by Mann, Marni
And I didn’t really think it was my choice to make.
If she was the woman he was referring to, and she was willing to travel to him—and he was willing to take her in—then it wasn’t fair for me to keep her away from him.
My head was pounding now. “All right,” I said, rubbing my temples. “I’ll talk to him. That’s all I can do.”
She seemed grateful…as much as someone like Victoria could be, at least. “That’s all I’m asking for.”
I pushed off the couch, dropped my glass on the table and took several steps toward the door. I couldn’t believe what I’d just agreed to. “And how will I get in touch with you…Tori?” At least I didn’t have to paint her anything now.
“You won’t,” she said. “I’ll reach you.”
***
When I got back to the apartment, I went straight into the studio and told Cameron about my meeting. He was genuinely surprised by the effort Victoria had put in to see me, how she’d risked being caught when she booked the hotel and traveled in and out of the lobby, and even more so when she maneuvered her way through town while the police were still actively searching for her.
“Do you think Jameson knows who she is?” he asked. He had set down his brush as soon as I had entered, but now his arms crossed, and his hand cupped his chin.
I shook my head. “She wouldn’t reveal herself to him. It would be too risky.”
“What if she didn’t have to? What if he was a member of the mansion?”
I hadn’t thought of it. “I’m not worried about that right now.”
“I amI’ll rip that fucker’s head off if”
“Cameron,” I interrupted. “This isn’t about Jameson; it’s about my dad.”
He calmed down a bit. “You’re right.”
“I can’t tell if she’s just taking advantage of him…using him. Playing with his emotions.”
His hands moved to my shoulders. “You’re wondering if you should really call him?”
I nodded. “I have to know, though. If she’s the one he’s been talking about having feelings for in his letter, then…I don’t know. He should make the choice himself.”
“Are you trying to protect him, or are you trying to keep from getting in between them?”
“I don’t know…both, maybe?” I thought again about what his letter had said. “Something in me believes everything she said, but another part of me is convinced that every word that came out of her mouth was a lie. I just can’t figure out why she’d go to the trouble of dragging me into it. And even if she was telling the truth, are her motives even justifiable? Don’t they both have more to worry about than love at this point?”
His fingers reached forward and he lifted my chin so I looked into his eyes. “I don’t think it’s your job to protect him. He’s a grown man; let him make that decision.”
“He’ll be harboring a fugitive while living his secret life.” It sounded like the plot of a terrible movie.
“Again,” he said, “that’s up to him, not you. I tend to believe she would follow us to Europe anyway. I’ve dealt with women like her before. She’s not going to buy just any excuse.”
I gripped my fingers around his. “Do you think she was watching at the club when you gave me the tickets?”
“She sounds like a devious bitch. I wouldn’t put anything past her. However she does it, she’s able to get any information about you that she wants.”
He was right. “But how would she know that I was still in touch with my father?”
“Maybe she didn’t. Maybe you answered that for her.”
I had my father’s phone in my lap, waiting for me to make the decision.
His hand went to my leg and squeezed. “Call him. At least tell him what she said, and that you’ve been in contact with her. He should at least know that much.”
He was right—again. I picked up the phone and hit the send button on the only number this cell had ever dialed.
He answered after the second ring. “Is everything all right?”
“Yes,” I said. “Everything is fine. I’m calling because I have a question.”
“Of course.”
I knew there was no reason to dance around what I wanted to say. My father didn’t want fluffy and apologetic; he wanted blunt and straight to the point. There was really no reason not to give him that.
“In one of your letters, you said that there are people in your life who you wished you’d expressed your feelings to. Is Victoria one of those people?”
There was silence on the other end, then a deep sigh. I knew this was a personal question, probably the most personal I had asked so far. Maybe it wasn’t fair to expect him to answer it.
“Charlie, why would you ask me something like that?”
Cameron moved a few inches closer, leaning his head down to mine to try to hear my father’s response.
I hesitated. “Because…I went to see her today. I thought I was meeting a client, but it was Victoria instead. She told me she’s in love with you. She wants to be with you…” My voice trailed off. I wasn’t sure how I felt saying these things to him and having them be about her.
He sighed again, but this time it sounded like it pained him to breathe, like he’d finally heard the one thing he’d been holding his breath for. Now, he let it all out.
“It may sound odd to you, all things considered…but I love her, too.”
“You…do?”
“Yes. I have for quite a while.”
Cameron’s eyes asked the question, and I nodded to confirm my father’s answer. “What does that even mean?”
“It means…it’s complicated.” That much, I knew. “Simple answer: I want to be with her.”
It wasn’t sinking in. “Are you sure we’re talking about the same person—Victoria? The woman who had interviewed me to work at the mansion, the one who was ready to slice me open and have my organs removed…and sold to whoever had the most money in his pocket at the time?” I’d come a long way from hardly being able to say it out loud. I could now give it as much bitterness and anger as it deserved.
“One and the same, Charlie.”
My mouth opened, but no words came out. Cameron rubbed my cheeks and squeezed my hand, trying to get me to talk. I had nothing.
“I don’t expect you to understand,” he said.
“Good. Because I don’t.”
“Did she say anything else?”
I didn’t want to get into the whole conversation. “She wants to meet you…in Italy. While Cameron and I are there.
“That sounds wonderful.”
I hardly agreed. He knew the things she had done to me. Maybe he felt as though he was just as guilty for everything he had done. But this was his decision, not mine.
“Okay.” My tone was as cold as my blood.
“I’ll see you next week, then?”
“Next week.”
“And Victoria, too?”
“Good-bye.”
I hung up before I could say anything else.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
I SAVORED DETAIL. I INHALED IT, allowed it to simmer. It gathered within me and became part of my reality. I could recall even the most precise characteristics from any place I’d ever been, from the exact color of the landscape, to the texture of the figures before me, to the amount of light that was shining over the scenery. I was able to duplicate those images almost identically once my paintbrush rested down on a canvas. It was a talent I’d always had. As a kid, I’d believed it was a curse; there were moments so dark, so damaging to hold onto, I wanted to obliterate them from my memory. I couldn’t. My mind wouldn’t let them go. But there were moments that held details so beautiful, so striking and divine, I had difficulty breathing when I thought about them afterward.
The view I had when leaning against the edge of the patio in our Italian villa was one of those moments.
Cameron stood behind me, his arms wrapped around my stomach as we faced the water. We’d only arrived minu
tes before, but we’d dropped our luggage on the bed and rushed outside immediately. The villa sat on what looked to be a mountain of stone, balanced at the tip of a cliff. The vast Mediterranean spread out below. The Atlantic was the only ocean I had ever seen, but this wasn’t anything like that brisk, salty current, with its blue-black depths and its endless chill. This was a mix of calypso and cerulean and ultramarine and aqua. In certain spots there were touches of bluegrass and sea foam. There was every blue imaginable, all captive in one place. And it extended through my entire line of vision, appearing as though the sky and water merged at the horizon.
I wanted to dip my brush in it and paint the world I saw from our balcony.
The hues weren’t the only difference. The smell of it was an actual scent, nothing like the city odor blending with the tang of the sea that I’d grown accustomed to in Boston. It wafted toward me with a hint of freshly-baked bread, a clean warmth from the heat of the sun, notes that spoke of seafood and jasmine and clay. It was a combination I’d never smelled before: the perfume of a perfect moment in a perfect place. As it slowly filled my lungs, my entire body began to relax. Cameron did the same. We both reclined into the metal gate that bordered the balcony.
“Do you want to go for a swim?” he asked. “I’m not sure I can wait much longer to see you in that water.”
“Really?”
“What—you don’t want to swim with me?” he asked.
I wasn’t a strong swimmer; I had only been in the ocean a few times, and when I went in pools, I stayed in the shallow end. But it wasn’t that I didn’t want to feel the water against me, it was just that I wanted to feel Cameron against me first—here, in our newfound paradise. And for that to happen, we needed a little more privacy than the inlet below could offer us.
I turned in his grasp, wrapping my arms over his shoulders and crossing them behind his head. “How about we go in the pool first?”
He pushed his chest even tighter against me. “You have something you want to do in that water…don’t you?”
I nodded, and his teeth automatically bit down into my bottom lip. We were dressed for Boston weather and airplane temperatures; we weren’t prepared for Mediterranean heat. So when he finally freed my mouth, I reached for the hem of his long-sleeved shirt, lifting the tight cotton over his head. Then I unbuckled his jeans. There wasn’t much space between our villa and the neighboring villas on each side. Shrubbery lined the homes and lent a little privacy. Bushes may have prevented our neighbors from peering in, but it wasn’t going to stop them from hearing me.
Once he was naked, he began to tear at my clothes, his hands caressing each piece of skin as it was revealed. He left the items where they landed and took my hand, leading me to the small pool that was on the other side of the patio. I entered first, wading into the deepest section. It only came up to my neck. The water wasn’t much cooler than the air, but it offered a little relief…more importantly, it heightened the tingles that were pulsing through my core. Cameron swam toward me, his face completely submerged. I waited for his fingers to reach me, allowing my senses to open and take everything in: the intensity of these new smells; the sun licking its way across my chest and shoulders, leaving sweat in its wake; the colors of the water as I peeked over the pool’s edge; the taste of the air.
“Now what was it that you wanted to do to me?” His body pressed against mine at the same time his mouth hovered over my lips. I could feel the warmth from both.
“I wanted...” I whispered, my fingers framing his face, “…to say thank you.”
The smile that spread over his mouth also hit his eyes. “Baby, this is just the beginning of what I’m going to do for you.”
“I don’t know if I need any more.”
“You may not, but that’s not going to stop me from giving it to you.”
“What did I do to deserve you?”
His hands lifted to my ribs, his thumbs rubbing the flesh that outlined my breasts. “You gave in to me…finally.”
I laughed. “That happened a long time ago.”
“Not for your heart. You were keeping some of that to yourself.” One of his hands dropped and reached for one of mine, bringing my fingers up to his mouth. He kissed each one and when he reached my ring finger, he paused. “We’re anything but traditional, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to give that to you, too.”
My brows rose.
“Save this finger for me,” he said softly, his breath wrapping around my skin at the same time his lips were.
“I wasn’t going to give it to anyone else.”
“I hope not—or any other part of you, for that matter. I want it. All of it…all of youforever.”
I didn’t try to hide my smile or mask the tone in my voice. “Forever?”
He nodded. “Can you give me that?”
I couldn’t stop the images that suddenly flashed in my head. Scenes of Emma and the tender memories we had shared before I lost her. Snapshots of Dallas and the Professor, both believing in me when I felt like no one in the world even cared that I existed. Pictures of Cameron and all of our firsts. They may have seemed different on the surface, but they all had one thing in common: I hadn’t wanted any of them to end. I wanted to let them blanket me, to let the emotions that I had felt during those times swirl within me. This moment was like those. It was a vista, a panorama. The future spread out before us, above us, below us. I wanted it to go on forever. I didn’t know what was going to happen during the rest of our trip, how I would feel when I was finally reunited with my father, how things would end up for him and that woman he’d fallen in love with. But I knew how I felt right now. I felt happytruly and fully and completely.
And finally.
It was the strongest emotion that had ever coursed through me.
“Can you give me forever, Charlie?” he asked again.
I smiled and kissed him. He tasted like sky. “How could I not?”
His lips pressed against mine. It wasn’t the type of kiss that was a gateway to something more sexual. It was delicate and loving and matched the tenderness with which he held me in his arms. Several months ago it wouldn’t have been enough. But now, it was everything. I had the only man I desired completely naked in front of me, his hardness accessible for me to take as I wished, his mouth easily open to more passionate, feral impulses. None of that mattered at the moment.
I felt content right where I was.
And still...
I couldn’t get Victoria out of my head. We’d be meeting her soon. I knew I didn’t trust her, and I knew I didn’t want my father to be with her. It was gnawing at me beneath my bliss.
She’d reached out again to see if the plans were in motion. I told her he was willing to meet her in Italy. I didn’t say any more than that; I didn’t tell her that he’d said he loved her, too, or that he wanted to be with her. He needed to be the one to say those things. I simply gave her the address that Cameron had written down for me and she agreed to meet us there. Knowing what a slippery bitch she was, I didn’t even stop to question how she would elude the police to travel overseas. I imagined private jets and fake passports and all other kinds of deception. She was a master of this game, and during her time in the mansion, she’d worked side by side with another master: my father.
Maybe they really were made for each other.
***
My feet stepped along the cobblestone walk until we reached the small table and the two chairs that had been reserved for us. We were in an open square between two buildings with slightly-antiqued facades. Their windows didn’t hold any glass; the deep green shutters were ajar allowing the fresh air to enter their apartments. Clothes hung from lines just outside those shutters, and women and children could be seen inside the units. Their smiles met my eyes. Fresh focaccia bread and coffee met my nose. Cameron’s hand met my touch.
“I’m experiencing this trip through your eyes.” He brushed a piece of hair off my face and tucked it behind my ear. “I’ve been h
ere before, but watching your expression, the way each sight shines over your face, it almost feels like I’m seeing it all for the first time again.”
My stare lowered and fell to his lips. “I can’t get enough.”
“I feel the same way about you.”
Before I had a chance to respond, a waiter came to our table. His accent was thick and sensual. He had dark stubble on his face and bits of hair sprouted from the collar of his shirt. He wasn’t as tall as Cameron, but his skin was just as dark, and he had a sleek sexiness to him. So did the women who passed our chairs; their tall, slender figures and long hair swung back and forth almost at the same pace as their hips.
Cameron ordered a bottle of red and several unfamiliar items from the menu. Then he reached across the table again and clasped my hands in his as the waiter departed. “I’m glad I have you to myself for a few days before your father arrives…in whatever water you feel most comfortable.”
He was talking about the session we’d had in the shower right before we’d left for the restaurant. I hadn’t been able to get in the mood while we’d been in the pool, but he had made it impossible for me to deny him once we made our way into the bathroom. We needed more of this. We weren’t sure yet if my father would be staying with us or in a place of his own. He hadn’t really confirmed that. It would all be based on his safety. But I felt the same as Cameron: we needed some time alone during this trip.
“We won’t let anything—and I mean anything—spoil the romance,” I said. “Agreed?”
He smiled. “Agreed.”
“I’m so happy he wanted to meet us, though. I was afraid I’d never see him again.” Even with my mixed feelings about him and Victoria, I still longed to see my father.
“Do you think he’ll ever come back to the States?”
I shrugged “There hasn’t been much progress on the case. With the trial so far off and everything still up in the air, I don’t see how he could.” The thought of it didn’t make me happy, but I wasn’t going to lie to myself, or to Cameron. “He’s gone for good, I think, especially with Victoria coming here. He has no reason to come back.”
