His Secret

by Brisa Starr

  I’ve been holding in so much pain from their divorce because I felt betrayed. I was mad at them for hurting me, and hurting each other. But maybe that was overkill. Maybe I imagined a love that wasn’t there. Maybe that’s also why it hurt so bad… because reality didn’t fit my expectations.

  “You know… you’ve given me something to think about. I mean, if my parents had been fighting all the time, then it wouldn’t have surprised me when they divorced. I’m not sure what hurts more, the fact that I felt betrayed, or the fact that they were cheating on each other. Your questions are things I never thought about. I shut down after it happened, and I just ran away from it.”

  We arrive back at the ranch, and Adron leads us into the stables. “What are your parents doing now? Are they with the people they were fooling around with? Are they at least happy now?”

  I think about that as he helps me off my horse, and I’m suddenly overwhelmed with emotion as my mind whirls with wonder. I won the hot sauce competition easily because I was able to reframe the intense pain as a kind of pleasure. What could it mean for me if I similarly reframed my parents’ behavior – from one of betrayal, and an excuse for me to run – to them simply trying to find happiness for themselves while providing a stable home for their daughter?

  I don’t even know how to think about this. It would turn my whole life narrative upside-down, to one of tragedy, but without any villains. Or evil. Or like when Disney made Maleficent the victim, with her wings cut off! Huh?… where the fuck did that analogy come fr...

  He interrupts my ruminations with a gentle brush of the back of his fingertips to my cheek. He smiles – an understanding smile – but says nothing.

  We walk to the car and get in. He doesn’t start the engine and turns to me as I say, “To be honest, I don’t know how happy they are now, because they divorced when I was 21, away at college. I was so pissed, I stopped going home, never knowing whose house I should go to. I haven’t spent a lot of time with either of them in the past few years. Holiday house-sits are easy to find, so I use them as an excuse not to go home.”

  I sigh and gaze out the windshield. “We exchange emails, text messages, and the occasional birthday phone call, but I don’t visit if I don’t have to. But to answer your question, yes, my dad is still with the other woman. My mom isn’t with the guy she screwed around with. I don’t know how she’s really doing. She doesn’t seem depressed or anything.” I shrug.

  “Maybe it was all for the best then,” he offers quietly and laces his fingers with mine.

  “Yeah, maybe.”

  He starts up the car and pulls our interlocked hands up to his lips and kisses them. I love being here with him. My shattered heart doesn’t feel like a thousand pieces anymore. I’m not sure if it’s whole yet, but this is the closest it’s been in a long time.

  “Thank you for the horseback ride. It was wonderful. Not only better than I expected, but it gave me a lot to think about. I’ve been running from things for a couple of years now. You’re giving me other options to consider.” I smile and a feeling of comfort and safety envelopes me like a warm blanket as I look at him.

  He releases my hand and leans over to me. He cups my face with his hands and looks in my eyes. “That’s music to my ears. Let’s go home now. I want to bury my face between your legs and suck your sweet pussy. It’s been too long already since I worshiped at your altar.”

  All the deep thoughts that took up residence in my head mere moments ago vanish like ghosts. I’m left with a searing, feverish desire between my legs, knowing the only thing I need to think about between here and home is how many ways we’re going to make love.

  With his hand shifting the gear shift, I reach over and trail my fingers up his inner thigh. I get to the bulge between his legs, and his cock is hard and ready for me. I rub my hand on it, making him harder, getting him going, making him hot.

  “Be careful,” he says and gives me an edgy glance, “or I’ll take you down one of these dark desert roads and fuck you on the hood of the car. I’d like to, but I’d prefer you spread-eagle in my bed so I can have proper access to your pretty little cunt.”

  I heed the warning, anticipation thrilling my nerves, and I withdraw my hand from his cock.

  “Good girl.”

  We pull up the driveway, and he gets out and opens my door. He pulls me out, scoops me up in his arms, and carries me to the casita. Once inside, he throws me on the bed and takes my shoes and socks off, then yanks down my shorts and underwear. He spreads my legs and says, “Don’t move.”

  I do as he says and lie there silently, my legs spread, fully exposing my pussy to him. The feeling of naked vulnerability, and the trust required to make me feel so comfortable doing it, make my clit throb with anticipation.

  He takes his own shoes off and kicks off his shorts and boxers. “Spread your legs farther,” he commands, his eyes feasting on my exposed pussy.

  I do as he says and pull my knees back and hold my legs open with my hands, as wide as they’ll go. He lowers himself onto the bed and slinks toward me like a panther approaching an unsuspecting doe. He then places his head between my thighs and inhales deeply. “I can feel your heat, and I haven’t even touched you.”

  “Please lick me,” I purr. “I need you.”

  His tongue enters my pussy and discovers a pent-up pool of wetness waiting to flow onto his tongue. He swallows a mouthful then flicks his tongue on my clit, and I’m so wound up, I don’t think I’ll last a minute. “Oh god, Adron, yes, please don’t stop. Right there. Yeah, right there, right there.”

  He licks faster, harder, and buries his face between my legs, worshiping me like a goddess. “You’re my fucking queen,” he grunts, his smoky voice aimed straight into my cunt. “I’m going to worship you every day for the rest of your life.”

  My breath catches in my chest at these words, so romantic and full of promise, and sexy as hell. It makes me explode, and I come fiercely, grinding on his face, feeling the scratch of his stubble on my labia. My legs tense and my body shivers and shakes, the orgasm shattering me. “Ahhhh, yes. Oh god, yes, thank you. YES!”

  I pull him down on me and kiss him hard with all the passion I have in me, and then I roll us over and he’s on his back. “My turn. I’m going to ride you.”

  I pull my shirt up over my head and take off my bra. I look to the nightstand, and he sees my eyes. “Yeah, they’re in there.”

  I open the drawer and grab a foil packet. I open it and roll the condom onto him, never taking my eyes off his. The electricity, as usual, crackles hot between us.

  I grab his enormous shaft and ease myself down onto him. It’s so thick and strong, I feel like I’m impaled on a pole. I can’t help but moan like a whore.

  “Ride me, sweetheart. Ride my cock. Show me how bad you want me.”

  Fresh wetness runs down on his cock, and I rock my hips on him, slowly at first. I bend down and kiss him, biting his lower lip, and he moans. He grabs my hips and grinds up into me, and I match him, pressing harder from above, in a perfect rhythm that proves our bodies were made to fuck each other.

  I bounce harder, up and down on him, and he’s guiding my hips and showing me how he likes it. “Put your hands up behind your head and look down at me.”

  I do as he says, and he runs his hands from my hips, up to my waist, then he kneads my breasts hanging before him like ripe, juicy fruit. He moans louder, “Fuck, Alyson, yes, fuck me, sweetheart.”

  I bring my arms down, caging him on each side, and I shift into high gear, and start riding his cock hard.

  “Oh god, Alyson. Yes, baby. I’m going to come. Rub your clit and come on me.”

  I lean back, still pumping his cock fiercely with my cunt, and I rub my clit with my fingers, bringing myself to climax just as he comes, and we ride the wave of intense pleasure together, moaning together, until I collapse on top of him.

  I’m his.

  He’s mine.

  After a moment of feeling our chests and be
llies pressed against each other in post-orgasmic bliss, I slide off him and he gets up and disposes of the condom in the bathroom. I get under the sheets, spent and happy.

  “I’ll go check on the animals,” he says. “You stay here.”

  I yawn. “Oh god, you must’ve screwed my brains out because I totally forgot. You’re a dangerous influence on me. Thank you, though, for helping.”

  He chuckles, puts on his shorts – commando – and heads to the main house. I yawn again and lie back, comfortable in his bed, smelling his scent on the pillows.

  He comes back twenty minutes later and brings me a bottle of sparkling water. I take a sip, and he sits on the edge of the bed.

  “I’m going to work, but I’ll wear headphones so I don’t disturb you. Cool?”

  “Yes, but can you not put on the headphones for a little while? You put me to sleep every night when you play, and I want to hear what beautiful creation you’re working on.”

  He leans over and kisses me tenderly on my forehead.

  I feel something change inside me. I’m not sure what triggers it – my intense day of excitement, the heat, the competition, our recent talks, reflections about my parents, or maybe this random moment of tenderness after sex.

  Whatever the cause, I take a deep, cleansing breath and look into his eyes.

  My heart is whole.

  16

  Adron

  Arizona summer days tend to blend together as they pass. It goes from fucking hot in the morning, to really fucking hot in the middle of the day, and back to fucking hot in the evening. But we keep busy, and as our relationship moves forward, I don’t give a shit about the heat.

  She makes me feel like a king, and our relationship is right. We fit. She’s the yin to my yang. I wake up every single day craving her touch, her taste. This is my woman, and she’s everything I could ever wish for.

  Of course, she drives me damn crazy too, but I’m getting used to her bold ways and sassy mouth. It’s made for some epic sex. Every new day brings more confirmation of what I already know: This woman was made for me.

  Things are almost perfect. Almost. I still haven’t told her about the inheritance. Every time I want to, it doesn’t seem like the right time. But I know, the longer I wait, the worse I make it.

  Our days are relaxing. Alyson tends to the animals in the morning and evening, and she occasionally runs errands in town. She also teaches her classes in the middle of the day. I’m usually up late at night working on my music, and because I won’t spend a night apart from her, I’ve grown comfortable using headphones so she can sleep in the casita. With me.

  She’s been getting ready for her friend to visit, and he arrives tomorrow. I’m still not excited about this house guest. I don’t care that he’s her best friend. He’s the opposite sex, and that’s bad enough. I keep thinking of the line from When Harry Met Sally that spawned a million awkward conversations, and probably more than a few breakups: “Men and women can’t be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.”

  But, frankly, I wouldn’t even want a female friend to visit her. I just don’t want to share any of my time with her… with anyone.

  I head over to the main house to see what she’s up to this afternoon. I walk into the kitchen, and she has her laptop open, wrapping up a class. I wait patiently, watching her from across the kitchen, not wanting to disturb her. But now that I’ve set eyes on her, I want to tear her clothes off.

  She’s wearing a red and white, cropped checkered tank top that shows off her sexy tummy. I’m doing everything I can not to go over there and drop to my knees, and kiss and lick her taut stomach, and make my way down for my daily feeding between her legs.

  She sees my lust and holds up her finger in silent warning, so I hit up the refrigerator for a bottled water while she finishes up with her students. I turn around and lock eyes with my woman over her laptop as she closes it.

  “Hello there, my sex god,” she says and stands up, walking seductively over to me, swaying her hips, and I wonder what she’d look like wearing nothing but high heels and thigh-highs strutting like that. She smacks a fervent kiss on my lips.

  “Hello to you, my sex-kitten.” I bite her bottom lip.

  “Mmm…” she moans, and I release her. She steps back and traces her finger on my bare chest.

  “So, have you told Billy about us?”

  “Of course,” she replies and smiles. “He’s my best friend. I told him about your sexy ass the day I arrived.” She reaches behind me and squeezes my ass playfully.

  “Oh, did you?” I say, pleased for an instant, but on second thought, I’m not sure I like this. The thought of her confiding in someone about us. And the thought of her having a best friend that’s not me. I want to be her best friend. My face darkens.

  “What’s the problem now?” She puts her hands on her hips and cocks her head at me.

  “Nothing,” I mutter.

  “Don’t give me that horseshit, Adron.”

  “I see you’ve been hanging around Sammy… ‘horseshit’?”

  “Well, that’s what it is — horseshit. So? What’s going on in your head?” She tucks her hair behind her ear and then smiles sweetly at me and continues, “I promise, you will love Billy. He’s the coolest cat on the block.”

  I wince again at that, and she sees. “Of course, he’s not as cool a cat as you,” she backpedals. “I used to think he was the coolest cat. Until I met you.”

  I smile at her sweet attempts to cover her tracks, and she seems sincere. I know the value she places on honesty, and my sense is that she’s literally incapable of blowing smoke up someone’s ass. She’s too genuine – what you see is what you get, and I love that.

  So I relax a bit.

  “I’m sure he’s fine. I just don’t relish the thought of sharing you for the next few days. To be honest, Alyson, as you know, our time is limited. Until we figure out what to do.”

  She steps away from me and sits down, propping her head up in her hands, elbows on the table. I have her attention.

  I continue, “Obviously, we have something serious going on between us.”

  Would now be the right time to say something?

  Um. No, dude.

  If I say something now and she gets pissed, she’ll run into Billy’s arms. I might as well just offer her up to him on a silver platter. Naked. With grapes. And I have no idea what his intentions are. No, now is definitely not the right time.

  She looks at me, a smile on her face and her eyes shine like dark chocolate, gooey and warm. “I’ve been thinking about us too,” she says. “We don’t have to decide anything now. We still have a few weeks before your Auntie comes back, and my prize money gives me some flexibility for what I do after that...”

  “What are you getting at, sweetheart?” Fuck, I want her right now. I restrain myself, trying to be a good listener.

  “Well, I don’t know. Just, well... I might be ready to stop running all over the country. With the money I won, I’d have enough to pay a month’s rent and security deposit if I wanted to hunker down somewhere. I mean, here. I have you here. I have a good girlfriend now, Sammy. I’m kind of liking this small-town life. It’s growing on me.”

  Her eyes twinkle like stars on a moonless night, and she continues, “So, you see, I’ve got all kinds good reasons to consider maybe making a home right here. I don’t know, it’s just something I’ve been chewing on. I’m not making any promises, but things have changed in my head. I’m happy here.” She looks away and then back at me before she whispers, “And my heart tells me to stay. With you.”

  She’s fearless. I’ll give her that. Just says what she’s thinking, no games, no bullshit. Me, on the other hand...

  She bites the inside of her cheek, waiting for me to say something, and when I don’t, she continues, “I spent some time thinking abou-”

  I interrupt her, “You’d consider living in Arizona?” I did not see this coming. Not yet anyway, and my mind races to make sens
e of it as my thoughts scatter in every direction.

  She nods. A herd of elephants stampedes through me, and I suddenly feel warm everywhere.

  “Yes,” she says, “I’m thinking about it. I want to. Nothing makes me feel the way you do, Adron. And, while this is all still new, well, I don’t want to run away from what we’re creating. From you. From us.”

  She pauses.

  I’m speechless, waiting for her to continue, when she says, “I’ve fallen for you. Your plan. In one month… it worked.” She looks deeply into my eyes, searching for my response.

  “Alyson.” I bend down and devour her mouth with a kiss so hard her lips will be sore. I pull back and look in her eyes. “I fell for you the minute we fucking met.”

  Here I go.

  Jump.

  “I love you.”

  She inhales a shaky breath, the whites around her eyes grow wide, and she takes a step back.

  “You... love... me?”

  “Fuck, yes, I do. Wasn’t it obvious when I claimed you as mine, the day of the hike? Alyson, you’re the one. I don’t want a day without your smile or the high you give me. I was closed down, dark, and turned off from everything, until you came into my life and spun my world like a tornado.”

  I peer into her eyes, waiting for her turn, but her eyes just well up with tears. “What, Alyson? What is it?” I cup her face with my hands.

  “I never thought this was possible. I gave up on the idea of love three years ago and never looked back. Then, I met you and felt this crazy spark of something that breathed new life into me. It confused the hell out of me at first, and believe me, I tried to blame it on anything else – lust, or hormones, or loneliness at being on the road and homeless.”

  “But it was none of those reasons, or maybe all of those things together, which opened my eyes to a truth I’d never considered. Love. You helped me see that true love could be powerful and strong, and it doesn’t have to end in divorce. Maybe my parents didn’t love each other, you know, like true love. Maybe we can be like in the movies, love conquers all, you know, like your grandparents.”