Questionable Love (A Love Beyond Labels #2)

by Danielle Rocco

  “What do you want to do?” Beau asks.

  “I want you to take me to his apartment.”

  “I thought you said his mom was getting evicted when he went to prison?” Jules says from the backseat.

  “She was, but I’m desperate, Jules. If he’s not in a hospital and he didn’t find a way to me, then maybe he went there. I just don’t know.”

  “Okay, tell me how to get there,” Beau says.

  Fifteen minutes later with crazy L.A. traffic, we turn onto the street that my boy grew up on. Beau pulls over to the side, and I get out.

  “Wait a minute, Shay. I’ll go with you.”

  “You’re not leaving me in the car, Beau,” Jules says dramatically. “I’m not waiting here by myself. I’m coming with you, Shay. You wait here, Beau.”

  “I don’t know, princess,” He chuckles. “This looks a little out of your element.”

  She glares at him while I wait impatiently for someone to come with me.

  “You know what? You two stay here and bug each other, and I’ll go myself,” I say, storming off. “I don’t have time for your bickering right now.”

  “No one is bickering, Shay,” Jules calls from behind me, getting out of the car.

  “Maybe you’ll find your Prince Charming between those buildings, princess!” Beau yells to Jules as he leans back against the car.

  “Shay did! So maybe I will, too!” she shouts back as she runs up and grabs my hand. “Where in the hell is your damn prince, Shay?”

  I start to cry again. “I don’t know, Jules. I don’t freakin’ know!” I drag her to Jace’s apartment while some guys whistle and invite us over to their little party. Jules holds on to my hand for dear life while I briskly walk past them, completely unaffected, but as soon as I come up to the apartment door, I break down. Without hesitation, I start pounding on the door.

  “Shay, you know his mom doesn’t live here anymore.”

  “She was evicted, but maybe she moved back in, Jules.” I keep knocking. Where is Grace?

  PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY REMINDERS

  I LOOK OUT THE STORMY window and lay my head against the cold glass. How can the weather be so damn different in California? This sucks, and it’s going to be a bitch to drive in tomorrow, but I don’t have a fucking choice. I’m completely phoneless and helpless at this point. I’m going back to a broken girl and a best friend who didn’t have a choice but to tell her. With peanut butter and jelly reminders, I push off the glass and go apologize to a mother who is desperately trying. She’s leaning against the kitchen table in tears when I turn the corner out of the hallway.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.”

  “It’s okay. I deserved it.”

  “No, you didn’t.”

  “Yes, I did. I was a horrible mother.”

  “Okay, I’m not going to argue with you there. You weren’t the best mom.” She looks up with eyes full of tears. I smile. “But, that doesn’t mean you can’t become one.”

  “Why can’t you eat peanut butter and jelly?”

  “It’s actually my favorite sandwich to eat.”

  “Then why’d you freak out?”

  “When Shay and I were on a field trip years ago together, she had one cut into a heart that her mom made her. I wanted so desperately to go on that field trip with her, but I didn’t have time to pack a lunch before I left the apartment, and we really didn’t have anything to eat. I didn’t care, though. I just wanted to be with her. Anyway, when it was time to eat, I sat across from her, empty-handed, as she laid out a really special lunch. I thought it was the cutest thing. I didn’t even know you could make a sandwich look like a heart. She smiled at me, broke it in half, and told me I could have the other half of her heart. It’s kind of been our thing since we were kids, and she’s always made them for me over the years.” Grace puts her head down. “I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad, Grace. It’s such a simple thing, but to me it always meant so much.”

  “Did she always cut them into hearts?”

  “Always.”

  “I’m so happy that you had Shay in your life.”

  “I pray to God I still do.”

  “You will, Jace. That picture of you two in your room shows a girl completely in love.”

  “How can you tell?”

  “The way she’s smiling at you—you can just see adoration, and the way her eyes are looking into yours, she’s in love. Maybe this will be a bump in your road, but I know you two will get through it.”

  “What about the pictures I saw?”

  “I don’t believe those stupid magazines. What does your heart tell you?”

  “My heart tells me my girl would never want anyone but me. But, it still hurts to see it.”

  “I know it does, but if she’s going to be in that business, you’ll have to get used to things like that happening. She won’t be able to control them. Can you handle that?” I let out a breath. “You have a temper, Jace. You just got out of prison for beating up her friend because you were jealous.”

  “I won’t do that again.”

  “How can you be sure? Her life in the entertainment business is way bigger than her childhood friend that had a crush on her.”

  “I won’t ever risk losing her again. I can’t help who I am, Mom. I grew up defending you and kicking deadbeats out of our house. It’s my natural instinct to protect the people I love.” She smiles. “I will always protect what’s mine, and Shay is mine to protect. She’s my girl, and it’s going to kill me to fight rumors and see suggestive pictures. I don’t know how I’m going to deal with it, but I know I won’t use my fists again. I’ll be right back in prison, and I wouldn’t survive that separation from her again. I won’t risk us.”

  “Well, you get that tire put on tomorrow. I don’t have a lot of money, but I will make sure you have enough to get back there.”

  “I don’t like the thought of you out here on your own.”

  “I’m good, Jace, and when I can get back to California, I will.” She looks out the sliding glass door as the rain slowly falls from the sky. “I hate this kind of weather. You can’t have pretty hair when it’s always wet from rain,” she says, causing a chuckle to escape me.

  “Is this where you grew up?”

  “Yes.”

  “Where you met my dad?”

  “Yes.”

  “Does he still live here?” I ask as she shakes her head quickly.

  “I don’t know, and I haven’t asked. I went to rehab, and my sister helped me get a job at the elementary school in the cafeteria, and I really don’t venture out.”

  “Can you tell me about him?” She takes a deep breath and a big drink of her lemon water. As she sets down the glass, she gets choked up. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to… I know you didn’t when I asked before.”

  “That wasn’t fair of me to do to you.”

  “I met him when I was fourteen.” She pauses. “I was a good girl, and Jason was a really bad boy. I was told to stay away from him, but your dad was pretty persistent with me, and of course, I was swept away by his attention. He only had his father. His mom died before I met him, and he got to do what he wanted. His dad was broken when Jason’s mom died, and he just didn’t know how to handle things. Neither one of them did.”

  “My dad’s name is Jason?” That was all I heard.

  “Yes. You were named after your father. I just wanted to call you Jace, so on your birth certificate your name is listed as Jace James.”

  “Why is he not a part of my life?”

  She lets out a soft sigh and continues, “We fell in love, and it wasn’t easy because he got in trouble all the time, and my father tried to keep us apart. I was smart, and listened, and never got in trouble. My dad hated Jason when I ended up pregnant. I was only fifteen, just starting high school, and your dad was locked up in juvenile hall. I went to see him and told him I was pregnant, and he was happy. He seemed so happy, Jace, and I thought w
e would figure it out together…” She trails off.

  “Why was he locked up?” I interrupt her thoughts. She lets out a huff, and her eyes go to the ceiling for a moment. “Why, Grace?”

  “Fighting. He got in fights, drank, and smoked pot. I never smoked weed, but I know he did. He would lie and tell me he was going to stop. Anyway, he told me he loved me, and he would clean himself up for you and me. When he got out, he came storming onto my parents’ lawn, taking out the entire front yard with his muscle car, telling my dad I was coming with him. When I tried to leave, my dad told him no. Your dad left me crying on the porch.

  “I didn’t see him for three days, and when I finally did, he was so strung out, he told me to never come around again. Jason didn’t want either of us. I was heartbroken. When I went home, I packed a bag and left.”

  “You just left and went to California?”

  “I never looked back. I hated my father, and I hated yours.” She sighs. “I don’t want to talk about him anymore.”

  “All right.” I bring her in for a hug.

  “I want you to know, Jace, that I have to believe there was love there. We made an amazing, caring son. Maybe I didn’t make the best decisions as a mother, but leaving here was what I was supposed to do. Call it what you will, but it brought you to Shay, and I believe you were destined to be with her. If you had grown up here in Oregon, that would never have happened.”

  “My life would not have been complete if Shay wasn’t in it.”

  “Then my wrongs found your right,” she says, smiling through her tears.

  STILL NO WORD FROM MY BOY

  HEARING LIGHT WHISPERS and footsteps around me, I slowly open my eyes. Mom is getting juice out of the refrigerator, and my dad is coming in from the terrace. I sit up quickly. “Shay, did you get any rest?” Mom asks me.

  “I guess I fell asleep.” I get up and grab my keys.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’m just going to drive around.”

  “Sit down, Shay. You haven’t even opened your eyes.” Dad stops me.

  “I have to go look for him.”

  “I’ve called a friend of mine over at LAPD, and they know to keep an eye out for him. They’ll keep me posted if someone with Jace’s description shows up.”

  “So, I’m just supposed to sit here and wait?”

  “That’s really all you can do.”

  “That’s not what Jace would do if I was missing.”

  “We don’t know if he’s missing, Shay.”

  “Well, then where is he, Dad?” I cry out.

  “I don’t know. Maybe he just had to get himself together for a few days. We don’t know what it was like for him in prison.”

  “No. He would never keep us apart intentionally. I know that. We fought our entire relationship to be together, and he wouldn’t keep distance between us. He made me a promise when he got out, and there is no way he would break it. He’s hurt, Dad, and I need to find him.”

  “I’ll drive around with you, Shay,” Tatum says, walking into the kitchen with her bikini on. “Let me just get dressed.”

  “Thanks, Tate.” She leaves the room, and my mom hands me a glass of juice. “I don’t want any.”

  “Shay, you haven’t eaten since yesterday.”

  “I don’t care.”

  “I’m ready,” Tatum says, skipping back into the kitchen in flip-flops and a bright yellow dress. It reminds me of the one I wore when Jace asked me to marry him, and it makes my heart crack a little bit more. I suck in a breath, determined to find the boy who promised me forever.

  We drive for an hour up and down Hollywood and Vine to Brea to Melrose, then back to the community center and his apartment. I’m so flustered I can’t even tell where I am anymore, so I go back to my parents’ and thank Tatum for going with me as she romps through the house, putting her bikini back on. I go right back to the kitchen and stare at the phone, our only way to communicate for the last year.

  “He’ll come back, Shay,” Dad says, walking into the room.

  “How do you know?”

  “Because love always finds a way home.”

  “What if he doesn’t love me anymore?” I turn to him with a pouty face full of tears.

  “I thought you told me you’re soul mates?”

  “We are.”

  “When two hearts become one, they can only beat so long apart before they have to be put back together,” he says, reaching out and wiping my tears.

  “My heart is barely beating, Dad.”

  “But can you still feel him in your heart?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then hold on to that. Whatever keeps you apart right now, Jace will come back for the other half of his heart.”

  “What if he’s—”

  “He’s not dead, Shay,” he cuts me off.

  “Then where is he?”

  “I have no clue, but when he shows back up, he better have a damn good explanation for where he’s been.”

  WHY ARE YOU ACTING WEIRD?

  MY HEART BEATS SLOW as Grace nudges me awake.

  “Do you want me to let you sleep longer?”

  I sit up quickly, rubbing my face with my hands. “What time is it? I need to get to Robert’s place.”

  “Early. Are you hungry?”

  “No.” I get out of bed, run my fingers through my hair, and walk straight out of the bedroom and right to the phone in the kitchen. “I’m calling Shay’s parents. I can’t hold off any longer. My girl has to know I’m out by now, and I need to talk to her.” I pick up the phone, and there is still no damn dial tone. “Is this normal? Why the fuck is there still no dial tone?”

  “This is a small town, Jace. They’re probably having a hard time with all the trees everywhere and down phone lines.”

  “I could never live like this. If there was a crisis and I couldn’t get in touch with Shay, I’d go fucking crazy.” I stop and let out a breath. “She’s got to be going out of her mind right now with worry. Can you take me to Robert’s now? I need to get that tire on my bike and get on the road.”

  “Don’t you want to take a shower first?’

  “I’ll brush my teeth. I’m not worried about a damn shower right now. I took one when I got here, right now I just want to get over there.” I walk to the bathroom, take a leak, and brush my teeth.

  Grace grabs her keys, and when I leave the bathroom, we head straight to the car. She doesn’t ask me what way to turn. She just starts driving in the right direction. I look over at her, and she’s chewing on her lip. “Do you know where Robert lives, Mom?” She starts to say something, then stops and clears her throat.

  “There was an older man named Robert that lived down the road when I was a kid, so I’m assuming it’s the same one.”

  “Oh, probably. It’s looks like he’s lived there a long time.”

  “When he dropped you off yesterday, did you tell him your name?”

  “Yeah, I told him.”

  “I know you told him your first name, but did you tell him your last name?”

  “I told him my full name, and he asked me if I lived with my parents. I just said I was visiting my mom.”

  She shrugs her shoulders. “Did he ask my name?”

  “No, but I told him your name.”

  She pulls up to Robert’s barn and stops. Looking at me, she asks, “You told him my name was Grace?”

  “Yeah, Mom, I did. Why are you acting so weird?”

  “I’m not. It’s just… Was he alone?”

  “Yeah, he lives alone, but his son will be there today. I’m doing some repairs on his bike in exchange for a spare tire for mine.”

  “His son drives a motorcycle?”

  “I guess so. He’s got some nice vintage muscle cars, too, in his barn,” I tell her as Robert walks out of the barn and waves at us.

  “Hurry up and get back so you can get on the road, Jace. The weather still isn’t good. With the rain letting up, you’ll get a good jumpstart on the drive t
o get past it.”

  “Now you’re trying to get rid of me.” I chuckle as she stares at Robert.

  “No, I just know how much you want to get back to Shay.”

  “More than you know. So don’t worry. I’m out of here as soon as I can.”

  She nods, and I jump out of her car and watch her speed off.

  “Aw, I like a boy who stands on his word,” Robert says as I start walking up the gravel driveway.

  “I’m not that reliable,” I reply, knowing how bad I’m letting down my girl.

  “Well, you came when you told me you were going to, so I’d have to disagree.” He turns around to walk into the barn.

  “My girl might not agree with you,” I mumble mostly to myself, following him.

  “Speak up, boy. I can’t hear you over the radio.”

  “I didn’t say anything. What do you want me to fix on your son’s bike?”

  “His exhaust pipes need changed out.”

  “Sure. That’s an easy fix,” I say, looking at what I’m working with.

  “Let’s get that tire on for you first. I found one that will work just fine.”

  “Thank you. I really appreciate it.” I smile.

  “You got any siblings, Jace?” He walks up to me and stares a little too closely.

  “No, sir. It’s just my mom and me.”

  “Where’s your dad?” He hands me some tools.

  “Never met him.”

  He clears his throat, rolling the tire to me. I take the tire, and with my bike lifted, I put my way back home in place. I let out a breath, secure it, and grin.

  “Good as new,” he says, standing above me.

  “Thanks again, Robert. I need to get back to California.”

  “California?”

  “Yeah, that’s where I live.”

  “That’s where you’ve been?”

  I tilt my head. “Yeah, that’s where I was born and raised.”

  He looks away. “Here are the new pipes.”

  “Thanks,” I say, taking the box out of his hand.

  “When are you going back to California?”