Dirty Little Secrets

by Kierney Scott

  Eventually he pulled away, but not before she could feel the thick length of his erection pressed against her, high on her belly.

  “Let’s eat,” James said, pulling further away from her, separating his body from hers completely. His demeanour changed, going from electrically charged to friendly but distant. The eyes that had been looking at her with hooded passion were now staring through her.

  Megan’s eyes narrowed in confusion. The food would wait. What was he playing at? Was it a game? Or a joke she wasn’t in on? She sighed in exasperation. “Did you just want to see if you could get me to stay? Are you one of those guys who gets bored after the chase?” The realisation was a slap in the face. Maybe he wasn’t the nice guy she thought; maybe he was just another asshole trying to play her.

  James shook his head. His hand reached between them and pulled her hand down to his hard erection. “This isn’t bored.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “I’m not going to give you another excuse to run tonight. I’m not going to let you blame it on the postcoital drop in dopamine this time.”

  “Serotonin,” she corrected. “You want me to spend the night and not have sex?” Was he having a laugh? “What’s the point of that? Are you trying to make another point? Because I’m really not interested in your pop psychology. I don’t need you to fix me.”

  James grabbed her hand and led her through the living room into the kitchen. “I want to spend the night with you, Megan, but I know if we have sex you will find a reason to pick a fight or run. I’m not going to give you the chance. Don’t read anything more into it. I just want to spend a quiet evening with a woman whose company I happen to thoroughly enjoy. God only knows why. Now I am hungry, so let’s eat.”

  James pulled out a chair from the solid oak kitchen table. Megan hesitated a second before she sat down. As he placed a plate in front of her, she asked, “So are we giving up on the fuck buddy thing?”

  James leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose. “Oh no, there will be plenty more fucking, we’re too good together to give that up, just not tonight. Or any night I want to actually spend time with you. Looks like I’m learning to compartmentalise. You have taught me so much.” He served her up two slices of pizza and half of the salad before he served himself. “There is the Megan I thoroughly enjoy fucking and the Megan I want to talk to. I know I can’t have both at the same time. Wine?” he asked.

  She shook her head. If there wasn’t going to be any sex, there wasn’t really any need for a drink and she slept better without alcohol. If she had any chance of making it through the night in his bed, she was going to need to go at it sober. “Just water please. And only water for you too,” she reminded him.

  “If sex was on the cards, you would ask for wine, wouldn’t you?” he asked, reading her mind.

  She did not deny it. He knew too much about her. “If I am abstaining, so is my liver.”

  “Fair enough. But we will have sex sober at some point. Lots of it,” he assured her as he handed her a glass of chilled water.

  He was wrong but she didn’t correct him. “How are your eyes?”

  “Shit sore. But at least you know that stuff works. I’m glad you carry it when you run. I would prefer if you didn’t run by yourself though. If you want to run along the river at the crack of dawn, I will go with you. You might need to train a bit harder though, if you want to keep up with me.” James winked as he sat down across from her and bit into a slice of pizza.

  Her eyes widened. How could he still be concerned about her after everything she put him through? He really was a nice guy. She enjoyed the company of a nice guy, who knew that was even possible? “What I lack in speed, I more than make up for in endurance. One hard run with me and I’ll leave you crying in the dust, boy.”

  “Challenge accepted. I’ll set the alarm for 4:30.” James finished off his slice of pizza and then reached for another. He put another slice on her plate at the same time.

  She thought for a second before she reached for the additional slice. It wasn’t even Thursday, her preordained red meat and carbs day. “For real? You want to go running with me?” Not even Ben ran with her. Even before he tore his ACL, Ben only ran at the gym. She always ran alone. It was her time. She was intrigued by the idea of running with someone else. No, that was a lie; she was intrigued by the idea of running with James. It was something simple and mundane, something normal. She aspired to normal.

  “You’re sexy when you’re surprised. Why are you shocked? I don’t want you running alone but I wouldn’t dream of trying to stop you. So I’ll run with you.”

  Her stomach did a flip. He was being protective and sensitive at the same time; she did not know that combination was possible. Men were either aggressive like the men she tried, or emotional like Ben. James was something entirely different, a creature so utterly masculine but also surprisingly caring. She did not know how to react so she changed the subject. “Have you ever spent the night with someone?”

  James nodded. “Not willingly but yes, there has been the occasion where I couldn’t get away. When that happens I spend most of the night staring at the ceiling waiting for the alarm clock to go off. The worst is the morning, when they want reassurance that the sex meant something and I can’t give it because I’m not going to lie; that part is always fun. Tears are always a great orgasm chaser. Promise me you will never ask if it was special.”

  Megan nearly choked on her pizza. It was like he was reading her mind again. She felt the same way, though no man had ever needed reassurance after sex. They arrived, they fucked, they left, just the way she liked it. God she really was a wombat. “Never going to happen. As you know, I don’t stick around after sex and God forbid if I start to think it means something. The day I start equating sex with love is the day I give it up. You’re safe on that front.”

  “I wish we had wine so we could toast to that.”

  Megan scrunched up her nose as she smiled. “So do you just have a string of fuck buddies then or do you have a series of short-term girlfriends?”

  James swallowed the salad he was chewing before he answered. “You are my first proper fuck buddy. I always put all my cards on the table but every woman I’ve been with thinks that they are the one that’s going to change me. I just need to meet the right woman and all that bullshit. It usually takes them a few months to figure out I actually mean what I’ve been telling them from the beginning.”

  “So you have never had a proper girlfriend?”

  He shook his dark head. “Never had and never will.”

  “I have. A boyfriend I mean, not a girlfriend. In Mississippi I had a couple steady boyfriends. In my defence there was not a lot to do in Tally, Mississippi.”

  “You realise you just told me your home town?” James’ brow arched in question.

  Megan unfolded a white paper napkin that had come with the pizza and dabbed the corners of her mouth. “Yep I do. The way I figure it, if you’re going to fuck me over, nothing I do or say is going to stop you so I may as well stop trying to cover my tracks. It takes far too much energy. And you know what, it feels good to be able to be honest with someone.”

  James smiled. “Nice to meet you, Megan from Tally, Mississippi. I am James from Sydney, Australia. Ever been?”

  Megan shook her head. “To Australia? No. I just applied for my passport this month. I never needed one before but after the election I will need it when I travel with Ben.”

  A dark shadow crept across James’ face. “Why did you marry Ben? You could do much better.”

  She shook her head. “No I couldn’t really. You said it yourself. No man is going to put up with my bullshit for very long.”

  “I’m sure if a man loved you enough, he would learn to deal with it.”

  “I doubt it. But it doesn’t matter. I can’t do relationships. I tried and they were all sorts of fucked up. I’m not even sure I would know a functional relationship if it bit me in the ass. I’m not even sure functional rela
tionships exist.”

  “I don’t think I have ever met a woman more cynical than me.”

  Megan smiled as if she had been complimented. “I am also better educated and a better runner, if we are keeping score. I like this game.”

  “Being more cynical is not a good thing.”

  “Says who? You sound like a sore loser.”

  James held up his hands in exasperation. He went to the freezer and came back with a carton of mint chip ice cream. Megan had not had ice cream in months. She had put some in her cart on her last shopping trip but Ben reminded her that the camera added 10lbs and she had promptly put it back.

  “None for me. Thanks.”

  “If you tell me you are watching your weight, I’ll lose all respect for you,” James said as he took out two bowls and laid them on the counter, the counter where they had first had sex.

  “And if I told you I was trying to be healthy?”

  “I would call you on your bullshit. You ran seven miles today. You’re healthy, woman. You have a lovely big ass I like to grab onto, but you are as healthy as they come. Two scoops or three?” He did not wait for her to respond before he started dishing out ice cream.

  “I can’t believe you just said I had a fat ass.” She felt simultaneously insulted and complimented.

  James finished serving up one bowl and then started on the next. “And I can’t believe your take away from that comment is that I think you have a fat ass. I think it perfect; high and soft and round. Every time I see it I want to get you on all fours so I can hold onto it as I ride you. This morning the reason it took me so long to catch up with you was that it’s surprisingly difficult to run with an erection. But you heard ‘fat ass’. Women…” he sighed as he sat the bowl in front of her.

  A hot flush crept over her. “Are you forgetting I read the papers? Your usual type is emaciated bottle blondes.”

  “Another thing you have taught me, Megan. Turns out I prefer mouthy DA’s with nice big asses. Who knew? Want chocolate sauce?”

  She nodded. Her mouth was suddenly dry. What she really wanted was for James to lift her up and take her on the counter again.

  James smiled wickedly as he squeezed sauce onto her ice cream. It was like he was reading her mind again. “I’m going to let you in on a secret. Real men don’t care about cellulite or wobbly bits or any of the other bullshit women seem to think we care about. When a woman is naked under a man, the only thing he cares about is fucking her hard. So enjoy your ice cream.”

  Her gaze flew to the counter, mere feet away.

  James smiled as he realised what she was thinking. “Not tonight. You’re one of the few women whose company I enjoy as much outside the bedroom as in so I’m not going to fuck it up. Just give me one night of chat and then tomorrow I’ll fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk properly. Deal?”

  Megan laughed. A real laugh. She hated to admit it, but she enjoyed his company too. “Deal. But first I need to call Ben and ask him to record Jeopardy. It’s my thing, don’t judge me. I never miss it, or any court drama. I like watching and shouting objection at the screen every time one of the characters does something preposterous.”

  “Jeopardy, huh? I’ve never seen it.”

  Megan shook her head. “How can you not have seen Jeopardy? It’s only the best game show in the history of television. It’s my happy place. Well, the bottom of a bottle of red wine is number one but number two is definitely Jeopardy.”

  “You’re very cute when you’re animated. Must be some show.” The way James looked at her, told her he was telling the truth. His gaze was all over her, marking her, a testament to how desirable he found her.

  Megan’s flesh warmed at his words. Her breath hitched in her throat. “I thought you said I was cute when I am shocked.”

  James leaned into her. Inches from her he whispered, “Turns out you’re cute a lot of the time.” His lips were nearly on hers. The faint scent of mint and chocolate clung to him. She breathed in deeply, inviting him to kiss her. Her eyes closed.

  But his lips never found her. “Watch it here.”

  Megan’s eyes flew open as he reached past her and then righted himself suddenly as he presented her with a remote control.

  Megan managed to suppress the disappointed groan she felt forming deep within. “I didn’t know you had a television. I didn’t see it.”

  A wicked smile formed on his full mouth. “I have one in here.” He pointed to a small TV on the counter. “And one in my bedroom. I think it speaks volumes to my abilities that you didn’t notice.”

  The heat continued to spread over her body, pooling at her core with a throbbing intensity. He did not know how right he was. When he was close to her, the world was blocked out; all she could focus on was the magnetic pull between them. The force was enough for her to forget herself, who she was and who she was supposed to be.

  The rest of the evening was spent chatting and laughing and beating James thoroughly at Jeopardy. In his defence he was not accustomed to the practice of phrasing the answer as a question, so he lost points even when he knew the answer.

  Megan could not remember laughing or smiling so much in her life. Her cheeks ached from it. James told her stories about his childhood in Australia and asked her about herself. He never asked her anything about her childhood; instead he asked her her opinion on everything from international politics to celebrity gossip.

  Several times during the night she had to resist the urge to kiss him. There were few things in life she wanted more but tonight wasn’t about sex. She had no idea what it was about but she was enjoying it. She was enjoying just being with James.

  Sometime around eleven they went to bed. Neither of them wanted to go to sleep, both realising that the night was special and not likely to happen again.

  “Left side or right?” James asked as they stood at the foot of the bed.

  Megan shrugged her shoulders. She had never shared a bed with anyone other than Ben on occasion. “Which one do you usually take?”

  “The middle.”

  Megan eyed him dubiously. The bed was large but not nearly large enough to accommodate 6’4” of well-muscled man in the middle and still leave room for her. “What about when you have a guest?”

  “The middle, but with her under me.” He smiled.

  Megan gave his midsection a soft swipe as she returned his smile. “I don’t need tales of your exploits, man-whore. I’ll take the left.” She picked the side closest to the bathroom. She was usually up once a night.

  “Do you have a shirt I can borrow to sleep in?” she asked.

  James opened a drawer and tossed her a soft cotton shirt. She took off her clothes and slipped it over her head before she sat down on the side of the bed to take off her socks.

  “Do you mind if I sleep naked? I could keep my boxers on if it makes you uncomfortable.”

  Megan laughed. “I’ve had your penis in my mouth. I’m past feeling uncomfortable with your body.”

  A lecherous look washed over James’ dark features. “In that case, get naked, woman. If we’re doing the whole sleepover thing, I want a proper experience. God only knows when I’ll find another woman I actually want to wake up next to.”

  Before she could answer, he was above her, pulling off her shirt. He threw it to the floor and then leaned down. She thought he was going to kiss her but he just pressed his lips against her temple in a chaste peck, something she would reserve for grandmothers.

  “Night, Megan. Sleep well, because tomorrow I am going to kick your ass on our run.”

  She let out a frustrated sigh.

  As if reading her mind again, he added, “And tomorrow night you are going to meet me in my hotel and I am going to fuck you until you scream my name loud enough to make the people in the next room complain.”

  She sighed again, eager to get started on that now but he was right, if they had sex she would want to leave. And tonight there was no place she wanted to be more than curled in beside James.
“Good night, James.”

  “Night, my little wombat.”

  James pulled back the duvet and she slid underneath it before he did the same. She lay on her side, James behind her, his body pressed against hers, holding her. She closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. His body was perfect, they fitted together seamlessly. When they were standing, their height difference made it awkward, but lying in bed, they felt like they were made for each other.

  A few minutes later Megan said, “I thought sex was off the table.” His cock was pressed hard against her back.

  “It is.”

  “Your penis didn’t get the memo.”

  “Of course my cock is hard. You’re in my bed. I would have to be dead not to have an erection. Go to sleep.”

  “What happened to your not wanting to waste an erection policy?” That policy was sounding brilliant at the moment, her self-control melted away the moment she felt his skin on hers. Megan pushed herself up the bed so she could feel his length lower until it was pressed against the bottom of her butt cheek. She hitched her leg up and arched her back until he slid lower still. She heard his breath catch in his throat and his body tense, his cock involuntarily jerking against her. She arched her back further until he was positioned at the entrance of her body.

  She was wet and ready for him. It would only take the slightest of movements for him to be inside her.

  “Turns out I throw out all the rules with you. Now go to sleep.” James’ voice was a ragged rasp, full of desire and frustration.

  “I for one liked that policy. As far as policies go, it was a good one.”

  “Didn’t ask your opinion.”

  “Really? I could have sworn you did.”

  “Good night, Megan. Stop moving or it’ll never go away.”

  “One of us better stay up and watch it then. Apparently an erection that lasts more than four hours requires medical attention,” she said in the most serious tone she could muster. She should not be enjoying his obvious discomfort, but she did. And she respected his willpower; she had misplaced hers.