table in the back. Ten minutes later, Rick arrived.
“Hey, man, what’s up? You want a drink?” Rick asked.
“Yeah, jack and coke, please… Make it a double.”
“Ok, be two minutes.”
I watched Rick walk over to Esme and give her a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to be the one kissing her. I needed to get my head straight and then I was going to sort all this out and hoped that I wasn’t too late. Rick made his way back to the table with two drinks. He sat down and asked;
“Are you back with Cindy?”
“What? No!” I was shocked he asked me that after what I went through with her and without realising it, I was shouting; “Why did you ask that?”
“Calm down, man, Marcy told me Esme text her and told her as she saw you two together.”
“What? Esme thinks we’re together?”
“She saw you two together and thinks that’s why you have been avoiding her.”
“Oh, God. No… No… No.” I put my head in my hands and looked down at the table, when I looked back up Rick was waiting expectantly for me to explain. “Look, Cindy told me she was pregnant and that the baby was mine. At first, I didn’t contact Esme, after I found out she knew what Cindy was up to behind my back… But then Cindy came to me crying, telling me she was pregnant and it was mine, and that she was scared as she had no family or friends to turn to.”
“Dude, you don’t even know if it’s yours.”
I shook my head and said; “She isn’t pregnant, Rick, I caught her trying to convince the doctor to give her a fake positive pregnancy test result.”
“Really? Why am I not that surprised?.. So what are you going to do now?.. Is this why you stayed away from Es?”
“Yeah… I couldn’t be with her if Cindy was pregnant and it was my baby… That wouldn’t be fair on her.”
“So what now?”
“I need to get my head around all this and hope I haven’t lost my chance with Es.”
“I really hope you’re not too late.”
“Me too, man.”
Esmeralda
It was a quiet night and I was thankful for that, I was still feeling under the weather and was sick again this morning, this virus was not getting any better. I was surprised when I saw Jax storm in and then shortly after Rick walked in too. They chatted and Rick came to th
e bar, he gave me a kiss on the cheek.
“What can I get you?”
“Two Jack and Coke’s, please. Make one a double.”
“Everything ok? Jax ok?” He hesitated in answering me “Sorry, I don’t want to put you in an awkward position.”
“No, it’s ok. He told me he needed to talk with me.” Rick replied. I raised my eyebrows and Rick added; “Your guess is as good as mine, I don’t know what is going on in his head at the moment.”
I passed him their drinks and he smiled at me and walked back over to Jax. He looked upset tonight and I wondered what he needed to talk to Rick about. I couldn’t help but think it was my fault, he obviously couldn’t get over the betrayal he felt from me. I would do anything to make it all better. Hopefully, Marcy would tell me tomorrow what was going on. I heard raised voices and looked over to see Jax with his head in his hands, I was starting to think that there was something else going on as why would he come to The Archer if all this was about me.
Chapter 41
Esmeralda
“Esme.” Marcy called from my front door, I walked out of the bathroom and almost bumped into her in the hallway.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“We’re going out.” Marcy stated, defiantly.
“What? Why? Where?.. I don’t wanna go out.”
I was feeling really tired and just wanted to sleep. I think more rest was what I needed to get over this virus, I needed to rest.
“We are just going to the cinema… You need cheering up.”
“Do I get a choice?”
She just shook her and said; “Nope. Danni and Kate are meeting us too.”
I really couldn’t see a way out of this, but at least it was only watching a film. That was a relaxing thing to do and I hoped that, by some miracle, it might take my mind off the fact that I still hadn’t heard from Jax.
“Ok, fine. Let me get dressed.” Marcy jumped up and down clapping her hands, she always loved it when she got her own way. Fifteen minutes later and we were sitting in the cinema. The girls were trying their best to cheer me up -they had bought me popcorn, coke, maltesers and fruit pastilles. I seriously wasn’t going to eat all that. We were about to watch the new thriller that was out, I chose the film as I didn’t want to watch a romance or anything that would make me cry.
“So… There was this totally fit guy at the gym today… Muscles everywhere! He was very easy on the eyes.” Marcy started saying and Danni and Kate were giggling.
“I am so jealous of your job, seeing all those guys, especially the hot MMA fighters.” Danni said as she started day dreaming.
“Yeah, I’m not gonna lie, it’s definitely a plus side to the job.”
“What does Rick say about it?” Kate asked.
Marcy shrugged her shoulders and said; “He said it doesn’t bother him as long as the guys keep their hands to themselves, and they know they aren’t allowed to touch me, Daddy makes sure of that.”
“Maybe it’s time I joined the gym.” Danni mentioned.
“You, at the gym?” Marcy said laughing. “That would be fun to see.”
“What? I can go to the gym.”
“And get all hot and sweaty?” Marcy asked raising her eyebrows.
“Um… Yeah, maybe I can come and observe?”
“Not happening.” Marcy laughed.
“Esme, are you ok? You’re really quiet?” Kate asked me.
I just nodded and said; “Oh look, the film is starting.” I was relieved that I didn’t have to start answering their questions.
***
A couple of hours later and the lights came on in the cinema. It was a nice distraction, and I wasn’t thinking about Jax constantly.
“Are you ready to go?” Marcy turned to me and asked, continuing with “Oh my God, Esme did you eat all that food?”
I looked down at my lap and realised that I had eaten everything. “I haven’t been eating properly, I must have been hungry.” I giggled and all the girls laughed with me. “I’m knackered… Take me home please, Marce.”
“Are you sure?.. Shall we go for a drink?” Marcy asked.
“Yeah.” Both Danni and Kate shouted together.
“No… I can’t… Please… I need to go home, I am so tired I need to rest to get over feeling like this.” I pleaded.
“Ok, fine… But I’m staying with you. I refuse to let you cry yourself to sleep and sleep in his t-shirt anymore.” Marcy told me.
I rolled my eyes at her and sighed “Fine.”
“Well, we are going to go out for a couple drinks. See you both later.” Danni said, hugging me and Marcy.
“Thanks for tonight, I had fun… I will be better company once I get over this virus.” They both smiled at us and waved goodbye.
“Come on, hun, let’s get you home.” Marcy said, as she threaded her arm through mine and we walked back to her car.
Chapter 42
Marcy
“Shall we meet at Luigi’s for dinner?” Rick asked me on the phone as I was putting my makeup on.
“Yeah that sounds good, are you not going to come and get me?”
“Of course I am, Angel, be there in ten minutes.”
“Ten minutes, I am only just putting my make up on!” I said, annoyed.
“You know you don’t need all that stuff, you are beautiful without it.”
“Thanks, babe, but it makes me feel better.”
“Ok, see you in a minute. Love you.”
“Love you too, bye.” I hung up the phone and finished putting my mascara on and started straightening my hair. Rick was picking me up for a quick dinner. I needed to talk to him about Esme; I was starting to get really worried about her now. I had just finished changing and was putting my boots on. I looked up and Rick was standing in the doorway to my bedroom, he was quiet and smiling.
“Hey, babe, you ok?” I asked him, as I zipped up my boots, got up and walked over to him. He took me in his arms and went to kiss me when I pulled away and said; “No, you will ruin my makeup.”
“Seriously? You’re letting me take you out looking gorgeous and you won’t let me kiss you?”
“Yep, get used to it.” I said to him, smirking. As I walked past him he slapped me on my bum and I let out a little yelp.
“You better get used to that if you don’t behave yourself.” He said wiggling his eyebrows up and down. I let out a laugh, grabbed my coat and we made our way to his car.
Fifteen minutes later we were sat at a table in Luigi’s pizza place and it was quiet, which was nice. I wanted to be able to talk to Rick without any interruptions and we got that a lot when we were out together; people asking for his autograph. It was something I was getting used to but didn’t like it as I liked having all of his attention.
“I’m really worried, about Esme and Jax.” I said to Rick, whilst he was perusing the menu. He put it down grabbed my hand and kissed the back of it.
“I know, but there is really not a lot we can do, we can’t interfere, Marce.”
“What? Why can’t we? She is my best friend and she is miserable.”
“I know, Angel. Jax is miserable too, I have tried talking to him several times, but he says he needs to get things straight in his head.”
“Does he want to be with her? Now that all this Cindy stuff is out of the way?”
“Yeah, I am a hundred percent sure he does, it’s just…”
“Just what?”
“He mentioned the other day about trying to get Cindy into a rehab programme.”
“What? Is her drinking and drugs that bad?”
“Yeah, I saw her the other day and she was looking rough, she has lost lots of weight and looks spaced out.”
“He’s a good guy for wanting to help her.”
“They were a couple for a long time, he did love her once.” Rick said as the waitress came over to take our order. Rick ordered what we always had when we came here, a large hawaiin pizza and wedges.
“Now, what about Esme? She is
constantly crying about Jax and she is so run down that her body is not healing. This virus is really taking it out of her.”
“I will get Es to meet me for coffee, maybe Saturday and then I can check to see if she is ok.”
“Good luck with that, she won’t even leave the house.”
“I’m sure she will for me.” He said, smirking at me. I leant over the table and slapped his arm as the waitress returned with our pizza.
We both dug in and Rick asked; “So, has it been busy at the gym?”
“Yeah, really busy. We had a new MMA fighter start this week.”
“Oh yeah, hope he kept his hands to himself.”
I laughed and said; “Yeah SHE did. Though she told me I was hot, but don’t worry I told her I had a sexy guitar playing rock star for a boyfriend.”
“A woman, huh?”
“Yeah, she seems really nice. She gets quite a few females come to watch her train. She has a fight coming up soon, we should go, see if Daddy can get us tickets.”
“Yeah, ok, sounds fun.”
“Great. How’s all the preparation going for the tour?” I didn’t really like to talk about it as it made me sad that he would be leaving me, but this was important to him and I would support him.
“Yeah, it’s going good. It’s a shame that Es and Jax aren’t talking because they wrote a duet and it would be amazing as part of the set. That girl sure can sing.”
“Esme wrote a song? Have you heard her sing?”
“Yeah, she sang in the bar last week.”
“She sang in the bar? Esme? How come I’m only now just hearing about this?”
“Oh, sorry, Angel. I helped her with the music and she wanted to sing to show Jax that she was sorry for not telling him about Cindy.”
“What happened?”
“He walked away, again.”
“No wonder she is suffering so much… Shall we make a move? You coming to mine?”
Rocking Esme (The Rocking Series Book 1) Page 17
