Dingo's Recovery

by Genevieve Fortin

  Joyce couldn’t believe how much she’d opened up to Amanda. She’d never before told anyone that healing from the loss of her wife had involved evolving as a person who was markedly different from the one Evelyn had been married to. How could she? She still had a hard time admitting it to herself. Finding anything positive in her wife’s death was a form of betrayal, wasn’t it? Maybe she’d be able to move beyond that guilt as she continued to confide in Amanda. She didn’t know if she found it easier to talk to her because she hadn’t known Evelyn or simply because of the way she was, but she knew she could count on her to help her work through her feelings of culpability.

  “So, what do you think of the place?” she asked Amanda, who was still carefully studying her surroundings.

  “It’s noisy, and it’s crowded, but it’s completely new and kind of exciting,” Amanda explained with a hesitant smile. “Don’t leave me alone though. It looks like a labyrinth in here.”

  Joyce laughed. She’d gotten lost in the maze of slot machines in the past so she knew Amanda wasn’t wrong to be worried. “I’m sticking to you like glue, don’t worry. Where would you like to start?”

  Amanda shrugged. “I don’t know. I have no idea how any of these machines work. I’ll observe you for a little while if that’s okay.”

  “Excellent. Let’s start at the blackjack table, shall we?”

  Amanda followed her to a table covered in green velvet where one seat was available. She sat on the stool and bought some chips from the dealer. Blackjack was her favorite game although she always seemed to ask the dealer to hit her with one card too many, going bust every time. Or almost every time. The rare occasion she hit the perfect twenty-one kept her coming back.

  Amanda stood behind her, looking over her shoulder. She was so close she could feel her breath on her neck. Warm breath that penetrated the silk of her scarf to her skin. The sensation gave Joyce chills. It was distracting, but sensual. Much too sensual.

  To make things worse, people were continually walking by, forcing Amanda to press her body into Joyce’s back. She felt guilty about the pleasure she took from that. It made her so uncomfortable, in fact, that after just a few losing hands she grabbed her remaining chips and stood up from her stool. “This is boring for you,” she said. “You don’t get to play at all. Let’s try some slots instead, okay?”

  “It wasn’t boring, I assure you,” Amanda replied, her face flushed. “But it is a little tight here.”

  “Right. Let’s go somewhere we can breathe better.” Joyce took her hand and guided her through the crowd gathered around the game tables. She dropped her hand once they had more room to maneuver, but Amanda remained close, following her through the alleys of slot machines. She finally spotted two machines side-by-side that appeared interesting. She sat in front of the first machine and patted the seat next to her so Amanda would sit.

  Amanda looked up at the tall illuminated display screen, obviously intimidated. “How does this work?”

  Amused, Joyce explained where to insert money and how to choose the amount of each bet. “That’s about it. There’s no science here. It’s purely random.”

  “Okay. If you say so.” Amanda played reluctantly at first, but then her machine started paying small amounts here and there and she laughed gleefully every time the music announcing a gain started playing.

  Joyce’s own machine didn’t pay out a dime so she waited a few minutes between each bet so she could make her money last longer and not lose her seat next to Amanda. Watching her enjoy herself this much was too much fun. Joyce laughed. She’d hoped Amanda would enjoy going to the casino, but she’d never imagined she could play with such abandon, even grabbing Joyce by the neck and hugging her when she accessed a bonus round. She was beginning to fear she might have created a monster when Amanda declared that she was hungry.

  “All right. There’s a pub right here in the casino. We can have a bite before we leave. They have excellent beer.”

  “Sounds good. One last bet and we’re going, okay?”

  Joyce nodded and watched as Amanda shockingly selected the maximum bet of four dollars. “Let’s make it count.”

  “You’re crazy,” Joyce said before she laughed. The animated wheels started spinning and Amanda grabbed her hand and squeezed it tight. Dragon figures lined up on the screen and the winning music started playing as the words “big win” flashed on the screen. “Oh my god, Amanda, you’ve won five hundred dollars!”

  “What? Holy shit!”

  Joyce laughed out loud. She’d never before heard Amanda cuss. She was so excited she hugged Joyce again.

  “All right, let’s go now. I’m buying dinner,” Amanda announced.

  “You better,” Joyce said with a wink before she hit a button on Amanda’s machine and a ticket printed out.

  “Thank you, Joyce. For bringing me here. It was such a blast. I have so much fun with you,” Amanda said as a blush covered her face.

  There was no doubt in Joyce’s mind the young woman was genuinely grateful and she found that making her this happy for a couple of hours was unexpectedly gratifying to her as well. “You’re welcome. Now let’s go cash in your money and get something to eat.”

  Minutes later they were sitting at a small table sharing onion rings and chicken wings and drinking craft beer. Amanda was only halfway through hers when her eyes became glassy. “You’re not a big drinker, are you?” Joyce asked teasingly.

  “It’s obvious isn’t it? I never drink. But today is a special day.”

  “I’ll drink to that.” They clanked their glasses together and took another sip of beer.

  Joyce enjoyed watching Amanda loosen up and enjoy herself, but she had to admit she wasn’t the only one having a good time. She hadn’t felt this relaxed and comfortable in anyone’s company in a very long time. She hoped the feeling was mutual. The thought made her realize that although she’d divulged a lot about Evelyn already, Amanda had never talked about her love life. Perhaps thanks to the beer, she dared to bring it up. “You know, I was wondering about something.” She paused to see if Amanda would encourage her to continue.

  “About what?” Amanda prompted innocently, opening the door for her.

  “Well, you’ve asked a lot of questions about my relationship with Evelyn, but what about you? Have you ever been in love?”

  Amanda didn’t stiffen up as Joyce had feared, but she lowered her gaze to her drink and focused on wiping droplets of condensation on her glass for several seconds before she finally shook her head. “No, never. I had a crush on a professor once, but nothing serious.”

  “That’s such a shame,” Joyce said before she could stop herself. “You’re such a bright, beautiful, and kind young woman. You have so much to offer.”

  “I’ve always been scared to let anyone in. Scared of being hurt. But lately…” She didn’t finish her thought.

  “Lately?” Joyce asked, urging her to continue.

  Amanda leaned over the table and met her gaze. She was clearly getting tipsy, but there was a new, self-assured expression in her eyes that was almost seductive. “But lately I’ve been thinking I might be ready, you know, for that kind of love in my life. I mean, to share my life with a woman I love and who loves me for who I am. I’d never thought it could happen for me before…” Her voice trailed off again and she dropped her eyes to the glass of beer she was holding.

  “Before what?” Joyce insisted.

  “Before I met you,” Amanda declared without looking at her.

  Joyce’s heart started racing uncontrollably, even as she told herself that it was hearing about her relationship with Evelyn that had most likely taught Amanda that love could last. She was glad she was able to convince the young woman that even when it hurt, love was still worth it. If their friendship had allowed Amanda to open up to love, that was something to be proud of.

  “Well, I hope you do find love, my dear. Any young woman would be lucky to be loved by you.”

  Amanda looked up a
nd Joyce thought she saw a flash of sadness pass through her eyes before she looked down again and sighed. They changed the subject to lighter topics, but as they chatted Joyce wondered what she could do to help Amanda find love.

  She gave some more thought to the scheme Barbara had proposed on Wednesday. She’d had no intention of helping her with it. Until now, that is. Maybe—if she put her own feelings aside, her own fear of losing Amanda’s attention—it might not be such a bad idea to introduce her to Heather. Perhaps Heather could be the woman she deserved. And if she couldn’t, Heather knew other women their age that Amanda might be interested in.

  Perhaps the right, unselfish thing to do was to go along with Barbara after all. She vowed to consider the option again. Later. Now, however, she was going to focus on enjoying her time with Amanda—while she still had her full attention.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “All right. Let’s take a look at that leg,” Amanda said with a grin before she forced her attention away from Joyce and onto Dingo. She put him in a standing position on the exam table to observe how much weight he put on his bandaged leg. He stood proudly, as if he didn’t have a bandage at all. Satisfied with what she saw, she scratched the dog’s neck and smiled at Joyce.

  She hadn’t seen her or spoken to her all week and she’d missed her terribly. And she’d worried. She’d relived their time at the casino and their conversations over and over again since then and although most of her memories made her smile, the part about her own love life left her embarrassed.

  She regretted telling Joyce that she felt ready to find love since she’d met her. The beer had made it easy to offer what she’d thought could only be interpreted as a proclamation of her romantic interest in Joyce. But she hadn’t responded the way she’d hoped. She’d obviously misunderstood her confession or, worse, had acted like she didn’t understand because she wasn’t interested. Either way Amanda had feared that she’d scared her away and lost her friendship. She was relieved to see her appear to be as comfortable in her presence this morning as she’d been last Saturday.

  “Well, that looks really good. If all is going as planned today should be the last time we use a splint. The next bandage will be a soft one. Do you have any concerns?”

  “No. He’s doing very well. It’s getting harder to limit exercise though. He wants to run so badly. I don’t think he realizes he still has a while to go before he fully recovers from his injury,” Joyce said with a chuckle Amanda found so sweet she couldn’t help but join in her laughter.

  “That’s a good sign.” Her gaze lingered on Joyce’s dark eyes.

  “Should I go get the scissors?” Isabelle asked, reminding Amanda of her presence in the exam room.

  “Yes,” Amanda said before she cleared her throat and turned to the vet tech. “Yes, that would be great. Thank you.” Isabelle left the room and Amanda brought her attention back to Joyce. “Did you have a good week?”

  “Yes, I did, thank you. Did you?”

  “Yes. Thank you again for last Saturday. It was really nice.” She wanted to say so much more, but didn’t know where to start. She petted Dingo vigorously, grateful to be able to plunge her fingers into his fur so she could work out some of her nerves. Dingo had no complaint, enjoying the massage.

  “No need to thank me. I enjoyed it too. I almost called you this week to go for coffee but I didn’t dare,” Joyce said, uncharacteristically hesitant.

  “You should have,” Amanda replied a little too enthusiastically before Isabelle came back with the scissors.

  Amanda focused on her work, not looking at Joyce again before Dingo’s leg was exposed. “The sores aren’t infected and there aren’t any new ones, so we’re on the right track,” she explained with a quick reassuring smile to Joyce, who was studying his leg with an endearing, concerned expression on her face. “We’re still going to clean his leg and dry it well before we replace the bandage.”

  “Yes, I know the drill,” Joyce replied with a laugh. “I’ll sit in the waiting room.”

  “Great, we’ll be with you as soon as he’s ready.” Amanda’s heart ached when she watched her leave the exam room. She’d been waiting six days to see Joyce again and they hadn’t been able to share anything meaningful. This kind of polite and superficial chitchat was so unsatisfying after the much deeper conversations they’d shared recently. Amanda followed Isabelle to the back room with Dingo in her arms, wondering why Joyce hadn’t called. She was usually more talkative and didn’t shy away from proposing outings. What had stopped her this time? She needed to talk to her again. This meeting had been a lot more frustrating than satisfying.

  As Joyce sat patiently in the waiting room, she pondered her decision to invite Amanda to her house for dinner the following day. After their evening at the casino, she’d concluded that she’d been selfish in her decision to keep her to herself. Amanda had confided that she wanted to find love and Joyce had the power to help her meet women her own age with whom she might develop a romantic relationship. All she had to do was introduce Amanda to Heather. If there were no fireworks between them, Amanda would more than likely find someone else within Heather’s wide circle of friends.

  Joyce had convinced herself it was the right thing to do, yet she’d postponed making the invitation. She didn’t like the idea of tricking Amanda into meeting her niece, and she hated the idea of sharing her with Heather even more.

  Feeling someone approach, she looked up. She was surprised to see Amanda instead of Isabelle, holding Dingo in her arms. “I’ll walk you to your car,” she announced with a smile.

  “Wow, that’s going above and beyond your call of duty, isn’t it, Doctor Carter?”

  “Perhaps, but I do it for all my favorite clients,” Amanda whispered.

  Joyce laughed as quietly as she could. She’d already paid for the visit and the antibiotics she carried in her purse so she proceeded to the front door of the clinic and held it open for Amanda, who was still carrying Dingo. They walked toward her Subaru in silence and installed him in the backseat.

  “Thank you,” Joyce said before she started to open the driver’s door of her car. Somehow her invitation to dinner was still stuck in the back of her throat. Before she could open the door wide enough to get in, however, Amanda stopped her.

  “Wait.”

  Joyce turned to Amanda and saw that a dark, uneven blush had covered her face. She was obviously nervous about something. She closed the car door and gave Amanda her full attention, stopping short of taking her hands because they were standing in front of the clinic. “What is it?”

  “Actually, I walked out here with you because I wanted a little bit more time to…” Her voice trailed off. Joyce offered an encouraging smile as she waited, finding it more and more difficult not to give Amanda any kind of physical comfort as she struggled to express her thoughts. At last, the beautiful redhead took a deep breath and went on, “Well, I was hoping we could do something this weekend, if you’re available. I’d hate to wait until Dingo’s next appointment to see you again.”

  Joyce stared into Amanda’s soft brandy-brown eyes and sighed, resigned. It was time to take Amanda and herself out of their misery. “I’d hate that too. Very much so. In fact, I was hoping you might join me and Dingo for dinner at our house tomorrow. Nothing fancy. Just some food and conversation.”

  “That would be perfect,” Amanda answered cheerfully.

  “Fabulous,” Joyce exclaimed half-heartedly as she pulled a pen and a piece of paper from her purse. Using her car as a hard surface, she scribbled her address and she continued, “Come around five. We’ll share a glass of wine. Or lemonade?” She glanced at Amanda with a mocking grin.

  Amanda laughed and retorted, “I can handle wine once in a while. I’ll even bring a bottle for dinner.”

  “Don’t be silly. Don’t bring anything. I’ll take care of the food and wine.” She handed Amanda the piece of paper and concluded, “So I’ll see you at five?”

  “I’ll be there. Thank yo
u very much for the invitation.”

  “You’re most welcome.”

  Joyce drove away with a mix of emotions she couldn’t explain. She was elated she’d get to see Amanda so soon, but frustrated it wouldn’t be the kind of dinner she’d promised Amanda, the tête-à-tête she probably wanted even more than she could admit to herself.

  She used the Bluetooth capabilities of her car to call Barbara. “It’s happening tomorrow. Make sure you and Heather don’t show up before six o’clock.”

  “Tomorrow? But Heather probably has plans for tomorrow by now…” Barbara started to protest.

  “That’s your problem. It’s tomorrow or never.” Joyce knew she wouldn’t find the nerve to trick Amanda again.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Amanda decided to walk to Joyce’s. It was a little over a mile from her condo and she knew they’d drink some wine. She didn’t feel comfortable driving after so much as a single sip of wine.

  She’d never explored so far up Garland Street before. When she’d first turned onto the street, she was surprised Joyce could live in such an environment. Some of the older homes were clearly not being well taken care of. Several had broken windows and were in desperate need of paint. As she moved further up the hill, however, homes were newer, bigger, and built on larger lots with mature trees. There were definitely two distinctive worlds on Garland Street: down the hill and up the hill.

  She slowed as she approached Joyce’s home, though not because of the steep slope of the street. She’d left her condo much too soon. Not wanting to arrive ridiculously early, she kept looking at her watch and adjusting her pace as she admired the beautiful homes. She marveled at their size. She’d never wanted such a large house for herself, and she wondered how Joyce could live in one of them alone with Dingo. It seemed like a lot of wasted space.

  It was a hot August day and people were outside, mowing their lawns or taking in the late afternoon sun. Most smiled or nodded at her politely as she walked by. Others looked her over from head to toe as if suggesting someone dressed in denim shorts, a white tank top with a green sweater over it, and hiking boots didn’t belong in this section of the street. She nervously closed a fist around the strap of her messenger bag, took a deep breath, and started ignoring everyone. She refused to be judged by these people. She’d dressed the way she always dressed, the only way she knew how and the only way she felt comfortable. Joyce was used to her fashion sense and didn’t seem to mind it, and that was all that mattered.