Zombie Destruction: Love in the Age of Zombies Book Three

by James Evans

  “Sammy, what the hell are you doing? Don’t you have work to do?” Jake said with a scowl as he saw where Sammy’s gaze landed. “The tomato plants need to be trimmed. The cilantro is about to bolt because nobody has topped them lately, and I’m positive there are seedlings ready to be transplanted. Plus, we have a whole crop of lettuce and cherry tomatoes to harvest. Have you checked the TDS and PPM of the reservoirs lately?!”

  Sammy saluted him and shouted, “Aye, Aye, Cap’n!” then trundled off to find his nutrient meters. “I don’t know what it is with Sammy, but something about him rubs me the wrong way. Lee, too. I wish I’d never hired him.”

  “I know what you mean. Being around him feels like I’m scraping my fingernails down a chalkboard,” Kevin said with a shudder. “I know Lee likes to show off the girls, but somehow Sammy makes everything sound trashy. By the way, Lee offered to make lunch. She wants us to join her.”

  “Well then, you’re in for a treat!”

  “Only if Michelle doesn’t find out.”

  “That Lee made you lunch? That’s what I meant,” he laughed, clapping Kevin on the back. “What did you mean?” He laughed again. “You won’t find a better lunch anywhere. She used to be a chef for a local co-op restaurant. Anything besides lunch is a bonus,” he said, laughing heartily. “Come find me when it’s lunch time.”

  “Will do,” Kevin said. “Oh, she said to bring drinks.” Jake nodded and Kevin headed to the cloning room. He had nearly a hundred cuttings to clip and dust with cloning powder before moving them to the incubator.

  The morning went by fast. It was easy work but hot in the greenhouse. He looked forward to lunch on the beach where the breeze was cool.

  Sammy was in a good mood. He enjoyed the first night with his new plaything and looked forward to this evening. He planned to take his time. She was a sweet thing; for being in the lifestyle, she faked a pretty good innocence.

  He practically smiled as he worked. He wrote down the TDS and PPM numbers on the clipboard, not really understanding what they meant and not caring. He ducked into the bathroom and pissed into a small container, then headed for the vegetable section. He nonchalantly poured his urine into the tomato fertilizer reservoir then transplanted the seedlings as he’d been instructed. Then he headed for the cilantro.

  Pouring his urine into the water was his way of getting even with everyone in town. Whenever he saw someone eating a salad or sandwich with tomatoes, he felt a little wicked flicker of delight in his belly. They had no idea they were eating his piss.

  He was topping the cilantro when Lee came into the greenhouse. She carried a picnic basket and wore a button-down blouse, obviously sans bra.

  At first she didn’t notice Sammy, but as she told Jake she was headed to the beach, she noticed him in a corner of the greenhouse. He was whistling a tune and there was a spring in his step.

  “He sure looks happy today,” she said. “He must have gotten laid last night. Poor girl, whoever she was.” Sammy glanced up and they made eye contact. He made a point of ogling her breasts and grinned. Lee turned away in disgust. “The way he looks at me makes my skin crawl. I’m headed to the beach. Did Kevin pass the word to bring drinks? Good. Be down soon?”

  “In a little while. Make sure you keep your wits about you. Our beach isn’t as safe as the Frankfort beach.”

  “Yeah, but our beach has more Petoskey Stones,” she replied. “And I don’t get complaints from parents about sunning the girls.” She turned her back to Sammy and undid two of the buttons, giving Jake a much more revealing view. “See you in a bit!” she said with a wink.

  She walked to the landing and headed down the stairs, scanning the beach for zombies while she headed for her beach chair. It was anchored to the sand with sandbags atop the legs. She removed her blouse, put on a pair of sunglasses, and waded in the surf, looking for Petoskey Stones or other beach fossils. The waves were constantly churning the sand, turning up new stones.

  Even with her back to him, Sammy could tell she was unbuttoning her blouse. His activities over the previous day had energized him. He felt better than he’d felt in months. He glanced around the greenhouse and, sure nobody was looking, went into the empty marijuana greenhouse. He made a quick stop in the trimming/curing room, grabbed a half dozen dark green joints from the rolling machine, dropped them in his backpack, and headed outside.

  He knew where Lee was going; he’d spied on her before. When it was close enough to lunch to justify leaving, he made a circuitous route to the stairs leading to the beach in case he was being watched, then quickly descended the first dozen steps. He slowed down once he was out of sight. When he got to the spot on the platform with a view of Lee’s lounge chair, he dropped the backpack and lit a joint. Jake sure knows how to grow some killer weed, he thought, not for the first time, as he exhaled a cloud of smoke.

  Lee came into view. She was topless. Damn, she has the best titties I ever saw, he thought, some day I’m going to give them a protein splash. He felt himself getting hard. He rubbed his pecker through his pants. With one hand he held the joint, with the other he stroked himself to a full erection.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-two

  When Kevin’s stomach began to growl he finished measuring the fertilizer, poured it into the fifty-gallon reservoir, and went to find Jake. He was working with the tomatoes, adjusting the pH.

  “I don’t understand what’s making the pH level fluctuate so much. Nearly every day I have to adjust it. I’ve never seen it this unstable.”

  “Is it affecting the plants?”

  “They’re producing more foliage and less fruit,” he said. “It’s as if they’re getting too much nitrogen, but I’m using the same nutrients I’ve always used. I’ve never had this problem.” He sighed. “Are you ready for lunch?”

  “My stomach’s been growling for half an hour. Are you about ready?”

  “I need to add some phosphoric acid then check the pH again. It’ll only take a few minutes. You go ahead, I’ll catch up.”

  “Are you sure? I don’t mind waiting!”

  “Nah, go on. It’s hot in here. Go enjoy the breeze. I’ll be there in a few minutes. Besides, I need to grab my gun from the house.”

  “Your gun?!”

  “Yeah, I always take a gun to the beach just in case. Our property is fenced in, but we’ve had a few zombies walk the beach. So I always take a gun.”

  “Okay, see you there.”

  Kevin left the greenhouse, crossed the patio and paused on the top platform of the staircase. He looked out over the vista; no matter how many times he saw it he still loved the view. Dunes to the far north, Frankfort and Betsie Bay below them, the wide expanse of Lake Michigan, then nothing but forests and dunes to the south. He drew a deep breath of the cool beach breeze and headed down the steps.

  After a few minutes of looking for fossils, Lee spread her towel on the lounge chair, took a sip of tea and laid down to sun the girls. She’d found a halfway decent Petoskey Stone and was content. She couldn’t wait to show Kevin.

  Sammy watched her. He had a perfect view. Her nipples were hard and her areola were dark. He began replaying his favorite fantasy of stroking his cock between her globes. He took another hit from the joint and unzipped his pants.

  Kevin thought he smelled marijuana smoke and wondered if Lee was smoking. Then he turned a corner on the staircase and saw Sammy just as he exhaled a large puff of smoke and pulled his pecker out of his jeans.

  Kevin could see Lee on the beach beyond Sammy. She was topless on her lounge chair. You sick little voyeuristic bastard, Kevin thought. “Hey! What the hell are you doing?!” he yelled.

  Sammy jumped, startled to be interrupted. “Mind your own fucking business!” he said, stuffing his cock back into his pants.

  “What happens to Lee is my business. She’s my friend.”

  “What’s the matter, you don’t like sharing your toys? Maybe you’re just jealous. I’ve seen your wife. She’s got a little bun in the oven and proba
bly won’t give you any. If it’s even your kid. You’re probably just a limp-dicked cuckold,” Sammy taunted.

  Kevin rushed up and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. “You little shit,” he said. “If I ever hear you talk like that again, I swear I’ll—”

  “You’ll what, you little pussy!” Sammy growled. He kneed Kevin in the groin. As Kevin flinched back with a groan Sammy lashed out with his fist, hitting Kevin on the jaw. “You have no idea who you’re fucking with!”

  “What in the hell is going on here?” Jake shouted from the stairs above. He was wearing a yellow Hawaiian shirt and carried the shotgun. He’d seen Kevin grasp Sammy’s shirt, then saw Sammy strike Kevin. He raised the shotgun and pointed it at Sammy’s belly. Sammy froze.

  “Kevin, what’s going on here?” he repeated.

  Still feeling the pain from being kneed, Kevin groaned. “I caught him spying on Lee. He was jerking off while he watched her. And he was smoking weed.”

  Jake looked past Sammy and saw Lee lying topless. Jake, the hippie pacifist Sammy assumed was a pushover, got a hard look on his face and glared at Sammy, the gun even and steady. “Sammy, here’s what’s going to happen. My friend Kevin here is going to pick up your backpack and bring it to me. You’re going to stand there and enjoy the warm Michigan sunshine. Kevin’s going to tell me what’s in the backpack. What he finds will determine what happens next. Should you try to run, I’ll shoot you. You’re a pervert who was spying on my wife.”

  “You don’t have it in you,” Sammy snarled. Jake aimed the gun a few feet over Sammy’s head and fired. Sammy flinched and ducked, fear now mixed with anger on his face. In the background Lee sat up in alarm at the sound of the gun. She grabbed her shirt and put it on as she ran for the stairs.

  “Kevin, what’s in the backpack?”

  “A bottle of water, a couple of apples, a pair of panties and three joints.”

  “What color are the joints?”

  “Greenish brown. They kind of look like baby cigars.”

  “Those are mine!” Sammy yelled.

  “We roll our joints in the marijuana leaflets from the plants we grow. Just like they used to roll cigars. The only place you could have gotten them is from me.”

  “I got them from somebody else!”

  “And who exactly is this somebody else?”

  “None of your fuckin’ business!” Sammy shouted belligerently. He felt trapped. He looked trapped. He was trapped.

  “Name someone,” Jake said evenly. “Name someone you got it from. I have about 70 regular customers out of nearly 300 Frankfort adults. So you have about a 25 percent chance of guessing the name of one of my customers. Odds are you’ll get it wrong and I’ll know you’re a liar.”

  Sammy was squirming. He knew he was caught, but kept his head. “I got them from Lee! She gave them to me. I didn’t want to tell you.”

  “Why would Lee give you six joints?”

  “How the hell should I know?! She was coming on to me. Said she was going to the beach and wanted me to join her. I went along but she was acting crazy so I left and she chased me. I was trying to get away from her. That’s why I was climbing the stairs.”

  “You were climbing the stairs to get away from Lee. Really.”

  “It’s true, I swear!”

  “Who was trying to get away from me?!” Lee demanded as she came around a turn in the staircase and stared at the three men.

  “Kevin caught Sammy spying on you. He was jerking off and smoking weed he stole from us. He also had a pair of panties in his pack. Are they yours?”

  “Not unless he stole them!” Lee looked inside his pack and shook her head. “No, they’re not mine. I can’t believe this little turd was stealing from us! And spying on me!”

  “What difference does it make if I was watching you? Everybody knows you like to show off your tits!”

  “I decide who sees me topless. You were getting off on watching me in secret.”

  “Yeah, well, I don’t know what all the fuss is about anyway. You’re nothing but a stretched-out old cow.”

  Lee took two quick strides and smacked Sammy with an open-palm slap. It nearly knocked him over. Then she joined Jake and Kevin.

  “So what are we going to do with him?” she asked.

  “I don’t know,” Jake replied. “The closest jail is in Beulah, outside the fence. There’s nowhere to lock him up except the basement of the hospital, and it’s full of zombies!”

  Sammy flinched at the word basement.

  “So, what, you’re going to let him go?!” Lee asked, a note of disbelief in her voice.”

  “Yeah, I guess I am.”

  “You’re letting me go?!” Sammy asked with an even stronger note of skepticism.

  “Yes, we’re letting you go. But take some advice from me. Get out of town. Find a new home.”

  “Why the hell would I wanna do that?” Sammy demanded, already becoming his regular surly self.

  “Because I’m going into town this afternoon. I’m going to tell the town council about you, I’m going to tell your neighbors about you, I’m going to tell the security team about you, and I’m going to tell all the business owners about you. I’ll make especially sure to tell Brian and Rick at Stormcloud. Everybody in town will know you’re a pervert and a thief. Nobody will have anything to do with you. You won’t have a job or anything to barter with. You’ll be watched everywhere you go. I’m liked and respected in this town, even if I am a gentle old hippie.” Jake paused for dramatic affect. “But today, Sammy, YOU FUCKED WITH THE WRONG HIPPIE. NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY SIGHT!” Jake bellowed, a fierce look on his face. He pointed forcefully down the stairs and fired the gun again. Sammy bolted down the steps and disappeared.

  “How’s he going to get back to Frankfort?” Kevin asked.

  “I guess he’ll have to swim,” Jake said. “C’mon, let’s drive down to the dock. I want to make sure Sammy doesn’t steal my boat or any of the canoes.”

  They climbed the stairs, filling Lee in on the details. When they got to the top they went straight to the car and drove to the dock. They pulled in just as Sammy was reaching for one of the canoes. Jake got out, aimed his gun in the air and fired.

  Sammy stiffened, glanced at them, then jumped into the water of Betsie Bay. He began swimming furiously toward Frankfort. He wasn’t a strong swimmer. About a hundred feet out he stopped, tread water for a few seconds, then began swimming again, faster this time.

  “I think he just kicked off his shoes and pants,” Kevin said.

  “The water’s pretty cold,” Lee noted. “Maybe he’ll drown.”

  “We can only hope,” Kevin said.

  The radio squawked and Tony said “Jake, everything okay over there? We heard shots.” Jake let Tony know the situation and alerted him to the situation. Sammy would be coming to shore soon, likely mad as a hornet, and may not be wearing pants. Jake wore a very non-beatific hippie smirk.

  “Word’s already getting out. The security team heard what I told Tony. Many of them were at work, so other folks heard, too. Sammy’s in for an interesting reception. Let’s get in the boat.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-Three

  Kevin was right about Sammy having kicked off his shoes and pants. He was afraid he might not make it. Once he took them off he was able to swim more easily and made slow but steady progress across the bay. Just over halfway across he took off his shirt. It, too, was weighing him down and he was tiring quickly. By the time he wearily climbed up the pier ladder, several of the security team were already there, wanting to keep an eye on him. A few onlookers had also gathered to see what was going on.

  Sammy crawled, gasping, onto the dock and collapsed. Jake, Lee and Kevin had already talked to security. They were in Stormcloud, telling Rick and Brian. Everyone in the pub heard their story.

  After lying still for a few minutes, Sammy stood up, breathing hard and dripping bay water onto the weather-beaten wooden dock. The only thing he was wearing was a saggy tighty-
whitie. He trudged up the dock and onto the street, leaving wet footprints behind him. He glowered at the people watching him. He looked ready to explode. He was ready to explode. The security team followed behind him a few paces, and many people trailed behind them.

  When he passed in front of Stormcloud, the patrons were treated to the outlandish sight of a chubby thirty-two-year-old man stomping down Main Street, wearing nothing but wet underwear. Water dripped from his hair. Behind him followed a growing knot of people, as if he were the Grand Marshall of a parade. A dog even joined the parade, running about and barking happily. At this sight, some patrons started laughing. Others turned to look and they, too, began to titter. The room filled with laughter.

  Sammy heard the laughter and glanced over. Inside Stormcloud, many faces were turned to him, most wearing a look of supreme amusement. He could hear laughter rolling out the open door. His face grew red. The whole scenario was humiliating. Sammy hated to be humiliated. He began to run, and as his bare feet encountered pebbles and sticks, he hopped and winced. People poured out of Stormcloud to watch and some hurried to follow him. Most didn’t go far, but a few older kids stuck with him for a few blocks before they got bored. Two of the security team followed him at a distance until he was nearly home.

  As patrons returned to their drinks and food at Stormcloud, everyone settled back down, although Sammy was all the buzz and every time someone new came in they were treated to the entire story, indelicate details and all.

  While Kevin was on the stairs about to interrupt Sammy’s voyeuristic fantasy, Doc was seeing another patient. It was his first day of work at the hospital. They showed him around and reminded him of what they didn’t have. They were being very tight-fisted with painkillers, antibiotics, and insulin-type drugs like Metformin. They were also being stingy with anesthetics, dreading the day they had to perform surgery without it.