Indecent Werewolf Exposure

by Eve Langlais

“So what do you think I should have done then, smartass?”

  “Both of them, duh.”

  “At once?”

  “Come on. Don’t tell me you’ve never had a threesome?”

  “No.”

  An incredulous, “But your parents are in a triad,” burst out of her.

  “And? It doesn’t mean they’re into, you know, that kind of kink.” And I’d really rather scratch my eyes out than imagine if they did.

  Brenda laughed. “Oh, Chloe. You are such a prude sometimes.”

  “Am not. I’m very sexually open-minded.”

  “Yet it never occurred to you, that instead of running away from two men who obviously want you, to instead embrace the opportunity to have them both take you?”

  “They don’t even like each other.”

  “But they like you.”

  Not anymore, I was sure. By now, they’d probably caught on to my escape.

  I drained drink number one and pushed the empty glass away. I tugged drink number two closer. “I’m not ready for a relationship. Especially not a complicated one.”

  “Oh, Chloe. I know you’ve got some trust issues because of what that asshole did.”

  “This has nothing to do with my ex.”

  “It has everything to do with him. You thought he was the one. You even used the M word.”

  M word as in moving in together. “Yeah, well, that was before I caught on to the fact he was a lying, cheating asshole. I’ve realized since then I don’t need a permanent man in my life. I’m perfectly content as a single gal. No one to eat the last slice of cold pizza. No one hogging the bed or remote.”

  “No one to hold you and tell you they love you.”

  “Then leave you right after so they can fuck the little blonde they hired as their secretary.”

  “Not all men are like that.”

  “But I have no assurance Pete or Anthony won’t be.”

  “You can’t spend the rest of your life assuming all guys are going to cheat on you.”

  “I’m not. But I can spend a few years just using them for sex before I make any rash decisions.”

  “Somehow I don’t think you have that long.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean? What do you know that I don’t? Am I dying? Is the world ending? Has that space lab your dad works for discovered some huge meteor hurling our way, about to end life as we know it?”

  “What? No. Nobody’s dying.”

  “Then what the hell are you talking about?”

  “Remember how you wanted to take a few years to decide what you want. Don’t look now,” Brenda whispered, “but my prediction is, like it or not, you’re not going to get that long. It seems your men have teamed up and tracked you down.”

  She had to be mistaken. I’d not told them where I was going. I’d snuck out.

  Apparently, I needed to work on my subterfuge skills.

  The men, whom I thought I’d evaded, slid in on either side of me on the bench, squashing me between them.

  This was going beyond determined to pursue right into freaky. Could anyone say stalker?

  “How did you find me?” For one insane moment, I couldn’t help picturing Anthony waving my dirty underwear under Pete’s nose and then the pair of them loping off to hunt me, Pete playing the part of blood hound, nose to the ground following my scent. Disturbing, yet so vivid. Damn, the mimosas in this place were good!

  “I texted your mother,” Pete said, signaling our waitress and bursting my odd theory. “She very kindly let me know where you and Brenda enjoyed getting together for brunch.”

  Someone really needed to have a talk with my matchmaking mother. “And you just decided to show up? Did you not get the hint I needed some time alone?”

  “Yes. But we chose to ignore it,” Anthony answered, not sounding in the least repentant about the decision. “It occurred to us that we needed to speak.”

  “We? As in all three of us?”

  “Yes.”

  “There’s nothing to say.” I yelped as Brenda kicked me under the table. “What? There isn’t.”

  Brenda frowned at me. “I disagree. If you won’t say anything, I will.”

  “Don’t you dare.” I glared at my best friend.

  “I will dare because you’re being an idiot. They’re making an effort. The least you could do is hear them out.”

  “No one ever asked them to. And no, I don’t have to listen. If I wanted to hear them argue about who gets to keep me, I would have stayed. Smarter men would have gotten the hint. I guess they let their little heads make the decision to follow.”

  “Am I the only one offended by the reference to little?” Pete looked around the table. “I’ve been called many things before, but little was never one of them.”

  “Fine. I stand corrected. You’re not little in that department, either of you,” I added pointedly when Pete threw a smug in-your-face look of triumph at Anthony. “Which is probably why neither of you are thinking clearly. Obviously, there’s a lack of blood flow to the intelligent part of your body.”

  Brenda snickered. “Damn. You guys are good. Complimented and insulted in one fell swoop. But we’re getting off track. Nice try, Chloe.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “In case you hadn’t noticed, your pleasant demeanor hasn’t frightened them off.”

  No. It hadn’t. Neither Anthony nor Pete showed any sign of budging. What would it take?

  Or would my BFF do the job for me? Brenda would have made a great matador. She grabbed the bull by the horns and stopped it dead in its tracks.

  “Let me ask you, boys, just what are your intentions toward my best friend?”

  “Are you asking if we’re going to propose?”

  I almost choked on a mouthful of mimosa. “Good gawd no!”

  Pete snickered at my exclamation and I elbowed him. As if I hurt the beast. He didn’t so much as flinch.

  Brenda forged ahead. “Nothing that drastic. Yet.” She ignored my glare. “I won’t go into details; I’ll leave that to her. But suffice it to say, my BFF has trust issues. Big ones. Be that as it may, she still likes both of you. Or as much as she’s capable of, given she’s an ornery bitch who thinks relationships are for dumbasses.”

  Eloquently put except for the liking part. I did not like them. Much.

  “Are you saying that after what happened last night we’re not in a relationship?” Pete asked in a low rumble.

  “Yes,” I replied quickly. “Or do I mean no? I mean, no, we’re not in a relationship.”

  “What about you, lawyer dude?” Brenda pinned him with a stare that might have looked menacing to a chipmunk.

  Trust Anthony to make the dirty things we did sound snooty. “I assumed given our coital relations that we were.”

  Was I the only one who knew the meaning of hook-up? “No we’re not. It was just sex.”

  “I disagree,” Anthony countered. “We might have let attraction initially bring us together, but having spent some time with you and your family, as well as having dealt with you on a professional level, I freely admit you intrigue me. I want to get to know you on more than just a sexual level.”

  “Ditto what he said,” Pete added.

  “I’m sorry, but did you just say in some roundabout way that you like me?”

  “Yes. I like you. Very much in fact.”

  Thankfully, the restaurant didn’t have any flies, or I might have caught a few with my gaping maw.

  Rich, suave dudes did not just announce in greasy spoons that they liked a girl. Didn’t their prep school handbooks have a rule against that? “I can’t believe you said that.”

  “Said that I like you? What’s wrong with that?” Anthony asked.

  “Everything. We barely know each other and you’re not supposed to just, I don’t know, blurt it aloud, where people can hear it.”

  Pete snickered. “And how else would we do it? This isn’t some romance novel or sappy movie. This is real life. We like you and we
want you to like us. I guess we could have pretended to act all cool and shit. Maybe given you the runaround and kept you guessing, but frankly, I’m not into playing juvenile games. I know what I want and that happens to be you.”

  Don’t melt. Don’t melt. Don’t melt.

  “The dog might have put it rather crudely, but aptly. I don’t see a need to play games or to hide my intentions. You seem like a woman who appreciates honesty and forthrightness. By declaring our intentions upfront, such as our intention to engage you in a relationship based on more than just coitus, we hope to gain your regard and trust.”

  “But I don’t want a relationship.” My sulky tone went well with my jutting lower lip.

  “Perhaps not an emotional one as of yet, but that is only because we are in the early stages. The discovery stage, if you will. I, for one, wish to pursue it further.”

  “If you ignore the fact that I’m not as fancy as lawyer boy over there, then yeah, I think you’re hot, but I also like the fact you’re smart and funny.”

  “Don’t you mean supercilious and sarcastic?” I retorted. “Or, in the words of my BFF, an ornery bitch.”

  Pete frowned. “I wouldn’t use the B word. My kind doesn’t like it. However, what some people call ornery, I label assertive and no-nonsense. It’s a rare and attractive quality.”

  “As for myself, I enjoy the fact you don’t simper or couch your word or actions. Do you have any idea how refreshing it is to meet a woman who is not afraid to be herself? To speak her mind? And, not only that, one with a passion that is unrestrained and really quite tempting?” Anthony tossed his two cents in, flustering me even further.

  “We are not having this conversation in a restaurant,” I moaned, laying my head face-first down on the table. Figured it was sticky. Great. Now I’d have a jam mark on my forehead.

  “We wouldn’t be if you hadn’t scurried off,” Pete said, scolding me.

  “I did not scurry. I climbed.” Yeah, way to tell them!

  I pried my face from the table and chugged the rest of my orange drink.

  “We noticed, hence why we followed.”

  “And found me.” I spit on a napkin and scrubbed at the jam. I wished I could wipe the male problem sandwiching me so easily. “So where do we go from here? Flip a coin? Arm wrestle? Or have you already decided?”

  “I don’t think I follow.”

  “How do we decide which of you gets me?”

  Dead silence.

  “Well?” I asked. “Because I sure as hell am not choosing. I’m not the one who wants a relationship. You guys are. So how are we going to decide who gets first shot?”

  Over the top of my head, Pete spoke to Anthony. “She expects us to choose?”

  Duh. Hadn’t I just said that?

  Brenda sighed and shook her head. “Do I have to do everything?”

  I shot her daggers. She didn’t die on the spot.

  “In case you haven’t noticed, Chloe is uncomfortable with the whole doing-two-guys-at-once thing.”

  “So are we,” Pete answered.

  Anthony shifted beside me. “But, given the situation, the dog and I have agreed we could share.”

  “On a rotational basis, of course.”

  “Gee, how nice of you to make this decision without me,” I snapped.

  Brenda kicked me again in the same spot, making an already blossoming bruise bigger. I’d have to get her back later. Maybe by having a giant cake sent to her place and making her gain five pounds. I knew her weakness and I wasn’t afraid to exploit it in the name of revenge.

  “We’re sorry about the presumption. However, given our rivalry seemed to make you uncomfortable, we came to an understanding.”

  “Did this understanding involve any violence that resulted in the destruction of my apartment?” I braced myself for the worst.

  “We’re not animals,” Pete said with a chuckle. “Well, not all of the time at any rate.”

  Way to remind me. I still had so many questions about the whole werewolf thing, but more pressing matters required my blunt attention. “So, let me see if I’ve got this straight. You’re going to take turns, what, screwing me until one of you ends up a winner?” Sounded like fun. But they presumed a lot. “And what if I want neither of you?”

  For some reason, that made them both rock with laughter. I didn’t find my comment that amusing, but apparently, the matter was already decided. Like it or not, I had two men in my life. Men who would share me. Starting Monday.

  When I pleaded for time to think, they graciously agreed to let me have the rest of my Sunday alone.

  Of course, I regretted that the moment they left, each planting a kiss on my lips that made me want to forget I wanted neither and drag them back to my apartment.

  If you asked me, they did it on purpose. Kissed me until I was turned on then leave so I couldn’t say no when they came to spend quality time with me. So long as that time meant orgasms, I guess I’d have to tolerate it.

  Damn, the things I had to put up with as a law-abiding citizen.

  8

  After my Sunday brunch—where under the disbelieving eyes of my new lovers, I proceeded to demolish the biggest breakfast on the menu plus several mimosas—I went home. Alone.

  I spent the day doing menial things. Cleaning, cursing, laundry, kicking things, vacuuming, wishing certain someones would ignore my request to go away and call. Or show up. Or something.

  No need to state the obvious. Anyone could have seen I was a contrary mess. On the one hand, I didn’t want Pete or Anthony or what they offered. On the other, I craved the pleasure I’d found in their arms, craved them, which, in turn, scared and irritated the hell out of me.

  I wasn’t happy at how things turned out, yet, at the same time, what would I have changed? To deny myself either seemed foolish. Not to mention, I couldn’t deny a certain excitement, a spark if you will, that my life had lacked before.

  I’d gone from boring single gal to femme fatale with two men. Me! Boring Chloe, the nympho lover of a pair of hotties. Should I invest in a female version of Viagra to keep up with all the sex about to come my way?

  Maybe later, because at the moment my body seemed more than ready for the upcoming erotic marathon scheduled to start on Monday. Heck, despite two nights of wicked orgasms, I craved more. In retrospect, I regretted my hasty decision to demand some alone time, which those jerks graciously allowed.

  In doing so, had I scared them off? If yes, then good riddance. I doubted it, though. They seemed pretty bound and determined to become a part of my life. But for how long? I mean, who was I kidding? Did I really expect these two hunks to stick the distance? To put up with all my foibles and mood swings, which even I could admit sometimes bordered on the irrational, especially before my period. Sure they liked my attitude now, but after a couple days of my mouthiness, a few bouts in bed, they’d get bored quick enough. Really, what did I have to keep a werewolf and a rich lawyer intrigued? Nothing but me.

  Damn, that sounded deprecating. Low self-esteem be gone. I did have some redeeming qualities. I had to; after all, Brenda had remained my friend all these years, but then again, I’d had plenty of time to brainwash her into thinking I was cool. My mom also made really good cookies, which probably helped.

  If I looked past those forced to like me—and those bribed with home baked treats—my track record bore some utter failures. I couldn’t help but flashback to my last boyfriend and most serious relationship thus far in my life.

  Stupid me, I thought I’d met the one. Similar interests. A decent sex life. Good conversation and everything else the books and articles claimed were the right ingredients for a lasting commitment.

  I’d even contemplated the M word. Moving in together and sharing closet space and letting his toothbrush live alongside mine.

  Wow, was I ever wrong about him. About us. I’d also taken a major hit to my self-esteem and my heart still carried a hefty bruise. Everyone said I’d get over him. And I had. If the apocalyp
se arrived, as the doomsayers predicted, and I had a loaded shotgun and a zombie was chasing him, intent on eating his brains, I’d save the bullet—I’d probably need it, given the asshat wouldn’t feed the undead for long with his puny pea-sized noggin.

  Nope, I didn’t harbor any fondness for my ex and it wasn’t that I didn’t like men. I did. But, he’d left me with something—other than an STD.

  Doubt.

  If I couldn’t keep my dork of an ex intrigued, then what chance did I have with hunks one and two? Once they got over the initial thrill, I could totally picture one leaving and without the rivalry to keep the other intrigued, I’d probably also lose number two and I’d end up single again.

  Alone.

  Only me and…no one.

  Not even a cat.

  How depressing. Maybe I should invest in my own set of lovebirds.

  Was it any wonder I didn’t want to let them into my carefully guarded heart?

  Exhausted, I fell asleep early that night, but it didn’t prove restful.

  * * *

  I found myself in the woods. How or why, I couldn’t have said. I just was suddenly there. And I didn’t like it.

  City girls usually didn’t prance around the forest at night. The lack of lights and traffic sounds made us nervous. Or, at least, it freaked me out, which was why I couldn’t figure out how I ended up running in the woods not wearing a stitch of clothing.

  Startled, I stopped my mad dash and ogled my nude body.

  “Where the hell are my jammies?” Because I distinctly recalled putting some on. Cute ones too, with teddy bears holding hearts.

  A crackle of dry leaves and twigs getting crushed made my head whip around. Not really reassuring, given my location and the unfriendly greenery surrounding me. Who knew what lurked behind the trunks and foliage? Rabid squirrels? Slavering chipmunks.

  Don’t laugh. They might be small but they had sharp, pointy teeth.

  I squinted at the shadows around me. As if I could see a thing. Apparently, clothes weren’t the only thing I’d forgotten to bring. A flashlight and a GPS would have helped. I figured I must be dreaming, but it didn’t reassure, especially when a snuffling noise saw me turning and confronting a golden-eyed stare. The unblinking yellow gaze floated in the darkness as if disembodied, and I swallowed.