To Every Love, There is a Season

by Marissa St. James

  "A colt,” Stephen announced. “It looks strong and healthy. David would have been proud of this little one.” The newborn's coat was wet and looked thick. It's color was a mahogany hue, almost as dark as its sire. Dark eyes rolled with wonder as it seemed to consider its new surroundings.

  "David? This is Thunderbolt's son?” Ellen asked in surprise.

  "You did not know?” Stephen chuckled again. “No other stallion could get near our Stargazer. A bit like you, I would say.” Stephen glanced up at Ellen, then turned his attention back to the mare and her colt. “Got her mind set on one male and no one else will do, even if that one is lost to her."

  "He is not lost to me, Stephen. I choose not to think on him. Despite that, everyone else may believe it, but I do not and will not believe David is dead, or Gordon for that matter.” Ellen blushed as her temper flared, but quickly put it aside.

  "Good, because I do not believe it either. Something about the whole situation does not feel quite right, but there is no way we can get to the bottom of it." He frowned, then turned his attention back to the colt. “What will you name this little fellow?"

  "Scot's Honor,” she replied quickly. “He belongs to an honorable man.” Ellen watched the colt clumsily fold its legs beneath it and settle down close by its mother for a night's sleep. Ellen glanced around and saw an apple sitting on a small keg, as if waiting for her to find it. She took the fruit and offered it to Stargazer, who ate it greedily. Ellen rubbed Stargazer's muzzle, enjoying the velvet texture of it. The mare whinnied softly, as Ellen stepped back. “I must return before Nicholas discovers I am not in the castle. Thank you, Stephen, for renewing my faith in life."

  Ellen left Stephen with the mare and foal, and quickly changed her clothes, returning them to their hiding place. When she was ready to leave, she hesitated, as if she wanted to say something more to her father's best friend, but decided against it. Ellen gave her friend a grateful smile and pulled the cloak's hood over her head before leaving the stable. She had a great deal to think about.

  When she reached the corridor outside her chambers, Ellen peered around the corner to see where the guard was. He stood by her door, unfortunately alert. The only way to gain access to her room would be through her aunt's, and the connecting door. She wondered vaguely, if Nicholas was aware of the door between the two chambers. If he were, he would surely see to it the door was sealed against her. Ellen took a deep breath and strolled to her aunt's door, praying it wasn't bolted. She sighed with relief when it opened easily, then quickly stepped into the chamber and closed the door quickly behind her.

  "You are returned. Thank goodness.” Margaret spoke just above a whisper.

  "There was no need to worry, aunt. I was with Stephen. Did Kitty not tell you?” Ellen saw the worry in Margaret's face and wondered what had happened to cause it.

  "I knew where you were, but Nicholas has been here twice, looking for you. I told him you were exhausted and asleep, that you did not wish to be disturbed. He was rather insistent the second time. I had Kitty bolt your door to keep him out."

  "I can assume, then, he does not know about the connecting door between our chambers."

  "Apparently not, or he would have insisted on using it, then have it sealed.” Margaret turned to pace the small room, wringing her hands.

  "There is something more, is there not?” Ellen knew her aunt too well not to see how nervous the woman was. “What has Nicholas done?"

  "Nothing of which you can do anything about, I fear."

  Ellen gently grasped the older woman's arm as she passed by once more. “What is it? I know he has done something. Did he threaten you in some way?” She saw the tears filling Margaret's eyes. Ellen tossed her cloak over a nearby chest and, taking Margaret's arm, invited her to sit beside her on the bed. “Tell me what he did."

  "He has threatened to go to the bishop and bring charges against me, to have me excommunicated."

  "He can not do that, aunt. You have done nothing wrong."

  Margaret continued reluctantly. “I am not worried for myself, but I can not allow him to sully your father's good name.” Margaret took a deep breath before continuing. Tears glistened on her dark eyelashes. “He says he will tell the bishop I have a relationship with your father, that should not be. You know I would never do that, Ellen. I believe with all my heart, that my Will is still alive after all these years. He will come home."

  "I believe you,” Ellen responded quietly. “What does he want in return for his silence?” She thought she already knew the answer to the question, and rubbed her hands nervously against her skirt.

  "He wants me to convince you to marry him. He thinks he has the right to you, after what our family has done to him."

  "And what has been done to him that he did not bring upon himself?” Ellen studied her aunt's features, paled by anger and frustration. Ellen felt a surge of anger within herself as well. By what right did Nicholas think he could manipulate people's lives? She would have to think on the situation and find some way to thwart him. She could not hide from him forever, or expect her family to make excuses for her indefinitely. Sooner or later, the king would have something to say. The king. That was it—or rather the queen. She could talk to the queen and see if she could count on at least one royal ally to stop this wedding. No, that would not work; there was always the danger of the request going back to King John, before she was prepared to state her case. Another way had to be found, one which would not include other people. Her face lit up.

  "Fear not, aunt, I have an idea. Nicholas will no longer be making threats to anyone in our family.” Ellen understood Margaret's expression of horror. “No, I will not do anything as drastic as that. As much as I hate the thought of it, I will have to play his game, until I can find a way to destroy his plans.

  "Do not worry for me. I believe all will work out as it should. He will never again threaten you or anyone else in my family.” Ellen kissed her aunt's cheek, then took her time going through the connecting door, shutting it quietly, so the guard would not hear. She was unsure what she would do with the vague idea she had, but she knew the threats had to stop. As long as Nicholas used them, he believed he could control those around him. “He does not control this lady,” she whispered as she prepared for bed.

  * * * *

  Ellen was unusually cheerful when she appeared in the hall to break her fast. Her mood took a sudden dip, and her eyes darkened with displeasure as Nicholas approached her. After witnessing the birth of the colt the night before, she would allow nothing to spoil the day for her. She took a deep breath, and forced a small smile to her lips, as she broke off a piece of bread and chewed it reflectively. She refused to give him the satisfaction of her displeasure. Perhaps being nice would confuse him. Yes, that could very well do it. He expected her to be sharp tongued as usual. She would give him a taste of compliance. “Good morn, Nicholas. Did you sleep well?"

  Nicholas sat beside her, a surprised look in his eyes. “I would have had a better night, had I known what you were up to. Did you not hear me knocking at your door?"

  "Why, did not my aunt tell you? I retired early and slept soundly. I heard nothing outside my door. Oh, I wish to thank you for the room. It was very thoughtful of you."

  Nicholas’ eyes narrowed with suspicion. “If there is anything else you wish, for your comfort—or that of your aunt and sister—you need only ask."

  Ellen heard the pride in his voice, and held back her disgust. If he truly thought she would go to him for anything, he was sadly mistaken. She only cared to keep him away from Margaret, ending his threats to her. She popped a bite of cheese into her mouth, looking around at the people leaving to attend to their duties. If she could convince Nicholas she was bowing to his wishes, perhaps he would stop pursuing her so relentlessly.

  She finished her drink, then turned to face him. “If you will excuse me,” she said politely, and nodded her head, “I have a great deal of sewing to do."

  "I would rather you go
hunting with me this fine day. We have spent little time together. It would be good for others to see that you are inclined to accept my proposal of marriage."

  "You have not yet proposed, Nicholas. It would be misleading to have others think you have.” Ellen found it difficult to keep the sharpness out of her voice.

  "I will not spar with you, my lady. We are as good as married. ’Tis only a matter of having the words said."

  Ellen saw the spark of anger in his eyes and decided it would be wiser to back away from him. “Perhaps later in the day, we may keep company, in a public way, of course. I will not have people speaking about me or my family in a degrading manner."

  "As you wish. I will expect you to join me later, Lady Ellen."

  Ellen rose gracefully from her seat, aware Nicholas watched her every move. She glided along the dais and stepped down, then climbed the stairs to the solar. She tried to hide a smirk, and almost failed. There were too many people around who did Nicholas’ bidding. Ellen wondered what he held over them to gain their cooperation. It did not matter, she concluded, as she straightened her shoulders and marched up the worn stone steps. She would get around his spies. Once again, she thought of Scot's Honor, pictured the foal's struggle to stand. Like the colt, she would stand on her own.

  She paid scant attention to the gossip in the solar, while she worked on her embroidery. Nicholas did not have to know the dress she worked on was for Kitty. Ellen was in no hurry to complete any new clothing for herself. She glanced up to see one of the ladies worked on a deep red brocade. Ellen thought it a horrible shade, and shivered at the thought of wearing something that looked the color of blood.

  Her attention was brought back to the conversation when someone announced she was with child. Beneath the cloth she worked on, Ellen surreptitiously pressed a hand against her stomach and fought back tears. She would never know the joy of giving David a child, of seeing the pride in his eyes for his son. She imagined a boy, dark like his father, and just as stubborn. The image in her mind brought a moment's pleasure, and a small smile to her lips, but faded away when she wondered again if it could ever be. Her gypsy Scot may be lost to her. If he did search her out, could she forgive him for sending her away? Ellen didn't know, which made her question her feelings for the missing Scot.

  Ellen blinked rapidly to clear away the tears gathering in her eyes. It would never do to have anyone express their concern for her emotional state. She wanted no apologies, no pity for her assumed loss. They were entitled to their personal joy, as she once had been. She joined the group in expressing her happiness for the lady, while deep inside her heart was breaking for the love she may have lost forever.

  She vowed to herself, that if she were forced into the marriage with Nicholas, she would do everything she could to avoid giving him an heir. A child conceived in a loveless relationship would have no life. She did not want to think of Nicholas twisting a son to suit his purposes. Even a daughter would fare poorly under Nicholas’ scrutiny. Ellen focused her attention on her work, and thought about the problem at hand.

  When she returned to her bedchamber later, she was surprised to see the corridor clear of any guards, but one woman stood alone. She paced the floor between the entrances to Ellen's and her aunt's rooms, as if waiting impatiently for someone to arrive. Her pacing stopped when she saw Ellen. “You are Lady Ellen?"

  "Yes,” Ellen replied warily. She could not recall having seen the woman before.

  "I am Lady Meredith of Fair Haven.” She hesitated. “Nicholas’ stepmother."

  Ellen was surprised to see that Nicholas’ stepmother was not much older than herself. She wondered what business the woman could have with her. “Yes, do come in, Lady Meredith.” Ellen pushed open the door and stood aside to allow Meredith to go ahead. “You wish to speak to me about something?"

  Meredith paced the small room then looked up at Ellen. “You are to marry Nicholas?"

  "So the king has decreed,” Ellen replied cautiously. There was no reason to let this woman know how she truly felt about the marriage.

  "Is there no way you can cry off?"

  "Not that I am aware. What makes you think I do not wish to marry him?"

  "You do not love him."

  "And how would you know that?” Ellen's curiosity was piqued. Why would this beautiful woman want her to disobey the king's command? Lady Meredith was beautiful. Ellen had heard she was now a widow. Her choices for another marriage would be plentiful. She was wealthy as well. While most of Fair Haven and its riches would go to Nicholas, Lady Meredith was, undoubtedly, well set with her own income.

  "'Tis not of any import how I know. I can tell you this. Several years ago, I was to marry Nicholas, but my father had other ideas for me and wed me to Nicholas’ father. I am widowed, as are you, but I would marry Nicholas if only he would look my way. He thinks I spurned him in favor of his father's title and wealth."

  "Did you?"

  "You are blunt, but I should not be surprised. Of course not,” Meredith stopped her pacing and exclaimed indignantly. “It was my father's choice, not mine.” She continued pacing again. “Now that I am free, I would wed with Nick, if he would have me.” Meredith hurried over to stand before Ellen. “I have always loved him, despite...” She stopped before she could finish the sentence, then let out a sigh.

  "Despite what?” Ellen asked gently, feeling as if she were playing some sort of game and did not know the rules. She had not meant to be rude a moment earlier. There was something more to this lady's plea. If only it were a simple matter to get out of this undeclared betrothal. Meredith was more than welcome to Nicholas’ attentions and his bed. Ellen wanted no part of him.

  "It matters not. I made a grave mistake, coming to you this way. Please forgive me, Lady Ellen. Nicholas is lost to me forever, and I must accept that.” Meredith sniffed then stood straight. “Forgive me for taking up your time.” Meredith hung her head in dismay, then hurried out of the bedchamber.

  Ellen looked after the woman, curious about what she might have been holding back. What did Meredith know that could upset her so? Ellen watched her vanish around the curve in the staircase, then closed the door to her room and leaned against it. A bad feeling skittered through her, and, although she made sure never to be alone with Nicholas, she promised herself she would double her efforts to have others around her when he appeared. She glanced at the closed door. What had Nicholas done to create such a mix of fear and devotion?

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Ellen was blissfully at peace when Nicholas had been called home. As relieved as she was to see him go, she thought it would be too much to hope he would stay there. She refused to let thoughts of his return spoil her freedom.

  Spring blossomed into summer, bringing with it the scents of a warm season. Meadow grass turned a deep rich green, and scattered flowers produced cascades of color. Ellen used the summer blossoms as an excuse to escape the castle, where obnoxious winter odors lingered. If only King John would give her family leave to return to Ravencliff. She saw no reason for their extended visit, except to entertain the king. Grand meals, gossip and intrigue did little to hold her interest. Her father often complained of the boredom of court life, wishing he could return to his home and attend to matters there. Ellen heartily agreed with him. The sooner she could leave Windsor, the more content she would be.

  The day before, Stephen had escorted her and Kitty into the town. Ellen was fascinated by the wares being offered, and decided to purchase a few trinkets for her family. The choices had been hard, but in the end, she'd found something special for each family member, and something for Stephen. Kitty had teased her about purchasing a gift for Nicholas, knowing how vehemently Ellen would react to the suggestion. Kitty had bounded away to another stall, laughter bubbling from her throat. Thinking about it now, Ellen smiled. Only Kitty would dare tease her in that fashion.

  As she did every morning, Ellen visited Stargazer and watched the colt frolic about in a nearby field. She stood stil
l, waiting patiently while Scot's Honor came to know her. The colt trotted over to her, tossing his head and short mane. Stargazer stayed close to her offspring, but welcomed Ellen with a whinny. Ellen laughed, as the mare nosed about, looking for the apple she knew Ellen always had with her. The mare chewed happily, while keeping a watchful eye on her young offspring.

  Ellen reached out and touched the colt's soft muzzle. “One day, you will do your sire proud,” she said softly and continued to gently rub his face."

  "He shows promise of great strength,” Stephen commented as he stood by Ellen's side. “King John has hinted at interest in your Scot's Honor."

  "He can hint at interest elsewhere,” Ellen replied indignantly. “Scot's Honor belongs to David."

  "But you are David's widow, and holder of all he owned."

  "It seems the king considers me a widow when it suits his purpose."

  "Aye, but given a choice, I think I would rather see the king own the colt, than Nicholas.” Stephen reached out to touch the colt, but it quickly darted out of reach.

  "And I would see neither of them have the colt,” she replied hotly. Ellen closed her eyes and calmed herself. “The king prizes nothing. He only cares about what more he can possess. Neither he nor Nicholas will have Scot's Honor. I will find a way to keep both of them from claiming the colt."

  Ellen stared across the meadow, at the peaceful sway of flowers and grass in the gentle morning breeze. “Stephen, has the king been to see the colt?"

  "Not that I am aware. What are you thinking?” Stephen asked carefully.

  "How can one claim what another does not have?” she replied slyly.

  "Lady Ellen, what are you thinking?"

  Ellen was aware Stephen might not approve her idea, but she would go through with it, if she had to do it alone. She only hoped there would be no price to pay by her family for her daring. “I may have an idea to keep both king and ‘suitor’ at bay."