by Kelly Favor
She looked at Elijah, sitting there next to her, his profile strong as he stared out across the parking lot. The part of his hair that flopped over his forehead ruffled slightly in the breeze, and Caelyn resisted the urge to reach up and push it off his face. “Why do you have another name you give to the police?” she asked, not really expecting an answer.
But he surprised her. “It’s a long story, and maybe someday I’ll have a chance to tell it to you. But let’s just say that you’re not the only one running away from something.”
He turned to her, and their eyes met. And in that moment, Caelyn realized why it was she’d felt so safe with him. He was running away, too. They were the same, at least on some level.
“You don’t have to tell me,” she said. “It’s okay.” And it was. Sure, Elijah just admitted that he’d lied to the police. It probably meant that he had done other bad things as well. But in a strange way, what was more important was, at least at that moment, he was telling her the truth. And he didn’t have to do that.
She could see the hurt and pain reflected in his eyes, and she wondered what kind of secrets he was hiding. Whatever they were must have been painful and dark and raw. It was almost too much to take, staring at him like that, and she had to look away.
“You’re right, I am a mess,” she admitted, pulling out her pocket mirror and seeing the mascara running down her cheeks. She looked like someone had just taken a flamethrower to a statue in the wax museum. Why hadn’t she thought to at least wash her face?
“What do you say we go inside and grab something to eat?” Elijah asked her. He stood up and reached his hand out to her. She took it, and his grip was strong and comforting as he pulled her to her feet.
“Shouldn’t we be getting back on the road?”
“I checked the times on the busses going to Florida, and we’ve got a couple of hours to spare.”
She smiled a little. He’d taken the time to check on the bus schedule, and he’d come after her even though she’d yelled and screamed and told him to leave her alone.
Whatever else Elijah might be, he was certainly doing more than he needed to for a girl he’d just met.
“I am kind of hungry,” she admitted.
“Obviously. The way you took off out of there with that Slim Jim in hand?” He shook his head. “You probably could have won the Olympic gold medal for the fifty-yard dash.”
Caelyn laughed, her belly loosening, the laughter sounding and feeling more and more real—natural—like her old self. He was smiling, and she realized how close they were standing. His eyes were warm and soft as he looked at her.
For a moment, she almost thought he was going to kiss her, and her heart sped up, but then he didn’t. She looked past him into the convenience store and saw the cashier still giving her the evil eye. “Yeah, we should probably avoid going back in that way.”
“You heard what he called you, right?” Elijah said, leading her toward the other entrance.
“No, what?”
“He thought you were my girlfriend,” Elijah said, glancing at her as if to see her reaction.
“Yeah, well, you seem to be encouraging people to think that about me,” she replied.
“Me? How is this my fault?” He opened the door and held it for her as she walked past him.
“You told that cop that I was your girlfriend. Now people are just assuming it.
You started a rumor,” she chided him. “And now we’ll never live it down.”
“Maybe we should play it up instead.” His voice was mischievous and flirty, and she remembered how his hand had felt against her leg when they’d gotten pulled over.
She didn’t say anything for a moment as they stood there and surveyed the interior of the rest stop. There was the convenience store on the left, and then the restrooms, and then to the right was a decent sized cafeteria, which was home to a half-dozen fast food restaurants.
“What do you mean play it up?” Caelyn asked. They were standing shoulder-to-shoulder, almost touching but not quite.
“Like, if everyone is going to just assume we’re together…we could pretend to be together.”
“But we’re not,” she clarified.
“Oh, no, of course not.” He shook his head. “We’re totally not.”
She glanced at him, and was surprised to see he was looking at her. His eyes were intense, and one side of his mouth was pulled up into playful grin, almost like he was daring her to say yes.
“I wouldn’t mind pretending,” she said, mostly because she knew he wasn’t expecting her to. “But you have to promise not to do anything too crazy.”
“Oh, you can trust me,” he said. “I’m very trustworthy.” He moved a little closer, so that their arms were touching. Shivers ran up Caelyn’s arms, and goose bumps broke out on her skin.
She liked the way it felt, being close to him.
But a second later, she found herself stepping away.
“Don’t worry,” Elijah said, all traces of playfulness gone from his voice. “I would never do anything to hurt you.” And then he reached his hand out—it didn’t have far to go—and took her hand in his. “But we can do this, right?”
An imperceptible shiver ran through her as he touched her. His hand felt strong and kind of soft. Butterflies were suddenly dancing in her belly, but she took a deep breath and let it out. “That’s fine,” she told him.
“Good,” he said, grinning. “Because otherwise you’re not leaving me with much.”
“Okay,” she said. “What now?”
“Now,” he said, “we eat.” He was still holding her hand.
They went to Burger King and grabbed a few breakfast sandwiches and coffee.
Caelyn was fully prepared to pay for herself, but Elijah stopped her. “No way,” he said. “I got it. No way I’m letting my girl pay.”
She almost said, But I’m not your girl.
Except she didn’t want to ruin the fun they were having pretending that she was his girl. Of course, she didn’t feel right letting him pay. She decided that she would repay him once they were back in the car and resuming their “real” roles again.
What are our real roles, though? Are we friends? Acquaintances? What?
Again, there was no good answer to be had.
Elijah pulled out an enormous billfold to pay for the meal. He peeled a twenty off the top and handed it to the cashier.
Caelyn’s eyes widened as she stared at the cash in his hand. He glanced at her as he put his money back in his pocket again. “Something wrong, babe?” he grinned.
“No. It’s just—most people usually keep that amount of money in the bank…or a safe,” she said.
“I’m not most people.”
“I’m starting to figure that out.”
They got their breakfast on a tray, which Elijah picked up. “Where do you want to sit?” he asked her.
She gestured to a small table near a window. “How about over there?”
They walked to the table and then sat down together. Caelyn suddenly realized she was ravenous.
She unwrapped a greasy egg and bacon sandwich and started to eat, barely stopping to breathe. She looked up to find Elijah watching her with an amused expression.
“When was the last time you ate?” he asked.
She wiped her mouth with a napkin and swallowed. “I had a few bites of pizza yesterday,” she said. The thought made her lose her appetite, and she put the sandwich down, pushing it away from her as if it were now infected by the memories.
The greasy pizza sitting on the table.
Jayson laughing.
And then, the screaming.
“Hey, hey—are you okay?” Elijah said. Now he was somewhat alarmed.
She wasn’t sure how long she’d been caught in the nightmare of what had happened to her. It was almost as though she’d blanked out—but now she was swimming back to awareness again. Her entire body was tense, like a coil of wire.
“I’m all right,” she whisp
ered.
“Come on, let’s take this stuff to go,” he said, grabbing the food and putting it in a paper bag, picking up the two cups of coffee.
Caelyn nodded, stood up and the two of them walked out together.
***
About an hour later, they were driving through New York City, and getting close to the bus station.
Neither of them had talked quite as much after the rest stop. Caelyn was still reeling from the experience she’d had when Elijah had asked her that simple question about when she’d last eaten, which had elicited those awful memories and emotions.
She wondered how long it would be before she’d be able to think back on last night with anything less than pure terror. Maybe it would take her the rest of her life.
Rather than talk, Elijah had put the satellite radio on some kind of radio talk show.
The name of the show was Geeks and Gear or something like that. It was a couple of guys talking about computers and other techie stuff. She was surprised that Elijah listened to stuff like that—he seemed more like the kind of guy who would listen to sports radio or angry rap music.
Regardless, she found the voices on the show soothing, and even though she didn’t care what they were talking about, it was sort of nice to just sit and not really focus on anything.
Elijah was content to do the same for a long while. She appreciated that he seemed to understand and respect when she was too overwhelmed to have much interaction.
But finally, he did talk again. “We’re hitting Chinatown,” he said, pointing ahead at the street. The signs on the buildings were mostly in Chinese now, and of course many of the people were also of Chinese descent.
“Is that where the station is?” she asked.
He nodded. “They have the best, cheapest fares around here,” he told her.
“Oh.” She looked out the window and watched as they drove through the city streets. A feeling of loss was starting to creep up on her now. She realized that Elijah and this SUV had become a safe haven for her over the last few hours. Somehow, she’d started to really trust him.
It didn’t make sense.
Nothing made sense anymore.
The minutes passed by a bit too quickly for Caelyn’s tastes. She suddenly wanted to hold onto her time with Elijah, to slow it down, make it last somehow. But before she knew it, he was pulling into a small parking lot and stopping, his face grim.
“Here we are,” he said softly.
She looked at him and smiled. “Here we are.”
“We can sit for a few minutes if you want. The bus won’t be leaving for a little bit still.”
“No, I don’t want to keep you,” she said, trying to smile. “You’ve already gone way above and beyond for me, Elijah. I appreciate it.”
“I wanted to,” he said, his eyes locking on hers.
She wanted to say something then. She wanted to say that they should keep in touch, exchange numbers, anything. But she couldn’t seem to find the words. Her throat locked up. “Thanks again,” she managed, and then opened her door and got out, making sure he didn’t see the wetness in her eyes.
Caelyn walked towards the door of the station, bag and purse in hand. She told herself not to look back and was able to stick to her decision.
Once inside, she went to the window and said she wanted a one-way ticket to Orlando, Florida.
The ticket came to just over ninety dollars with tax. It was about a third of her money—gone in one shot.
The teller pointed to a bus sitting out front, parked on the street, and told her that she could board it now.
Caelyn walked to the bus outside and showed her ticket to the driver, who was standing beside the bus. “Go ahead,” he said, not smiling. His eyes were dull, his mustache gray and wilted.
As she went up the steps to get on the bus, she looked quickly over her shoulder at the parking lot and didn’t see Elijah’s SUV. He was gone.
The bus was less than half empty, and Caelyn took a seat near the back, sitting by the window. She stuffed her travel bag under the seat and put her purse on her lap. The seats weren’t exactly roomie and comfortable, but at least she’d be safe for the rest of the trip.
She wanted to think about Florida and be happy. Freedom was just a hop, skip and a jump away now. One very long car ride away, was the place that she’d been dreaming of—somewhere where she could start over. There would be sun and beaches, and new starts.
But right at that very second, it felt like an empty promise.
She was thinking only of Elijah—his dark eyes, his wicked smile, the feel of his hand covering her hand, the way he’d called her babe in that sarcastic manner when she’d given him a hard time about carrying so much cash with him.
She hadn’t wanted Elijah to go like that—she hadn’t wanted him to leave without so much as a phone number, an address. She’d felt like they’d somehow formed a connection in a very short time, and now that connection could never become what it was meant to be.
And what was it meant to be, Caelyn? She asked herself. Do you really think that a guy who uses a fake name with the police, carries hundreds and hundreds of dollars in cash around in his back pocket, and admits to running away from something bad—do you really think there’s a future with a person like that?
But despite all of her logic, she felt the loss of him acutely and painfully.
In some ways, losing him so soon was worse than what had happened to her last night.
Now that’s just stupid, she told herself.
Maybe it was. But it was how she felt.
A few minutes later, the driver got on board and sat down, starting the engine. She heard the hydraulics hiss and the engine roared dully as they got ready to move.
At the last moment, the driver stopped. He opened the doors to the bus and yelled out at someone. “Yeah, what is it? You got a ticket?”
There was the sound of footsteps and then Elijah climbed aboard the bus, looking around for something—someone. His gaze landed on her.
“Caelyn,” he said loudly, without a hint of embarrassment.
She swallowed. Her whole body was warm, and strangely tingly. Maybe she was dreaming. Maybe she was going to pass out. “Elijah, what are you doing?”
He beckoned to her, waving her towards him. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s get out of here.”
“I can’t, I’m going to Florida—remember?”
“Let me take you,” he said.
She felt like she’d been blasted by a hurricane. The force of what he was saying nearly turned her legs to jelly. Florida with Elijah?
Her mind was racing.
The driver turned towards her. “Excuse me, lady. We need to go, I have a schedule to keep.”
“I know, I’m just— ” she stumbled over her words. “I’m just—”
“If a man who looked like that asked me to go to Florida with him, I wouldn’t waste a damn second,” an older black woman said from across the aisle.
Caelyn grinned. “Screw it,” she said. She grabbed her travel bag, shouldered her purse and got up.
Elijah was laughing now and so was she.
“I guess I’m as crazy as you,” she told him, as they left the bus together.
“That’s why we need to make this trip together,” he said. “Now let’s go get you a refund on that ticket.”
Caelyn followed Elijah off the bus and towards the station. The bus promptly pulled away, and when she looked at the windows, she noticed that all of the people seemed to be staring at her as they left.
Well, she thought, who could really blame them after that scene?
As embarrassing as it was, she was feeling happy. She was relieved that Elijah had come back for her. That meant he had felt it too—the connection between them. It meant something to him as well.
A minute later, she was standing across from the teller at the window, and sliding her ticket under the plexi-glass partition.
“I need a refund,” she said.
E
lijah was standing just behind her, doing something on his phone. Maybe texting.
The teller looked at the ticket doubtfully, then looked up at her. “Refund?”
“Yeah. I just bought this ticket like five minutes ago, but I ended up not taking the trip. So, can I get a refund please?”
The teller shook his head. “Oh, no. Read the fine print. We don’t do refunds.”
“But it was only just a minute ago…”
The teller shook his head back and forth more furiously. “I don’t care if it was ten seconds ago or ten days ago—NO REFUNDS. Can you read? Read that ticket if you don’t believe me.” He slid the ticket back towards Caelyn.
Suddenly, Elijah was pressing against her, his face close the glass. “Do you just enjoy being rude to people?” he said, his voice raising. “Huh?”
“Elijah,” Caelyn said, taken aback by his anger. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not okay. They’re taking advantage of you.”
“It’s the rules.”
“The rules are bullshit.” He pointed at the teller. “Where’s your manager, huh? I want to speak to someone with a brain in their damn head.”
“Elijah.” She touched his arm and he flinched away.
“Fuck it,” he said, slapping at a bunch of pamphlets on the countertop nearby.
They fanned out crazily and some of them fell on the floor.
Elijah walked out, not looking back.
Caelyn grabbed her bag and followed him as quickly as she could.
***
Needless to say, Elijah hadn’t seemed much in the mood to talk for a few minutes after that.
His eyes had remained glued to the road, intensely focused as they drove out of New York and onto the Jersey Turnpike.
She’d offered to pay the toll that came up, but Elijah had declined and paid himself.
Caelyn knew better than to say anything. He was clearly upset, perhaps because he felt he’d been responsible for her losing so much money.
But she wasn’t upset with him about it—she didn’t blame him. She didn’t even blame the bus line or the cranky teller. It was just life. There were worse things that could happen than losing a hundred bucks.
