Stay

by B. A. Wolfe

  He smirked. “It went great, actually.”

  “Thank God!” I said, relieved. “What’s the new job?” His lips parted and before he could talk I intervened. “I’m sorry. I’m asking too many questions, aren’t I? I tend to do that.”

  “Not at all. I like the questions. How else are you supposed to get answers?”

  I smiled, delighted that my intrusive self wasn’t getting me in trouble, as it often did.

  He relaxed into his seat. “How about we play a little game instead?”

  My heart jolted, and before I knew it, my palms clammed and the butterflies ceased. “A game . . .” I repeated the word. I didn’t play games, not anymore, not since . . . Jason. The last game I played, my question went unanswered. Jason forfeited. My throat grew tight, my breathing quickened and I could tell I was in a bad place.

  His eyes widened and he reached to the middle of the table. “You look terrified. I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

  Terrified? I was. I didn’t realize I displayed it across my face, but it didn’t surprise me that he could sense it. The poor guy had to think I was crazy. Give it a rest, Cassandra. Breathe. I did as I told myself and refocused. It would be okay. I had to get past it at some point, right? “I’m okay.”

  “Are you sure?” His eyes conveyed apprehension as he stared at me.

  I smiled, assuring him I was. “Yes. I’m sorry. You were saying something about a game?” My voice was strong, masking the last bit of nerves floating in my system.

  “If you’re sure.” His eyes indicated that it was more a question than a statement.

  I nodded politely.

  “It’s called Five for Five,” he stated, matter of fact.

  I leaned back in my seat, trying to relax further. “How does that game go?”

  His hand gestured back and forth between us as he spoke. “First, I ask five questions, then you ask five, and so forth. Give and take. Twenty questions is too one-sided.” His megawatt smile never left. And there I was, staring at it again.

  I tilted my head. “Give and take, huh?” I mulled it over and then nodded. “I like that. Go for it.”

  “Ladies first.” His eyes lit up, just like his smile.

  “What’s the new job?” I asked, feeling a surge of excitement as I kept my eyes trained on him. See, you can do this, Cassandra.

  He rested his forearms on the table and clasped his hands together. “I’m a teacher and football coach for Rolling Hills High School in Denver.”

  Wouldn’t have pegged him for a teacher; I was intrigued. “What do you teach? And that’s question number two by the way.” I smirked. I couldn’t deny Aidan made it easy to play along.

  “English, but I also tutor at the Boys and Girls Club in Denver and coach Little League in the summer.”

  “I don’t even know what to say.” My voice shied away a little. “You’re impressive.” He seemed to have his life together far more than I did.

  He scanned the table before answering with a weighted smile. “Impressive? Far from it.” His shoulders dropped. “I’m just doing what someone told me I should be.” He fidgeted with his half-full glass before piercing his hazel eyes into mine. “Boyfriend?”

  And there went my racing heart, taking laps inside my chest. My dating life was zero, zip, zilch these days. But being here with Aidan, who made it easy to talk to, had me questioning why I was so hesitant about dating again.

  “No boyfriend, not for a while.” I could only think of Jason. He was the last guy my lips had touched, aside from smothering my baby boy in kisses. Would everything always lead back to Jason? I had to fight the strings that pulled tight on my heart each time I thought of him or I’d be back at square one.

  “It’s been a while for me too.” His voice grew quiet.

  What? How was he single? And then my mind triggered . . . “Don’t think I didn’t notice.”

  “What?” The look on his face made him appear like a small child who’d just been caught in a huge lie. It was quite comical.

  I shrugged nonchalantly. “You asked me a question when I wasn’t finished with my five yet.”

  His eyes closed for a second and he released a deep breath. “You caught me. I couldn’t help myself. Continue,” he said.

  A grin splayed across my face as I asked, “Where do you live?”

  He nudged his head toward the right. “A few blocks away. There’s just something about Denver I can’t seem to stay away from. Your turn, why Denver?”

  “Well, it’s not nearly as impressive as your story, but I’m taking college classes again. At Metro this time, though. It’s easier to commute to class when I live near the campus.”

  His eyebrows narrowed. “Again?”

  “Yeah.” I sighed, glancing down at the sleek wooden floor before returning my gaze to him. “It’s a long story.”

  He moved his empty tea glass to the side. “One I hope I get the chance to hear.”

  I studied his smooth jaw, wondering if it felt as soft as it looked. My eyes returned to his. “I’d like that.” I bit my lip, stunned at my response. I wanted to see him again, though. Every part of me did, but then the guilt returned. My son. Would he run the minute he found out? Could I handle that?

  “Good.” He winked. “Let’s get you back to your friend. I could sit here and talk to you all night, Cassandra, but I don’t want to keep you from your dinner.”

  The sound of my name caught my attention. “I don’t think I ever told you my name?” I asked, puzzled as I tried to remember.

  “You did. Do you really think you’d be out with a guy without giving him your name?” A grin spread across his face as he reached for my hand and helped me off the stool. I didn’t answer, but I didn’t have to. He was right. Who would do that? My hand found his all too easily as he guided us back to my table.

  “Thanks for letting me steal your friend.” He gave a friendly smile to Mel. “Cassandra, it was a pleasure to see you. I mean meet you.”

  I sat in my chair as he rested one palm on the table and the other on the back of my chair. He slowly leaned down by my ear. “I can’t even tell you how good it was to run into you. You’ve made me one happy man tonight.” His whisper sent shivers across every inch of my body. He sauntered back to his friends before I had the chance to thank him for the drink.

  “Holy shit, he’s gorgeous. Please tell me he whispered sweet nothings into your ear just now?”

  She stole the words right out of my mouth. “He did. He’s pretty amazing, Mel. So naturally, there has to be something wrong with him, right?” I asked, nervous that I was all too right.

  “Don’t think like that just because you haven’t met someone like him before.” Sternness laced her words, yet she nearly vibrated with excitement as she asked, “Did he give you his number?”

  I dropped my gaze and fingered my napkin. “No, and I don’t know if I’m ready for that. Not to mention, he’s gorgeous and he could have any girl in here, including you. What would he want with me?”

  Before I could say another word our waitress returned with two iced teas, setting them down in front of us. I scrunched my face and looked at her. “We didn’t order these.”

  She nodded toward the bar. “The gentleman over there did. He also wanted me to give you this.” She handed me a bar napkin, and then left.

  “What does it say?” Mel begged, leaning into the table and pushing her plate aside.

  “It says, Thanks, Sweet Tea, for the best twenty minutes of my life.” My cheeks hurt from how hard I was smiling. A ten-digit number scribbled on the bottom caught my eye, along with another note that read, In case you want to finish our game. My heart raced. I re-read the chicken scratch on the napkin over and over until I gave in to the urge to peek over my shoulder.

  His pearly whites flashed as I caught his gaze. I wasn’t even ashamed for having stolen a glance. I smiled back and returned my attention to the table. I hadn’t felt this tingling sensation in what felt like a long time. My chest ach
ed for remembering Jason, but I couldn’t deny I was glad the tingles were back. To know my heart wasn’t forever broken and shattered to pieces. They were now being welded together one at a time. It would take patience until it was whole again, but I had to believe someday, somehow, it would be.

  “Yup. I’m sold.” Mel leaned back in her seat. “You’ll be calling him if I have to force you.”

  “It might be too soon. I’ll think about it, okay?” I smoothed my hands over my thighs. “Not to mention, I’ll be busy packing and getting ready to leave. I don’t have time to date this week.”

  “Just so you know, a call isn’t a date.” She mimicked my tone. “And what’s with the iced tea?”

  I stared hard at her. “The coffee shop? The incident? Mr. Rub-a-Dub-Dub?”

  She tipped her head back and chuckled. “Ohhhh. His point value in my book is off the charts,” she said, chuckling. “Whoa. Stop sipping your tea. You said you’re getting ready to leave?” The look in her eyes made me immediately regret saying anything.

  I released the straw from my lips. “I didn’t think you’d want to go. Moose invited me and said I needed to go see the Bradleys. It’s the one-year anniversary of Jason’s passing and they’re having a special gathering.” I felt bad not telling her, I really did, but I honestly didn’t think with her job and her schedule she’d have time to go.

  She shook her head at me like a mother to a child. “Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

  “It isn’t like I wouldn’t want you there, I just didn’t think about it. It’s been hectic these days. I’m sorry if I didn’t think of you the minute I scheduled this.” I didn’t mean to get angry, but we were adults. My life couldn’t be Melanie the whole time anymore.

  “Wow.” Her gaze dropped to the partially empty plate in front of her. “Yet Moose knew you were going?”

  I slapped my napkin on the table. “Yes. He’s the one who invited me and told me to call Trish and Bart.” My emotions were on edge as the anniversary date approached and I was tired, to say the least.

  She gave me a tight-lipped smile. “Have fun then, I guess.”

  I sighed. “I’m sorry. I should’ve asked. I want you there. Will you please come?” I took the adult road and apologized first. I caused this tiff, and I needed to fix it.

  She looked at me while shoving her food around with her fork. “I don’t want a pity invite.”

  “This isn’t out of pity, it’s out of I forgot and I’m sorry. So, will you please join us?”

  She released a deep breath. “I’m sorry too. I got jealous. I’m your best friend and I should know what’s going on in your life. I should know your schedule.”

  “I don’t even know my schedule. My brain is so clouded with everything under the sun that most days I forget to shower. Like right now, I can’t honestly remember if I put deodorant on.”

  Mel pulled back. “That’s disturbing.”

  “No, disturbing is when you have to wear your underwear inside out because you forgot to do laundry. And yes, it’s happened.”

  She chuckled and mouthed the words I love you. I smiled and mouthed them back. She still didn’t answer whether she was joining me or not, but at least that tiff was over. They regrettably were happening more frequently these days. I didn’t know why, though, but part of me tried to avoid figuring it out. She was my best friend, who would want to admit to having problems?

  Dan

  What was I doing? What the fuck was I doing? My brother’s girl, the one he loved—and asked me to look after—was all I could think about. Her plump lips that parted when she smiled, her perfect, heart-shaped face, and those goddamn hazel eyes that beamed when she grinned. Everything about her raged through every vein in my body. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I tried to stay away and focus on the group I came with and their conversation, but I stole a glance at her every five minutes. I was a glutton for punishment.

  Each time I looked in her direction the angel on my shoulder shook his disappointed finger at me. So what’d I do? I looked again. My eyes wouldn’t stop. Then she came up to me. The pupils in her eyes swallowed me whole when our eyes connected, and I knew she felt it. It was all I could do to not stop her from walking away. And then, like a dumbass begging for trouble, I waited. I waited for her to come back and when she did, I opened my damn mouth and the words just flowed. They came out so effortlessly around her.

  It took all I had in me not to reach out, hold her, and tell her who I was. I didn’t though, because I had one job to do. My dumb ass even called her by name when she technically never gave it to me. My recovery skills impressed even me. Thank God she went with it.

  It was chance that we ran into each other like we did. I wished I were creative enough to plan that, but not even a higher power could be that awesome. Or maybe, in fact, it was Jase’s plan after all. The only excuse I gave myself to talk to her and follow her around that bar like a hound dog was to make sure she was okay. So, I did what I had to do.

  And she was.

  I’d known for a while that she was doing fine, but seeing her in person was a whole other ball game. She looked every bit better than the first time I saw her, when my arms wrapped around her trembling body. Nothing could have prepared me for the twenty minutes I had with her, though.

  Nothing.

  “You okay, man?” Carter’s voice brought me out of my thoughts. He propped a hand on my shoulder as we leaned against the bar. “Better question is . . . Who’s the hottie you were just talking to?”

  “She’s off limits. Don’t even think about it.” I shrugged his hand off. Carter loved the ladies. The word horndog didn’t even do him justice. Normally, I’d play along and be the guy who checked out a few leggy chicks with him. Admiring the view as we bet on who could get the first glance. But not tonight. Not this one. She was far too special for any of our dickhead antics, especially his. Carter was a good guy, but him saying the word ‘hottie’ and knowing it was directed toward Cassandra, made my blood pump. She wasn’t mine, but she sure as shit wouldn’t be his. And there I went again, thinking I had a claim to her. Goddamn it.

  “What the hell, dude? What’s gotten into you?” He raised his hands as he questioned me.

  I peeled the rest of the label off my beer bottle, anxiously ripping it into tiny bits as I processed the night. “I just did something I probably shouldn’t have.”

  “Why? Who is she?”

  “Forbidden fruit.” I took the last swig of my beer, pulled a twenty out, and tossed it on the bar. “I’m out, man. I can’t be in here right now.”

  “Uh, okay. See you tomorrow at work.” He seemed dumbfounded, but he’d get over it.

  I shoved my hands into my pockets and headed home, going over the whole night repeatedly in my head. First, I saw her at the coffee shop, and then the bar. I couldn’t even fathom the coincidence of it all. I’d done so well checking on her without actual contact other than the source I had. Sooner or later I knew we’d meet, but the two run-ins we had were too much. I didn’t realize the connection I felt for her would pull me so hard.

  I released a loud sigh, cursing the world as I exhaled.

  The worst part? Nothing could’ve stopped me at the end from letting my heart do what it did. First, the whisper that ran a shiver down her partially bare back in the gorgeous blue dress she wore, then the iced tea and the napkin with my phone number.

  I. Was. Going. To. HELL.

  “Damn it, Jase. Why would you ask me to look after her?” But I knew why, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it as his letter replayed over and over in my head.

  As much as I want it to be me with her, I couldn’t think of a better man to watch over her than you. I know her. She’ll be pissed at you, and she’ll hate you for going behind her back and doing this. She’ll come around, though, and when she does, you’ll know it. Her hazel eyes will be light and soft, and her smile will never leave her face. She might not forgive you right away, but I know you, brother. You won’t give up.


  I don’t know where she’ll be. We were supposed to go back to college together, but clearly, that isn’t happening if you’re reading this letter and I’m gone. Find her, watch over her, take care of her, and be there for her when I couldn’t be.

  I snapped my thoughts from the letter and back to reality. What if she called? What if the devil who told me to give her my number was right and she called?

  I told myself I was giving her a way to reach me in case she ever needed anything. I was already on the sidelines, but now I just put myself on the playing field. I ran my fingers through my hair and shook my head. “Fucking hell!”

  There was no lying, I’d wanted to reach out to her for a long time, but I remembered what Jase said in his letter. She’d be pissed knowing I went behind her back, and I couldn’t live with her being mad at me. Nothing in me could handle that. She’d already been through enough. Telling her that I already knew her or that I’d been keeping tabs on her would not be taken kindly. She would be seriously pissed. Maybe even cut me out of her life.

  On the one hand, I’d been going behind her back, honoring my brother’s last wishes. But I’d held that girl in my arms and consoled her before I even knew of his wishes. Something had struck the moment our eyes collided. I knew it did. And then running into her and getting caught up in her questions and making a move. I was on a collision course with disaster. Someone’s heart was bound to break. If she found out, she’d hate me and push me away. If she didn’t find out, I’d be living with a lie the size of planet Earth. None of it mattered, though; my mind was made up. If she called, I’d come clean. I’d have to let her know I was Jase’s brother.

  I unlocked my door, set the keys on the table, and flicked on the lights in the living room. I’d hoped the walk home would help clear my head, but it hadn’t. I needed more. I went to my closet, changed into a pair of running shorts and a hoodie, and slipped on my Nikes. Pulling the hood over my head, I left my apartment. The sun began to set as I peered down the vacant street. I started slow and then began jogging down the sidewalk, focusing on counting my breaths—anything but the image of her.