Questionable Love (A Love Beyond Labels #2)

by Danielle Rocco

  “Hey, guys,” she greets us, glancing at me and then staring at Hunter.

  Hunter’s phone rings. “Excuse me. I need to get this.” He walks out of the room.

  “God, he is so hot, Shay.” I shrug my shoulders. “Seriously, I can’t believe you’re teaching Hunter Daniels guitar lessons.”

  “Yeah, it’s weird, huh?”

  “You think?” she says. “I bet Jace is going crazy with you spending time with our childhood heartthrob.”

  “No, he’s fine with it.”

  She rolls her eyes playfully. “Sure, he is.” Hunter walks back in at the same moment.

  “I have to go back to Universal. They have some scenes to rework. I’m sorry. Can we do our lesson tomorrow?”

  “Of course. No problem,” I tell him. He smiles and grabs his guitar and waves at Jules and me, bolting out of the room in a hurry.

  “Seriously, so damn hot,” Jules says when he’s out of sight. “How many lessons are you giving him?” She wiggles her perfect eyebrows.

  “I don’t know. He seems to pay as he goes.” I put my guitar back inside the case.

  “Maybe I can have him give me some lessons.”

  “Lessons in what?”

  “I could think of a lot of things Hunter Daniels could teach me, Shay.” She starts to laugh, and I playfully roll my eyes. “Let’s have a party at your place tonight.”

  “Why the hell would I have a party, Jules? Didn’t I already tell you no parties?” I snap.

  “Didn’t I already tell you ‘having a party’ was a figure of speech? God, Shay, you are so damn uptight. Loosen up, Lucy. All you do is sit at home by yourself. Or go to your parents’ house to wait for Jace’s calls. I just thought we could have a fun girls night.”

  “I can’t have a fun night until Jace is out of prison.”

  “We can watch movies and hang out, just the two of us. I didn’t mean an actual party.”

  “I’m sorry I snapped at you. It’s just I’m not feeling the party vibe right now.”

  “I know. I get it. But, I’m sure Jace doesn’t want you sad all the time. And, as soon as Hunter left the room, I could see that depression creep back in.”

  “Well, I don’t want to be a depressing teacher, and I’m happy that Hunter is actually practicing what I’ve taught him. He had really tight fingers when he started and is already loosening up and sounding better.”

  “I bet he could be really good with his fingers,” she says, fanning her face. “God, I would love Hunter’s fingers loosely playing with my—”

  “Oh my God, Jules,” I cut her off, pushing her lightly on the arm.

  “Relax, Starkie. Let a girl dream.”

  HE GETS TO KEEP HIS FINGERS

  I DIAL THE NUMBER that holds the other half of my heart, waiting patiently on the other side. And, like always, my eyes shut tightly, and my heart beats harder with each slow ring. I hold my bottom lip between my teeth, anticipating her soft voice while my free hand rubs my thigh nervously.

  The phone picks up, and I wait with a tight jaw for Shay to accept my call. I hate this part of our phone call. I think about when I first got my cell phone and how excited she was because we could finally talk whenever we wanted. It’s always been the little things for Shay and me that others probably take for granted. When you grow up talking once a week, and with no way to communicate most of the time, it’s like winning the fucking lottery when you are granted anytime access to the one you love. This moment every day that we can hear each other’s voice is truly a gift for us. It will always be that way for me. Shay’s voice has always been my lifeline.

  “Yes, I accept,” she says softly into the phone. My eyes open slowly, and I release my teeth from the hard bite to my lip.

  My girl.

  “I love you, Jace James,” she says. Her tone is caring with just a hint of pain neither one of us can control.

  “I love you, too, baby.” I ache to hold her.

  “Hunter mastered loose fingers,” she says, eliciting a glimpse of her sassiness that I love. A real smile forms on my face. I’ve been holding my breath he would get those fingers figured out quickly. It was either I passed out from worry, or he was going to lose a couple of them when I got out of here.

  “Thank God,” I tell her while she giggles. I run my hand through my hair and tug it at the back a little to release the anxiety I feel all damn day away from her. “Did you get your love note?”

  “Yes, and I’m keeping it in my guitar case forever,” she says with a sweet sigh. “You know what they say about your first, right, Jace?” I can’t help it. I adjust myself when she says that. Our first time blinds me for a second, and I’m right back on that sand with her underneath me. Damn. I wish I could be inside her right now. I breathe in deep, letting the moment pass before I embarrass myself in here with a hard-on.

  “How does me being your first, and I might remind you—your only—have to do with guitar?”

  “You were my very first guitar student, silly.”

  “Is that why you want your love note in your guitar case?”

  “Yup. I always want my boy’s sweetness around me.”

  “You want to know what I want around me right now?” I speak low into the phone.

  “What?” she answers quietly.

  “I want your legs wrapped around me so tight, and I want to make the sweetest love to you. I want you, Shay. I will always want you wrapped around me. I miss you.”

  “I miss you, too.”

  “ I just want you to know how I feel, and I want to feel you so bad right now.”

  “If you let me come visit, I can wrap my arms around you. Even if I can’t wrap my legs around you, at least we can hold each other for a few minutes.”

  “I won’t risk your safety, but don’t think for a second I don’t want that. I’m pretty much holding myself down right now from even thinking about your arms around me. I can practically smell you and taste the coconut from here.” Cole enters my mind when he texted me from Shay’s phone, letting me know he was wrapped up in her smell when I couldn’t be. “Don’t wear all that sweetness around that Hunter guy.”

  “You’re so silly, Jace.”

  “No, I’m not. I don’t want him smelling my girl.” I chuckle into the phone, but I’m serious as hell.

  “I can’t wait for you to see how pretty our bedroom looks. I even brought all my pink pillows from my parents’ house to put on our bed.” I scratch my rough jaw. “It’s just so warm and pretty,” she adds.

  “I love all your pinkness, but do we need pink pillows on our bed? I’m not really a pink kind of guy.”

  “What do you mean you’re ‘not really a pink kind of guy’? You’ve been making me pink hearts since you were thirteen!” she yells all sassy. I laugh.

  “Yeah, I will always be all about pink when it comes to you. Ever since the day I met you and your little fingers were painted pink, I’ve always associated the color with you, and I will make you pink hearts until my last breath. But, we’re talking about our bedroom, where I’m going to make love to you endlessly.”

  “Okay, I get your point. No pink pillows on the bed,” she says with a little adorable giggle. “I love you, Jace James, my forever rough boy.”

  “I love you, Shay, and remember we’re going to have lots of kids for you to throw pink pillows around.”

  “Yay!” she screams. I laugh and see the line forming behind me for the phone and tighten my jaw.

  “I got to go, pretty girl.”

  She groans into the phone. “I want to come see you,” escapes her lips like it always does. “Jace, please,” she cries, and again all her happiness is turned to heartache. I look over my shoulder as the guy behind me clears his throat. Black eyes meet mine, and again I have to deny the love of my life what she wants. I turn back around and tighten my fist.

  “Don’t cry, baby, please. I promise you, if I thought it was safe, I would have you here in a heartbeat, but I don’t.”

  Knowi
ng I’m not going to change my mind, she whispers through her tears, “More than anything.”

  “Endlessly, baby,” I whisper back, and then my lifeline hangs up the phone.

  I SING FOR MY BOY

  “CAN I HEAR YOU PLAY your original?” Hunter asks, twirling around in the chair. I shake my head no. “Come on,” he says nicely.

  “Okay.” I grab my guitar and sit down in the leather chair next to him. “Because you are paying me to teach you, it’s the least I can do.”

  “Go in the sound booth.” He stands up and walks over to the soundboard. “I want to try my recording skills.” His lip lifts at the corner, and the dimple shines on his cheek.

  “Well, I don’t really want to record,” I say nervously.

  “It’s not a big deal, Shay.” He puts his hat on backward. Gripping my boy’s love on my wrist, I walk over to the sound booth and sit on the stool. I watch as Hunter fiddles with some of the controls, and when he looks up, he tells me to say something into the microphone.

  I whisper softly, “Hello.” He laughs and shakes his head. “Can you hear me?” I say, unsure of how loud I am.

  “You have the cutest voice. I can’t wait to hear you sing.”

  I stare out at my guitar case where my boy’s love note sits. Reminders of how he sat and listened to me all day stare back at me as the case I carried every week to the center rests against the wall. I feel bad that Jace can’t hear me. Singing in front of him has always been effortless for me, but at the moment, I’m nervous. “This is scary.”

  “Don’t be scared. Just think of it as two artists making music together,” he says as I let out a shaky sigh. “Shake out those nerves, girl. If you’re ever going to be on stage, you need to learn how to keep them at bay.”

  “Is that what you do? You’ve always seemed so confident.”

  “You kind of have to be. Of course, I get nervous,” he confesses into the microphone on the other side of the glass wall. “I’m ready when you are.” He raises his hand for me to start. With my mouth centered, I lean in, suck in a tiny breath, and let the first verse pass through my lips for the boy who sits and waits to be reunited.

  Just a girl, just a boy

  Dark blue meets pale blue, and I’m shaken to the core

  Slow to go, fast to fall

  Forever is written on my heart and soul

  I move away from the microphone as I play my guitar and strum lovingly, relishing every moment I felt the day Jace walked into my life. Then, closing, my eyes, I lean back in and continue the words.

  Sun-kissed days, moonlit nights

  Our hands holding on so tight

  Written hearts on torn-out love

  Forever carved on heart-shaped love

  Just a girl, just a boy

  My moon and stars are his to hold

  You hold the key to my heart

  Softly, I sing the last word and open my eyes. Hunter raises his hand, and I push off the microphone. “Was that okay?” I chew on my pinkie nail. He stares back at me as I get up off the stool and walk back around to the soundboard where he sits.

  “I think I just fell completely in love with you,” he teases, taking his hat off, shaking his dirty blond hair. “Why haven’t you recorded that?” He lays his hat down.

  I shrug my shoulders. “I wrote it for my boyfriend when I was a lot younger.”

  “It’s really good…and your voice is absolutely beautiful.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I think you should record it. Your singing voice is so different than your speaking voice.”

  “It is?”

  “Well, the softness is still there, but it’s controlled, and you know exactly when to show it. But, when you want to dig deep and show your emotion, it’s raspier and…sex-filled.”

  “Sex-filled?” I say, embarrassed.

  “Well, yeah, it’s like you have such a soft voice, and then you show this other side of your tone that makes you…” His cheeks actually turn red. “Put it this way—you have a very alluring sound. Has your dad heard it?”

  “No.”

  My dad walks into the room at that exact moment. “How’s it going?”

  “Your daughter is exceptionally talented.”

  Dad smiles and looks over at me. “Yeah, I know. Imagine how frustrating it is for me to have artists come in and out of here all day, when I know how talented my own daughter is, and she doesn’t want to get behind the mic.”

  “Listen to this,” Hunter says, hitting one of the knobs on the soundboard.

  “You didn’t.” I look over at him. He grins.

  “I did.”

  My dad smiles, walks in, and takes a seat in one of the big black leather chairs. The next thing I know, my voice is filtering throughout the room. I put my hands on my face, self-conscious. My dad turns to me while Hunter smiles wide and puts his hat back on.

  “Are you ready to record it and get it out there?”

  “I don’t know, Dad.”

  “Eventually you need to know, Shay.”

  “You’ve got to strike the match when it’s hot,” Hunter says, winking. “And you’re hot.” Ignoring him, my dad stays focused on me. “It’s so good,” he adds.

  “Hunter’s right, Shay. You sound amazing. Why not let the world hear it?”

  “Well, I wrote it for Jace. It’s personal.”

  “Every song a singer-songwriter writes is personal, and yours is just as good,” he says. My dad shakes his head in agreement.

  I glance to Hunter. “Well, we didn’t come into the studio for me. We are here because you are paying me to give you guitar lessons.”

  “I know that, and, speaking of—now that I’ve heard you sing, I know exactly who I want to collaborate with. Let’s get your song out there and then work on mine.”

  I glance at my dad. Hunter looks between us. “I’m going to head out and let you two talk privately. I have a few loose ends at the studio to finish up.” He gets up and shakes my dad’s hand. “Steven, it was a pleasure listening to the next big thing.” He glances at me. “I can’t wait to work with her.”

  “Hey, I didn’t say I was working with you,” I stress the words. He laughs.

  “I’ll call you later, Shay.” He nods and walks out. Smiling tight-lipped, I turn to my dad.

  “Tell me what to do.”

  “Are you really ready for me to tell you what to do?”

  I nod because I’m a frazzled mess, nervous and giddy at the same time because all I can think about is making Jace proud of me. “I’m going to tell you what I think as a father, and as an owner of a record label.”

  “Okay,” I say, twisting my lip.

  “As your dad, I’m proud of you for getting yourself together and pushing through your heartache. Teaching guitar is a great way to get a start on your future, and it’s meaningful because it’s something you’ve worked on and are passionate about. It’s been a year since Jace was sent to prison, and I know it’s been the hardest year you’ve ever experienced. Life will sometimes hit you in the face, and not always in the best way, but you have to push through it, and you are.”

  “I’m doing it for Jace and me.” He smiles as I continue, “And I appreciate you allowing me to move into the condo.”

  “I only let you do that because I believe in you. The day you asked me to move into the condo I was seconds away from telling you to suck it up and figure something out.”

  I nod my head, because seriously, what can I say? He’s been more than generous with me missing my boy. “Okay. That’s completely fair. What about ‘Steven Stark’?” I air quote.

  He laughs and air quotes me back. “‘Steven Stark’ thinks you have a great opportunity to start a very promising career, a once in a lifetime as a new, unknown artist to potentially work with one of the biggest names in the business. If you were someone else, I would tell you you’d be a fool to not take the leap.” I bite down on my bottom lip. “What do you think Jace would say?”

  “I know wha
t he would say,” I answer. Dad raises his eyebrows. “He’d say I should do it, but I have to tell you, Dad. Jace and I had plans to make music together before he was arrested.”

  “Well then, you will when he gets out.”

  “He’s really good.”

  “If you say he is, then I’m sure it’s true, but right now, it’s about you.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay what?” he says.

  “I’m ready.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Well, I guess I won’t ever know unless I try,” I tell him. He nods with a great big smile.

  “That’s my girl.”

  “So, what’s next?” I ask him.

  “Well, Jules gets back from San Francisco tomorrow, and I will have her set up more studio time and everything we need to do to get you started.” He stands and rolls up the sleeves of his black dress shirt. “Your mother will be waiting for me for dinner, so I’m heading out. Do you want to come over?”

  “No, I think I’ll go home, but I’ll be over in the morning for Jace’s call.” He hugs me and then walks out. I get up and grab my guitar and run my fingers over the strings.

  “I can’t believe I’m really going to do this.”

  My phone beeps. I set my guitar down and grab it.

  Hunter: How’d it go?

  Me: I’m going to record.

  Hunter: Will you collaborate with me?

  Me: I haven’t even heard your song.

  Hunter: Let’s work on it.

  Me: When?

  Hunter: Before you get all diva and blow me off.

  Me: I’m not the diva kind of girl.

  Hunter: I know. That’s why I like you.

  There’s a brief pause, and then he sends another text.

  Hunter: Let’s meet up.

  Me: For what?

  Hunter: To talk about you becoming a pop star.

  Me: I’m not going to become a pop star.

  Hunter: I know the real deal when I see it.

  Me: Maybe another time.

  Hunter: Bring the boyfriend with you?

  I absolutely hate this. I don’t discuss Jace’s circumstances with anyone other than who already knows. And, like Jules says, I’m either by myself or with family. Working and being on my own are completely new to me, not something I wanted to do. Not that I didn’t want to grow up—I just thought when I got on my own and started my music career, I would be doing it with Jace by my side. I don’t need to be the girl who finds herself. I’ve known what I wanted out of life for a very long time. What I want can’t be with me right now, and it’s making a huge damper in what should be an exciting time.