Questionable Love (A Love Beyond Labels #2)

by Danielle Rocco

  She rolls her eyes. “Fine. Grab me a pair of high heels.”

  “For what?”

  “I just want to try something.”

  I grab a pair of heels out of my closet. When I turn around, Jules isn’t in my room. I walk out, and she’s quietly shutting my brother’s bedroom door. “What are you doing in Beau’s old room?” I say, startling her.

  “I just wanted to see if it still smelled like Hollister.” She shrugs her shoulders.

  “So, what’s the verdict?” I crack a smile.

  “I don’t know how, but it still does. He makes enough money that he could upgrade his cologne.”

  “Maybe he likes the way it smells.”

  “I guess,” she says, putting her blonde hair in a messy bun. I take a peek in his room, and it hasn’t changed since we were kids. Surf posters grace the walls, and football trophies line the polished shelves. “It looks like he stays here.”

  “He does. He’s kind of a mama’s boy. When he’s been on location for a while, he likes to stay over to get a home-cooked meal. You know how my mom is. She likes to treat us like babies.” I close his door. “You do know what they say about a boy that loves his mother. Don’t you, Jules?”

  “No, what?” she says, looking at all the pictures that line the hallway.

  “If a boy loves and respects his mother, then he usually will love and respect the woman in his life.”

  “I think I hear the phone ringing downstairs,” she says suddenly.

  “Jace! It has to be Jace. No one calls the house phone.” I run down the hall and down the stairs as fast as I can. Totally out of breath, I reach the kitchen, skid across the Saltillo tile floor, and hit my side on the corner of the table. “Ouch!” That’s going to leave a bruise. I reach out and grab the phone before it hangs up. “Hello?”

  “You have a collect call from—”

  “Yes, yes, I accept…”

  I hear a quiet chuckle on the other end of the line.

  “Hey, pretty girl.”

  “Jace,” I say out of breath.

  “Why are you out of breath?”

  “I was upstairs with Jules, and she heard the phone ring. I was afraid I would miss your call.”

  He clears his throat. “I’m glad you got to it. There’s a line of guys waiting to use the phone. I probably would have lost my turn today. I only have a minute to talk.” He sounds muffled. “What’s my girl doing today?”

  “Right now, Jules is forcing me to go sit by the pool for a while.”

  “Are you wearing your pink bathing suit?” he says, moaning quietly.

  “I don’t want to lie out. But, yes, I have it in my hand right now.” I never told Jace I saw Cole at the beach. That would only upset him, and he doesn’t need anything else to be upset about.

  “Put it on. Go lie out by the pool and soak up the sun.”

  “I don’t want to if you—”

  “I want to know my girl is lying out in her pretty pink bikini. You have the prettiest sun-kissed skin, Shay. Go sit by the pool,” he interrupts me.

  “Okay,” I say, feeling guilty. He sounds so miserable. “Are you all right, Jace?”

  He clears his throat again. “Yeah, I’m okay. I just needed to hear your voice and make sure you know how much I love you.” He moans again.

  “Jace, are you sick?”

  “No, I’m not sick. I’m just jealous the sun gets to kiss my girl’s skin when I can’t. That’s all. I just miss you.”

  “I miss you, too,” I tell him with my heart falling to my feet. “I can’t wait to see you.” Just the sound of his voice makes me happy. “Do you need me to bring you anything?”

  “No, baby,” he murmurs. “Just you, Shay. I will only ever need you.”

  “Well, you always have me,” I say.

  “I got to go. My time is up. I love you more than anything.”

  “I love you, too, Jace…” The line goes dead. I stare at the phone. “Jace?” I hope he heard me tell him I loved him. I sigh deeply as I hear Jules turn on the music out back.

  His voice didn’t sound right. Of course, it didn’t. How could his voice possibly be okay? The only time either one of us sounds right is when we are together, and everything falls away for that one hour we get every week.

  As I look down at our love on my wrist, Jules’s words come to mind. “You and Jace will get through this.”

  I walk out the glass doors to an outside oasis that seems unjust to enjoy when the one I love the most is so far removed from this space. I won’t feel right until we are back in each other’s embrace, and I can see he’s okay. Clutching his favorite bikini, I walk down the stone steps.

  Justin Bieber marks his words all over the Hollywood Hills while Jules, with her perfect California girl style, sways to the music around the glistening water touched by the bright California sun. Not a care in the world. Must be nice.

  What the heck is she doing? She sees me and smiles.

  “Just like old times, right?” she yells over the song. “A girls’ day by the pool.”

  “Um, I don't remember us wearing heels poolside as kids.”

  She rolls her eyes at me. “Duh, I mean lying out, Shay.”

  “I’m not lying out!” I shout as I put our towels over our chairs.

  “Yes, you are. I bet Jace told you, too, so go in the pool house and put your suit on.”

  “You’re so bossy.” I make a quick trip to the pool house, only because she’s right. This is exactly what Jace wants me doing right now. I put on my pink bikini that my boy loves and look in the floor-length mirror. I’ve lost a bit of weight, but I still look like his girl, just a sadder version. I can’t wait until I can jump in his arms and hold on to his muscular bare back as he dips us down into the ocean. I walk out of the pool house as Jules is strutting her stuff around without a care in four-inch stilettos. She looks silly. Spraying my tropical sunscreen all over me, I adjust my towel and lie down on the lounger.

  “So, you wanted to walk around the pool in high heels?” I say, looking down at the Jimmy Choos she’s wearing.

  “I’m just practicing.”

  “For what?”

  “I was watching a movie last night, and the girls were walking around the pool in heels. I just wanted to try it.” She flips her long, blonde hair to the side, then turns on her heels and does another lap. She makes it halfway around the pool when I hear a deep voice.

  “What the hell is she doing?”

  I look up, and Beau is standing over me, blocking the sun. He glances back at Jules just as she slips on the tile. He starts laughing loud. Like, not just a laugh, a full-on belly laugh. Jules turns around.

  “What are you laughing at?”

  He takes his shirt off and throws it onto the lounge chair next to me. Jules quickly looks away. My brother isn’t the hottest actor in Hollywood because he’s unattractive—I mean, I know looks aren’t everything, but I can even see how handsome he is. He still has that perfect football body, and with that dark hair and bright blue eyes, he’s pretty easy to look at.

  “You’re ugly,” I tell him.

  “Not as ugly as you,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows. “What the hell is the princess doing?” I shrug my shoulders. He yells out to her as she sashays back over here, “If you’re looking for a glass slipper, you’re not going to find it here.” He laughs.

  “Well, that’s a given, Fumbles. There is no prince around these parts of the woods,” she says back with a huff. He ignores her.

  “I’m glad to see you outside. You really have Mom and Dad worried,” Beau says to me.

  “I’m fine.”

  “No, you’re not.” He sits down beside me. We both squint from the sun, and he gives me a sly I know you better than you think look, then lies back, putting his muscular arms behind his head.

  “Some days are worse than others,” I tell him, shielding my eyes from the glaring sun.

  “And today’s a better day?”

  “Not really, but Jac
e told me to come out here and catch some rays.”

  “Well, good. You can’t stay in your room all day,” he says while trying to conceal his eyes, but really he’s trying to hide the fact that he can’t take his eyes off my best friend’s long, tan legs and very toned body. I have a feeling he likes what he sees. Jules walks up, and he quickly closes his eyes.

  “Why are you here?” Jules says, removing the Jimmy Choos from her feet. Arching her back, she watches as Beau removes his arms from the back of his messy dark hair and sits up slowly, causing his stomach to flex. She stares at his chiseled chest, and he stares at her boobs while I take in The Beau and Jules Show.

  “This is my parents’ house, Julia,” he says. She looks around with her hand up, acting in shock.

  “Oh my God, really, Beau? And I thought you were just a dumb jock, but turns out, you aren’t that dumb.”

  He breathes in deeply through his nose. “Dumb jock? You can do better than that.”

  “Well, I do question your acting skills, but I don’t want to hit you below the belt.” She plays with her hair.

  “Okay now, that’s enough,” I say, trying to intervene.

  Beau smiles that trademark Stark smile and says, “I’m sure you’d like to go below my belt.”

  “Not if you were the last person on Earth,” she says with distaste.

  He chuckles. “No worries, Julia. I have plenty of women who like to go—” Jules’s gaze goes to his crotch. “Eyes up here, princess. Little girls shouldn’t be looking below the belt.”

  “Poor, desperate women,” she blurts out. Jules looks at me, and I can tell something Beau said got under her skin, but she blows it off. “I gotta go, Shay,” she says. She then looks over at Beau. “Tell Mila, your wonderful girlfriend, hello,” she’s quick to announce.

  He smiles mischievously. “I will make sure to do that right after she…never mind.”

  “You’re pathetic!” she yells as she walks into the house. After she leaves, I turn to Beau.

  “Wait, is Mila really your girlfriend?”

  “Hell no. I don’t have a girlfriend.”

  “Why’d you make Jules think that?”

  “I didn’t. I just didn’t correct her.”

  “You know, Beau, they say when a boy taunts a girl, it means he likes her.”

  “She’s a monster, not a girl.”

  “Don’t be mean,” I say. He laughs.

  “I meant to ask you. How is Jace doing?”

  “He seems to be doing okay. Actually, I talked to him earlier, and I couldn’t tell if he was just sad or if he was sick. He’s always treated me like a fragile doll, afraid I can’t handle things.”

  “Well, that’s good. He wants to protect you, as he should.”

  “I don’t need protection, Beau.”

  “When a man truly loves a woman, he always wants to protect her and keep her safe.”

  I look up into his eyes that match mine. “Is that how you feel about Mila?”

  “Are you serious? I don’t feel like that for any girl. The only girls I care for and would protect are you, Tatum, and Mom. Mila is a co-star, nothing more.”

  “So, you’ve never slept with her?”

  He chuckles. “You don’t need to worry about who I sleep with.” I nod. “I don’t ask about you and Jace… Hell, the last thing I want to think about is someone sleeping with my sister. I still think you’re too young to be doing that, but I’m not naïve. Knowing how long you two have been together, I’m sure you’ve past that step,” he says, rubbing his sweaty forehead. “I will admit, though. I’m happy to know you’ve only been with Jace. Most girls give it up so easily without a thought. No respect for themselves.”

  I smile, remembering Jace telling me how special it is that we only belong to each other. I’m sure my brother’s belonged to many. He’s never found that special one, and it makes me sad, because how hard is it when you’re one of the top movie stars in the world to ever really find a girl that truly loves you for you?

  “Do you think Mom and Dad would let me move into the condo?” I ask him, changing the subject.

  “Why do you want to do that?”

  “I’ve just been thinking about it. Jules lives away from home a couple of days a week, and I know Mom means well, but she’s constantly asking me if I’m okay and if I need anything. And, I know Dad’s patience is wearing thin with me, so I thought maybe if I’m on my own, I would focus more on my music. Maybe a new space would kick in some creativity in me.”

  “I think that would be good for you. You really are talented. I know being apart from Jace is hard, but being there might help you feel more independent, too.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “They never use the condo anyway. It wouldn’t hurt to ask them,” he suggests, turning back to the sun with his eyes closed.

  “Why didn’t you ever want to live there?”

  “I was making insane money right out of high school, after signing the movie deal. I didn’t need their condo.”

  “Yeah, your place is nice,” I tell him.

  “It would be great for you to get your start on your own there.”

  Beau has no idea I want to get that start with my boy living there with me just like we’ve talked about. I will never forget our night at the condo. The very first time we made love in a bed, and Jace surprised me and asked me to marry him. We talked about moving into the condo, making music together, and starting our life. The condo really is perfect, and Beau’s right. It just sits there, unused.

  “I’m going to ask Dad tonight.”

  “Can’t wait to hear what he says.” He grabs his shirt. “Okay, I’ve got to go.”

  “Thanks for spending time with me.”

  “Of course, ugly. That’s what big brothers are for.”

  I smile, and he leans down and kisses my forehead. “Good luck with that independence.”

  “Thanks,” I say, hanging on to the plans Jace and I had before everything went wrong.

  I CAN’T DO THIS

  NOTHING’S WRONG INVADES my mind. Shay could hear it in my voice, and I tried to conceal my unhappiness, but she saw right through it. Since I hung up the phone with her earlier, all I’ve pictured are summer nights wrapped up in sandy feet and salty lips. Shay is my entire life, and when I line up for my second meal of the day in a room full of trouble, I get in my zone with one thing on my mind—to get out of this fucking place.

  With thoughts of determination from loving hard, I move forward in a line packed of no ambition.

  Always by myself, but always aware of my surroundings, words behind me gather attention. Middle school fighting words bring childhood punks to my mind.

  “Mind your own business, pretty boy,” rings clear through my ears, exactly what that punk ass said to me before I defended Bart Phillips on a schoolyard full of thugs. I throw my hair back and look over my shoulder, making eye contact with the guy behind me. He stares me down.

  Right away, I notice it’s the same guy that was eyeing me during rec time days ago, the one that sits with the girl that gives mine dirty looks. I know his type—typical troublemaker. I’m not going to tell you I’m the toughest guy around. I’ve always held my own.

  And, honestly, look where I am. I’m not proud of it. I’m so disappointed in myself. I’m no pussy, though. Never have been and never will be. I look him up and down.

  “Get your tray, bro,” he says to me. The guys next to him laughs. I glance at them, then my eyes go straight back to the guy trying to punk me. He comes up to my damn shoulders, fucking little man syndrome. I give him a smirk, trying to keep myself in check.

  “I’m so scared something could happen to you.” I tighten my jaw with her words floating through my pulsing veins.

  “When it’s my turn, I will. Be patient, bro. I promise, you’ll eat,” I tell him, looking directly into his pitch-black eyes. I turn around slowly, picturing my girl sitting by her pool in her bikini that I love while worrying if I’m okay. Ego i
n check, I can’t disappoint that girl ever again.

  I hear the guy say something behind me, but it’s muffled. As the guy in front of me moves forward, I reach out and grab the metal tray. Out of all the times I kicked deadbeats out of our apartment, and that little squabble I had to defend Bart Phillips growing up, I was only blindsided once. I was ready for the fight that ultimately landed me here, but I didn’t expect this, and when the guy dazed me, I saw fucking stars—not like the ones I used to hold my girl under. Quick and unforgiving, my head is slammed into the metal serving table.

  “Fuck!” My eyes slowly roll to the back of my head, and the heavy taste of blood fills my mouth as my lip splits open. I’m about to black out. Like, lights out dazed. I can’t let something happen to me.

  I manage to peel my face off the metal surface, and with blurred vision, cold black eyes connect with mine. He swings at me, landing a solid shot to my right eye.

  “I’m a big boy, baby… No one will touch me.”

  Fuck! I’m still trying to get my bearings, but all I see is red, and all I hear is Shay’s scared voice every week, worried something will happen to me. I can’t let someone hurt me. Shay would be devastated. I get in a clean shot and hear his nose crack. Blood flies everywhere.

  I look down at my hands, dazed and confused as hell, when he gets in another hit, this time to my nose. My adrenaline kicks in, and I’m on a mission to protect myself for my girl.

  “You better not have broken my nose, motherfucker!” I scream, tackling him to the floor in a chokehold, ready to do damage. I start to squeeze his neck when love whispers into my ear. With blood everywhere, my heart beating out of my chest, and the reason I’m away from the girl I love staring me in the face for the second time, I stop. I can’t do this again. I hold him down.

  I can’t do this. I can’t do this. Fuck…fuck…fuck… Blood pours out of both of our noses, and my vision is still so blurred I’m pretty sure I have a concussion. I won’t let go of him, but I won’t fight back any longer either. Shay’s face is all I see, and I can’t be away from her any longer than I have to. I can’t fight. Three guards pry me off him, even though I’m putting up no resistance.