by Brisa Starr
I feel like I’ll know the right crystal when I see it. It will be obvious.
I’m sure Jenna would approve of that philosophy.
After half an hour, a beautiful piece of turquoise catches my eye. I instantly know it’s the one… turquoise. But of course. So emblematic of Arizona, I feel silly that I hadn’t thought of it earlier.
I don’t really know much about turquoise – other than its use in Navajo jewelry. I know that crystals and other minerals are supposed to have various healing properties, at least according to Jenna’s many books on crystals I flipped through while passing the time this week. But turquoise is perfect. It will represent my experience… my adventure in Carefree, and the great Southwest.
I’m about to head to the front of the store to pay for my turquoise and leave, when something stops me. I shrug it off and keep walking. Then I stop again. That’s strange. I turn and look down to see a stone that is brown and gold. I look at the sign next to it, which says, “Tiger’s Eye.” Hmmm, intriguing. I’ve heard of it, but this one in particular is so shockingly beautiful, I can’t take my eyes off it. The sign says it’s a powerful stone to “aid harmony and balance.” I don’t know why, but I have an overwhelming urge to buy this for Adron. The words harmony and balance stand out to me.
I look at my phone to see the time, and I glimpse the date and grin... my birthday isn’t far off. I remember that I need to call Jenna and ask her if it’s OK for Billy to come visit for a few days. I FaceTime her right here from the crystal shop. She’ll get a kick out that.
Jenna answers on the first ring and immediately says with a big smile, “Alyson, hello my dear. Oh! I see you’re standing in one of my favorite shops. Please tell Doris I say hello.”
“Will do. How are you doing? How’s Santa Fe?”
“Fabulous, Alyson, absolutely fabulous. You will come here someday and see for yourself. The energy is everywhere, and you feel it in your bones, pulsing life. There’s a reason why artists come here. It’s an epicenter for creativity.”
I think for a second about her peculiar statement that “I’ll be there someday” and her knowing tone of voice when she said it. I sigh softly and smile. She’s strange, but funny.
I reply, “I’ll make a mental note of that.” I walk through the store as I continue, “I was calling because I wanted to update you, and let you know everything is going well here. All the animals are happy and well-fed.”
“That’s good to hear. I expected nothing less when I selected you specifically, dear.” She gives me a sly smile and then holds her phone close, like she’s trying to see my face closer. “How is Adron?” she asks and pulls back from the phone when she realizes that won’t help.
“I think he’s okay. He works at night a lot, and I hear him play his music.”
“I love when he plays his music. It’s my favorite time of year when he visits. Sometimes, I stay up extra late, just to listen to him. You ever do that? You know, I knew he’d be a songwriter someday.”
I can’t help myself and ask, “Does he write songs for more than just pleasure? I mean, is it part of his business?”
“Oh, very much so. He’s sold some of his music, made mixes for some famous artists, too.” She pauses a moment and tilts her head and continues, “But the thing about Adron is that, for as strong and almost cocky as he seems sometimes, I question whether he fully understands how talented he really is.” Her eyes dim a little with sadness.
She’s looking at me, waiting for me to say something, so I do. “I’d agree, he’s really talented, but he doesn’t talk about his music very much. Or much about anything, really,” I open up.
“No, he doesn’t. You should ask him more about it. Get him talking about it. He’ll open up. Try it, you’ll see.”
Then, I remember the other reason for my call. I ignore her last statement – I don’t know how to respond to it. “I’m calling for another reason. I have a question to ask, and I totally understand if you would not want me to do this, but I thought I would ask.”
“What can I do for you, dear?”
I’m encouraged by her warm smile and inviting expression. “My birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks, and my best friend from high school is in Mexico surfing right now. I wanted to know if he could come up for a couple of days and stay with me at the house to celebrate.”
“Lovely! Perfectly fine, Alyson, I have no problem with that at all.”
Relieved, I smile back warmly and thank Jenna before we hang up.
I bounce my way to the cashier to check out. Billy is just what I need. Spending a few days with a familiar face will satisfy the craving for connection this town of Carefree is creating within me. We’ll drink beer, watch our favorite old black-and-white movies, and veg out on the couch. I’ll even introduce him to Sammy… he’ll get a big kick out of her.
At the front of the store, I see the clerk’s name tag says Doris. “Jenna told me to tell you hello. I’m Alyson. I’m house-sitting for her.”
“Oh, that sweet lady, you tell her hello back, please.” Doris smiles and rings up my turquoise and tiger’s eye. “Oh, wait here, I have something for you.” She bends down behind the counter, and I hear her digging around. She calls out, “Jenna said you’d be coming by this week, and she asked me to give you something. Now, if I could only find that bag. Oh! Here we go.” She pops back up and hands me a brown paper bag over the counter. “Jenna told me to tell you that you’re to put one each in the four corners of your bedroom,” she says, with a twinkle in her eye.
“She wants me to use these? Are you sure you have the right person? She didn’t know I was coming here.”
“Of course she did… she’s Jenna.” The conviction in her reply makes me pause.
“Um, OK, what’s in there?”
“Rose quartz.”
“What’s rose quartz for?”
She looks surprised, as though everyone in the world knows what rose quartz is for. “Why, love, of course.”
My eyes grow wide as I slowly reach across the counter and take the bag from her hands, holding it at arm’s length away from me, like it’s got a ticking bomb inside.
“And, don’t forget, honey, one in each corner of your room,” she says, throwing me a mischievously cheery smile.
“O-kay” I drawl, trying not to offend her with the disbelief in my freaked-out, wide-open eyes.
I pay for my souvenirs and head out.
Rose quartz and love? Ha!
I stop by Sammy’s, and she’s too busy to talk, but hands me the package of steaks for Adron plus more pet food, and I head back to the house.
I pull into the driveway and turn off my car. I open the bag and glimpse the beautiful pink stones. Was Jenna’s choice to decorate the room I sleep in with rose quartz a coincidence, or was there more to that? The more I think about it, the more obvious is the answer. I don’t think anything Jenna does is a coincidence.
Happy to have an excuse to visit Adron, I knock on the door. He opens it and smiles at me. Seems he’s not his usual moody self right now, and I’m encouraged.
“Hi,” he says, light dancing in his pretty, blue eyes.
Damn, I want to kiss him. Right here. Right now. I almost drop the bags I’m holding and throw myself at him, when, thank god, he says, “How was your time in town?”
I swallow, relieved that I didn’t make a fool of myself. “It, um, it was good.” I stammer, and stare at his chiseled chest for a hot second. “Um, Sammy sent me home with your steaks.”
“Great,” he says. “Do you mind putting them in the kitchen refrigerator for me, please? My fridge out here is pretty small.”
“Sure, no problem.” I shift my weight to my other hip, not knowing what to say, but not wanting to leave either.
He looks at the bags in my hand and sees the crystal shop logo. “Looks like you found something.”
“Yes!” I suddenly remember, how could I forget? Oh, because I’m spellbound by this beautiful man, that’s how. “I f
ound something for you.” I hand him the bag with the tiger’s eye. When he sees what’s inside the bag, he’s shocked, arching an eyebrow, and an appreciative chuckle escapes his lips as he pulls the shimmering, brown and gold stone out of the bag, and a warm glow fills his eyes. And my heart.
“Thank you. I’ve always liked tiger’s eye. I appreciate it.”
“I thought…” I bit my lip, and he watches me. “I just thought it might help with your music writing or something,” I say and blush a little. “I don’t really know a lot about these things, but it called to me. Can’t ignore a rock when it calls you, right?”
“Auntie would approve.” He smiles and puts the stone back in the bag. “What else did you get?”
I show him my piece of turquoise and he smiles again, then nods to the third bag. The one with the rose quartz. “Oh, that’s nothing,” I blurt. “Just something your Auntie had me pick up for her.”
I’m not ready to be away from him yet, and I want to see him later, so fuck it, I’m just going to make it happen. “Look, Adron,” I start, and he looks directly into my eyes. “I know I was pretty pissed off the other day when I lost Yvon. It scared me, and it upset me. I might have overreacted a little, but, oh, I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I guess I’m not really mad at you. I mean, I don’t like what you did, but I know you were trying to help me… though I’m not saying that was the right way go about it!” I trip over my words, stumbling, which isn’t like me. I look deeper into his sultry, blue eyes and say, “You wanna go on a walk tonight with the dogs and me after dinner?”
A slow, sexy smile spreads across his face, and I wonder what I just got myself into, but I don’t really care because the butterflies in my stomach are doing cartwheels. I think about the rose quartz I’m holding in the bag.
“It’s a date,” he says, and before I can refute that description, he adds “see you tonight,” and closes the door.
9
Alyson
Back at the house, I’m buoyant with happiness about spending my evening walk with him tonight. I cover my heart with my hand, and a relaxed smile spreads across my face when I think about how much I enjoy just being with him. I don’t have everything sorted in my head, or my heart, but I don’t care. I’ll try again, try something. But, first? I need a plan.
When I’m trying to decide which house-sits to take, I like to use the trusty decision-making technique invented by Benjamin Franklin: the PROS and CONS list. And while I’m not entirely comfortable making a list like this for people, I’m going to do it anyway. Besides, something is better than nothing. It’ll help me organize my thoughts, kind of like journaling. In fact, I can think of this exercise as journaling in bullet list format.
I grab my notebook and lay down prone on the bed, with my knees bent and feet up the air. I draw a line down the middle of the page and label PROS on the left and CONS on the right in big letters. I tap my pencil on my lip and glance over, where I see the rose quartz I dutifully placed in the corners of my bedroom. I might question the validity of claims that crystal crunchers make about rose quartz and love, but I’m not stupid enough to tempt fate with dismissive arrogance. Besides, it can’t hurt.
Hm. Adron. What do I want from him? What do I want for me? Should I do anything with him? The first PRO that comes to mind: hot sex. Presumably, that is, if the kiss was any indication. I could add a lot more about how sexy and commanding his presence is, and how the blood rushes between my legs just thinking about him. How amazing our kiss was. But… I’m not sure those apply as extra PROS. Maybe I should be journaling after all. For now, all of those are probably just part of the “hot sex” bullet-point.
OK, what else? I write down another item in the PRO column: “I like him.” I know he’s moody and dark and quiet, but I feel like I sort of understand him or something.
Now for some CONS. Hmm, how to describe it… the main CON about my situation is that something has cracked in the armor protecting my heart, letting light in to illuminate it. It scares the hell out of me. And I’m not interested in that light. Right? My chest tightens a little, both from fear and longing. Maybe if I ensure the crack doesn’t widen any further… can I keep my heart protected? And is that what I want, a wall around my heart? I pick at my cuticles, the options swirling in my mind. I look back down at my paper and wonder how to summarize all of that succinctly.
I write in the CONS column: “I’m afraid.”
Eager to revisit the PROS again, I move on. Another PRO is that being with Adron would pass the time here. We could have fun instead of me sitting alone in the house all day. Well, there is fun to be had indoors, if we’re together. I smirk and write down another PRO: “fun.”
But, wait, there’s the challenge that he’s not interested in a fling, so that’s a CON. But… I’m hoping to change that. Or? Maybe we can start with that and see what happens?
I write down a CON: “He doesn’t want a fling.”
I bite my lip and look at my list. Admittedly, skimpy and a little confusing. And I don’t think it’s helping. I fumble as I get off the bed, and I make a decision. Yes, I’ll be bold with him tonight. I’ll flirt and see where it takes us.
I feel better already. I practically skip to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. I add simple makeup, but with an extra layer of my ruby lip gloss. I don’t bother doing anything fancy with my hair because the heat will flatten it anyway. So I just spritz a little hair spray for volume and scrunch the roots, squeezing with my hands.
It’s still center-of-the-sun, scalding hot out, so I’m sticking with my sensible, breathable cotton shorts and a loose tank top. No way am I wearing a bra either. It’s way too hot, and my girls gotta be free.
It’ll be nice walking outside while the sun sets and not having to worry about sunscreen on my shoulders. I put on socks and lace up my tennis shoes before heading into the kitchen for water. My heart impatiently taps its foot for our “date.” I mean, he called it that, right?
I sit at the kitchen counter drinking my water and holding the dogs’ leashes, when Adron comes in carrying a flashlight. Fuck me. He’s so sexy. I smile, and I don’t even bother hiding it. He’s wearing his usual cargo shorts, shirtless, with a pair of Vibram Five Finger shoes on his feet. He even makes those weird shoes look sexy. A lock of his hair flops onto his forehead and I want to run my fingers through it, putting it back in place.
“Aren’t you supposed to knock?” I ask him, leaning back and folding my arms across my chest.
“Only when you’re not expecting me,” he says pointedly and then smirks.
“Fair enough.” I smile and hop off the bar stool. “Let’s go, sexy,” I say.
He moves toward me, and I swear I can hear a low grumble from his chest as he approaches. The familiar, intense pull is back, and my skin tingles. I close my eyes ever so briefly and inhale his intoxicating, fresh clove and rain scent.
“Yvon! Elliott!” I call for the dogs, and they come running. They’re excited for their walk, and even more so with Adron here. The big Lab and tiny Yorkie both shake their butts so fast I can hardly get their leashes hooked onto their harnesses.
We set onto a trail off the back of the house that leads into the desert, and I’m thankful that the intense heat takes a little break for the night. It’s still hot, but it no longer feels like I’m standing in an oven. The desert at dusk humbles me with its fierce beauty. Magnificent saguaro cactus – I’m told no native Arizonan says “cacti” – standing tall, thorny brambles sheltering dangerous creatures like rattlesnakes and scorpions, and the deep silence. Not to mention, the remote possibility of encountering a mountain lion, or the very high chances of seeing coyotes moving around under the relief of the cooling darkness, and hunting, as this is when their prey comes out, too. Coyotes are normally no threat to people, but things can go sideways if a pack of them encounter somebody walking dogs. I’m always on high alert during my evening walks, and I always grip the leashes tight.
The desert
is sultry and dangerous, like Adron.
I can see why it draws people here.
I can see why I’m drawn to him.
We’re about fifteen minutes into our walk and enjoying each other’s company, sharing stories about growing up, our likes and dislikes, and bonding gently over our disconnect with our parents. I’m in the middle of telling him about my love of old black-and-white movies, and I realize I need to tell him Billy is coming for a visit. I’ll tell him later.
We find new common ground on several things, and I’m equally intrigued by our differences. I learn that he’s a minimalist, kind of like me, though my lifestyle requires it, whereas for him, it’s a deliberate way for having to make fewer decisions. Hence, the one color of shorts. I get it.
“I reserve my mental energy for writing music,” he explains. “I can’t be bothered with things like what to wear or make for dinner. I like what I like, and I stick with it. Forever,” he says, with unusual intensity.
I seize this opening and ask more about his music, as Jenna had recommended. She was right, and suddenly he opens up, speaking much faster and more comfortably than usual, without any of those dark, brooding pauses that always make me wonder what he’s thinking. He’s been playing guitar since he was thirteen, and keyboard since he was sixteen. He’s self-taught in both and plays music by ear. Could he get any sexier? I mean, come on, a man who plays music, likes animals, and has a sexy tattoo. He’s like a good-n’-sexy, dangerous boy. I should just throw myself at him now.
I decide not to. Not yet.
I find myself at peace, and the feeling is mutual, I think. He’s attentive and curious, asking me more questions and giving more answers in the last fifteen minutes than he has in the weeks I’ve been here. Everything is going so well, I make my move.
“Look,” I say, “I want to talk about us.”
He gives me a sidelong glance and a smirk. “This ought to be good.”
“I’m very much attracted to you, and I’m a straight shooter. So, I’m just gonna tell you how it is.”
