by Kelly Favor
After they stopped for gas off the turnpike and Elijah paid again, she had to say something.
As he pulled the SUV onto the highway, she cleared her throat. “Look, you can’t just pay for everything the whole trip,” she told him.
He shrugged. “It’s fine. I have the money.”
“But I can’t let you do that.”
“Why not?” he said.
“Because, it’s not fair.”
“You getting stiffed for that stupid bus ticket wasn’t fair either.”
“It’s not the same and you know it.”
He glanced at her. “Whatever, Caelyn. Pay for gas next time if you really want to.”
“It’s not just about gas,” she said, still looking at him, trying to read his expression.
“What is it then?”
“Well…” she sighed, and then asked the question she’d been wondering ever since he’d stepped on the bus. “Are you only going to Florida because of me?”
The question hung in the air and she immediately regretted asking it that way. The truth was, she had almost hoped that he was only going to Florida because of her. Even though it would have been beyond strange, she wanted to believe that Elijah might feel some of what she was starting to feel for him.
Maybe he just wanted more time together. She held her breath.
But he shook his head firmly. “I’m not going to Florida because of you, Caelyn. I was always going to Florida.”
“Oh.” She tried to ignore the disappointment that moved through her belly. “Then why didn’t you say so?”
He shrugged, his dark eyes never leaving the road. “Because I didn’t know a thing about you. For all I know, you were some crazy chick—I didn’t think I needed to tell you my whole travel itinerary.”
“Okay,” she said. She was starting to feel hurt and a little angry. He was acting as though he didn’t just board the bus in Chinatown and practically beg her to come with him.
“So then what changed your mind?
“I don’t know.” He shrugged again. “You seem cool. We had a few laughs. I figured it was silly to make you pay all that money to travel on some stuffy, cramped bus all the way to Florida when I was going there anyhow.”
“Oh,” she said, softly.
“If I’d known they were going to charge you anyway—” He stopped himself.
“What?” she said. “Would you not have invited me?”
He didn’t say anything for a moment. “Look, it’s been a long drive so far,” he told her, not looking away from the road. “Let’s just chill with the Q&A for a few minutes, okay?”
“Sure,” she said. “Whatever you say.”
After that, Elijah turned the satellite radio on again and resumed listening to his Geek and Gear podcasts.
Caelyn settled back in her seat and stared out at the passing scenery, wondering if she’d made a mistake getting off the bus and into his car to go all the way to Florida. If this was the kind of atmosphere that was going to exist the entire drive, then she definitely would regret her decision.
It was when they passed into Maryland that Caelyn’s phone rang for the first time.
She looked at her caller ID.
MOM.
A thrill of anxiety raced through Caelyn’s body when she saw that her mother was calling. She rejected the call, forcing it to voicemail.
Elijah glanced over at her. “You all right?”
“Yes,” she said. Since when do you care? She wanted to reply, but that was a little too childish, even for the mood she was in right now.
A moment later, her cell was ringing again, and once again, it was her mother’s number. Maybe that meant it was an emergency. Caelyn tried to think if someone would have already known she’d taken off, and contacted the school, the police, her parents.
She didn’t think so. The only people who could possibly have noticed she was gone by now would have been one of her roommates. But Alicia had been staying over Ben’s last night and Nellie would probably assume that Caelyn had stayed over Jayson’s apartment.
Her phone was still ringing. She really didn’t want to answer, but another part of her thought it was useless to just ignore her mother’s call. She would just keep calling and calling.
Sighing, Caelyn answered. “Hi, Mom.” She forced her voice to sound cheerful.
“I thought you might be sleeping in,” her mother said, in a tone of voice that indicated she didn’t really approve of the reasons that might cause Caelyn to sleep in, but she understood it was part of college life to stay up late partying.
“Oh, no, I’m awake,” Caelyn told her. “I’ve been awake for awhile.” That was an understatement.
Elijah smirked.
Caelyn looked away from him, out the passenger window.
“Well, whatever,” her mother said, like Caelyn’s sleeping habits weren’t any of her business. “The reason I’m calling is because I’ve got a work conference next week in Boston.”
Caelyn’s stomach dropped faster than an elevator with the cables cut. “Oh,” was all she could manage.
“That wasn’t exactly the reaction I was hoping for, Caelyn Mary.”
“Sorry, Mom, I’m just—I’ve got a lot of work to do. Classes are harder than I expected and it’s overwhelming.”
“I’m sure you’re going to do just fine, Caelyn. You always worry about grades and you always do wonderfully.”
“Yeah, well, this is different, Mom. Cambridge University is a lot harder than high school.”
“I’m sure it is,” her mother said, sounding relatively unconvinced. “But I still think you can find time to see your mother for dinner one night!”
Caelyn didn’t respond. She couldn’t allow her mother to expect that they would see one another next week. Caelyn wasn’t even going to be in Massachusetts.
Maybe now was the time to just get it out—tell her mother the truth. Admit that she was leaving school for the semester, dropping out and running to Florida. What could her mom really do? Caelyn was eighteen, an adult, and perfectly capable of making her own decisions.
But the mere thought of saying those words struck terror into Caelyn’s very soul.
Her mother would be crushed, devastated. Caelyn was the first person in her family to attend an Ivy League college and her parents were totally proud of her for getting into Cambridge on a full scholarship.
To throw that all away would be madness.
And Caelyn could never tell her mother why she was running away, either.
There was a long silence on the phone as Caelyn’s mind spun through the myriad possibilities, the ramifications of her actions finally starting to hit home.
“Are you still there?” her mother demanded.
“Yeah, I’m here.”
“What’s wrong? You sound… different.”
“I told you, I’m just really overwhelmed with school work right now.”
Her mother sighed. “Okay, I see. Maybe I should try you another time—or better yet, you try me back when you feel more like talking.”
“Okay, I’ll do that,” she said softly.
“I’m still planning on seeing you when I come in for my conference. Plan for either Thursday or Friday night—dinner. On me. Okay?”
Now it was Caelyn’s turn to sigh into the phone. “I’ll call you later,” was all she said.
“Okay. Love you,” her mother replied.
And then the line went dead. Caelyn put her cell phone back in her purse. When she looked over at Elijah again, he was still smirking.
“What?” she asked, glaring at him. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing.”
“You’ve got a smug look on your face.”
“Me?” he asked, feigning innocence.
“Yes, you.”
“I just couldn’t help but notice that little miss perfect was lying to her mommy.”
“I’m not little miss perfect.”
He snorted. “Come on. You go to Cambridge? Tha
t means you’re one of those rich kids with perfect grades. Probably lived in Newton or Weston or one of those snobby towns. I know girls like you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Girls like me?”
“I thought maybe you were running away from something serious,” he told her. “I thought maybe you were like me…” his voice trailed off but he didn’t finish.
“How do you know it’s not serious? Just because I go to a good college?”
“You probably think you have it rough. School’s harder than you thought it would be, you’re not the smartest kid in class anymore, and you freaked out. Maybe you and some other spoiled girl got into one of those fights where you pull each other’s hair.”
Caelyn felt suddenly calm as she watched him talking. She knew she was angry, but in a way, his fantasy of who she was and what she was running from had brought her back to earth. There was a reason for what she was doing—a real reason.
“You’re so wrong,” she told him. “But I have nothing to prove to you.”
“Why don’t you tell your mother where you really are?” he said. “What are you so scared of?”
“It’s none of your business.”
He laughed. “Sure. Because you know that I’m right.”
“Believe it if it makes you feel better about yourself.”
“I believe it because I’ve seen enough kids like you.”
“You know nothing about me, Elijah. Nothing.”
He glanced at her. “I know more than you think. I grew up seeing kids like you around Boston—being jealous as hell because I didn’t have shit. I wished that I had parents who weren’t always drunk, throwing shit, hitting each other and hitting me and my brother. I would have loved to live in a nice house with a nice yard, get a decent car for my sixteenth birthday—or even just have enough food in the house so I wasn’t going to bed hungry most nights.”
She swallowed. Maybe he’d gotten some things wrong—they weren’t that rich, for one thing. But he’d gotten a few things right. Her family did live in Avon, Connecticut, which was a very nice town and with a great school system and most of her friends had been quite wealthy. She’d never had to worry about having nice clothes, or spending money, or having enough food in the house.
“I’m sorry you didn’t have those things,” she told him, and meant it. “But you don’t know anything about me or my life.”
“I know enough. I know that you left an ivy-league school that most people would kill to attend, and you’re lying to your parents about it. I know that you’re running away to Florida with hardly any money, and you don’t have the first clue what it’s going to take to survive on your own.”
Caelyn licked her lips. “I have my reasons.”
“Sure. Sure you do.”
Her stomach was on fire now. He was painting her as some spoiled rich kid with a silver spoon in her mouth—some stupid, selfish girl being immature and silly. And he had no right to do so.
“What makes you so great that you can sit there and judge me?” she said. “You’re lying to the police about your name. You’re running away too.”
He nodded. “That’s right. Because I have no choice. I don’t have an education, I don’t have parents that give a shit. All I had was baggage that was going to drag me down.”
“Those are just lame excuses,” she said, firing back, trying to hurt him the way that he’d hurt her. “Plenty of people come from poor homes and have parents that are alcoholics and they still do well in school and end up very successful.”
“Sure they do. That’s what they tell people like you, so you don’t have to feel bad when you step over some drunk bum on your way to your cushy corporate job. Or when you see some guy getting cuffed and stuffed in a police cruiser, you can just feel superior because he didn’t pull himself up by his bootstraps.”
“Maybe he should have. Maybe he could have. Maybe it’s the truth,” she replied.
“But it’s not. If I had the same breaks that you’ve gotten, I’d be going to Cambridge University too. Only I wouldn’t cut and run.”
She stared at him. He looked at her for a long moment and then turned his attention back to the road.
“You don’t know anything,” was all she said. But she was starting to wonder if maybe he didn’t have a point after all.
***
When they crossed into Washington D.C. later that day, she noticed that Elijah was starting to fade.
Traffic had begun building up on the highway, and the slow driving was getting to him. He was restless, moving in his seat, shifting his weight, fidgeting with the radio.
She could see it all over his face, plain as day. He was exhausted.
Despite the fact that they hadn’t spoken much since the argument, she was worried about him. He’d been up driving for hours and hours. They hadn’t had very many breaks, and it was clearly starting to wear on him.
And even though she’d had a brief nap or two, she was completely strung out as well. Her mind and her body had been taxed to their limits.
“Maybe we should stop soon,” Caelyn said, as the traffic slowed further. “It’s getting to be rush hour and the traffic’s only going to get worse.”
“That’s not a very positive attitude.”
“You’ve been driving for hours and hours. At least let me take a turn.”
He gave her a look like she was crazy. “I’m not letting you drive. I saw what you did to your car, remember?”
“I didn’t do anything. It just broke down.”
“Sure it did.”
She rolled her eyes. “Do you plan on just driving straight through to Florida?”
“Sure.” He checked the time. “It’s only…what…another fourteen or fifteen hours.
I can do that standing on my head.”
“You’re practically falling asleep at the wheel, Elijah.”
“I just need to stop for coffee. I’m fine.”
They continued on for another hour or so. Traffic was slowing to a crawl. Caelyn found her own eyes closing, opening and closing, and she was dozing. She’d snap awake periodically to find Elijah staring out at the endless line of cars in front of them.
She opened her mouth to say something a couple of times and then thought better of it.
Traffic broke up as they got deeper into Virginia. Elijah stopped at a gas station to fill up and grabbed them both coffees.
As they were leaving, Caelyn tried to give him twenty dollars.
“Get that away from me,” he said, refusing to take her money.
“Fine, I’ll just put it in your glove compartment.”
“I’ve got plenty of money,” he told her, “and I’m pretty sure you don’t. You should save it for Florida.”
“I can’t let you keep paying for me.”
“What were you studying?” he said, as they left the gas station. He handed her a coffee and stretched, his shirt pulling up and revealing a flat, washboard stomach with six-pack abs.
She tried to avert her gaze but couldn’t help but stare.
“Hello?” he asked.
“Huh?”
“What were you studying at Cambridge? Were you going to be a doctor or something?”
“I was studying sociology.”
“What’s the good for?” he said.
“What does that mean?”
“Like, what would you do for a job after college?”
She shrugged and took a small sip of her coffee. It was hot and good. “I don’t know. Supposedly the FBI likes hiring people from that field. Maybe I’ll track serial killers or something.” She smiled to show she was joking.
“Well, when you get a job with the FBI someday, you can pay me back. But for now, just think of it as a long-term loan.”
“I can’t—”
“Hey,” he said softly, putting a hand on her shoulder. “I know I’m not always the easiest person to get along with. Just let me pay for the trip, okay?”
She nodded slowly, relishing the w
ay his hand felt on her shoulder, glad that they weren’t fighting anymore. She wanted him to stay that way for just a little while longer—
and she’d probably have agreed to anything to make him do so. “Okay.”
“You can always pay it forward,” he said. “Help somebody else out who needs it sometime.”
A moment later, he pulled his hand away.
Once they were back in the SUV, Elijah was about to pull out of the parking lot when his cell began buzzing. He impatiently grabbed it from his pant’s pocket and stared at it. He had a look of concern, or maybe anger, on his face. “Damn it,” he muttered. He started furiously texting.
“Everything okay?” she asked.
He didn’t respond. He finished texting and then his phone started ringing. Elijah’s expression darkened. Finally, after waiting for a few rings, he answered. “Yeah.” His tone of voice was different than what she was used to hearing from him—deeper, more aggressive. He listened to whatever the person was saying on the other end of the phone.
“You know I can’t do that,” he said. “Because.” Pause. “Because I’m done, that’s why.”
Another long pause. He was staring down, his eyes distant as he listened to whatever was being said. His jaw flexed and the muscle twitched, like a pulse. “Listen to me,” he said, his voice an intense whisper. “No, listen to me. If I see you again, it’s not going to be pretty. Understand? Just go on back to the rest of the boys and tell them my message. I’m done. Stop calling me, stop texting me, don’t look for me. If you find me, I can guarantee you’ll wish you didn’t.” And then he took the phone away from his ear and hit the end button.
As they pulled back onto the highway, Caelyn could feel the tension radiating off of Elijah like heat. His whole body gave off a kind of dark, violent energy—and yet it didn’t scare her for some reason.
She knew that what he was feeling had nothing at all to do with her. Still. She knew better than to ask him what that call had been about.
After they’d been driving again for a few minutes, his shoulders visibly relaxed.
He glanced over at her. “I didn’t want you to have to hear that,” he said.
“It’s okay, I don’t mind,” she told him.
He smiled. “I doubt the kind of guys you’re used to hanging around have those kinds of conversations.”
